Tag: Ronda Rousey

The 10 Greatest Undefeated Fighters in MMA: 2012 Edition

In June 2010, we posted a list of the ten greatest fighters who had yet to take a loss. By November 2011, none of their perfect records were still intact, proving once again what a cruel bitch this sport is. Half of the fighters on our original list — Shane Carwin (#1), Megumi Fujii (#2), Ryan Bader (#6), Evan Dunham (#7), and Lyle Beerbohm (#10) — have even lost *twice* since then. So we decided to start over from scratch and come up with a new ranking of undefeated MMA fighters. Check it out, and let us know who you think will hold onto their ‘0’ the longest. -BG

#1: DANIEL CORMIER (10-0, six wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: Jeff Monson at Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum (UD), Antonio Silva at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov (KO R1), Josh Barnett at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Cormier (UD)

Next fight: TBA

The former collegiate wrestling star and Olympic competitor went through hell to get to where he is today. Less than three years after kicking off his MMA career, Cormier battled his way to a career-defining matchup against ex-UFC champ Josh Barnett — a catch-wrestling savant with four times as many fights on his pro record as Cormier — in the finals of Strikeforce’s Heavyweight Grand Prix. But Dan didn’t need to turn the meeting into a grappling match. As he also demonstrated against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva in his previous outing, Cormier packs enough speed and punching-power to win fights with his striking alone. It’s only a matter of time before he enters the UFC to take on the best in the world, and we have a feeling he’ll make an immediate impact.

#2: MICHAEL CHANDLER (10-0, eight wins by stoppage)

Notable victories: Patricky Freire at Bellator 44 (UD), Eddie Alvarez at Bellator 58 (sub R4), Akihiro Gono at Bellator 67 (TKO R1)

Next fight: TBA

Michael Chandler is the perfect example of how a tournament can transform a fighter from unheralded prospect to breakout star. After winning his first two Bellator appearances by swift first-round stoppage in 2010, Chandler was invited to participate in the promotion’s season four lightweight tournament. The Xtreme Couture product sliced through it, starting with a first-round submission of Polish prodigy Marcin Held, and ending with a decision win over knockout artist Patricky “Pitbull” Freire in the finals. Then, Chandler did the unthinkable — he took the lightweight belt from Eddie Alvarez, choking out the formerly untouchable Bellator champ in the fourth round of an insane Fight of the Year candidate last November. (A follow-up non-title match against Akihiro Gono was little more than a one-minute showcase of his killer instinct.) In eight months, Chandler went from 5-0 up-and-comer to newly-minted champion with a win over a top-ten ranked opponent. Is it okay if we use the “meteoric rise” cliché, just this once?

In June 2010, we posted a list of the ten greatest fighters who had yet to take a loss. By November 2011, none of their perfect records were still intact, proving once again what a cruel bitch this sport is. Half of the fighters on our original list — Shane Carwin (#1), Megumi Fujii (#2), Ryan Bader (#6), Evan Dunham (#7), and Lyle Beerbohm (#10) — have even lost *twice* since then. So we decided to start over from scratch and come up with a new ranking of undefeated MMA fighters. Check it out, and let us know who you think will hold onto their ’0′ the longest. -BG

#1: DANIEL CORMIER (10-0, six wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: Jeff Monson at Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum (UD), Antonio Silva at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov (KO R1), Josh Barnett at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Cormier (UD)

Next fight: TBA

The former collegiate wrestling star and Olympic competitor went through hell to get to where he is today. Less than three years after kicking off his MMA career, Cormier battled his way to a career-defining matchup against ex-UFC champ Josh Barnett — a catch-wrestling savant with four times as many fights on his pro record as Cormier — in the finals of Strikeforce’s Heavyweight Grand Prix. But Dan didn’t need to turn the meeting into a grappling match. As he also demonstrated against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva in his previous outing, Cormier packs enough speed and punching-power to win fights with his striking alone. It’s only a matter of time before he enters the UFC to take on the best in the world, and we have a feeling he’ll make an immediate impact.

#2: MICHAEL CHANDLER (10-0, eight wins by stoppage)

Notable victories: Patricky Freire at Bellator 44 (UD), Eddie Alvarez at Bellator 58 (sub R4), Akihiro Gono at Bellator 67 (TKO R1)

Next fight: TBA

Michael Chandler is the perfect example of how a tournament can transform a fighter from unheralded prospect to breakout star. After winning his first two Bellator appearances by swift first-round stoppage in 2010, Chandler was invited to participate in the promotion’s season four lightweight tournament. The Xtreme Couture product sliced through it, starting with a first-round submission of Polish prodigy Marcin Held, and ending with a decision win over knockout artist Patricky “Pitbull” Freire in the finals. Then, Chandler did the unthinkable — he took the lightweight belt from Eddie Alvarez, choking out the formerly untouchable Bellator champ in the fourth round of an insane Fight of the Year candidate last November. (A follow-up non-title match against Akihiro Gono was little more than a one-minute showcase of his killer instinct.) In eight months, Chandler went from 5-0 up-and-comer to newly-minted champion with a win over a top-ten ranked opponent. Is it okay if we use the “meteoric rise” cliché, just this once?

#3. RONDA ROUSEY (5-0, all wins by first-round armbar)

Notable victories: Sarah D’Alelio at Strikeforce Challengers: Gurgel vs. Duarte (sub R1), Julia Budd at Strikeforce Challengers: Britt vs. Sayers (sub R1), Miesha Tate at Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey (sub R1)

Next fight: Sarah Kaufman, late summer TBA

It seems that there are two paths to recognition as a female MMA fighter — be a fight-finishing beast like Cris Cyborg, or a feminine sex symbol like Gina Carano. In the relatively brief time we’ve been aware of her, Ronda Rousey has proven herself to be both. Add in a dose of Sonnen-esque trash-talk, and it’s easy to see why we’ve become infatuated with the bronze-medal-winning Olympic judoka. After dispatching her first four pro opponents in a combined time of two minutes and 18 seconds, Rousey fought/talked her way to a Strikeforce title shot against bantamweight champ Miesha Tate. Was it too much too soon? Not exactly. Rousey went home with a new belt and another shattered arm for her trophy case, proving once again that success is the best revenge.

#4: TRAVIS BROWNE (13-0-1, nine wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: James McSweeney at the TUF 11 Finale (TKO R1), Stefan Struve at UFC 130 (KO R1), Chad Griggs at UFC 145 (sub R1)

Next fight: Ben Rothwell @ UFC on Fox 4, 8/4/12

Travis Browne answers the age-old question: “What if Tim Sylvia was a fucking badass?” Browne has the imposing height and reach of the Maine-iac, but uses those natural gifts with a bloodthirsty aggression that has led to most of his opponents being laid out in the first five minutes. “Hapa” entered the UFC on a three-fight stretch where he knocked out Brian Campbell, Abe Wagner, and Aaron Brink in a combined 52 seconds (!), and did everybody a favor by squashing TUF 10 heel James McSweeney at his UFC debut in June 2010. Though a follow-up match against Cheick Kongo was a dirty mess of a fight that ended in a draw, Browne’s been golden ever since, most recently turning Chad Griggs from Strikeforce Cinderella-story to ex-heavyweight.

#5: CHRIS WEIDMAN (8-0, five wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: Alessio Sakara at UFC Live: Sanchez vs. Kampmann (UD), Tom Lawlor at UFC 139 (sub R1), Demian Maia at UFC on Fox 2: Evans vs. Davis (UD)

Next fight: Mark Munoz @ UFC on FUEL TV 4, 7/11/12

His nickname is “All American,” but you might as well call him Mr. Clutch. When Chris Weidman made his UFC debut against dangerous middleweight striker Alessio Sakara, he was just 4-0 at the time and coming in as an injury replacement on just two weeks’ notice. Despite the lack of preparation, Weidman’s top-shelf wrestling chops and unbreakable spirit carried him to a unanimous decision victory. Two masterful first-round submissions of Jesse Bongfeldt and Tom Lawlor followed, proving that the Serra-Longo product was the real deal. Weidman passed the biggest test of his career at UFC on FOX 2 in January, coming in once again as a last-minute injury replacement against Demian Maia. Though his conditioning began to fail him late in the fight, he didn’t stop pushing forward, and the judges rewarded him for the effort. With a little more seasoning — and a full training camp — Weidman will be a threat to any contender in the middleweight division.

#6: PAUL SASS (13-0; eight wins by “Sassangle,” three by heel-hook)

Notable victories: Jason Young at OMMAC 4 (sub R1), Michael Johnson at UFC Live: Cruz vs. Johnson (sub R1), Jacob Volkmann at UFC 146 (sub R1)

Next fight: TBA

Also known as one of the greatest one-trick ponies in MMA, Paul Sass kicked off his career with seven consecutive triangle-choke victories. Once he racked up ten professional wins in his native Liverpool, Sass was picked up by the UFC where he’s gone 3-0 so far, with all wins coming by first-round submission. His latest appearance at UFC 146 was by far his most impressive. Facing lightweight contender Jacob Volkmann — who had out-pointed five straight opponents since dropping from welterweight — Sass needed less than two minutes to tie up Volkmann on the mat and submit him with a triangle-armbar, thus saving us from another uncomfortable post-fight interview.

#7 BEN ASKREN (10-0, four wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: Dan Hornbuckle at Bellator 22 (UD), Nick Thompson at Bellator 40 (UD), Douglas Lima at Bellator 64 (UD)

Next fight: TBA

Maybe you don’t like his top-control-based style of fighting, and maybe his unapologetic attitude about it makes you like him even less. Doesn’t matter. Ben Askren’s wrestling expertise — honed during a legendary collegiate career — suggests that he’ll probably be Bellator’s welterweight champion as long as Bellator’s welterweight division exists. So while Dana White has called him “the most boring fighter in MMA history,” we feel obligated to quote Pat Miletich’s more respectful viewpoint: “The level of wrestling in mixed martial arts needs to improve in order to stop a guy like Ben Aksren from controlling them and putting them on their back.”

#8: STIPE MIOCIC (9-0, seven wins by KO/TKO)

Notable victories: Joey Beltran at UFC 136 (UD), Phil De Fries at UFC on FUEL: Sanchez vs. Ellenberger (KO R1), Shane Del Rosario at UFC 146 (TKO R1)

Next fight: TBA

Any fighter who pulls on a pair of Croatian flag shorts sets himself up for lofty comparisons. But this 29-year-old knockout machine (and firefighter/EMT) has exceeded our expectations, going 3-0 in the UFC since his debut last October. In his last fight, Miocic faced another undefeated heavyweight blue-chipper in Shane Del Rosario, and demonstrated the difference between “prospect” and “contender,” pulling off the gnarliest elbows-from-above TKO since Melendez vs. Kawajiri. The UFC’s heavyweight division is deeper than ever this year, and it’s because young lions like Miocic and Travis Browne are coming in to clear out all the dead weight.

#9: JIMY HETTES (10-0, nine wins by submission)

Notable victories: Jacob Kirwan at MASS: Inauguration (sub R2), Alex Caceres at UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle (sub R2), Nam Phan at UFC 141 (UD).

Next fight: TBA; he was supposed to face Steven Siler next month, but had to withdraw last week due to injury.

We don’t like to toss around the word “prodigy” unless it’s truly warranted, but honestly, Jimy Hettes is the Little Man Tate of grappling. At just 24 years old, the Pennsylvania native is already an expert, innovator, and educator of the ground game, and submitted his first nine MMA opponents with shocking ease. The only guy he wasn’t able to finish was Nam Phan in his last UFC appearance, and even then, the thrashing he gave Phan was so lopsided that two judges scored the fight 30-25. We can’t wait to see Jimy’s run in the UFC featherweight division continue once he’s healthy again.

#10: KHABIB NURMAGOMEDOV (17-0, 13 wins by stoppage)

Notable victories: Vadim Sandulitsky at ProFC Ukraine Cup 3 (sub R1), Arymarcel Santos at ProFC 36 (TKO R1), Kamal Shalorus at UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller (sub R3)

Next fight: Gleison Tibau at UFC 148, 7/7/12

There’s a good chance you may not be familiar with Khabib “The Eagle” Nurmagomedov, so here’s a brief primer: Nurmagomedov is a 23-year-old Russian lightweight who made his MMA debut a week before his 20th birthday, and spent three years running through local competition in Russia and the Ukraine before the UFC took notice. The 17-0 start to his career is nearly unprecedented, outside of Megumi Fujii. Judging from the above weigh-in photo, he might be a Ben Askren fan. And in his Octagon debut, he choked out former WEC standout Kamal Shalorus, which earned him a crack at longtime UFC vet Gleison Tibau in July. The former Combat Sambo Russian National Champion currently trains out of KDojo MMA in Fairfield, New Jersey. God help the CagePotato writers who have to type his name during liveblogs. (Not it, guys.)

Honorable Mentions: Nick Newell (7-0), Cole Konrad (9-0), Tyron Woodley (10-0), Jimi Manuwa (11-0)

– Ben Goldstein

Rumor-Buster: Ronda Rousey Didn’t Destroy Dominick Cruz’s Knee, Okay?


(The truth is, Ronda walked into the gym and Dominick’s knees buckled on their own. / Photo via @RondaRousey)

In light of the sly gamesmanship in that recent Urijah Faber video, UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz went on MMAFighting’s The MMA (After) Hour to explain how his knee injury came about, and that it wasn’t the result of being beat up by a girl. Here’s what he had to say, as transcribed by MMAMania:

“I was in training camp, I had just gotten done with TUF, and I usually get done about 11. I got to practice at 11:30 and I was sparring that day with kickboxing and takedowns and a guy got behind me in a scramble and he went for a trip, the trip, his hips went in on my knee and it just buckled my knee right then and there. I sat out the rest of the round, threw some ice on my knee, it was pretty painful. I was just kind of hoping for the best to be honest. I was hoping and praying that it was nothing crazy because it was a very, very loud pop. I kind of went into denial mode for the rest of that day saying ‘Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine.’ So I took some ibuprofen and that night I went in to get my normal workout in and I go to move around and get my shadowboxing going to warm up and me knee just pops right out. And I just knew right then and there that I needed to go get an MRI and get this checked out because me knee wasn’t stable and it kind of felt like I was walking on ice. I went in and got an MRI that day and got the bad results, the bad news…

Just to shut down some rumors that Faber thinks is funny to start and makes jokes about an Olympic bronze medalist and her taking out my knees. To me it’s not really funny, it’s just another way to know, for the world to know why me and Faber don’t get along. I wasn’t training with her at all. I brought her in to help my team on TUF…


(The truth is, Ronda walked into the gym and Dominick’s knees buckled on their own. / Photo via @RondaRousey)

In light of the sly gamesmanship in that recent Urijah Faber video, UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz went on MMAFighting’s The MMA (After) Hour to explain how his knee injury came about, and that it wasn’t the result of being beat up by a girl. Here’s what he had to say, as transcribed by MMAMania:

“I was in training camp, I had just gotten done with TUF, and I usually get done about 11. I got to practice at 11:30 and I was sparring that day with kickboxing and takedowns and a guy got behind me in a scramble and he went for a trip, the trip, his hips went in on my knee and it just buckled my knee right then and there. I sat out the rest of the round, threw some ice on my knee, it was pretty painful. I was just kind of hoping for the best to be honest. I was hoping and praying that it was nothing crazy because it was a very, very loud pop. I kind of went into denial mode for the rest of that day saying ‘Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine.’ So I took some ibuprofen and that night I went in to get my normal workout in and I go to move around and get my shadowboxing going to warm up and me knee just pops right out. And I just knew right then and there that I needed to go get an MRI and get this checked out because me knee wasn’t stable and it kind of felt like I was walking on ice. I went in and got an MRI that day and got the bad results, the bad news…

Just to shut down some rumors that Faber thinks is funny to start and makes jokes about an Olympic bronze medalist and her taking out my knees. To me it’s not really funny, it’s just another way to know, for the world to know why me and Faber don’t get along. I wasn’t training with her at all. I brought her in to help my team on TUF…

Cruz went on to say that he regretted having to pull out of his title fight at UFC 148, but still wished that Faber didn’t have to act like such a Faber:

“Well, you know, he did say that he doesn’t wish that injury on anybody, and I believe that. Nobody wants an injury like this to happen and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody either. To be perfectly honest, I somewhat have to apologize, not just to my fans out there, but to Faber because of this situation taking place. It’s frustrating for him as well so I can understand that. But at the same time, trying to make jokes about it and starting rumors about Ronda Rousey you know, busting my knees, that’s putting questions on her that are not necessary and putting questions on me that are not necessary, with this injury that’s already enough. So he is being very Faber-esque in the situation…I want to be training back in four to six months so that I can start to get back on the path of going in there and competing and winning.”

Urijah Faber‘s new opponent for the July 7th event has still yet to be confirmed.

Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Kaufman Title Fight Likely for August Strikeforce Event


(Unfortunately, there is still no word on the mysterious disappearance of Heidi Androl. Sad.)   

It looks like the speculations that arose in the aftermath of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Tate had some truth behind it, because it has been reported that newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey will defend her title against inaugural bantamweight champ Sarah Kaufman. Though no specific date or location has been mentioned, the Strikeforce brass are hoping to have these two throw down sometime in August, and probably in either Nevada or California, as the majority of Strikeforce’s recent cards have been held in those locations.

Rumors of a potential clash between Rousey and Kaufman first started following the pair’s respective wins over Miesha Tate and Alexis Davis on March 13th. “Rowdy” took the considerably easier path to victory, snatching up her fifth consecutive first round armbar in typically gruesome fashion over Tate, whereas Kaufman chose to slug it out with Davis for three rounds in what was one of the most exciting brawls of the year, bar none, and brought home a majority decision victory.

Although Kaufman has a considerable experience and striking advantage over Rousey, her lone loss in sixteen fights has come by way of armbar (to Marloes Coenen in their October 2010 title fight), so expect her to be a considerable underdog coming into this one. As with any fight against Rousey, Kaufman’s only chance will lie in her ability to sprawl-and-brawl with the Olympic judoka, or God forbid take her out of the first round. Then again, we hear Rousey is taking out champions in the men’s division nowadays, so perhaps Kaufman is already dead in the water.

Full fight videos of Kaufman/Davis and Rousey/Tate await you after the jump. 


(Unfortunately, there is still no word on the mysterious disappearance of Heidi Androl. Sad.)   

It looks like the speculations that arose in the aftermath of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Tate had some truth behind it, because it has been reported that newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey will defend her title against inaugural bantamweight champ Sarah Kaufman. Though no specific date or location has been mentioned, the Strikeforce brass are hoping to have these two throw down sometime in August, and probably in either Nevada or California, as the majority of Strikeforce’s recent cards have been held in those locations.

Rumors of a potential clash between Rousey and Kaufman first started following the pair’s respective wins over Miesha Tate and Alexis Davis on March 13th. “Rowdy” took the considerably easier path to victory, snatching up her fifth consecutive first round armbar in typically gruesome fashion over Tate, whereas Kaufman chose to slug it out with Davis for three rounds in what was one of the most exciting brawls of the year, bar none, and brought home a majority decision victory.

Although Kaufman has a considerable experience and striking advantage over Rousey, her lone loss in sixteen fights has come by way of armbar (to Marloes Coenen in their October 2010 title fight), so expect her to be a considerable underdog coming into this one. As with any fight against Rousey, Kaufman’s only chance will lie in her ability to sprawl-and-brawl with the Olympic judoka, or God forbid take her out of the first round. Then again, we hear Rousey is taking out champions in the men’s division nowadays, so perhaps Kaufman is already dead in the water.

In either case, check out both ladies most recent fights below.

Kaufman vs. Davis

Rousey vs. Tate 

Who do you got, Potato Nation, or rather, how long do you think Kaufman will last?

-J. Jones

Chael Sonnen ‘Voice of Reason’ Caption Contest: The Winners!


(“These voices, these voices, I hear them, and when they talk I follow, I follow, I follow…”)

Nothing like a good caption contest to remind us what a funny bunch of sons-of-bitches y’all are. After sifting through nearly 200 submissions, we’ve selected the two winners who will be receiving copies of Chael Sonnen‘s new life-manual, The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment a month before it goes on sale to the general public. But first, some runners-up…

LOKI: Chael struggled to hold back the guilt in his face; he never realized that wishing cancer on Ed Soares would actually work.

tdpwent: Chael and random guy #2 show what a certain brazilian BJJ expert will be doing every night after his failed pick-up attempt.

mcw89138: Chael and Ronda drove 2,000 miles to an undisclosed Starbucks to see for themselves the Internet freak and phenomenon known as “perfect circle head” guy.

BigBalluh: The new season of Two and a Half Men is gonna suck.

Kid Clam Curtains: Not pictured: The knee-high rubber boots they’re wearing for all the bullshit.


(“These voices, these voices, I hear them, and when they talk I follow, I follow, I follow…”)

Nothing like a good caption contest to remind us what a funny bunch of sons-of-bitches y’all are. After sifting through nearly 200 submissions, we’ve selected the two winners who will be receiving copies of Chael Sonnen‘s new life-manual, The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment a month before it goes on sale to the general public. But first, some runners-up…

LOKI: Chael struggled to hold back the guilt in his face; he never realized that wishing cancer on Ed Soares would actually work.

tdpwent: Chael and random guy #2 show what a certain brazilian BJJ expert will be doing every night after his failed pick-up attempt.

mcw89138: Chael and Ronda drove 2,000 miles to an undisclosed Starbucks to see for themselves the Internet freak and phenomenon known as “perfect circle head” guy.

BigBalluh: The new season of Two and a Half Men is gonna suck.

Kid Clam Curtains: Not pictured: The knee-high rubber boots they’re wearing for all the bullshit.

kochersam: Ronda and Chael both pose with the man-creature they created using the excess testosterone found in their bodies.

Slack Brian: In what parallel universe can you punch a man 300 times, he holds up a fist like a douche for eight seconds and Rousey lets him graze her boob?!

HabitualLineStepper: Chael becomes the latest MMA fighter to sign on to do a low-budget film with C-list actors. Here he poses with his co-stars Julia Stiles and a grown-up Bud from Married with Children.

Goat: This is me. I’m not joking. It’s me. I made that thread. I remember that day clearly. I was sitting in Starbucks, chilling the fuck out, listening to some Megaman 2 music, when I looked up, and there he was – Chael fuckin’ Sonnen. Eventually, I summed up the courage to ask him, and I said “You’re Chael Sonnen, the middle-weight champion of the world?” And he nodded. And it was bliss. I was so drunken with Chael’s uber-aura that I didn’t notice the beautiful and dangerous Ronda Rousey right next to him. We got some photos, had some laughs, and I went back to listening to my rad-ass 8-Bit music. Anyways – it was a great moment! I’m glad people are having fun with it.
PS: CP nation, my name’s not Brad.
PPS: No threesome occurred.
PPPS: Please give me a copy of Chael’s awesome DVD [Ed. note: It’s a book, Brad.]
Here is some more evidence that I am the man in the photo.

And now, the winners…

PorkandBeans: What Stephen Hawking looked like prior to telling Chael and Ronda they weren’t actually the center of the universe.

c2844: Wow. Chael Sonnen and Ronda Rousey in the same photo…and nobody is in an armbar? Amazing!

So, Pork and C-numbers, please send your real names and addresses to [email protected], and we’ll get those books sent out to you next week. Thanks to everybody who played, and to Victory Belt for hooking us up. Now go buy Chael’s book!

Caption Contest: Win an Advance Copy of Chael Sonnen’s New Book ‘The Voice of Reason’!

Last month, we warned you that Chael Sonnen will soon be dominating your local bookstore, having already conquered the worlds of professional fighting, politics, and athletic commission hearings. His new book is called The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment, and will be available to the general public on May 15th. Amazon.com describes the content in these humble terms:

Sonnen’s commentary and tales of heroic adventure will initiate you into the world of superhuman greatness. Allow him to carry you like a frail damsel through the world of professional mixed martial arts as he cuts weight, deals with moronic cornermen, expresses his disdain for focus mitts and punching in general, gets his face rearranged, and finds support and encouragement from fans. Permit him to cleanse your mind’s palate and teach you the truth about history, politics, endangered species, cinema, terrorists, music, particle accelerators, and his plans for creating a Chaelocracy, which translates as “a Better Earth.” Shower him with praise as he takes you into his manly mitts like a lump of clay and reshapes you in his own likeness. 

Like all men of myth and legend, Sonnen strives for the betterment of the human race. Prometheus brought us fire; Dana White brought us the modern-day gladiator; and Chael P. Sonnen now brings us the step-by-step guide to being a great human being and patriot…There is no better day to stop being you and start trying to be Chael P. Sonnen.

So…who wants to get a copy a month before it comes out?

Last month, we warned you that Chael Sonnen will soon be dominating your local bookstore, having already conquered the worlds of professional fighting, politics, and athletic commission hearings. His new book is called The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment, and will be available to the general public on May 15th. Amazon.com describes the content in these humble terms:

Sonnen’s commentary and tales of heroic adventure will initiate you into the world of superhuman greatness. Allow him to carry you like a frail damsel through the world of professional mixed martial arts as he cuts weight, deals with moronic cornermen, expresses his disdain for focus mitts and punching in general, gets his face rearranged, and finds support and encouragement from fans. Permit him to cleanse your mind’s palate and teach you the truth about history, politics, endangered species, cinema, terrorists, music, particle accelerators, and his plans for creating a Chaelocracy, which translates as “a Better Earth.” Shower him with praise as he takes you into his manly mitts like a lump of clay and reshapes you in his own likeness. 

Like all men of myth and legend, Sonnen strives for the betterment of the human race. Prometheus brought us fire; Dana White brought us the modern-day gladiator; and Chael P. Sonnen now brings us the step-by-step guide to being a great human being and patriot…There is no better day to stop being you and start trying to be Chael P. Sonnen.

So…who wants to get a copy a month before it comes out?

Check out the photo below of Chael and MMA alpha-female Ronda Rousey, posing with a random Sherdogger at Starbucks. Post a clever caption to the photo in the comments section by tomorrow night at midnight PT; we’ll post the two best ones on Friday, and the winners will each receive an advance copy of The Voice of Reason. Feel free to enter as many times as you want. Sound good? Now make Papa Chael proud and claim what’s yours!

Thanks to Victory Belt for making this contest possible. Buy a copy of ‘The Voice of Reason’ right here for just $14.85.

Renato Laranja Tries to Spit Game at Ronda Rousey, Crashes and Burns in Humiliating Fashion [VIDEO]

(Props: twistereddie)

– Singing an R. Kelly love-jam in a thick Portuguese accent while your crush is getting out of the shower? EHHHHH!

– Bragging about your movie/pilot Return of the Death-Knuckle, then humbly following it up with “but you don’t wanna get bored with how much money I’m gonna make, that stuffs, how much fame gonna have for me and for the ladies in my life”? NOOOOOOOOO!

– Desperately offering to give her your “code for MySpace’ee” as she walks away, then beating your head against a wall? Fail upon fail.

Keep your head up, Laranja. There’s other fish in the sea…


(Props: twistereddie)

– Singing an R. Kelly love-jam in a thick Portuguese accent while your crush is getting out of the shower? EHHHHH!

– Bragging about your movie/pilot Return of the Death-Knuckle, then humbly following it up with “but you don’t wanna get bored with how much money I’m gonna make, that stuffs, how much fame gonna have for me and for the ladies in my life”? NOOOOOOOOO!

– Desperately offering to give her your “code for MySpace’ee” as she walks away, then beating your head against a wall? Fail upon fail.

Keep your head up, Laranja. There’s other fish in the sea…