Tag: The Ultimate Fighter

‘TUF 14? Episode 5 Recap: Well, You Should Have Broken That Sh*t


(The end of Dustin Neace vs. Akira Corassani…OR WAS IT?? Gif props: IronForgesIron)

After Dustin Pague’s victory last week — which brought Team Mayhem up 4-0 on the scorecard, FYI — Dustin asks his team if they could do a quick “Glory to God” cheer, which Jason Miller actually participates in, even though he’s a die-hard atheist who usually loves to mess with religious people. That just shows what kind of coach Miller is. He let his fighter have his moment, and he didn’t even make Pague participate in a “Glory to Science” cheer afterwards.

As the fighters return to their prep-rooms, Diego Brandao is in Murderous Brazilian Mode (what else is new), and starts to yell at Steve Siler for some reason. “I’m gonna take you head off, bidge!”, etc. Michael Bisping explains that he’s unstable and just wants to fight. Fortunately, he’s in a welcoming environment for that sort of thing.

Mayhem gives Dustin Neace a cowboy hat with a B on it, which stands for “Beast,” his nickname. Josh Ferguson — previously known as “the dude in the cowboy hat” — lays down accusations of swagger-jackin’. (“Come on man, I got one thing going for me here, and you gotta rip it off?”) Oddly enough, Ferguson’s hat also has a ‘B’ on it, even though his nickname doesn’t start with that letter. Unless one of you knows its actual significance, I’m just going to assume it stands for “bumpkin.”


(The end of Dustin Neace vs. Akira Corassani…OR WAS IT?? Gif props: IronForgesIron)

After Dustin Pague’s victory last week — which brought Team Mayhem up 4-0 on the scorecard, FYI — Dustin asks his team if they could do a quick “Glory to God” cheer, which Jason Miller actually participates in, even though he’s a die-hard atheist who usually loves to mess with religious people. That just shows what kind of coach Miller is. He let his fighter have his moment, and he didn’t even make Pague participate in a “Glory to Science” cheer afterwards.

As the fighters return to their prep-rooms, Diego Brandao is in Murderous Brazilian Mode (what else is new), and starts to yell at Steve Siler for some reason. “I’m gonna take you head off, bidge!”, etc. Michael Bisping explains that he’s unstable and just wants to fight. Fortunately, he’s in a welcoming environment for that sort of thing.

Mayhem gives Dustin Neace a cowboy hat with a B on it, which stands for “Beast,” his nickname. Josh Ferguson — previously known as “the dude in the cowboy hat” — lays down accusations of swagger-jackin’. (“Come on man, I got one thing going for me here, and you gotta rip it off?”) Oddly enough, Ferguson’s hat also has a ‘B’ on it, even though his nickname doesn’t start with that letter. Unless one of you knows its actual significance, I’m just going to assume it stands for “bumpkin.”

Siler tells Mayhem that John Dodson has been the mole on their team, feeding the fight selections in advance to Team Bisping. Mayhem decides to use it to his advantage. The plan is to make Team Bisping think that he’s picking Siler vs. Brandao next, when he’ll really be picking another house-rivalry, Neace vs. Akira Corassani. “Akira’s gonna be fat, Dustin’s gonna be in shape, and Diego’s gonna be really pissed,” Miller explains.

Dodson takes the bait when he sees Siler act like he’s trying to cut weight for a fight. Meanwhile, Neace is cutting in secret, like a teenaged daughter of divorcing parents. Wow. I kind of feel bad for that one. Anyway, the plan works, and Team Bisping starts getting Diego ready for war.

Under the cover of darkness, Team Blue steals Neace’s cowboy hat in retaliation for his swagger-jackin’. Neace can’t find it later, assumes Akira is fucking with him again — even though it wasn’t Akira’s idea — and he’s like a race car in the red. He loads up a garbage bag full of garbage, and…I’m not sure what he intends to do with it. But back at the gym, he scatters Team Bisping’s gear all over their room, so there.

When he discovers the mess, Bisping thinks it was a team prank that Mayhem put his guys up to, and starts making wild, derogatory assumptions about the cleanliness of Miller’s house. Neace and Akira shout at each other for a while. Akira wants to fight him right then, bare-knuckle, in the garden (?). Neace responds in his usual style: “We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon.”

And yeah, they’re still running that Tiger Schulmann’s MMA commercial where Louis Gaudinot claims to be ranked #11 in the world. I think he meant “on this particular reality show.”

The fight selections are chaotic. Neace and Akira are at DEFCON 1, jawing at each other during the lineup. They’re so angry that they start ripping off famous Mike Tyson quotes. Dustin Neace (Miller’s #3 featherweight) vs. Akira Corassani (Bisping’s #2 featherweight) is made official for the next match. Akira immediately walks up on Neace and gives him some forehead to forehead contact. Neace reacts by shooting on him. The coaches have to jump in to separate the fighters, which leads to some shoving and shouting between Miller and Bisping.

John Dodson: “All this happened ‘cuz of me. Hey, shit happens.”

After the melee, the teams compose themselves and Miller announces next week’s fight, even though he hasn’t won this week’s fight yet. Maybe Bisping is just too pissed to care. But really, no matter who wins, it’s pretty much assumed that Steve Siler (Miller’s #4 featherweight) would be fighting Diego Brandao (Bisping’s #1 featherweight) anyway. And now it’s official. Brandao does wind up getting screwed a bit by Mayhem’s trickery; he already cut to 151 pounds, and now he has to wait a week to fight.

Mayhem confronts Dodson and explains that he caused a lot of issues with the team. And that’s pretty much it. There really aren’t any consequences, though you wonder how the rest of the team is going to treat him after this. And I mean his actual team, not Team Death Leprechaun.

Akira’s takedown offense is a little bit off, so Tiki Ghosn works with him on getting up off the mat. Good screen-time, Tiki!

Bisping no-shows the weigh-ins, just like he no-showed the fight-selections in last week’s episode. His fighters look pretty bummed about it. But hey, at least he hasn’t missed one of their fights yet. He finally shows up, lifting a big paper bag as explanation. It is never explained what’s inside the paper bag.

After the weigh-ins, the big ‘M’ that denotes Mayhem’s parking space is placed in the handicapped spot of the gym’s parking lot. Just wait, that will become very important later.

Neace says he won’t tap to a submission, but he might hold a choke a little longer. Akira wasn’t impressed with Neace’s double-leg at the fight-announcement. And here we go…

Round 1: Akira lands first with a leg kick, a hook, and a body kick. A spinning back kick misses, and Bisping scolds Akira for trying the fancy stuff. Neace scores with a leg kick, and another, but Akira returns some punches. Neace stalking. He whiffs a backfist and some follow-up punches, but lands a counter when Akira swings on an overhand right. Neace’s reverse kick is caught, and Akira dumps him on the mat. Akira enters his guard and throws down a big elbow. Neace tries to lock him down, but Akira sneaks in another nice punch. Neace looking for an arm. More punches from Akira. Neace grabs a heel hook and cranks it. Akira taps — I mean, very clearly, he taps — but Herb Dean doesn’t see it. So when Neace eases up, thinking the fight is over, Akira keeps fighting, and escapes to his feet. Team Miller shouts “HE TAPPED” in unison, but it’s too late now. Neace scores a takedown. Akira gets to his feet and lands a hook at the end.

Round 2: They trade hooks. Akira is on the move, attacking forward with punches, then clinching against fence. A short elbow from Akira, followed by some knees to Dustin’s legs. They separate. Both guys miss backfists. (Seriously guys, it’s enough already with that shit.) Neace goes to the body with a punch and a kick. Akira drops Neace with a punch, and throws down big shots at Neace against the fence. Akira stays on top, punching down, smothering Neace. Neace looks for a triangle, but can’t get it. He desperately tries to make something happen from his back in the round’s closing seconds, but Akira stays out of danger, keeps busy, and keeps his position.

Before the decision is even read, Akira goes over to Neace’s stool and basically does this to him. There’s another near-scuffle, and Miller (I think?) shoots water at Bisping. Keith Kizer has to step in and be an adult, telling Akira to get his shit together unless he wants to be suspended and kicked off the show. Akira Corassani def. Dustin Neace via majority decision, which implies that one judge gave the first round to Dustin on the basis of, you know, ending the fight.

And so, Akira scores the first win for Team Bisping, in the most bullshit way possible. But that’s life. Sometimes you win, sometimes a tow truck comes to drag your Mustang out of the handicapped spot.

Chris Leben: The CagePotato Retrospective Interview

Chris Leben UFC interview
(“I want people to look at me and say, ‘Wow, this is where he started and look where he ended up.'” Photo props: MMA Weekly)

By Ben Goldstein

Over the last six years, we’ve watched Chris Leben evolve from The Ultimate Fighter‘s original wild-ass brawler, to a multi-faceted contender who has the tools to defeat virtually any middleweight opponent on any given night. In fact, two of Leben’s last three fights have resulted in the greatest victories of his entire career — his epic UFC 116 Fight of the Night against Yoshihiro Akiyama, and his stunning 27-second knockout of Wanderlei Silva at UFC 132.

On November 5th, Leben will headline UFC 138 in Birmingham, England, against Mark Munoz, in a meeting that could put one of them on the short-list for a title shot. We spent some time on the phone with the Crippler last week and discussed all the notable battles in his life that have led him to where he is today, facing yet another massive opportunity. Enjoy, and check out our previous Retrospective Interviews right here.

THE ORIGIN STORY

(Matt Lindland, overdressed as usual.)

CHRIS LEBEN: “I think I was in the fourth grade when I got into my first fight. I can’t remember what it was over — something on the playground. But that was my first real, non-wrestling match, hitting-each-other-in-the-face kind of fight. And all the other kids just stood around and watched. I didn’t get into fights a lot, but I definitely had some good ones, like all kids that are a little more on the wild side.

I did a little wrestling in grade school, and something called Christian Karate that I did in like third grade. Then I started boxing in eighth grade and I actually took that really seriously.

Even when I was in junior high, my plan was always to fight in the UFC. I joined Team Quest right after I turned 21. You have to remember that at 185 pounds, I was training with Matt Lindland, Evan Tanner, Chael Sonnen, Ed Herman — we were all in the same room, every day. And every day I walked into the gym, my first coach Robert Follis would say, ‘Good morning Chris, how are you doing?’ And I’d say, ‘Did you get me a fight yet? Did you get me a fight yet?’ I’d never say, ‘Good morning, how are you,’ it was always ‘Did you get me a fight yet?’ I believe it was about six months until I had my first amateur fight.”

Chris Leben UFC interview
(“I want people to look at me and say, ‘Wow, this is where he started and look where he ended up.’” Photo props: MMA Weekly)

By Ben Goldstein

Over the last six years, we’ve watched Chris Leben evolve from The Ultimate Fighter‘s original wild-ass brawler, to a multi-faceted contender who has the tools to defeat virtually any middleweight opponent on any given night. In fact, two of Leben’s last three fights have resulted in the greatest victories of his entire career — his epic UFC 116 Fight of the Night against Yoshihiro Akiyama, and his stunning 27-second knockout of Wanderlei Silva at UFC 132.

On November 5th, Leben will headline UFC 138 in Birmingham, England, against Mark Munoz, in a meeting that could put one of them on the short-list for a title shot. We spent some time on the phone with the Crippler last week and discussed all the notable battles in his life that have led him to where he is today, facing yet another massive opportunity. Enjoy, and check out our previous Retrospective Interviews right here.

THE ORIGIN STORY

(Matt Lindland, overdressed as usual.)

CHRIS LEBEN: “I think I was in the fourth grade when I got into my first fight. I can’t remember what it was over — something on the playground. But that was my first real, non-wrestling match, hitting-each-other-in-the-face kind of fight. And all the other kids just stood around and watched. I didn’t get into fights a lot, but I definitely had some good ones, like all kids that are a little more on the wild side.

I did a little wrestling in grade school, and something called Christian Karate that I did in like third grade. Then I started boxing in eighth grade and I actually took that really seriously.

Even when I was in junior high, my plan was always to fight in the UFC. I joined Team Quest right after I turned 21. You have to remember that at 185 pounds, I was training with Matt Lindland, Evan Tanner, Chael Sonnen, Ed Herman — we were all in the same room, every day. And every day I walked into the gym, my first coach Robert Follis would say, ‘Good morning Chris, how are you doing?’ And I’d say, ‘Did you get me a fight yet? Did you get me a fight yet?’ I’d never say, ‘Good morning, how are you,’ it was always ‘Did you get me a fight yet?’ I believe it was about six months until I had my first amateur fight.”

CHRIS LEBEN vs. MIKE SWICK
WEC 9, 1/16/04
Result: Leben wins via second-round knockout and becomes the first WEC middleweight champion

“That was the first time I met Dana White. He was actually sitting in the front row for that fight, so I went up and talked to him, which was a pretty big deal for me. At that point, I think The Ultimate Fighter probably wasn’t much more than a pipe dream for the Fertittas. But me and Dana talked about fighting Sakurai in PRIDE because he was a little big after his knee injury back then, and possibly getting into the UFC sometime.”

THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER 1
January-April 2005

“I kind of look at it like boot camp: You don’t necessarily enjoy it while you’re there, but once it’s done you’re glad you did it. And don’t get me wrong, I had some great times on the show, some fun moments, and I learned a lot — both about fighting and myself — but if they said, ‘Hey Chris, we want you be a competitor on The Ultimate Fighter right now,’ would I jump at that opportunity? To be a coach, yeah, I’d jump at that. But to be a competitor and live in that house with all those other guys, at my age, where I am now in my life? Absolutely fucking not.

The top-tier of the martial arts world is a small world, and we’re the original [cast], so I feel camaraderie with those guys. Every time I see Stephan Bonnar we’re always telling war stories.”

On the previous rumors of Chris Leben being booked to face his TUF nemesis Josh Koscheck: “It’s funny, the guys at my gym know more about what’s going on in the sport from me. Half the time I hear about who I’m fighting from some random fight-school member that read it on a blog somewhere. The Internet’s not really my favorite thing, but I heard some people at my gym saw that idea being kicked around on forums, and I loved it, but the opportunity never came to me. I’d love to take that fight.”

On the next page: An ill-fated run-in with the Spider, going zombie-mode against Terry Martin, and the fight he’d rather not discuss.

After First UFC Win in Rematch With Leonard Garcia, Nam Phan Over Sting of First Fight

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After 10 months of answering questions about Leonard Garcia, at least Nam Phan finally can change his response.

Phan first fought Garcia last December at the TUF 12 Finale in Las Vegas, a Fight of the Night-winning slugfest that saw him come out on the short end of a split decision. Though Phan outstruck Garcia in every round, according to Fight Metric, two judges gave Garcia two rounds. The third agreed with most of the fans, as well as the vast majority of MMA media – and gave all three rounds to Phan.

After UFC 136 a week ago in Houston, though, Phan finally got a little closure – and his first UFC victory – with a unanimous decision in another slugfest with Garcia in the rematch. He hopes it’s the one people will ask him about now.

“(The first loss) stung pretty bad,” Phan told host Ariel Helwani on Monday’s edition of “The MMA Hour.” “People were telling me, ‘You got robbed!’ over and over again, reminding me. I tried not to dwell on it, but it took awhile.”

In the rematch, Phan (17-9, 1-2 UFC) was mostly dominant – leaving little doubt in the first two rounds. Though Garcia seemed to hurt him in the third and had him backing up several times, Phan still set a UFC record for most significant strikes landed in a fight, according to FightMetric’s tabulations.

Nam’s 174 significant strikes landed in the 29-28 unanimous decision win passed Chris Lytle in his win over Matt Serra at UFC 119. Phan credited his boxing background, including four professional fights, for his success in the standup game.

“It isn’t always about the power – it’s about the high punch count,” Phan said. “My coach said ‘You have to compete in boxing to get good at striking.’ I started training with him in 2003, and started competing in amateur boxing, Golden Gloves, and then I went to compete in professional boxing. I don’t have a passion for boxing. I don’t love it like I love mixed martial arts. I only did boxing to improve my mixed martial arts skills.”

After 23 pro MMA fights, including a loss in the WEC and a pair of losses in Strikeforce, Phan got a shot at the UFC on “The Ultimate Fighter.” And though he didn’t make the finals, he still got a crack at the promotion. And now he has a win after starting with a pair of losses.

Though the first loss to Garcia had the MMA world screaming robbery, including UFC president Dana White, Phan still knew a third straight loss could be problematic going into the Garcia rematch. But he said he tried to put that out of his mind.

“I wasn’t even thinking about a two-fight losing streak or that I might get cut,” Phan said. “I was going in there to have fun and to make this my best performance ever. This could be my last pitch, and if I strike out I’m going home. So I’ve gotta hit this ball out of the ballpark, man. I can’t take the UFC for granted and (I have to) realize I could get cut. I’ve got to know I’m expendable.”

Now that Phan can breathe a small sigh of relief that he will be sticking around in the UFC for a while, he can start thinking about what might be next for him.

After two Fight of the Night wins in his first three fights, he knows the kind of opponent he’s looking for next.

“Whoever it is, I want that person to put (on) a good fight with me.”

 

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Filed under: ,

After 10 months of answering questions about Leonard Garcia, at least Nam Phan finally can change his response.

Phan first fought Garcia last December at the TUF 12 Finale in Las Vegas, a Fight of the Night-winning slugfest that saw him come out on the short end of a split decision. Though Phan outstruck Garcia in every round, according to Fight Metric, two judges gave Garcia two rounds. The third agreed with most of the fans, as well as the vast majority of MMA media – and gave all three rounds to Phan.

After UFC 136 a week ago in Houston, though, Phan finally got a little closure – and his first UFC victory – with a unanimous decision in another slugfest with Garcia in the rematch. He hopes it’s the one people will ask him about now.

“(The first loss) stung pretty bad,” Phan told host Ariel Helwani on Monday’s edition of “The MMA Hour.” “People were telling me, ‘You got robbed!’ over and over again, reminding me. I tried not to dwell on it, but it took awhile.”

In the rematch, Phan (17-9, 1-2 UFC) was mostly dominant – leaving little doubt in the first two rounds. Though Garcia seemed to hurt him in the third and had him backing up several times, Phan still set a UFC record for most significant strikes landed in a fight, according to FightMetric’s tabulations.

Nam’s 174 significant strikes landed in the 29-28 unanimous decision win passed Chris Lytle in his win over Matt Serra at UFC 119. Phan credited his boxing background, including four professional fights, for his success in the standup game.

“It isn’t always about the power – it’s about the high punch count,” Phan said. “My coach said ‘You have to compete in boxing to get good at striking.’ I started training with him in 2003, and started competing in amateur boxing, Golden Gloves, and then I went to compete in professional boxing. I don’t have a passion for boxing. I don’t love it like I love mixed martial arts. I only did boxing to improve my mixed martial arts skills.”

After 23 pro MMA fights, including a loss in the WEC and a pair of losses in Strikeforce, Phan got a shot at the UFC on “The Ultimate Fighter.” And though he didn’t make the finals, he still got a crack at the promotion. And now he has a win after starting with a pair of losses.

Though the first loss to Garcia had the MMA world screaming robbery, including UFC president Dana White, Phan still knew a third straight loss could be problematic going into the Garcia rematch. But he said he tried to put that out of his mind.

“I wasn’t even thinking about a two-fight losing streak or that I might get cut,” Phan said. “I was going in there to have fun and to make this my best performance ever. This could be my last pitch, and if I strike out I’m going home. So I’ve gotta hit this ball out of the ballpark, man. I can’t take the UFC for granted and (I have to) realize I could get cut. I’ve got to know I’m expendable.”

Now that Phan can breathe a small sigh of relief that he will be sticking around in the UFC for a while, he can start thinking about what might be next for him.

After two Fight of the Night wins in his first three fights, he knows the kind of opponent he’s looking for next.

“Whoever it is, I want that person to put (on) a good fight with me.”

 

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‘TUF 14? Episode 2 Recap: Nervous Nancy


(That’s gangsta. For more gifs from episode 2, check out IronForgesIron.)

As the 16 fighters who survived the elimination round move into the TUF house, some of them hump each other excitedly, while others bury their anxiety in barbecue chicken. Here’s Louis Gaudinot, the green-haired guy: “Dana said the house is 15,000 square feet, but it’ll feel really small; it’s gonna feel like a closet. And I’m already feeling that.” Really? Already? Bro, you haven’t even dropped your bags yet.

After huddling with their assistants to analyze the fighters, coaches Bisping and Mayhem arrive for team selections. The coin-flip lands in Bisping’s favor after a dramatic roll across the room. The Count decides to take first fighter-selection rather than first fight-pick. As we all know, that’s a strategic blunder on par with getting involved in a land war in Asia. The teams break down like this…

Bantanweights
Team Bisping: Louis Gaudinot, TJ Dillashaw, John Albert, Josh Ferguson
Team Miller: John Dodson, Johnny Bedford, Dustin Pague, Roland Delorme


(That’s gangsta. For more gifs from episode 2, check out IronForgesIron.)

As the 16 fighters who survived the elimination round move into the TUF house, some of them hump each other excitedly, while others bury their anxiety in barbecue chicken. Here’s Louis Gaudinot, the green-haired guy: “Dana said the house is 15,000 square feet, but it’ll feel really small; it’s gonna feel like a closet. And I’m already feeling that.” Really? Already? Bro, you haven’t even dropped your bags yet.

After huddling with their assistants to analyze the fighters, coaches Bisping and Mayhem arrive for team selections. The coin-flip lands in Bisping’s favor after a dramatic roll across the room. The Count decides to take first fighter-selection rather than first fight-pick. As we all know, that’s a strategic blunder on par with getting involved in a land war in Asia. The teams break down like this…

Bantanweights
Team Bisping: Louis Gaudinot, TJ Dillashaw, John Albert, Josh Ferguson
Team Miller: John Dodson, Johnny Bedford, Dustin Pague, Roland Delorme

Featherweights
Team Bisping: Diego Brandao, Akira Corassani, Marcus Brimage, Stephen Bass
Team Miller: Dennis Bermudez, Bryan Caraway, Dustin Neace, Steven Siler

Bisping says he got his top four choices for the featherweight selections. “If [Miller] had an ounce of intelligence he’d be picking some of those guys, but he didn’t,” Bisping says. When Miller comments that some of Bisping’s fighters actually look happy to be on his team, Bisping reminds the home viewers that “I’ve won 17 fights in the UFC, he’s a Strikeforce reject.” Bisping has actually won 11 fights in the UFC, 13 if you count his TUF 3 exhibition matches. But who’s counting? He clearly isn’t.

The guys have their first workouts with their new teams. Steven “Last Pick” Siler gets his nose bloodied and has to have his entire face taped up. Afterwards, Mayhem and Ryan Parsons bring their fighters some space-age compression suits, which are supposed to aid recovery, I guess. Team Mayhem appreciates that their coaches seem to be looking out for them.

It’s time for the first fight announcement, and Miller selects Bryan Caraway (his #2 featherweight) vs. Marcus Brimage (Bisping’s #3). It’s pretty obvious what’s going on here. Caraway had perhaps the least-impressive victory in the elimination round, but he’s an adept wrestler, and could exploit Brimage’s lack of expertise on the ground. Mayhem needs to keep control of the fight selections by any means necessary.

“Quinton Jackson and Dragon Ball Z are the reason I do MMA,” Brimage explains. [Ed. note: Nick Diaz and Thundercats are the reason I write about MMA.] Sitting at 157 pounds two days before the fight, Brimage is a little nervous about making the weight, but Bisping and his crew guide Marcus through the sweat-suit/salt bath/blanket pile process, and it all works out.

Bryan Caraway is a bit of a head case, which he’s quite aware of. He’s been to a sports psychologist to work on “positive self-talk” and not worrying about bad things that have never happened. He feels like throwing up before he fights. He was called “Nervous Nancy” on his last team. He’s working on not letting fear overcome him. And this is Miesha Tate’s boyfriend?

Prank #1: Team Mayhem rolls all the training tires into Team Bisping’s prep-room, and arranges it so that a tire is actually blocking the door from being opened. Bisping has to kick his own door open to get inside. And that’s about it. Look, Mayhem’s just getting warmed up, okay?

After weigh-ins, Brimage and Caraway face off, while Team Bisping’s fighters sing the following chant: “Darkness gonna knock you out….Big mistake to call him out…Caraway’s a fucking bitch…Leave his body in a ditch…Darkness, Darkness, Darkness…”

Miller laughs it off (“that was the cutest little show tune I’ve ever heard”), but Caraway’s upset that they attacked him personally. And now they’ve awoken a sleeping, nervous giant.

“This is MMA, and people like to see ass-whuppins handed out,” Brimage explains before the fight. “And that’s what I do, hand out ass-whuppins.” He sees the fear in Caraway’s eyes as they enter the cage. Will it matter that Caraway has an eight-inch reach advantage, four inches in height, and tons more professional experience? Time to find out…

Round 1: Brimage starts off throwing jabs, looking for his distance. But before he can get comfortable, Caraway shoots and scores a quick takedown. Caraway with some punches against the cage. Brimage returns a couple off his back. Caraway looks to pass guard and winds up taking Brimage’s back and flattening him out. Brimage rolls, Caraway hangs on, looking for the choke. He locks in a body triangle. Brimage defending the choke the best he can. By way of encouragement, Miller shouts to Caraway, “He’s having Bisping coaching on grappling right now.” LOL. Caraway getting his hands across the neck, but Brimage keeps pulling them off. Brimage’s mouthguard falls out. Caraway almost sinks the choke, but Brimage manages to defend again. Brimage explodes out and rolls to his knees. Caraway is like glue, sticking on his back and sneaking in punches. There’s the horn, and Caraway takes the round with ease.

Round 2: Caraway lands a counterpunch as Brimage comes in attacking. Brimage fires a superman punch but misses. They swing punches then get into a scramble, and Caraway deposits Brimage on the mat again. “Say good night-night, Darkness!” Miller shouts. Caraway looks for the choke again but Brimage escapes and they’re standing again. Brimage lands a stiff knee to the head as Caraway shoots. Brimage stuffs another takedown, but Caraway keeps at it until he brings Brimage to the mat. Brimage with an acrobatic somersault escape. He gets to his feet and Caraway chills on his back for a few seconds, taking a breather. Brimage doesn’t want to return to the mat, so he kicks Caraway’s legs a couple times then lets him up. Brimage whiffs a head kick and Caraway takes him down again. Once again, Caraway takes Marcus’s back and flattens him out. Finally, he sinks the choke and Brimage taps.

Bryan Caraway def. Marcus Brimage via submission (rear-naked choke), round 2, and advances to the featherweight semi-finals.

Brimage managed to swell up Caraway’s eye with punches from his back in the first round. Still, he feels like he let down all of Alabama. Bisping says the win “put a stupid little smirk on [Miller’s] already stupid-looking face.” He says they’ll win the next one, but doesn’t really sound convinced.

On the next episode: Brimage gets into it with one of his teammates, and a mayonnaise prank goes too far.

Video: Michael Bisping is a Bit of a Bully When He’s Drinking

(Video courtesy of YouTube/bobbycavian)

Michael Bisping was interviewed by Bobby Cavian from MMANYTT last week after the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 14 and the slightly tipsy UFC middleweight, although *slightly* less abrasive than usual, was pretty much the exact type of guy his opposing coach, Jason “Mayhem” Miller would have taught a lesson to on Bully Beatdown.

From calling Cavian “a Swedish Hobbit” and insulting his attire to pushing him around and slapping him in the face, Bisping seemed to take pages out of “Rampage” and Forrest Griffin’s playbook for the Q&A session. He better hope he doesn’t meet up with Dan Henderson on the MTV show if Mayhem shows up at his door with Cavian to throw down the gauntlet.


(Video courtesy of YouTube/bobbycavian)

Michael Bisping was interviewed by Bobby Cavian from MMANYTT last week after the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 14 and the slightly tipsy UFC middleweight, although *slightly* less abrasive than usual, was pretty much the exact type of guy his opposing coach, Jason “Mayhem” Miller would have taught a lesson to on Bully Beatdown.

From calling Cavian “a Swedish Hobbit” and insulting his attire to pushing him around and slapping him in the face, Bisping seemed to take pages out of “Rampage” and Forrest Griffin’s playbook for the Q&A session. He better hope he doesn’t meet up with Dan Henderson on the MTV show if Mayhem shows up at his door with Cavian to throw down the gauntlet.

“The Count” actually made it more than halfway through the interview without bragging about himself, which is quite an accomplishment for a megalomaniac like him. Like clockwork though,  as soon as he was asked a question about “Mayhem” coming in from Strikeforce and stealing his so-called UFC thunder, he says that there’s no way he’s going to let “the codger” take what he’s “worked hard to achieve.”

We’ll now go to Chael Sonnen’s Twitter to speak to these claims:

Some unintentional comedy came out of the interview with Bisping’s revelation that he was voted “The UK’s Coolest Guy of 2008″ behind Liam Gallagher. We can think of a few different adjectives than “coolest” that better suit the name of the award, which, by the way was bestowed upon him by the little known Zoo Magazine.

His insinuation that he and Miller actually throw down during this season of TUF better not be bullocks.

‘TUF 14? Episode 1 Recap: Little Fighters, Big World


(Hmm, where have we seen that before? For more GIFs from the episode, visit IronForgesIron.)

Last night on the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Bisping vs. Team Miller, 16 bantamweights and 16 featherweights entered the cold confines of the Mandalay Bay Events Center, fighting for a chance to become one of the last two Ultimate Fighter winners in Spike TV history. As promised, these little bastards came to bang. Only one of them had hair that you could describe as “crazy,” and even that dude looked like he could be an early front-runner.

As you already know, two-time TUF veteran Michael Bisping is coaching alongside cable TV personality/submission specialist Jason “Mayhem” Miller. Even on day one, while they’re both watching the elimination fights at cageside, Miller is already on Bisping’s nerves, although it’s not exactly clear why that is. It’ll take a very special man to penetrate Michael’s stony heart, and only he shall be known as the true king.

Anyway, 16 fights, two hours. Let’s run through it.


(Hmm, where have we seen that before? For more GIFs from the episode, visit IronForgesIron.)

Last night on the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Bisping vs. Team Miller, 16 bantamweights and 16 featherweights entered the cold confines of the Mandalay Bay Events Center, fighting for a chance to become one of the last two Ultimate Fighter winners in Spike TV history. As promised, these little bastards came to bang. Only one of them had hair that you could describe as “crazy,” and even that dude looked like he could be an early front-runner.

As you already know, two-time TUF veteran Michael Bisping is coaching alongside cable TV personality/submission specialist Jason “Mayhem” Miller. Even on day one, while they’re both watching the elimination fights at cageside, Miller is already on Bisping’s nerves, although it’s not exactly clear why that is. It’ll take a very special man to penetrate Michael’s stony heart, and only he shall be known as the true king.

Anyway, 16 fights, two hours. Let’s run through it.

[Bantamweights] Josh Ferguson def. Casey Dyer via TKO, round 1. Dyer is a 21-year-old beanpole with a serious length advantage, but Ferguson boldly jabs his way inside, smashes Dyer down with a big right hand, and finishes it off with some ground-and-pound. Quick ‘n’ nasty. Josh Ferguson is the first guy officially in the house. Will his brother BJ be joining him?

[Featherweights] Diego Brandao def. Jesse Newell via KO, round 1. Brandao has a reputation as a knockout artist, but shoots for a takedown as soon as Newell starts landing on him. Brandao briefly takes his back. Newell gets out but Brandao clocks him with a looping left, following by a Hendo-style flying tomahawk punch. In just a minute of fighting, Newell’s face looks like roadkill. ”THAT’S THE FUCKING TUF!” Brandao shouts.

[BW] John Dodson def. Brandon Merkt via TKO, round 1. John Dodson is a tiny, tiny man, but my God is he fast. He whips in kicks and punches before Merkt can even react to them. Dodson lands a great body shot that crumbles Merkt, then a knee/punches blitz that finishes him. And just for fun, he executes a celebratory backflip off the cage. Dodson might be a little small for the weight, but he’s a future contender at 125. Not that I’d count him out on the show.

[FW] Dennis Bermudez def. Jimmie Rivera via TKO, round 2. Bermudez’s wrestling career was cut short by a pregnant girlfriend. Two years later, he finds out the kid isn’t his. He uses that rage to fuel him. But things look dicey in the beginning. Bermudez might be a good wrestler, but his striking defense leaves a lot to be desired. Rivera tees off on him in round one, and at one point it looks like Bermudez is flash-KO’d. Luckily he survives to the bell, and turns it around in round 2. Bermudez stumbles Rivera with strikes, rushes in with a knee, and takes Rivera’s back. Bermudez flattens Rivera out, and pounds the side of his head until the ref steps in. Great comeback win.

[BW] Roland Delorme def. BJ Ferguson via submission (triangle choke), round 1. Ferguson lands some punches, takes a nut shot, and shoots into a guillotine. He coverts the takedown and Delorme loses his hold. Delorme gets up, and uses a standing kimura to flip Ferguson to the mat. He switches to an armbar, and Ferguson scrambles to survive it, but then Delorme switches to a triangle and he ain’t getting out of that shit.

[FW] Marcus Brimage def. Bryson Wailehua-Hansen via TKO, round 2. Brimage throws his punches with bad motherfucking intentions. Hanson has the advantage for a while in the first round, taking Brimage’s back and working for the rear-naked. Brimage throws punches behind his head the whole time, trying to knock Hansen out; you gotta credit the man’s balls. He finally escapes, gets to his feet, and starts landing brutal shots on Hansen. Hansen is stunned, but keeps upright. It seems like Brimage might gas out trying to take Hansen’s head off his shoulders, but the bell saves them both. In round two, Brimage finishes what he started, slugging Hansen’s face until the ref calls a standing TKO. Arguably an early stoppage, considering that Hansen was still throwing punches when the fight was called, but the boy just wasn’t going to go down.

[BW] Johnny Bedford def. Carson Beebe via submission (neck crank/guillotine choke), round 1. Well damn, we already know how this one is going to end, if Beebe is on the supporting card of War Machine vs. Gideon Ray. Carson wants to step out of the shadow of his former WEC-champ brother, but it won’t happen today. Bedford scores a pair of takedowns early, and abuses Beebe against the fence. Beebe escapes and fights back, landing some punches, but Bedford fires back harder, landing a nasty inside hook from a clinch, then an elbow on the exit. Bedford stuns Beebe with a punch and knee and sinks the sub on the ground.

[BW] Dustin Pague def. Tateki Matsuda via majority decision. Matsuda is the 1st Japanese fighter in TUF history. Really, it’s taken 14 seasons? (What was Andy Wang, again?) Like Dodson, Matsuda might be small for the weight. But he’s from a Muay Thai background, and it shows. He seems to outstrike Pague handily in round 1, and does pretty well in the second, although Pague may have earned it with some wrestling and top control. Unfortunately, there’s no love for an Asian boy, and Pague gets the judges’ nod after two rounds. Kinda bullshit.

We switch into abridged highlight-mode for the next few fights…

[BW] Louis Gaudinot def. Paul McVeigh via TKO, round 3. Gaudinot is the dude with the Hermes Franca hair and Diego Sanchez face. McVeigh says he’s been kicking around as the #1 bantamweight in Europe, for whatever that’s worth. Michael Bisping takes a moment to tell us that Mayhem “looks like a cross between Josh Koscheck and a toilet brush with his current hairstyle.” After an evenly matched first round, Gaudinot comes alive in the second with a takedown and strikes. They go to sudden victory. Gaudinot pulls off a upside-down back elbow in the third — something Jon Jones or Urijah Faber might come up with — and starts laying into McVeigh. Gaudinot smashes McVeigh with elbows from the top, scoring a TKO and ending a crazy fight.

[FW] Bryan Caraway def. Eric Marriot via unanimous decision. Miesha Tate’s boyfriend wins the first round on the basis of submission attempts, then lay-and-prays through the second. Okay, so they’re not all great fights. Of all the guys who advance into the house, Dana seems least impressed with Bryan — but he points out that if you can’t defend wrestling, you don’t belong here anyway.

[FW] Dustin Neace def. Josh Clopton via unanimous decision. Another questionable call from the judges. Bisping and DW thought Clopton win it. Clopton has himself a good cry afterwards.

[BW] TJ Dillashaw def. Matt Jaggers via TKO, round 1. Team Alpha Male product Dillashaw is aggressive, and a little wild with his striking. Dillashaw gets it to the ground and works some savage GnP. He scores mount, but Jaggers uses the fence to kick out. Dillashaw with a right hand, Jaggers with a body shot. Dillashaw shoots again and moves to side control, then mount again and more ground-and-pound. In the final seconds of the round, Dillashaw pours down some killer elbows. Jaggers loses consciousness just as the horn sounds.

[FW] Steven Siler def. Micah Miller via submission (guillotine choke), round 3. Cole Miller’s brother is the most experienced guy in the pack, and he’s confident about his chances. (“I may not know who he is, but he knows who I am, and he knows he’s screwed,” Micah says.) Siler looks nervous, and Dana crosses off his name before the fight even starts. But it’s just a bad day for fighters with more-famous brothers. Despite his shook-ass demeanor, Siler came to fight, and in the third round, Miller shoots for a takedown and gets guillotined.

[BW] John Albert def. Orville Smith via submission (rear-naked choke), round 1. Albert spends the whole round looking for a finish on the ground, despite his corner’s pleas to keep it standing. He gets the finish, and everybody else looks like assholes.

[FW] Stephen Bass def. Karsten Lenjoint via submission (triangle choke), round 2. That’s pretty much all you need to know.

[FW] Akira Corassani def. Brian Pearman via TKO, round 1. Pearman starts out as the aggressor. He nails a takedown and looks for a d’arce choke on the ground. Corassani escapes and goes for the ten-finger guillotine, but loses it. After some dirty boxing, Corassani lands a spinning backfist and starts to gain momentum. Corassani uses Pearman’s head for target practice, but Pearman has a strong damn chin on him. Finally, Corassani finds his button and Pearman drops like a sack of pears, man. Akira celebrates by spraying water on Jason Miller.

All in all, the 16 fights resulted in eight knockouts, five submissions, and three decisions — and those three decisions all came after two rounds, so who knows what could have happened if they went to a third. Good show, all around. Dana tells the boys that he’s “overly impressed” with what he saw, and gives them props for producing some of the best fights on TUF, ever.

Coming up on this season of The Ultimate Fighter: Donkeys, mariachis, bug-eating, silly-string, naked men — and hopefully some fights, too!