Author: MattSaccaro

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Attackers By Staring At Them and Stop Swords With Your Mind

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and not through years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude. Check it out after the jump.

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof. Rumor has it he developed this technique by watching Care Bears.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and due to years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude:

What’s his story? Well, we’re not sure. His Facebook page has been around for less than a month, and a Google search yielded nothing. All we found was the Facebook page, his YouTube videos, and other Facebook pages linking to the videos. Weird.

To borrow Brian Kilmeade’s words about Scott Morris at UFC 2, “We don’t know much about him, because he is a ninja.”

We don’t know much about Abe because he’s a mysterious chi master. He probably lives atop a mountain, and only trains those with the determination and mettle to reach the summit. By that, we mean he probably drives a truck and will teach anyone whose checks cash.

If the garbled translations Facebook offered are anything to go by, he apparently teaches at a place called Kenmochi Martial Arts Center in Kama, Japan. We Googled this and nothing appeared. Maybe only those with the heart of a pure martial artist can see the website. Who knows.

For what it’s worth, here’s a passage from their Facebook page, translation via Facebook:

To the facebook page of the Japan kenmochi martial arts center-flow military family Association Headquarters there.

Japan Kobudo preservation association and the military family Association on mental martial arts through the ancient martial arts of Japan with 1300 years of history “to bow beginning to end with general education, intended to bequeath to future generations the spirit and skills together with the sound development of the mind and body. “The aim of the Japanese Old Martial Arts Studying and Training Association is bring the body and spirit up healthy with training and studying the spirit and culture of Samurai Budo as”the a of with end and with Start a bow bow”based on the history of more than 1,300 years and to pass those spirits and arts to the future. Can tour? s introduction of recruiting”Division training and experience. ? Wed-Fri 19: 30-21: 00 Sun 13:30-17:00 ? Japan kenmochi martial arts center-flow military family of Soke Shihan Okuma Shigenobu

Yeah, not the clearest. Perhaps deciphering the Engrish is just another part of the test to determine whether you’re worthy of learning the techniques.

Keep in mind this dude’s stuff is so ridiculous he MAY be doing a parody of a Bullshido guy. Then again, there were people legitimately trying to present Balinese White Magic as the world’s greatest martial art, so you never know. We’re going to keep looking for information and see if this is a real thing or just a parody. In the mean time, check out another video of him destroying his students with the Force:

By the way, this edition comes from a tip sent by Cameron D. Thanks, Cameron!

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Dana White on Gina Carano: “It’s Complicated”


(Gina Carano prepares for a showdown with Ronda Rousey by developing the Rouseybuster Armor MK II. / Photo via Getty)

And no, Dana White is not talking about a Facebook relationship status. He’s referring to Zuffa’s current contract negotiations with Gina Carano, the former “Face of Women’s MMA.”

Not too long ago, White triumphantly announced that the UFC would sign Carano and book her in a fight against UFC women’s bantamweight champ Ronda Rousey. As the old saying goes, be wary of Dana White bearing promises. This boast, like almost every other thing Dana White has ever said since this fateful interview, turned out to be bullshit.

It turns out signing the fighter-turned-actress is harder than Uncle Dana anticipated.


(Gina Carano prepares for a showdown with Ronda Rousey by developing the Rouseybuster Armor MK II. / Photo via Getty)

And no, Dana White is not talking about a Facebook relationship status. He’s referring to Zuffa’s current contract negotiations with Gina Carano, the former “Face of Women’s MMA.”

Not too long ago, White triumphantly announced that the UFC would sign Carano and book her in a fight against UFC women’s bantamweight champ Ronda Rousey. As the old saying goes, be wary of Dana White bearing promises. This boast, like almost every other thing Dana White has ever said since this fateful interview, turned out to be bullshit.

It turns out signing the fighter-turned-actress is harder than Uncle Dana anticipated.

“It’s complicated,” White said at the UFC on FOX 12 post-fight presser. “It’s going very positive, but it’s complicated.” And that’s all he said about it.

It appears we won’t be getting Rousey-Carano, after all–at least not in 2014. While such a fight is dubious in terms of legitimacy (a fighter who hasn’t fought since 2009 earning a title shot despite coming off a loss), there’s little doubt it’d generate some much-needed heat for the UFC.

To be honest, a little heat is kind of necessary, especially for the women’s bantamweight division. Rousey crushing over-matched contenders with no name value is getting old fast. While it’s our belief that she’d destroy Carano pretty easily, it’s highly probable that Carano would generate more buzz and excitement than the likes of Alexis Davis and Cat Zingano can generate.

Until the UFC signs Carano, Holly Holm will have to suffice as Rousey’s next biggest potential opponent.

Robbie Lawler Earns $210,000 for Beating Matt Brown as UFC on FOX 12 Payroll Nears $1 Million


(Photo via Getty)

Robbie Lawler and Matt Brown put on a show at UFC on FOX 12. It wasn’t the 5-star epic poem many were expecting, but it was still a fun, entertaining fight that made spending a night in front of the TV worth it.

But was it worth it for the fighters?

Heading into the card, media pundits discussed the potential paydays for the card’s fighters. They noted four fighters could earn six figures. Friend of CagePotato Trent Reinsmith summed up our thoughts on the issue:

Three fighters earned six figures. And only five fighters made fewer than $10,000 (this excludes “of the night” bonuses and the mythical locker room bonuses as well).

Lawler earned $210,000, the highest pay of the night. Matt Brown received $46,000.

Anthony Johnson made the easiest $106,000 of his life in a 44-second drubbing of Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, who took home $114,000 to act as a human punching bag–not bad!

Jorge Masvidal, too, made a pretty penny. He received $84,000 in his victory over Daron Cruickshank.

Here are the figures for the entire card (all via MMAJunkie):


(Photo via Getty)

Robbie Lawler and Matt Brown put on a show at UFC on FOX 12. It wasn’t the 5-star epic poem many were expecting, but it was still a fun, entertaining fight that made spending a night in front of the TV worth it.

But was it worth it for the fighters?

Heading into the card, media pundits discussed the potential paydays for the card’s fighters. They noted four fighters could earn six figures. Friend of CagePotato Trent Reinsmith summed up our thoughts on the issue:

Three fighters earned six figures. And only five fighters made fewer than $10,000 (this excludes “of the night” bonuses and the mythical locker room bonuses as well).

Lawler earned $210,000, the highest pay of the night. Matt Brown received $46,000.

Anthony Johnson made the easiest $106,000 of his life in a 44-second drubbing of Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, who took home $114,000 to act as a human punching bag–not bad!

Jorge Masvidal, too, made a pretty penny. He received $84,000 in his victory over Daron Cruickshank.

Here are the figures for the entire card (all via MMAJunkie):

Robbie Lawler: $210,000 ($105,000 win bonus)
Matt Brown: $46,000

Anthony Johnson: $106,000 ($53,000 win bonus)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira: $114,000

Dennis Bermudez: $48,000 ($24,000 win bonus)
Clay Guida: $50,000

Bobby Green: $42,000 ($21,000 win bonus)
Josh Thomson: $84,000

Jorge Masvidal: $84,000 ($42,000 win bonus)
Daron Cruickshank: $12,000

Patrick Cummins: $20,000 ($10,000 win bonus)
Kyle Kingsbury: $15,000

Tim Means: $20,000 ($10,000 win bonus)
Hernani Perpetuo: $8,000

Brian Ortega: $16,000 ($8,000 win bonus)
Mike De La Torre: $8,000

Tiago Trator: $16,000 ($8,000 win bonus)
Akbarh Arreola: $8,000

Gilbert Burns: $16,000 ($8,000 win bonus)
Andreas Stahl: $8,000

Joanna Jedrzejczyk: $16,000 ($8,000 win bonus)
Juliana Lima: $8,000

Noad Lahat: $16,000 ($8,000 win bonus)
Steven Siler: $15,000

And again: These numbers don’t account for magic locker room bonuses or “of the night” bonuses. Speaking of the latter: Lawler and Brown earned an extra $50,000 for “Fight of the Night.” Both Dennis Bermudez and Anthony Johnson got $50,000 for “Performance of the Night.”

In total, they payroll for the card neared $1 million, coming in at $986,000. So, still you think these guys don’t work hard enough for their money?

Bellator 122 Results: Koreshkov Batters McDonough, Halsey Submits Cooper, Parisyan Obliterates Baroni

Bellator’s first event under Scott Coker’s reign is over. Andrey Koreshkov blasted Adam McDonough en  route to a unanimous decision victory and Brandon Halsey dominated Brett Cooper with a first round submission win.

The event was one of Bellator’s better ones. We’ve recapped the entire card for you (and threw in some GIFs–which are all courtesy of Zombie Prophet/Fansided):

The Bellator 122 prelims were packed with action. Saad Awad pulled off one of the best TKOs from the bottom in recent memory against Joe Duarte. After getting blasted with a right hand, Awad crumbled to the mat. However, Duarte got over aggressive and Awad snagged him in a triangle. The ref called the fight about a billion elbows to Duarte’s temple later. Check out the GIF.

Other significant prelim happenings: The unheralded Fernando Gonzalez upset Bellator mainstay Karl Amoussou via unanimous decision. Gonzalez was simply quicker and better conditioned. One has to wonder about Amoussou’s future in Bellator.

Bellator put a light heavyweight tournament semifinal on the prelims. Kelly Anundson took on Luiz Philipe Lins, but the fight didn’t last long. Lins collapsed to the canvas a few minutes into the first round with a knee injury. Anundson was therefore awarded with a TKO victory.

More prelim action: Wrestling standout Bubba Jenkins steamrolled over Poppies Martinez, taking him down and scoring a TKO via ground and pound (GIF) in the first frame.

Get the rundown of the main card–plus the precious GIFs–after the jump.

Bellator’s first event under Scott Coker’s reign is over. Andrey Koreshkov blasted Adam McDonough en  route to a unanimous decision victory and Brandon Halsey dominated Brett Cooper with a first round submission win.

The event was one of Bellator’s better ones. We’ve recapped the entire card for you (and threw in some GIFs–which are all courtesy of Zombie Prophet/Fansided):

The Bellator 122 prelims were packed with action. Saad Awad pulled off one of the best TKOs from the bottom in recent memory against Joe Duarte. After getting blasted with a right hand, Awad crumbled to the mat. However, Duarte got over aggressive and Awad snagged him in a triangle. The ref called the fight about a billion elbows to Duarte’s temple later. Check out the GIF.

Other significant prelim happenings: The unheralded Fernando Gonzalez upset Bellator mainstay Karl Amoussou via unanimous decision. Gonzalez was simply quicker and better conditioned. One has to wonder about Amoussou’s future in Bellator.

Bellator put a light heavyweight tournament semifinal on the prelims. Kelly Anundson took on Luiz Philipe Lins, but the fight didn’t last long. Lins collapsed to the canvas a few minutes into the first round with a knee injury. Anundson was therefore awarded with a TKO victory.

More prelim action: Wrestling standout Bubba Jenkins steamrolled over Poppies Martinez, taking him down and scoring a TKO via ground and pound (GIF) in the first frame.

The main card started with what was the true main event of the night (for us at least): PHIL BARONI VS. KARO PARISYAN. Unfortunately, it didn’t really live up to our expectations. Baroni came out completely flat. As soon as Parisyan turned up the “heat” [Editor’s note: We’re so sorry. The intern who came up with that line has been let go], Baroni became a deer in the headlights…then a dead deer on the hood of a car. The end was particularly brutal as he was finished while sitting in Indian style (GIF), just absorbing punches to the head in a total stupor. We really, REALLY hope he retires at this point.

Next up came highly touted British Prospect Liam McGeary vs. Egidijus Valavicius in the next light heavyweight tournament semifinal. McGeary kicked Valavicius to the curb. After taking a handful of punches, McGeary clinched Valavicius. A minute or two later, a flurry of lethal knees and uppercuts (GIF) from McGeary ended the fight; Valavicius was out on his feet. McGeary will face Kelly Anundson in the finals of the light heavyweight tournament.

In the co-main event, Brett Cooper met Brandon Halsey in the middleweight tournament final. Halsey controlled the bout during the minute or two that it lasted. Halsey clinched Cooper, took him down, and then arm barred him (GIF). It almost resembled a Ronda Rousey fight in that aspect.

The co-main event saw Andrey Koreshkov face Adam McDonough in the welterweight tournament semifinal. It was domination from bell to bell. Koreshkov landed an array of strikes (included a wicked spinning back kick) that kept McDonough puzzled throughout the fight. Koreshkov was too fast, too accurate, and his sprawls were too powerful for McDonough, a wrestler with anemic striking, to mount anything resembling an offense. It was a strong performance for Koreshkov, who earned a title shot with the win. It was a strong performance for Bellator, too. The fight card was energetic, fun, and left us with that “let’s shadow box with our shirts off” feeling.

Here are the complete results:

Main Card:

Andrey Koreshkov def. Adam McDonough via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Brandon Halsey def. Brett Cooper via submission (armbar), Round 1, 2:09
Liam McGeary def. Egidijus Valavicius via TKO (strikes), Round 1, 2:10
Karo Parisyan def. Phil Baroni via knockout (punches), Round 1, 2:06

Preliminary Card:

Augusto Sakai def. Matt Frembling via TKO (strikes), Round 3, 3:32
Bubba Jenkins def. Poppies Martinez via TKO (punches), Round 1, 4:10
Kelly Anundson def. Philipe Lins via TKO (injury), Round 1, 1:40
Fernando Gonzalez def. Karl Amoussou via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Saad Awad def. Joe Duarte via TKO (elbows) – Round 1, 1:18
Sergio Rios def. Stephen Martinez via TKO (head kick, punches), Round 2, 0:20
Linton Vassell def. Virgil Zwicker via submission (rear-naked choke), Round 1, 1:07

Henry Cejudo Signs With the UFC, Will Meet Scott Jorgensen at UFC 177


(Henry Cejudo wrestles a crazed MMA fan. / Photo via Getty)

Well, Potato Nation, it appears we may have been…wrong.

Emphasis on may have been.

A few months ago, we called Olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo the biggest bust in MMA history. At the time, there was plenty of evidence to support it–specifically his apparent lack of focus (and sanity) as far as MMA was concerned. Then there was his involvement with a cult of weird, new age, self-help loons.


(Henry Cejudo wrestles a crazed MMA fan. / Photo via Getty)

Well, Potato Nation, it appears we may have been…wrong.

Emphasis on may have been.

A few months ago, we called Olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo the biggest bust in MMA history. At the time, there was plenty of evidence to support it–specifically his apparent lack of focus (and sanity) as far as MMA was concerned. Then there was his involvement with a cult of weird, new age, self-help loons.

The UFC doesn’t share our misgivings about Cejudo. They just signed the 2008 Olympic freestyle wrestling gold medal winner. They also booked him in a fight against a proven quantity in Scott Jorgensen.

Cejudo is 6-0 over Wikipedia-less jobbers. His most recent fight was back in January–a flyweight fight where he missed weight by three pounds. Jorgensen, too is coming off a victory. He defeated Danny Martinez at UFC Fight Night 42. Prior to that, he had dropped three fights straight.

This is an interesting signing, Potato Nation.

The biggest question is whether Cejudo can mentally cope with the big leagues. Judging by the fact that he had trouble dealing with the likes of Legacy FC, we’re not optimistic.

However, the UFC is willing to take the risk–and why not? The flyweight division is devoid of anyone that can even remotely be considered a draw. And, as Luke Thomas noted, Cejudo’s ability to speak Spanish would be a boon to the UFC’s efforts in Latin America provided he string a few wins together.

But even if Cejudo loses, it doesn’t matter. This fight is taking place on UFC 177–the card TJ Dillashaw vs. Renan Barao is headlining–so it’s unlikely anyone will see it happen.

Is MMA About to Enter a New Golden Age?


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

“It’s always darkest before it’s totally black.”-Mao Zedong (supposedly).

This quote aptly described MMA’s immediate future, or at least it seemed to until very recently. Card quality, fan interest, and–most importantly–numbers were all declining; 2014’s PPV buy ceiling of 350,000 was 2009’s floor. MMA was headed for a perplexing time when it was simultaneously bigger than ever but smaller than ever, when the fighters were more talented than ever but less popular than ever.

A series of fortunate events and new found circumstances can change all that. To make a Back to the Future reference, the horrific, Biff Tannen-owned Hill Valley that represented MMA’s future may well become the nice, stable Hill Valley in which George McFly is a successful fiction author and Marty McFly bangs his girlfriend in the back of a pickup truck. That is to say, MMA might be approaching a level of popularity, constancy and quality that many (including myself) didn’t think it was capable of reaching in the current climate.

What’s the reason for this cautious optimism?


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

“It’s always darkest before it’s totally black.”-Mao Zedong (supposedly).

This quote aptly described MMA’s immediate future, or at least it seemed to until very recently. Card quality, fan interest, and–most importantly–numbers were all declining; 2014′s PPV buy ceiling of 350,000 was 2009′s floor. MMA was headed for a perplexing time when it was simultaneously bigger than ever but smaller than ever, when the fighters were more talented than ever but less popular than ever.

A series of fortunate events and new found circumstances can change all that. To make a Back to the Future reference, the horrific, Biff Tannen-owned Hill Valley that represented MMA’s future may well become the nice, stable Hill Valley in which George McFly is a successful fiction author and Marty McFly bangs his girlfriend in the back of a pickup truck. That is to say, MMA might be approaching a level of popularity, constancy and quality that many (including myself) didn’t think it was capable of reaching in the current climate.

What’s the reason for this cautious optimism?

The initial catalyst, for me at least, is MMA’s reaction to Conor McGregor. Interest for UFC Fight Night 46 was so high you’d have thought it was headlined by Jon Jones vs. Alexander Gustafsson II rather than Conor McGregor vs. Diego Brandao. And this was on a Fight Pass card, mind you. That level of excitement for a Fight Pass card is extremely rare–as was the web traffic he brought in for a Fight Pass card. Fight Pass cards are so lackluster we refused to cover one. UFC Fight Night 46, however, garnered more traffic than even some Fox Sports 1 cards.

Conor McGregor stepping into the Octagon is an event. People need to see it. It’s no wonder then UFC Fight Night 46 was reportedly the most-watched Fight Pass event of all time. Conor McGregor has the makings of a superstar. He’s charismatic, a magnet for attention, he’s talented, and has a fan-friendly fighting style. Though McGregor is further proof stars have to be found and built up rather than manufactured by stamping “UFC” on them, McGregor is a light in the dark.

On Twitter, CagePotato joked that McGregor was “the new Ronda Rousey, and Dana White agreed.

Rousey, too, is another reason the future seems bright. As I’ve noted in the past, the UFC women’s bantamweight division is little more than a promotional vehicle for Ronda Rousey. If you doubt this, look at Ronda Rousey’s fights in the UFC. Was the UFC sponsoring her or her opponent? The UFC does not dissemble its abject love of Rousey; Dana White admitted Rousey is the only reason the division exists.

As inflammatory and ridiculous as it sounded when White said it, Rousey might actually be the UFC’s biggest star. This (somewhat) justifies the UFC’s treatment of her. But watching even the greatest of fighters crush glorified jobbers in under a minute can get boring–boring enough that people won’t pay $60 to see it. Currently, the UFC women’s bantamweight division is such that Floyd Mayweather Jr. is the only person getting as much attention as Rousey. That’s changing now.

The UFC has Holly Holm. It might have Gina Carano this week, too. Hell, it could have Cristiane Justino in the future if she can consistently make the 135-lbs weight limit in Invicta. Dana White is already starting to backtrack on his “NO CYBORG EVER LOL” stance.

Rousey-Holm, Rousey-Carano, and Rousey-Justino are far more sell-able and will garner more interest than Rousey vs. any of the other overmatched contenders in the division.

The women’s MMA landscape as a whole is changing thanks to the UFC’s inclusion of the strawweight division via TUF 20. The UFC’s current strawweight roster possesses enough personalities (Rose Namajunas, Felice Herrig, etc.) to make the weight class interesting.

Then we come to UFC Fight Pass. We’ve panned the network on CagePotato multiple times, but Zuffa is finally starting to listen to our suggestions. To that end, they will now start showing Invicta fight cards. Deals with other MMA promotions might also be in the works. They also plan to to air events in judo, wrestling, and other martial arts. Fight Pass is changing for the better. What was once a cheap cash-grab is turning into a legitimate window into the mixed martial arts ecosystem.

And finally, Bellator. Bjorn Rebney is out. Scott Coker, a man with the proven capability to put on cards fans care about (and who’s not scummy and horrible), is in. With Scott Coker’s vision and Viacom’s financial backing, Bellator 2.0 (or Spikeforce, as we like to call it) can become serious competition to the UFC, which’ll force the UFC to step up its game and offer a better product. Look at UFC Fight Night 50. Is it a coincidence that it’s one of the more loaded Fight Night cards in recent memory? Did Zuffa just feel like throwing us a bone? Of course not. UFC Fight Night 50 is going head to head with Bellator 123 that night.

There are reasons for MMA fans to be hopeful. There is an emerging star on the horizon, the UFC’s biggest existing star has more credible, higher profile foes to dispatch, a new crop of feisty and fearsome women are entering the fold, Fight Pass is becoming something you wouldn’t be ashamed of subscribing to, and we’re fast approaching the spiritual resurrection of Strikeforce and the competitive nature in MMA it entails.

Are we approaching a Golden Age? Maybe not because the sport still has a few unsolved problems. But we’re certainly approaching an age in which things get better before they get worse. Be cautiously optimistic, MMA fans.