(We had no idea what picture to use for this post, but this one seems to work nicely. Be sure to check out Meerkatsu’s shop for plenty of other awesome jiu-jitsu artwork.)
Are “the experts” really more knowledgeable than anyone else in terms of predicting who will win a fight?That’s debatable, to say the least. Today we’re bringing in Adam Touchet – a college football blogger and the most casual of casual MMA fans – to see how his predictions hold up against what will actually happen on Saturday night. Read on for his picks, follow him on Twitter, and check out more of his work at what is possibly the least pretentious college football blog on the Internet, BattleOfTheSun.com.
I’ve spent my tiny broadcasting and show-business career trying to prove that just because you’re on television with a microphone it doesn’t make you an expert. What makes a guy who doesn’t even play a sport an “expert” at it, and what makes the “predictions” of the broadcasters presenting a sporting event to the masses any more valid than its rabid fan base?
Spoiler Alert: Nothing.
(We had no idea what picture to use for this post, but this one seems to work nicely. Be sure to check out Meerkatsu’s shop for plenty of other awesome jiu-jitsu artwork.)
Are “the experts” really more knowledgeable than anyone else in terms of predicting who will win a fight?That’s debatable, to say the least. Today we’re bringing in Adam Touchet – a college football blogger and the most casual of casual MMA fans – to see how his predictions hold up against what will actually happen on Saturday night. Read on for his picks, follow him on Twitter, and check out more of his work at what is possibly the least pretentious college football blog on the Internet, BattleOfTheSun.com.
I’ve spent my tiny broadcasting and show-business career trying to prove that just because you’re on television with a microphone it doesn’t make you an expert. What makes a guy who doesn’t even play a sport an “expert” at it, and what makes the “predictions” of the broadcasters presenting a sporting event to the masses any more valid than its rabid fan base?
Spoiler Alert: Nothing.
My knowledge of MMA is limited to Jim Norton being choked out by almost the entire UFC roster on the Opie & Anthony Show. My knowledge of specific fighters stops at Brock Lesnar and Ken Shamrock. Yeah, that’s right, I’m a Vince McMahon guy (Hi CM Punk!).
So when this fine world-wide-web destination asked me to choose who is walking out of UFC 164 a winner, I was ready to twerk a Miley Cyrus slug trail all over the #ThickeDicke that is Cage Potato. My picks are highly uninformed and shamelessly unfounded. However, “predictions” are conjecture and results are the truth.
Here are my predictions for the pay-per-view matches. I don’t see why I need to Zumba my way through the 17 hour preliminary event because Fox Sports 1 needs to justify its existence to our cable providers. By the way, is this event really being called the “Hometown Throwdown?” <sarcasm> Gee, I wonder why Dana White stopped naming these events </sarcasm>.
Benson Henderson (c) vs. Anthony Pettis
My first impression of Benson Henderson isn’t “Destroyer of Worlds”. He seems like a nice guy and has the appearance of someone who brings interesting conspiracies to The Joe Rogan Experience, and “Smooth” is always an unacceptable nickname for champion. All of my superficial gripes about the champ aren’t nearly as inexcusable as Pettis being the fourth best in the world according to a website whose rankings actually matter. What’s the deal, did someone get a concussion?
Having said all that, Henderson is Korean. I think Koreans are underrated. No, I won’t explain myself further. Zip up your amazingly boss satin tiger jumpsuit, I’m picking Henderson to retain the title.
Frank Mir vs. Josh Barnett
Here’s what I know: Mir beat Brock Lesnar. Has Barnett beaten John Cena or HHH lately? If you can bring me proof, then I could have a case for Josh Barnett.
By the way, how old are these gentlemen? You people wonder why MMA is illegal in Manhattan! Is it even legal, nay, moral, to put two men of a certain age into the cage? Holy crap, get Ray Romano, Scott Bakula & Kevin James on the phone; Men of a Certain Age IN THE CAGE is the no-brainer sequel to Here Comes the Boom. I can’t be bothered with fact-checking and research, because I need to check Scott Bakula’s availability in 2014. Frank Mir wins.
Chad Mendes vs. Clay Guida
Chad Mendes is part of Team Alpha Male. I already feel like he’s threatening my masculinity. Clay Guida doesn’t feel the need to intimidate me as a viewer, so he’s totally got this.
Ben Rothwell vs. Brandon Vera
I tried to learn more about this matchup, but Wikipedia fell asleep before it could try to explain why I should be excited about it. When in doubt, I pick who scares me the most. Ben Rothwell, you look like a grizzled trucker, before the FDA banned gas station amphetamines. You win, sir.
Erik Koch vs. Dustin Poirier
What kind of uninformed, babbling, self-aggrandizing sports analyst would I be if I didn’t take my hometown hero, Dustin Poirier? That’s my pick, because they’re going to say the name of my city on the TV box!
Do you understand how shameless you can truly be when you just call the elephant in the room? Take note ESPN, if you count your revenue dollars from big NCAA TV contracts while chastising student-athletes for disgustingly trumped-up violations, you won’t look like a bigger dunce than I did trying to predict the outcome of UFC 164.
(This photo of Ronny Markes was included to show Paulo Filho in happier times, and the shorts he bought at the Walmart across the street from this event when he realized he left his gym bag at home.)
Over the past twenty-four hours, ‘Fight for the Troops 3’ has seen several bouts added to a card that will be headlined by the middleweight debut of Lyoto Machida. Some of these fights are worth getting excited about (such as the Jorge Masvidal vs. Rustam Khabilov bout), while others, well, the Facebook preliminary card needs something, I guess. The following bouts are also set for the event, loosely arranged in order of how interesting they are on paper.
(This photo of Ronny Markes was included to show Paulo Filho in happier times, and the shorts he bought at the Walmart across the street from this event when he realized he left his gym bag at home.)
Over the past twenty-four hours, ‘Fight for the Troops 3′ has seen several bouts added to a card that will be headlined by the middleweight debut of Lyoto Machida. Some of these fights are worth getting excited about (such as the Jorge Masvidal vs. Rustam Khabilov bout), while others, well, the Facebook preliminary card needs something, I guess. The following bouts are also set for the event, loosely arranged in order of how interesting they are on paper.
George Roop vs. Francisco Rivera – This bout was originally scheduled for UFC 166, but was moved to this card to make room for Sarah Kaufman vs. Jessica Eye. Some fun facts about this fight: George Roop will be entering a fight riding back-to-back victories for the first time since 2008 for this one, and if Rivera didn’t piss hot after UFC 149, he’d be riding a five fight winning streak. It’s never a smart idea to bet money on a George Roop fight, but I think we’re in for a fun scrap.
Ronny Markes vs. Yoel Romero – Former Olympic wrestler Yoel Romero will look to follow up his devastating UFC debut with an impressive performance against a fighter who is 3-0 in the UFC and hasn’t lost since 2010. Sign me up.
Chris Camozzi vs. Lorenz Larkin – Yeah, I know, both guys are coming off losses. But before accepting a fight against Jacare on short notice, Camozzi was riding a four fight win streak that included victories over at least three guys you’ve heard of. Likewise, you can make the argument that Lorenz Larkin should still be undefeated; his loss against Francis Carmont this past April was debatable, to say the least. It’ll make for a decent midcard fight.
Neil Magny vs. Seth Baczynski – It’s win or go home for both fighters. That should at least provide a dramatic finish to a fight I otherwise wouldn’t be able to care less about.
On paper, UFC Fight Night 26 – or UFC on Fox Sports 1 1, or UFC Fight Night: Sonnen vs. Shogun, or whatever else people were calling this card – looked to be one of the strongest of the year. Usually those cards tend to be solid, but still fall a little short of the hype. This wasn’t one of those cards. All but one or two fights delivered in some form, often with jarring, violent finishes. It was all the UFC could have hoped for to cap off its run on Fox Sports’ new network.
Let’s start at the top; Chael Sonnen managed to control Mauricio “Shogun” Rua for the majority of the first round before shocking everyone by finishing Shogun with a guillotine choke. For Sonnen, this was a big win; it legitimizes his jump to 205, and he managed to submit an opponent with very high level submission grappling ability. It also netted him an extra $50,000 for one of the UFC’s Submission of the Night bonuses. Now everyone from Lyoto Machida to Vitor Belfort is chomping at the bit to get a shot at him. He’ll probably move on to fight either one of them, or Wanderlei Silva in a gimme matchup. As for Shogun, he was eulogized elsewhere before the fight. The hard truth is he hasn’t been the fighter he was since his third knee surgery after the second Machida fight, and getting hammered by Jon Jones and Dan Henderson probably didn’t help matters. Getting finished by Sonnen in the first round is evidence of that. It’s not quite time to hang up the gloves, but that day is drawing ever nearer for the 31 year-old.
On a slightly more enjoyable note was the shocking ending to the Travis Browne-Alistair Overeem co-main event. Overeem held the edge in power and technique, and it showed from the beginning. Overeem hammered Browne with shots from all angles, but particularly knees to the midsection. Browne was dropped a number of times but was never out of it, always maintaining an intelligent, if not necessarily effective, defense. But Overeem, as he is wont to do, began to tire. As he plodded forward, Browne unleashed a front kick that, while lacking the snap found in Anderson Silva’s or Lyoto Machida’s, was still sufficient to drop Ubereem. Browne followed with hammerfists and Mario Yamasaki stepped in. It was slightly premature, though Overeem had no complaints.
On paper, UFC Fight Night 26 – or UFC on Fox Sports 1 1, or UFC Fight Night: Sonnen vs. Shogun, or whatever else people were calling this card – looked to be one of the strongest of the year. Usually those cards tend to be solid, but still fall a little short of the hype. This wasn’t one of those cards. All but one or two fights delivered in some form, often with jarring, violent finishes. It was all the UFC could have hoped for to cap off its run on Fox Sports’ new network.
Let’s start at the top; Chael Sonnen managed to control Mauricio “Shogun” Rua for the majority of the first round before shocking everyone by finishing Shogun with a guillotine choke. For Sonnen, this was a big win; it legitimizes his jump to 205, and he managed to submit an opponent with very high level submission grappling ability. It also netted him an extra $50,000 for one of the UFC’s Submission of the Night bonuses. Now everyone from Lyoto Machida to Vitor Belfort is chomping at the bit to get a shot at him. He’ll probably move on to fight either one of them, or Wanderlei Silva in a gimme matchup. As for Shogun, he was eulogized elsewhere before the fight. The hard truth is he hasn’t been the fighter he was since his third knee surgery after the second Machida fight, and getting hammered by Jon Jones and Dan Henderson probably didn’t help matters. Getting finished by Sonnen in the first round is evidence of that. It’s not quite time to hang up the gloves, but that day is drawing ever nearer for the 31 year-old.
On a slightly more enjoyable note was the shocking ending to the Travis Browne-Alistair Overeem co-main event. Overeem held the edge in power and technique, and it showed from the beginning. Overeem hammered Browne with shots from all angles, but particularly knees to the midsection. Browne was dropped a number of times but was never out of it, always maintaining an intelligent, if not necessarily effective, defense. But Overeem, as he is wont to do, began to tire. As he plodded forward, Browne unleashed a front kick that, while lacking the snap found in Anderson Silva’s or Lyoto Machida’s, was still sufficient to drop Ubereem. Browne followed with hammerfists and Mario Yamasaki stepped in. It was slightly premature, though Overeem had no complaints.
There have been people who said Overeem paid for disrespecting his opponent again. That’s not true; Overeem has a history of gassing himself out and being unable to handle getting hit[Ed. Note, Part 1: I’m not saying…]. This is merely the latest manifestation of those flaws, which are exacerbated by fighting well above his natural weight [Ed. Note, Part 2: …I’m just saying – SF]. At this point, he’s one of the UFC’s most spectacular busts (but not the only one on this card!) with a drug bust and two consecutive KO losses. He’ll get one more chance to redeem himself, but I wouldn’t hold out hope for a title run in his tenure. As for Browne, the man can take a beating. That said, Cain Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos won’t be so likely to let him off the hook should he face them. He’s got work to do as well. But I bet those ribs of his feel better after winning one of the UFC’s two KO of the Night bonuses.
Urijah Faber proved yet again why he’s one of the best fighters in history – perhaps the best – to never hold UFC gold. Despite getting mounted by Iuri Alcantara within ten seconds of the first round, Faber maintained his poise and battle through submission attempts and back mount before gaining top position and raining elbows from the guard. From there on, it was all Faber. Alcanatara was a very legitimate opponent, but he simply couldn’t match Faber’s pace, wrestling and scrambling abilities. There are few who can. Another Faber title shot is probably as inevitable as the sun rising.
In what promised to be the Battle of the Gritty White Dudes, Matt Brown ended Mike Pyle’s night in under a minute. After dropping Pyle with a right to the temple, Brown unloaded on his adversary with brutal rights as he stood over him, separating Pyle from his senses and winning the other KO of the Night bonus. Brown, on a six-fight win streak with virtually every fight being eminently watchable, called out GSP after the fight. He’s not quite there yet, but give him the winner of Condit-Kampmann and we’ll see how he handles himself there. Pyle, on the other hand, has never quite managed to translate his fearsome gym reputation into the octagon. It’s unfortunate, and at 37, it’s unlikely to change at this point. Still, he’s talented enough to hang around for a while longer.
I mentioned Overeem wasn’t the only bust on this card. Well, the other honor belongs to TUF 17 sensation – and, as many people seem to forget, runner up – Uriah Hall. After a decent first round against late replacement John Howard, who is a natural welterweight, Hall seemed to fade. Not as a byproduct of conditioning so much as dismay stemming from the fact that his opponent simply wasn’t going to be intimidated. As a result, Hall simply seemed to withdraw into himself. There were rare moments of brilliance, such as when he almost took Howard’s back in the second round, but by and large he allowed Howard to push the pace and land shots. As a result, he deservedly lost a split decision in a relatively dull fight – perhaps the only one on the card – and will undoubtedly face the ire of the UFC should he lose again. His back’s against the wall, and if his fights are any indication, he might not respond too well to that
Finally, Michael Johnson showed improved striking in dispatching a sluggish Joe Lauzon. Lauzon was dropped twice in the first round and never seemed to figure out Johnson. Faced with a superior striker, he made no real effort to drag the fight to the ground, even as Johnson began to tire later in the fight. It wasn’t his best performance to say the least, but it was just the opposite for the mercurial Johnson. Johnson’s always been inconsistent as a fighter, but the overall trend of his fights show that he’s been improving. If he can maintain the level he showed last night – and avoid the ground at all costs – he’s got the ability to go places.
Just to touch on the preliminary card, Michael McDonald and Brad Pickett won fight of the night for their brutal two round scrap. McDonald scored a 10-8 first round, dropping Pickett multiple times. It’s a testament to Pickett’s toughness that he made it to the second, and a testament to McDonald’s mental toughness that he didn’t let that dissuade him. A bit fatigued, though, he found himself losing the second round to Pickett, on his back. In the blink of an eye, the tables turned as McDonald snatched a triangle choke from nowhere and, after some maneuvering, secured the tap and one Submission of the Night bonus as well. He’s a thought; have him go toe-to-toe with Uriah Faber.
Other than that, Conor McGregor had an excellent showing against Max Holloway, but possibly blew out his knee in the process. Hopefully not; the hype behind the man is, by all appearances, justified. Steven Siler scored a brutal knockout of former WEC Champion Mike Brown. And Diego Brandao managed to win an entertaining but progressively slow fight, living up to his reputation as someone who tends to gas after round one.
From top to bottom, almost every fight on this card delivered in some fashion. The decisions were exciting, the finishes were violent and shocking. The production was, by and large, professional and streamlined. Granted, we didn’t have Goldberg bellowing “IT IS ALLLLLL OVER!”, but maybe that’s something you need to ease a network audience into over time. All in all, this was the card the UFC wanted to have for its debut on Fox Sports 1, and it could not have gone better.
For some MMA fighters, professional wrestling was just a one-time cash grab. For others, it became a second career. Inspired by yet another week of TNA Impact Wrestling’s efforts to get anyone to care about the professional wrestling experiments of two broken-down MMA legends, we’ll be examining fighters who took up professional wrestling after they made their names in MMA in our newest installment of The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly.
Bear in mind that this article is focusing on mixed martial artists who transitioned to professional wrestling careers, and not fighters who started off as professional wrestlers. So that means fighters like Brock Lesnar, Ken Shamrock, Bobby Lashley, Giant Silva, Bob Sapp, Dos Caras Jr. (aka Alberto Del Rio), Dan Severn (Google it) and Sakuraba will not be covered here — although a few of these men will make appearances in this article. Let’s start off on a positive note…
The Good
The Professional Wrestling Career of Josh Barnett.
When you’re thinking of good instances of an MMA fighter turning to professional wrestling as a second career choice, Josh Barnett should immediately come to mind. There have been other fighters who dabbled in professional wrestling, but Barnett is one of the only ones to be just as popular and successful in it as he was in MMA.
Before his transition, Barnett became the youngest heavyweight champion in UFC history by defeating Randy Couture at UFC 36. After being stripped of his title due to a positive drug test, Barnett set his sights on the Japanese professional wrestling scene, where the fans value legitimacy and toughness from their wrestlers more than mic skills and charisma (although Barnett has both in spades). He immediately challenged for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship, and although he came up short, he went on to enjoy the most relevant crossover career of any fighter on this list before his return to the UFC earlier this year put a halt to the wrasslin’ for the time being.
For some MMA fighters, professional wrestling was just a one-time cash grab. For others, it became a second career. Inspired by yet another week of TNA Impact Wrestling’s efforts to get anyone to care about the professional wrestling experiments of two broken-down MMA legends, we’ll be examining fighters who took up professional wrestling after they made their names in MMA in our newest installment of The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly.
Bear in mind that this article is focusing on mixed martial artists who transitioned to professional wrestling careers, and not fighters who started off as professional wrestlers. So that means fighters like Brock Lesnar, Ken Shamrock, Bobby Lashley, Giant Silva, Bob Sapp, Dos Caras Jr. (aka Alberto Del Rio), Dan Severn (Google it) and Sakuraba will not be covered here — although a few of these men will make appearances in this article. Let’s start off on a positive note…
The Good
The Professional Wrestling Career of Josh Barnett.
When you’re thinking of good instances of an MMA fighter turning to professional wrestling as a second career choice, Josh Barnett should immediately come to mind. There have been other fighters who dabbled in professional wrestling, but Barnett is one of the only ones to be just as popular and successful in it as he was in MMA.
Before his transition, Barnett became the youngest heavyweight champion in UFC history by defeating Randy Couture at UFC 36. After being stripped of his title due to a positive drug test, Barnett set his sights on the Japanese professional wrestling scene, where the fans value legitimacy and toughness from their wrestlers more than mic skills and charisma (although Barnett has both in spades). He immediately challenged for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship, and although he came up short, he went on to enjoy the most relevant crossover career of any fighter on this list before his return to the UFC earlier this year put a halt to the wrasslin’ for the time being.
With Frye’s “rematch” against Yoshihiro Takayama being one of the few exceptions, the professional wrestling careers of Don Frye and Bas Rutten have been exactly what you’d expect them to be. If I need to explain why that’s a good thing, you’reobviouslynewhere.
The Polar Bear Fights Taz at ECW Hardcore Heaven.
(Enjoy the video while it lasts. Seriously, WWE’s lawyers will probably have it taken down soon.)
By 1996, a stocky, Brooklyn-born judoka by the name of Peter Senercia — better known as Taz — was one of the most talented, respected wrestlers on the independent circuit. Dubbed “The Human Suplex Machine,” Taz brawled his way through most of the ECW roster and was looking to take on some credible new opponents. This led to a problem for ECW owner Paul Heyman: Despite its success among hardcore wrestling fans, ECW was still very much an independent promotion that couldn’t afford to bring in established wrestlers just to job to one of their top stars. Always one to embrace new ideas, Heyman solved this dilemma by bringing Paul “The Polar Bear” Varelans in from the upstart Ultimate Fighting Championship to challenge Taz to a “real” fight at Hardcore Heaven.
At 6’8” tall and tipping the scales at 300 pounds, Varelans was the perfect fighter for Heyman to utilize. He was big enough to be seen as a formidable opponent, but his MMA record wasn’t too impressive for anyone to buy that Taz could actually beat him. The strong-style nature of the match hid The Polar Bear’s lack of professional wrestling training, yet also wasn’t out of place in ECW — especially not while Taz was in the ring. And while Taz obviously won the fight, he relied on outside interference. Having heels bend the rules in order to defeat larger, more skilled opponents is not only a common way to generate heat, but it also makes the ending more realistic in the eyes of the ECW fans who were familiar with those early UFC events. Well, at least as realistic as a fight that ends by Tazmission after an outsider dropkicks one of the fighters can look, I guess (work with me, people). Basically, everyone involved benefited from the situation and the fans actually cared about the angle — something that rarely happens when MMA fighters infiltrate the world of professional wrestling.
Bonus: According to wrestling legend, it was Taz who brought tapping out to professional wrestling. Taz was a huge Royce Gracie fan, and thought it would be more authentic if wrestlers tapped out at the end of their matches instead of just verbally submitting. If you think wrestling looks fake now, just imagine what it looked like when wrestlers verbally submitted to choke holds.
Brian Johnson Reinvents Himself in Japan
I’m willing to bet that, like most MMA fans, you’ve all but forgotten about Brian Johnson — the man who punched out a hapless Reza Nasri in under 30 seconds at UFC 11 before being emphatically tackled by Big John McCarthy. In terms of his real fighting career, you didn’t miss much — Johnson retired barely one year after he started fighting and lost to everyone he’s fought that you’ve heard of. However, with few other career options available for hulking spandex-clad athletes, Johnson turned to fake fighting and quickly excelled at it. He enjoyed success as a tag-team wrestler, pairing up with guys like Don Frye and Kazuyuki Fujita in the Japanese professional wrestling circuit.
Unfortunately, Johnson’s professional wrestling career would eventually serve as a brutal reminder that even though the fights are fake, the injuries that plague wrestlers are all too real. A series of concussions led him to retire in early 2001, and later that year, at only thirty-two years old, he would suffer a severe stroke. Though Johnson is alive and well today, he has wisely stayed away from the squared circle.
Hit that “next page” link for god awful gimmicks, the career that should have been, and the partnership that never should have…
It may not have been the barnburner that we hoped it would be, but Tyrone Spong improved his MMA record to 2-0 in the main event of last night’s WSoF 4 by earning a unanimous decision over Angel DeAnda.
Spong fought smart, utilizing leg kicks throughout the fight while avoiding DeAnda’s heavy hands for most of the fight. To DeAnda’s credit, he was never dropped by Spong, but he also never mounted any significant offense. At least I don’t think he did; one of the judges scored this fight 29-28.
Okay, so it wasn’t exactly the most exciting fight in recent memory. Fortunately, the rest of the WSoF 4 main card made up for the disappointment that was the main event. After the jump, there’s also videos of a knockout and submission for your viewing pleasure.
(Tyrone Spong vs Angel DeAnda.)
It may not have been the barnburner that we hoped it would be, but Tyrone Spong improved his MMA record to 2-0 in the main event of last night’s WSoF 4 by earning a unanimous decision over Angel DeAnda.
Spong fought smart, utilizing leg kicks throughout the fight while avoiding DeAnda’s heavy hands for most of the fight. To DeAnda’s credit, he was never dropped by Spong, but he also never mounted any significant offense. At least I don’t think he did; one of the judges scored this fight 29-28.
Okay, so it wasn’t exactly the most exciting fight in recent memory. Fortunately, the rest of the WSoF 4 main card made up for the disappointment that was the main event. After the jump, there’s also videos of a knockout and submission for your viewing pleasure.
(Ray Sefo vs Dave Huckaba)
Though JZ Cavalcante’s (questionable) knockout over Tyson Griffin earned him a spot in the upcoming lightweight tournament, my favorite knockout from last night involved heavyweights Ray Sefo and Dave Huckaba. Yes, you read that correctly.
It’s funny how the fight that many of us were expecting to be one of the ugliest bouts of the year – two old-timers engaged in a conflict of interest will drastically lower your expectations – turned out to arguably be the best fight from last night’s card. Sefo was in control for most of it, but he was caught by a fierce counter left hook that put him out on his feet. A few follow-up punches later, and Huckaba was awarded the standing TKO.
(Nick Newell vs Keon Caldwell)
Also from last night’s card, Nick Newell’s WSoF debut ended predictably. We were given a few takedowns by Newell, a comparison of Newell to Anthony Robles from Todd Harris, and then Newell locked in the fight-ending choke before the end of the first round. Don’t look now, but Newell is now 10-0, with nine of those fights ending in the first round and seven of those fights ending by submission. Expect him to receive a step up in competition for his next bout.
Full Results
Main Card
Tyrone Spong def. Angel DeAnda via unanimous decision
Marlon Moraes def. Brandon Hempleman via unanimous decision
Nick Newell def. Keon Caldwell via submission (guillotine choke), 2:07 of Round One
Dave Huckaba def. Ray Sefo via TKO (punches), 4:32 of Round Two
Gesias Cavalcante def. Tyson Griffin via TKO (punches), 1:37 of Round Three
Preliminary Card
Gerald Harris def. Jorge Santiago via unanimous decision
Lewis Gonzales def. Antonio McKee via unanimous decision
Jared Papazian def. John Robles via unanimous decision
Victor Valenzuela def. Isaac Gutierrez via submission (rear-naked choke), 2:41 of Round Two
It has finally happened. After years of mocking everything from ugly t-shirts to stupid tattoos, I have found something that has genuinely left me speechless. This god-awful McDojo demonstration featuring a “Taekwondo” “blackbelt” repeatedly trying (and failing, obviously) to break a board has me at a loss for words. From the nervous laughter from spectators throughout the video to the Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-esque form that the guy kicks with to the chunk of wood that flies off the board and hits a little girl halfway through the video, the only thing I can think of writing to go with this involves a series of completely unrelated GIFs with “Write your own damn jokes, comments section.” at the end.
It has finally happened. After years of mocking everything from ugly t-shirts to stupid tattoos, I have found something that has genuinely left me speechless. This god-awful McDojo demonstration featuring a “Taekwondo” “blackbelt” repeatedly trying (and failing, obviously) to break a board has me at a loss for words. From the nervous laughter from spectators throughout the video to the Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-esque form that the guy kicks with to the chunk of wood that flies off the board and hits a little girl halfway through the video, the only thing I can think of writing to go with this involves a series of sort-of related GIFs with “Write your own damn jokes, comments section.” at the end.