(We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let’s go to work.)
With his come from behind performance against Gray Maynard at UFC 136, lightweight champion Frankie Edgar has quickly become one of the more inspirational figures in the sport, so much so that last night, he was called upon by the always inconsistent New York Jets to provide some much needed inspiration heading in to their Monday night match against their long time rival, the Miami Dolphins. Despite making it to the AFC championship game the past two years in a row, the Jets have started the year with a less than stellar 2-3 record, and are in desperate need of a win against the 0-4 Dolphins, who have won their last 3 road games against the Jets.
(We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let’s go to work.)
With his come from behind performance against Gray Maynard at UFC 136, lightweight champion Frankie Edgar has quickly become one of the more inspirational figures in the sport, so much so that last night, he was called upon by the always inconsistent New York Jets to provide some much needed inspiration heading in to their Monday night match against their long time rival, the Miami Dolphins. Despite making it to the AFC championship game the past two years in a row, the Jets have started the year with a less than stellar 2-3 record, and are in desperate need of a win against the 0-4 Dolphins, who have won their last 3 road games against the Jets.
If this scenario sounds familiar, it may be because last November, Edgar was asked to light a similar fire underneath the Jets before their week 11 game with the Houston Texans. The Jets were able to walk away with a unanimous 30-27 nod across the board thanks to Edgar’s efforts…and a touchdown with 10 seconds remaining in the game. Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez stated that the champ provided some much needed words of wisdom leading into their victory:
The guy is barely taller than this podium, and this guy, he beats BJ Penn in a UFC Championship bout.Everybody counted him out. They wanted a rematch, and then he went back and beat him even worse. Talk about a guy who’s mentally tough, physically tough. He came in and spoke to the team last night. Perfect timing. Just talking about never giving up, being counted out, playing until the end, fighting and believing in yourself, believing in your team and the people around you. Those were the only people telling him he could win the fight. Everybody else counted him out.
There is no word yet on whether or not Edgar laid out a specific game plan for the Jets, but my guess is it would be something like this:
1. Let the Jets score 4 or 5 touchdowns in the first quarter. Seriously, just let them beat the ever loving shit out of you.
2. ???????
3. Profit
Then again, Edgar could just be teaching Jet’s coach Rex Ryan, an avid MMA fan, some moves for the post game handshake in case Tony Sparano tries anything funny. As a Dolphins fan I can only hope that Edgar’s power remains inside the ring this time around.
(The knockout comes so quickly, they’ve replayed it for you a dozen times at the end. Video: YouTube/TheHypoparody)
Former UFC fighter (sigh)Kimbo Slice threw his second punch as a professional boxer last night, and with it he secured his second victory. I’ll say this for the bearded one: he’s efficient. For those thinking that Slice has the “sweet science” figured out, I would contend that his management and promoters are the ones wearing the lab coats. Their formula? Take one-part YouTube legend, mix with one part Glass Joe, agitate for 20 seconds, and call it a night.
Kimbo’s first opponent, James Wade, was an impressive 0-1 when he fell to a single bread-bomb in just 17 seconds. Last night, Slice was paired against the more formidable Tay Bledsoe, who stepped into the ring two wins under his belt. Sure, he’d also been knocked out thrice, in the three bouts leading up to the Kimbo fight, with two of those losses coming in under two minutes, but who’s counting? Slice dropped Bledsoe cold with an overhand right just 1:52 into the bout.
The hand speed, the footwork, are we looking at Sugar Ray Slice?
(The knockout comes so quickly, they’ve replayed it for you a dozen times at the end. Video: YouTube/TheHypoparody)
Former UFC fighter (sigh)Kimbo Slice threw his second punch as a professional boxer last night, and with it he secured his second victory. I’ll say this for the bearded one: he’s efficient. For those thinking that Slice has the “sweet science” figured out, I would contend that his management and promoters are the ones wearing the lab coats. Their formula? Take one-part YouTube legend, mix with one part Glass Joe, agitate for 20 seconds, and call it a night.
Kimbo’s first opponent, James Wade, was an impressive 0-1 when he fell to a single bread-bomb in just 17 seconds. Last night, Slice was paired against the more formidable Tay Bledsoe, who stepped into the ring with two wins under his belt. Sure, he’d also been knocked out thrice, in the three bouts leading up to the Kimbo fight, with two of those losses coming in under two minutes, but who’s counting? Slice dropped Bledsoe cold with an overhand right just 1:52 into the bout.
The hand speed, the footwork, are we looking at Sugar Ray Slice?
(“The Glimmer Man” trying to pretend that he knows what the f*ck his new boss is talking about)
Well, Steven Seagal finally fooled someone into taking him up on his offer of unsolicited help.
The 59-year-old actor, who claims he was a CIA operative in the 80s and whose most recent stint as a peace officer, which was documented on his A&E reality television series Steven Seagal: Lawman, ended abruptly when he was charged with sexual harassment of his female assistant, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office’s newest deputy. Officials with the department say that his primary focus will be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas.
Seagal contacted Sheriff Arvin West two months ago to apply for work with the HCSO and according to him, he feels that his intentions were honorable.
“It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,” Sheriff Arvin West told the San Antonio Express today. “He’s like the rest of us that live down here; he has a sincere passion for his country and he wants to do more to help.The television aspect of what we’re doing here is the last priority.The man has a pure motive in doing this. He knows what we’re up against here and he wants to help.”
(“The Glimmer Man” trying to pretend that he knows what the f*ck his new boss is talking about)
Well, Steven Seagal finally fooled someone into taking him up on his offer of unsolicited help.
The 59-year-old actor, who claims he was a CIA operative in the 80s and whose most recent stint as a peace officer, which was documented on his A&E reality television series Steven Seagal: Lawman, ended abruptly when he was charged with sexual harassment of his female assistant, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office’s newest deputy. Officials with the department say that his primary focus will be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas.
Seagal contacted Sheriff Arvin West two months ago to apply for work with the HCSO and according to him, he feels that his intentions were honorable.
“It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,” Sheriff Arvin West told the San Antonio Express today. “He’s like the rest of us that live down here; he has a sincere passion for his country and he wants to do more to help.The television aspect of what we’re doing here is the last priority.The man has a pure motive in doing this. He knows what we’re up against here and he wants to help.”
Seagal was sworn in as the “deputy chief to the chief deputy,” a position that was created for the 7th Dan in Akido, who claims to have taught “his sons” UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida a few of the deadly techniques of the martial art. On Monday, he did a dry run as a border patrol agent and will apparently start his new gig, which incidentally pays $15-per-hour, some time in 2012.
“He got really a taste of what we go through down here,” department spokesman Gary Fleming said. “We ran about 50 miles of the border and Deputy Seagal got a chance to meet the community and where he’s going to be working.”
(Rashad gets booed. Forrest gets giddy.GIF courtesy of ZombieProphet)
We figured you could all use a little entertainment to help you through another case of the Mondays, so we’ve compiled a few of the weekend’s GIF-worthy moments for your viewing pleasure.
Enjoy more animated goodness after the jump.
(Rashad gets booed. Forrest gets giddy.GIF courtesy of ZombieProphet)
We figured you could all use a little entertainment to help you through another case of the Mondays, so we’ve compiled a few of the weekend’s GIF-worthy moments for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.
(Douglas Lima emphatically secures a slot in the Bellator welterweight tourney finals)
(Sokoudjou lands an illegal knee on Jimmo that was missed by the ref)
(Andre Pederneiras gives little Jose a sip of water)
For those of you who heard about Bas Rutten’s new series launching on FUELTV and thought it was some sort of Bully Beatdownrip off, then this new teaser trailer should ease you worries. Described as a “comedic, street fight survival series,” Punk Paybackpremiers Nov 2nd and from what I gathered is entirely devoted to continuing the awesomeness that we have been devoid of since “El Guapo” released his series of self defense videos. It’s safe to say that nothing has made me want a 3D television more than the possibility of seeing Mr. Rutten kick some 17 year old kid in the balls.
Check out an extended preview of the show after the jump.
For those of you who heard about Bas Rutten’s new series launching on FUELTV and thought it was some sort of Bully Beatdownrip off, then this new teaser trailer should ease you worries. Described as a “comedic, street fight survival series,” Punk Paybackpremiers Nov 2nd and from what I gathered is entirely devoted to continuing the awesomeness that we have been devoid of since “El Guapo” released his series of self defense videos. It’s safe to say that nothing has made me want a 3D television more than the possibility of seeing Mr. Rutten kick some 17 year old kid in the balls.
Below, we have a little more in depth look at the show, and by “in depth” I mean clips of Bas headbutting and kneeing groins on a loop.
If you can correctly guess how many spleens and/or kidneys Bas breaks over the course of the first season, we will give the names of the poor men’s families so you can offer your condolences. And maybe a shirt.
(Look into my crystal ball Kenny, and ye shall see thine future.)
There is a lot on the line at UFC 136. Not just the two titles and the future title match implications, but a chance for two men to finally capture the gold that has long eluded them. I’m speaking of Kenny Florian and Gray Maynard of course, who’ve both been chasing UFC gold for the better part of their careers, only to fall inches short of the finish line. For Gray, who many people felt deserved a title shot over current champion Frankie Edgar in the first place, it was the resilience of the champ that proved to be his undoing. And for Florian, it was just a terribly unlucky spell when it came to title fights. But come Saturday, both men will have a chance to erase our doubts and finally move up to that deluxe apartment in the sky.
Unfortunately, Florian and Maynard are not the only men who have felt the repercussions of looking directly into the belt. There are a few guys out there who just seem destined to be number 2 in a company that loves to fuck with the number 2. Anyway, we thought we would awkwardly point out six of them, excluding “Kenflo” and “The Bully,” from across the room for your reading pleasure. And we’re going by Brock Lesnar rules here, so interim belts don’t count. Enjoy.
(Look into my crystal ball Kenny, and ye shall see thine future.)
There is a lot on the line at UFC 136. Not just the two titles and the future title match implications, but a chance for two men to finally capture the gold that has long eluded them. I’m speaking of Kenny Florian and Gray Maynard of course, who’ve both been chasing UFC gold for the better part of their careers, only to fall inches short of the finish line. For Gray, who many people felt deserved a title shot over current champion Frankie Edgar in the first place, it was the resilience of the champ that proved to be his undoing. And for Florian, it was just a terribly unlucky spell when it came to title fights. But come Saturday, both men will have a chance to erase our doubts and finally move up to that deluxe apartment in the sky.
Unfortunately, Florian and Maynard are not the only men who have felt the repercussions of looking directly into the belt. There are a few guys out there who just seem destined to be number 2 in a company that loves to fuck with the number 2. Anyway, we thought we would awkwardly point out six of them, excluding “Kenflo” and “The Bully,” from across the room for your reading pleasure. And we’re going by Brock Lesnar rules here, so interim belts don’t count. Enjoy.
6. Jon Fitch
Poor Jon Fitch. Not only did it take the man 8 straight UFC wins to earn his first title shot, but when he finally got there, it got really, really ugly. Following his unanimous decision loss to George St. Pierre at UFC 87: Seek and Destroy, Fitch went on a five fight win streak, scoring wins over Paulo Thiago, Ben Saunders, and Thiago Alves, the latter of which was originally slated to be a number one contender match. After Fitch picked up another lackluster victory, Dana White changed his mind, proving the theory that he is truly a man of smoke and mirrors when it comes to title shots. Fitch’s hopes for another go at GSP were further crushed at UFC 127, when his fight with B.J. Penn went on to a majority draw. A rematch was originally planned to be rescheduled, but instead a match between Penn and Nick Diaz was put together, most likely for a number one contender spot. But if Fitch can impressively (re: finish) get past Johny Hendricks at UFC 141 in December, maybe he’ll finally earn the chance at redemption he deserves. But we won’t be holding our breath, because 15 minutes is an awfully long time to do so.
5. Jim Miller
The story of Jim Miller is not unlike that of Fitch. After dropping a unanimous decision to Gray Maynard at UFC 96, Miller went on a seven fight killing spree, scoring wins over Mark Bocek, Duane Ludwig, and Gleison Tibau, among others. But with the clusterfuck of contendership that is the lightweight division, it seemed that Miller would be passed over due to his lack of name power, despite the fact that he was knocking off every fighter before him in increasingly impressive fashion. It was finally at UFC Live: Lytle vs. Hardy that Miller was given a legit contender in former WEC lightweight champ Ben Henderson, in a bout that had title implications written all over it. Miller came up short however, dropping a bloody unanimous decision to “Smooth” and likely erasing his streak in the eyes of the UFC’s head honchos. Let’s just hope he doesn’t have to win another seven before he’s given another top contender.
4. Joseph Benavidez
Joseph Benavidez is in a tough spot a this point. Both losses in his seventeen fight career have come at the hands of current champ Dominick Cruz, and though he continues to knock off top contenders, it’s hard to believe he’ll be given another shot at the “The Dominator” anytime soon. And it’s a shame, because he arguably gave Cruz his toughest test to date in their battle back at WEC 50, which he lost by split decision. His refusal to fight teammate Urijah Faber only further eliminates any hopes of a clear cut number one contender, so where does Benavidez go from here? The biggest factor in Benavidez’s title hopes is that of his size, and until the UFC decides to add a flyweight class to their roster, Benavidez seems destined to be Team Alpha Male’s other number 2 man. Speaking of which…
3. Urijah Faber
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At one point in time, Urijah Faber seemed so beyond the abilities of the challengers he was facing as the WEC featherweight champion that people were clamoring for “The California Kid” to change divisions and seek another title. He was even given his own day for Christ’s sake. But then, Faber ran face first into the fist of Mike Brown, the impact of which was so devastating that it may have cursed him forever. His rematch against Brown was perhaps even more unsuccessful; not only did he break both his hands in the unanimous decision loss, but in doing so he ended the rumors that Brown’s original victory was a fluke. Things would only get worse, as Jose Aldo would soon become the featherweight champ and inflict the above damage to Urijah’s leg in his second failed attempt to reclaim his title. Faber soon found himself doing the only thing he could do, making the drop to bantamweight. And after a couple nice wins over Takeya Mizugaki and Eddie Wineland, he again found himself running face first into the frail but deadly hands of Dominick Cruz, dropping his third straight unanimous decision title bout. Though Faber (and a lot of us) rallied for an immediate rematch, it looks like Faber will have to get another couple wins before he can give the title another go. Fourth time’s the charm, Urijah.
2. Diego Sanchez
Diego Sanchez is probably in the worst position of any fighter on this list. For a while, he was the assassin of the welterweight division, dismantling the likes of Joe Riggs and Karo Paryisyan. Consecutive losses to Josh Koscheck and Jon Fitch effectively killed most of his hype, so after a couple wins against lesser opponents, Diego decided to drop to lightweight, where he picked up quality wins over Joe Stevenson and Clay Guida. The bout with Guida was so epic that Sanzchez was given a shot against B.J. Penn for the title. Sanchez was simply outclassed from the very beginning by Penn, who after dropping “The Dream” in the opening minute, went on to inflict the pictured cut on Sanchez and scare him out of the lightweight division for good. Sanchez packed the pounds back on for his return to welterweight, where he again found himself on the receiving end of a beatdown, this time compliments of John Hathaway. Luckily, Sanchez was able to rebound with victories over top contenders Paulo Thiago and Martin Kampmann, and again finds himself on the cusp of title-hood when he faces Jake Ellenberger at UFC 141. If he is unable to best “The Juggernaut,” then we could be looking at Sanchez’s long awaited return to middleweight in the near future.
And that takes us to number 1…
1. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria
We all know the story of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria, so I’ll make this short. Since winning (and then losing) the very first Pride heavyweight championship, it pains me to say that Nogueria’s career has dwelled on the outskirts of contender-ship. Fedor Emelianenko took Nogueria’s belt in his first defense, and with it he took Big Nog’s thunder for the better part of his career. Nogueria would fall again to Emelianenko in their eventual rematch, and when he came to the UFC, the interim title he choked Tim Sylvia out for was quickly taken away compliments of Frank Mir. A follow up victory over Randy Couture was soundly eradicated by a brutal knockout loss to current champ Cain Velasquez, and it seemed as if we had seen the last of the legend known as “Minotauro.” Well, shame on us. Nogueria was given rising prospect Brendan Schuab for his next challenge, and knocked that sum’ bitch out faster than we could pick the color scheme for his retirement party. Could we be witnessing yet another resurgence of Big Nog, this time capped off with UFC gold? One can only hope.
