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CagePotato.com Presents: The 2015 Potato Awards

By the CagePotato Staff (and a few friends)

2015 was a tough year for the Potato Nation…Nation. We lost our commanding officer, saw our budget slashed to ribbons, and suffered damn near every setback a mid-level MMA blog could suffer. There were times when it seemed that CagePotato would be forced to close its doors for good, or even worse, sell out and start writing “credible” “unbiased” and “truthful” stories rather than 500-700 word fart jokes masquerading as journalism.

But we’re still here, dammit, and while our prospects for 2016 may not be the brightest they’ve ever been, our continued existence will serve as a proud Stockton Heybuddy to everyone who’s been saying for years that we died the minute Old Dad left. So to kick off another year of hastily-researched shenanigans, we figured there would be no more appropriate a celebration than to deliver our year-end awards list, THE POTATO AWARDS, just one business week too late.

Use the page links below to scroll through our list of the greatest knockouts, the slickest submissions, and the most bizarre, f*cked up MMA moments that 2015 had to offer. A huge thanks goes out to all the contributors who made this possible, as well as those of you who have continued to stick with us through these tough times. To 2016!!!!!!!!!!

Page 1: Comeback Fight of the Year, The Steve Nelmark “Is He Dead?” Award, MMA Screen-Cap of the Year

Page 2: Worst Performance in a Drug Test, The Minowaman Freak Show Hall of Fame Award, Worst Event, Submission of the Year

Page 3: MMA GIF of the Year, Most Satisfying Beatdown, Worst Fight of the Year, Most Embarrassing Knockout

Page 4: Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year, The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year, Worst Use of Social Media, Greatest Fight Cancelled Due to Injury, Knockout of the Year

Page 5: WTF?!! Moment of the Year, Most Awkward Interview, The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision Award, MMA Fail of the Year, Greatest Hype Inflation

Page 6: Photo of the Year, Best Event of the Year, Fight of the Year

The post CagePotato.com Presents: The 2015 Potato Awards appeared first on Cagepotato.

By the CagePotato Staff (and a few friends)

Page 1: Comeback Fight of the Year, The Steve Nelmark “Is He Dead?” Award, MMA Screen-Cap of the Year

Page 2: Worst Performance in a Drug Test, The Minowaman Freak Show Hall of Fame Award, Worst Event, Submission of the Year

Page 3: MMA GIF of the Year, Most Satisfying Beatdown, Worst Fight of the Year, Most Embarrassing Knockout

Page 4: Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year, The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year, Worst Use of Social Media, Greatest Fight Cancelled Due to Injury, Knockout of the Year

Page 5: WTF?!! Moment of the Year, Most Awkward Interview, The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision Award, MMA Fail of the Year, Greatest Hype Inflation

Page 6: Photo of the Year, Best Event of the Year, Fight of the Year

Comeback Fight of the Year: Patricio Freire vs. Daniel Weichel at Bellator 138

It’s a scenario we’ve seen a thousand times before — Fighter A rocks Fighter B with a punch/kick/knee, gets overconfident, and walks right into a fight-ending knockout shot from his wobbled opponent — and yet it is NEVER NOT INCREDIBLE.

And this (last) year’s award for the Comeback Fight of the Year (aka the Kongo vs. Barry award)? It would be hard not to give it to Patricio “Pitbull” Freire, who went from nearly knocked out to knocking his opponent out in a span of roughly 30 seconds.

In the co-main event of Bellator 138, Freire was looking to defend the featherweight title that had long eluded him for a second time against Daniel Weichel, who was fresh off a career-defining win over former champion Pat Curran in the Bellator season 10 featherweight tournament final. Though he was mostly known for his grappling prowess, Weichel surprised everyone by flooring Pitbull with a hellacious combination in the closing seconds of the first round.

Sensing that his opponent was still on queer street, Weichel came out aggressive in the second round, pressing Freire to the cage and looking for the one shot to end it all. Unfortunately, aggression can come at a price when facing a knockout artist like Pitbull, and boy did it ever in the form of a short left hook. It was a dicknailing of epic proportions and a triumphant comeback for Freire, who would sadly lose his title to Daniel Straus later in the year.

The Steve Nelmark “Is He Dead?” Award: Thomas Almeida vs. Anthony Birchak at Fight Night 77

Thomas Almeida had a more violent year in 2015 than Joseph Stalin had in 1937. Save a brief hiccup against Brad Pickett, the Brazilian prospect was damn near flawless over the course of three fights, all of which ended via (T)KO inside of two rounds. He battered Yves Jabouin, butchered Brad Pickett, and topped off the year with a knockout of Anthony Birchak that was basically a shot-for-shot remake of the fight to which this category owes its name.

Seriously, take a look for yourself. The similarities are STRIKING.

Honorable mention: Frank Mir vs. Todd Duffee at Fight Night 71

MMA Screen-Cap of the Year: The “Flexibilty” of Reebok Fight Kits

Even if you’re not one for superstitions, it would be hard to look at Reebok’s hilarious, depressing #FightKit unveiling ceremony as an ominous sign of things to come. Between the obnoxious, overbearing, trying-so-hard-to-be-hip dubstep soundtrack and the awkward segues and fighter introductions delivered by Corrina Werkle, it looked like Reebok had maybe, just maybe rushed into this whole MMA thing a little quickly.

Of course, adding to this theory was the fact that the creative geniuses at Reebok had apparently neglected to run their presentation through spellcheck, resulting in the absolute nexus of stupidity pictured above.

The mistake, though simple, would be the tipping point for the litany of erroneous decisions made by Reebok in the following months. First, there was Giblert Melendez. Then, there was Anderson Aldo. Then, there was that shirt that pissed off the entire nation of Ireland. It’s been mistake after mistake for Reebok, and everyone from the fighters to the fans to the goddamn cutmen are letting them know about it…often at the cost of their careers.

The post CagePotato.com Presents: The 2015 Potato Awards appeared first on Cagepotato.

CagePotato.com Presents: The 2014 Potato Awards

(We tried to give the Potato Awards a classier vibe this year. We failed.)

By the CagePotato Staff

Look, you already know how we feel about MMA awards ceremonies: They’re meaningless exercises tainted by personal bias and stupidity, in equal measures. The only thing that makes the Potato Awards different is that we’re completely honest about the fact that our awards are biased and stupid. But it’s the end of the year, and we have to acknowledge that somehow, right?

Putting together this year’s Potato Awards list was a harrowing experience. Honestly, 2014 was an awful year for mixed martial arts. It was the year that the UFC’s pay-per-view business tanked due to injured stars and general disinterest among fans — what else is new, amirite? — while competing promotions stooped to terrifying depths in order to get your attention. (Not that the UFC didn’t do some of that, too.) 2014 answered the question “Could the UFC survive an entire year without Anderson Silva and GSP?”, and that answer was “yes, but just barely.” It was also a year in which domestic violence incidents involving MMA fighters became a tragic recurring theme (see: War Machine, Thiago Silva, Josh Grispi, Anthony Johnson, Michael Johnson).

But years from now, we may look back at 2014 as an important turning point, thanks to some major developments that took place near the end of the year. Notably, the UFC’s Reebok uniform deal is poised to transform the sponsorship landscape, while the Le/Quarry/Fitch class-action lawsuit and the related suits that came out in its wake could drag out some long-hidden truths about the UFC’s finances. We don’t yet know if these developments will turn out to be good or bad overall, but MMA could be a lot more interesting in 2015.

As we enter a new year, let’s look back at the past 12 months that got us here — the highs, the lows, and the moments that were so “WTF?!” that they defy all judgment. Use the page links below to peruse our mostly-chronological list of 38 award categories, and thanks so much for sticking with CagePotato for another year.

Page 1: Comeback Fight of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, MMA Screen-Caps of the Year, “Just Bleed” MMA Superfan of the Year Award

Page 2: Worst Performance in a Drug Test, The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Worst Event of the Year, Sponsor of the Year

Page 3: Submission of the Year, MMA GIF of the Year, Worst Fight of the Year, Most Embarrassing Knockout of the Year

Page 4: Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year, Catchphrase of the Year, The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award, Greatest Fight Canceled Due to Injury, Best Reference to Medieval Europe in MMA

Page 5: Knockout of the Year, Photo of the Year, Media Shill of the Year, Most Awkward Interview, Most Satisfying Beatdown

Page 6: The Gilbert Yvel Award for Outstanding Creativity in a Cheating Performance, Greatest Hype Inflation, Best Use of Social Media, Best MMA Personality Appearance in a Non-MMA Setting

Page 7: Most Bizarre News Story of the Year, The “Really? You’re Just Gonna Keep Doing That Shit That Gets You in All That Trouble?” Award a.k.a. “The Koppenhaver”, Best Event of the Year, The Minowaman Freak Show Hall of Fame Award

Page 8: Gnarliest Injury of the Year, Greatest Failed Propaganda of The Year, Worst Use of Social Media, MMA Fail of the Year

Page 9: Most Terrifying Game-Changer, Fight of the Year, “WTF?” Moment of the Year, Promotion of the Year

(We tried to give the Potato Awards a classier vibe this year. We failed.)

By the CagePotato Staff

Putting together this year’s Potato Awards list was a harrowing experience. Honestly, 2014 was an awful year for mixed martial arts. It was the year that the UFC’s pay-per-view business tanked due to injured stars and general disinterest among fans — what else is new, amirite? — while competing promotions stooped to terrifying depths in order to get your attention. (Not that the UFC didn’t do some of that, too.) 2014 answered the question “Can the UFC survive an entire year without Anderson Silva and GSP?”, and that answer was “yes, but just barely.” It was also a year in which domestic violence incidents involving MMA fighters became a tragic recurring theme (see: War Machine, Thiago Silva, Josh Grispi, Anthony Johnson, Michael Johnson).

But years from now, we may look back at 2014 as an important turning point, thanks to some major developments that took place near the end of the year. Notably, the UFC’s Reebok uniform deal is poised to transform the sponsorship landscape, while the Le/Quarry/Fitch class-action lawsuit and the related suits that came out in its wake could drag out some long-hidden truths about the UFC’s finances. We don’t yet know if these developments will turn out to be positive or negative overall, but MMA could be a lot more interesting in 2015.

Page 1: Comeback Fight of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, MMA Screen-Caps of the Year, “Just Bleed” MMA Superfan of the Year Award

Page 2: Worst Performance in a Drug Test, The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Worst Event of the Year, Sponsor of the Year

Page 3: Submission of the Year, MMA GIF of the Year, Worst Fight of the Year, Most Embarrassing Knockout of the Year

Page 5: Knockout of the Year, Photo of the Year, Media Shill of the Year, Most Awkward Interview, Most Satisfying Beatdown

Page 6: The Gilbert Yvel Award for Outstanding Creativity in a Cheating Performance, Greatest Hype Inflation, Best Use of Social Media, Best MMA Personality Appearance in a Non-MMA Setting

Page 8: Gnarliest Injury of the Year, Greatest Failed Propaganda of The Year, Worst Use of Social Media, MMA Fail of the Year

Page 9: Most Terrifying Game-Changer, Fight of the Year, “WTF?” Moment of the Year, Promotion of the Year

Comeback Fight of the Year: Dan Henderson vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua 2 at UFC Fight Night 38 (3/23/14)

(Photo via Getty)

Three words: HENDO. VERSUS. CORMIER. (I jest, but Hendo was involved.)

Despite the fact that their first encounter resulted in one of the greatest fights in UFC, nay, MMA history, there weren’t many of us who were chomping at the bit for a Dan Henderson vs. Mauricio Rua rematch when it was announced for Fight Night 38. Like Dumb and Dumber To, the bar had simply been set too high by the original for a sequel to ever live up to it, so fans approached the matchup with an overwhelming “meh.”

And through the first two rounds of the fight, our apathy seemed rightfully placed. Henderson looked every bit the 44 year-old fading legend that he was, getting flash KO’d by the 33 year-old Rua (who himself is approximately 85 in fight years) on no less than three separate occasions. We were watching a man’s career come to an end in real time, or so we thought, and the best thing that Henderson could do would be to just stay the f*ck down already and go out with some dignity.

But there’s a reason Dan Henderson is, well, Dan Henderson, and the rest of us are Lewis Skolnick in comparison. It’s called the H-Bomb — a fabled right hand that was bestowed upon Hendo by Thor himself according to the ancient texts — and it essentially acts as a failsafe should Henderson ever find his back against a wall. It is the great equalizer, and roughly one and a half minutes into the third round, Henderson used it to equalize Shogun’s nose into a million pieces.

It was an absolutely insane comeback for Henderson, a lightning strike TKO that snapped an unprecedented three-fight skid and earned him unanimous praise from fans, fighters, and critics alike.

“Dan Henderson has just surpassed John Wayne, Chuck Norris, and Tom Selleck as the most American man in history.” – Tim Kennedy

“What a fight! Tune into UFC on FOX for my objective analysis!” – Ariel Helwani

“A punch so powerful that it made my jaw hurt. My jaw.” – Roger Ebert from beyond the grave

In short, never count Dan Henderson out. Unless he’s fighting Daniel Cormier.

– Jared Jones

Honorable mentions: Abel Trujillo vs. Jamie Varner, Matt Brown vs. Erick Silva

The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award: Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Roy Nelson at UFC Fight Night 39 (4/11/14)

I would say that watching Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Roy Nelson was like spotting a car accident moments before it was about to happen, but that doesn’t quite do it justice. Because even if you happen to…er…happen upon the scenario I just mentioned, chances are that you only get a few second buffer before everything gets all-

Really, Nog vs. Nelson was more like watching a Paranormal Activity movie. You walked into it with a stomach-turning sense of trepidation, and knew from the moment that the opening credits rolled rolling that something terrible was going to happen to at least of the people on screen. From there, it was just an endurance test — an agonizing, dread-filled slog toward death where everything is silent and time seems to stand still.

Roy Nelson is called “Big Country” for a multitude of reasons, the least of which being that he has never been considered the fastest man at 265 lbs. But compared to Nogueira — who appeared to have dipped his gloves and legs in concrete before stepping into the Octagon that night — Nelson was nothing short of Usain Bolt with a beer gut. For three and a half excruciating minutes, we were forced to watch a PRIDE legend and former interim champion serve as target practice to an IFL champion and TUF winner, until it inevitably happened.

Us Nogueira fans have witnessed some heartbreaking moments in recent years — the Velasquez fight, the Mir fights, the Werdum fight — but nothing quite compares to the night our hero was mummified by Rubeus Hagrid. And while it’s true that Big Nog may not have actually died that night, I sure as hell did. On the inside.

– Jared Jones

Honorable mentions: The drooling tornado kick victim, Raquel Pennington drops Ashlee Evans-Smith’s broken corpse on the public square for all to see, Melvin Manhoef goes out on his sword (again) vs. Joe Schilling

MMA Screen-Caps of the Year: Gabi Garcia on TUF Brazil

Jesus Christ, take that thing back to Baltimore. By the time this surreal moment aired on TUF Brazil 3, BJJ champion Gabi Garcia had already failed a drug test for Clomiphene, confirming our suspicions that her 24-inch pythons were earned with a little hormonal help. A month later, Wanderlei Silva was surprised with a random drug test of his own and responded by fleeing out of the side door of his gym; as a result, he caught a lifetime ban from the NSAC. But here they are on the set of a reality show, having a conversation about drive, determination, and being a role model to women. And meanwhile, Gabi looks like she could crush an apple in either one of her hands. So yeah, it was a little ironic in retrospect.

Honorable mentions: Chris Nelson‘s incredible ongoing tribute to MMA faces; this classic, which has been our Facebook header image since August; the one they call Berz Dog

– Ben Goldstein

“Just Bleed” MMA Superfan of the Year Award: Chuck Liddell Costume Guy (5/10/14)

It’s easy to be cynical about MMA. And it would be easy to be cynical about a guy who dresses up in a Chuck Liddell costume in an attempt to get on TV and meet Dana White and a bunch of fighters.

But look at that thing. It’s marvelous. And he times his Chuck Liddell victory pose perfectly with the crane camera that’s flying through.

Yeah, Greg Insco seems like a bit of a goober who sends the same photo to Jeff Probst and Mark Burnett over and over, but for one night he made MMA fun for a lot of people. You keep doing you, Greg.

– Mike Fagan

Honorable mention: Drunk dancing doofus at UFC Halifax

CagePotato.com Presents: The 2013 Potato Awards

(These are the UFC’s two most bankable stars heading into 2014. Deal with it.)

2013: The year that testosterone became Public Enemy #1 and legends went out the door — either voluntarily or on stretchers. Like all years in this still-young, still-dangerous sport, 2013 reminded us why MMA continues to hold our attention, with its thrilling battles, LOL-worthy embarrassments, and train-wrecks of the human and promotional varieties. And so, the CagePotato staff bids farewell to 2013 with another round of dubious “awards,” recapping the highs and lows of the last 12 months. For better or worse, this is the crap that stood out. Use the page links below to navigate through our somewhat-chronological list of 30 award-categories, and Happy New Year to all of you lovely people!

Page 1: Submission of the Year, Greatest MMA Play-by-Play Call of the Year, The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award / Most Bizarre News Story of the Year, Knockout of the Year

Page 2: Greatest Fight Canceled Due to Injury, Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year, Worst Event of the Year, Best Female Newcomer

Page 3: Worst Fight of the Year, The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Comeback Fighter of the Year, Worst Use of Social Media

Page 4: “WTF?” Moment of the Year, Greatest Hype-Deflation, The “Really? You’re Just Gonna Keep Doing That Shit That Gets You in All That Trouble?” Award (a.k.a. “The Koppenhaver”), Comeback Fight of the Year

Page 5: Most Embarrassing Knockout of the Year, Failed Propaganda of the Year, Fight of the Year, Photo of the Year

Page 6: The Inaugural Kalib Starnes Award for Outstanding Cowardice in Battle, Media Shill of the Year, Best Event of the Year, Worst Performance in a Drug Test

Page 7: The Dana White Crazy Freakout of the Year Award, Catchphrase of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, Most Awkward Interview

Page 8: Gnarliest Injury of the Year, MMA Fail of the Year

(These are the UFC’s two most bankable stars heading into 2014. Deal with it.)

Page 1: Submission of the Year, Greatest MMA Play-by-Play Call of the Year, The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award / Most Bizarre News Story of the Year, Knockout of the Year

Page 2: Greatest Fight Canceled Due to Injury, Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year, Worst Event of the Year, Best Female Newcomer

Page 3: Worst Fight of the Year, The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Comeback Fighter of the Year, Worst Use of Social Media

Page 5: Most Embarrassing Knockout of the Year, Failed Propaganda of the Year, Fight of the Year, Photo of the Year

Page 6: The Inaugural Kalib Starnes Award for Outstanding Cowardice in Battle, Media Shill of the Year, Best Event of the Year, Worst Performance in a Drug Test

Page 7: The Dana White Crazy Freakout of the Year Award, Catchphrase of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, Most Awkward Interview

Page 8: Gnarliest Injury of the Year, MMA Fail of the Year

Submission of the Year: Olivier Fontaine’s Hurricane Armbar (2/9/13)

Without any flashy submission finishes in any of the major MMA organizations, CagePotato had to travel to France to find this year’s best sub.

In February, Olivier Fontaine entered a Lyon Fighting Challenge ring as an unknown. With zero submission victories on his unimpressive 3-2 record, nobody could have expected the French welterweight to pull off one of the most spectacular subs we’ve ever seen.

The first two minutes of his bout against Sofian Benchohra suggested that it would play out like your average standup battle. Fontaine and Benchohra circled each other, exchanging strikes and feeling one another out. When a lazy kick was caught by Benchohra, Fontaine stumbled around on one foot trying to keep his balance. What happened next was unprecedented.

With one foot suspended, Fontaine propelled his entire body around the head of his opponent before swinging back towards the mat and locking up his opponent’s arm, subsequently forcing the tap. It was an unbelievable submission, something never before seen in the sport and unlikely to ever be repeated. It looked more like something Tony Jaa or Jet Li might choreograph for one of their action flicks than something that could happen in a real life fight.

Even if Fontaine never amounts to anything in MMA (evidence suggests this is the most likely scenario), he can take pride in the fact that he won a Potato Award for Submission of the Year. Hooray? – Shawn Smith

Honorable mention: Rose Namajunas hitting a flying armbar of her own in just 12 seconds against Kathina Catron at Invicta 5 in April — while decked out in CagePotato logos.

Greatest MMA Play-by-Play Call of the Year (And Possibly of the Decade): Michael Schiavello Has a Few Things to Say About His Anus (3/22/13)

In case you were confused the first time you saw this, let’s be perfectly clear: This is not unintentional comedy. Michael Schiavello is a master of the combat sports one-liner, and he knew exactly what he was doing here. A fighter whose last name sounds like “my anus” is a fastball down the middle for The Voice, and he is going to knock that fucker out of the park every time. Even the usually-stoic Pat Miletich can’t help breaking into giggles as he delivers the line “Mainus is bleeding all over Chavez’s chest.” In the end, Mainus was screwed by the judges, losing a split decision. See? Hilarious! – Ben Goldstein

The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award / Most Bizarre MMA News Story of the Year: Charles Rowan Fakes Own Death, Robs Gun Store With a Hammer

(Mugshots via Yahoo!)

Despite Jason “Mayhem” Miller‘s best efforts, neither of these awards was even close. In what reads like something out of a Hollywood screenplay, ~~middling~~ terrible heavyweight fighter Charlie Rowan died in a car crash then proceeded to posthumously rob a gun store with a hammer (successfully!) in order to pay off an $80,000 debt to a local drug dealer. Rowan, who had faked his death — duh — and even listened to his own “wake” while hiding upstairs in an attic, was apprehended shortly thereafter along with his girlfriend Rosalinda Martinez. Rowan was sentenced to 17 to 40 years in prison, but not before pissing off the entire local MMA community in Traverse City, Michigan, which had gone out of its way to hold fundraisers for his parents and girlfriend. (And presumably, the drug dealer is still out $80,000. Poor guy.) To Rowan’s credit, he was able to score a feature article in the New York Times and — more importantly — two Potato awards to his name. – George Shunick

Honorable mentions: Josh Rosenthal catches three years in prison for running a $6,000,000 pot ring, Mayhem Miller’s endless string of arrests, Donald Cerrone’s boat rage incident, Reza Madadi’s handbag caper

Knockout of the Year: Vitor Belfort vs. Luke Rockhold at UFC on FX 8 (5/18/13)

When it comes down to choosing Knockout of the Year in 2013 in MMA, there are really only two options to consider: Chris Weidman’s stunning KO of Anderson Silva in the main event of UFC 162, and Vitor Belfort’s spinning heel kick KO of Luke Rockhold at UFC on FX 8. And choosing one or the other just depends on if you favor significance or flash.

If you choose Weidman’s KO of Silva, you’re taking the significance of the moment into account more than the uniqueness of the knockout. After all, Silva was the long-reigning champion of the UFC middleweight division and had gone nearly 40 fights in his career without being knocked out, so for Weidman to enter the Octagon that night and exit with the title based off a KO that absolutely no one in the MMA world saw coming, it was nothing short of amazing.

Then again, it was just a simple left hook landed on a guy who had his hands by his waist. Removed from its context, there wasn’t really anything flashy or explosive about it. And that’s why I’m going to choose Belfort over Rockhold — perhaps controversially — for my pick for Knockout of the Year in 2013.

We all knew Belfort had vicious KO power in his hands, but it wasn’t until 2013 that we all realized he had KO power in his legs, too. Despite being one of the premier knockout artists in the history of the sport, Belfort had never scored a head kick knockout despite competing in 31 career pro fights before this year. In fact, out of Belfort’s 14 knockout wins prior to 2013, all 14 of them came via his fists.

So when he took on Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 and finished the Count with a flush high kick right to Bisping’s skull, we figured that might be the only time Belfort would land a highlight-reel head kick KO for the rest of his career; he’s 36 years old, after all. But it certainly wasn’t, because in his next fight against Rockhold, he not only landed a head kick KO, but he managed to top his stoppage of Bisping with one of the most stunning finishes ever seen in the sport of mixed martial arts.

Shockingly, Belfort was actually the underdog in his fight against Rockhold, who was making his Octagon debut at UFC on FX 8 as the last-ever Strikeforce middleweight champion. Many sharp observers of the sport believed that Rockhold — with his natural gifts of size, strength, length, and athleticism, and a learned skillset of great wrestling, BJJ and striking — would come into Brazil and wear out Belfort over the course of five rounds and get the W. Factoring in his superior gas tank, as well as the fact he’s much younger than Belfort, it was hard to disagree with that line of thinking.

Although Belfort had tried the spinning heel kick early in the fight with Rockhold, he missed badly. It seemed unlikely that he’d throw it again, and virtually impossible that he would actually land it flush on Rockhold’s face. But he did just that, and just 2:32 into the first round of a five-round fight, Rockhold was knocked to the ground with one of the most vicious, unpredictable strikes ever seen in a mixed martial arts cage, and then quickly finished off with some brutal ground and pound.

With the win, Belfort became the first fighter in UFC history to win two fights in a row via head kick KO. He also became the poster boy for Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT), and while I do think it’s insane that a past steroid user like Belfort is allowed to use TRT, the fact of the matter is he is not breaking any of the sport’s existing rules and he shouldn’t be penalized for a loophole created by athletic commissions. That’s why I have no problem giving him the Knockout of the Year Potato Award, even though I know many others believe the TRT taints his year.

Now 36 years old, Belfort looks like he’s in his fighting prime, and will challenge Chris Weidman for the UFC middleweight title sometime in 2014. Can he possibly top what he did to Rockhold in his fight against the All-American? After his latest head kick KO — yes, another one — of iron-chinned Dan Henderson in November, I wouldn’t put anything past the Phenom at this point. – Adam Martin

CagePotato.com Presents: The 2012 Potato Awards

As MMA gamely stumbles into 2013, we’ve once again decided to bestow meaningless awards to the fighters and moments that caught our attention this year. CagePotato’s crack team of writers spent all month nominating winners in 27 different categories, which we’ve loosely arranged in chronological order. Use the “next page” links to scroll through this monster, or click on the following page links at your leisure. And as always, thanks for putting up with us for another year. Here’s to bigger and better things in 2013, which shouldn’t be a tough goal to hit, considering.

Page 1: Knockout of the Year, Comeback Fight of the Year, Worst Performance in a Drug Test, ‘WTF?’ Moment of the Year

Page 2: The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award, Worst Event of the Year, Worst Fight of the Year, Best Fight of the Year

Page 3: The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Most Bizarre MMA News Story of the Year, The Dana White Crazy Freakout of the Year Award, MMA Twitter Photo of the Year

Page 4: Greatest Fight Canceled Due to Injury, The Minowaman Freak Show Hall of Fame Award, Most Satisfying Beatdown, Comeback Fighter of the Year

Page 5: MMA Fail of the Year, Catchphrase of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, Best Female Newcomer

Page 6: The “Really? You’re Just Gonna Keep Doing that Shit that Gets You in All That Trouble?” Award (a.k.a. “The Koppenhaver”), Gnarliest Injury of the Year, Best Event of the Year, Submission of the Year

Page 7: The Inaugural “Okay, It’s FINALLY Safe to Call This Guy Wasted Potential” Award (a.k.a. “The Filho”), Greatest Hype Deflation, Greatest MMA GIFs of the Year

Page 1: Knockout of the Year, Comeback Fight of the Year, Worst Performance in a Drug Test, ‘WTF?’ Moment of the Year

Page 2: The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award, Worst Event of the Year, Worst Fight of the Year, Best Fight of the Year

Page 3: The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Most Bizarre MMA News Story of the Year, The Dana White Crazy Freakout of the Year Award, MMA Twitter Photo of the Year

Page 4: Greatest Fight Canceled Due to Injury, The Minowaman Freak Show Hall of Fame Award, Most Satisfying Beatdown, Comeback Fighter of the Year

Page 5: MMA Fail of the Year, Catchphrase of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, Best Female Newcomer

Page 7: The Inaugural “Okay, It’s FINALLY Safe to Call This Guy Wasted Potential” Award (a.k.a. “The Filho”), Greatest Hype Deflation, Greatest MMA GIFs of the Year

*****

Knockout of the Year: Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim @ UFC 142 (1/14/12)

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Was there ever any question as to who would take this category? Edson Barboza’s spinning wheel kick knockout of Terry Etim at UFC 142 not only stands alone as the greatest knockout of 2012, but as one of the greatest knockouts in the promotion’s history. Sure, the stakes weren’t as high as some of the other knockouts you are surely reflecting upon as you read this, but from a technical standpoint, the way Barboza was able to send a legit lightweight in Etim — who had never been knocked out, BTW — crashing to the canvas like a narcoleptic goat was simply astounding.

On a scale of pure devastation, this one takes the blood-filled cake. For starters, it inspired the phrase “Falling Tree Knockout”, the single greatest way of describing a KO ever committed to the Internet. Secondly, it happened in January (and was actually the first UFC event of the year) and Etim has yet to step back in the octagon. You can blame it on injuries all you want, but I personally believe that Etim has spent the past year loitering London’s cobblestone streets, draped in a tattered shawl and silently muttering to himself that “Ne’eragin willis ‘appen, u domb cunt. Ne’er agin will some mud-slingin’ wanker bamboozle me in fronna me mates.” – Jared Jones

Honorable Mentions: Jamie Varner vs. Edson Barboza @ UFC 146, Marius Zaromskis vs. Bruno Carvalho

Comeback Fight of the Year: Tim Boetsch vs. Yushin Okami @ UFC 144 (2/26/12)

(Photo via Tracy Lee, Yahoo! Sports)

When we are talking about a fighter who was getting dominated for the entire fight before pulling a “W” out of thin air, the winner is Tim Boetsch when he faced Yushin Okami (Thank You!) back at UFC 144. The Barbarian was getting outclassed in epic fashion by a great jab and he was almost finished by Thunder with some savage ground and pound. Boetsch knew that he was way behind on the scorecards, and that nothing short of finishing his opponent would save him from leaving the Octagon with a loss. So early into the third round, Boetsch repeatedly landed brutal uppercuts and finished Okami via TKO. Then Joe Rogan jizzed in his pants and screamed like he just found a Wonka golden ticket when he said it “might be one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the UFC.” Well, it was the greatest come from behind victory in the history of 2012, at least.

Honorable Mention: Mike Swick had a “Comeback Fight of the Year” on two different levels. For starters, he returned to the UFC after two and a half years — yes, 30 months, almost to the day — because he was misdiagnosed with a stomach disorder, followed by a knee injury in August 2011. Swick made his return against DaMarques Johnson as the opening bout for the UFC on FOX 4 broadcast, and after Johnson had Swick mounted and seriously hurt during the first round, Quick caught a kick and landed a savage punch that put Darkness on the unemployment line. Swick earned “Knockout Of the Night” honors and gave a passionate post-fight interview to the millions watching. Not only did he come from behind during the fight, Swick came back from a long layoff only to win in spectacular fashion in front of a national television audience. Double comeback! Unfortunately, that same national television audience saw Swick’s inspiring comeback come to a brutal end at the very next UFC on FOX show. – Nathan Smith

Worst Performance in a Drug Test: Alistair Overeem Sets a New Land-Speed Record for Testosterone (4/4/12)

(I’m number 1! / Photo via Mark J. Rebilas, US Presswire)

Another year, and another opportunity to take shots at The Reem. I could make a bunch of horse meat jokes, or get up on a soap box about how we need to see him fight for the title, or even go the way of claiming that Overeem’s obviously cheating ass doesn’t deserve to fight at the highest level of the sport. But I’ve already done that twice, and I’ve never been one to beat a dead, half eaten horse. (Ok, so maybe just one horse meat joke.) Instead, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite pastime — drugs.

With the rapid increase in TUEs given out and the apparent influx of pot heads — “legal” or not — in the UFC over the last year, it seems this category could easily be taken by any fighter who failed to file the proper paperwork. I could sit here and condemn those busted for smoking the sticky-icky, but that would be like Miguel Torres pleading with people to be more politically correct, and apparently my hypocrisy only goes so far. But what about all the testosterone exemptions that are being given out all willy-nilly? It seems to me that it’s only a matter of time before 90% of fighters are legally elevating their testosterone levels, if only to even out the playing field, which seems to negate the entire idea of fair competition in mixed martial arts.

But I digress. The fact is that Overeem is one of the top heavyweight fighters in the world, and fun to watch. His yearlong suspension is up, so he did the time for his crime, and with a win over Antonio Silva he’ll most likely become the number one contender for the ever-cursed heavyweight strap. So join us as we all collectively cross our fingers in hopes that the Dutchman can find some clean piss (I hear Sanchez is on the straight and narrow these days), and not fuck up yet another opportunity to challenge for the title. At the very least, let’s just hope he doesn’t end up in this same Potato Awards category next year. – Josh Hutchinson

Dishonorable Mentions: Cris Cyborg, Stephan Bonnar, Nick Diaz

‘WTF?’ Moment of the Year: Fighter Taps Out, Passes Out, Scores Second Round TKO (4/20/12)

(Video via WarriorNationXFA)

Maybe we both have the same sense of humor, and are most easily entertained by insanity. Not so much Hangover-esque ridiculousness (although that movie rocks), but rather something more dry and subtle, like the humor found in episodes of Flight of the Conchords or Trailer Park Boys, or the Hanson brothers from Slap Shot. Actual jokes in those examples are few and far between, yet they’re funny simply because the situations presented are so absurd and so pathetic, yet treated with the utmost sincerity. There’s no winking at the cameras — everything is really happening, and the characters involved are reacting as if there’s nothing strange about any of it. There’s no need for jokes, the entire premise is the punchline.

Which I guess is why I laughed at this clip the first time I saw it. This whole incident feels like a scene from a mockumentary about a small-time MMA promotion from the early 2000s. From the unnecessarily dramatic Tale of the Tape, to the Not-Quite-Buffer handling ring announcing duties, who awkwardly reads everything off of his notes, to the disturbingly incompetent referee, to the doctor who probably realizes that there’s nothing safe about having a seizure, but assumes that it’s all part of the sport and lets the Tapout-clad bros override his judgment, to the guy who was just seizing on the ground winning the fight by knockout minutes later, to the crowd who cheers everything that happens as if it’s just another run-of-the-mill fight, this situation just seems too insane to be treated as an actual event.

Then it hit me that this fight eventual no-contest was a real thing that happened in 2012. Ever since that revelation, the only thought I have about this clip has been what the actual fuck.

Honorable (I guess?) Mentions: Rampage Jackson’s completely undeserved reputation as a funny-man takes a ludicrous twist, whatever the ultimate balls is going on here, people were disgusting enough to make Toddler Fight Club (twice), Dancing with the Stars officially becomes a Station of the Cross for the aging MMA fighter, pretty much everything Ken Shamrock did this year. – Seth Falvo

CagePotato.com Presents: The 2010 Potato Awards

If 2010 was a cold beer, we’d be down to the backwash. December puts all of us MMA-pundit types in a reflective mood, and this year gave us a double-crapload of big stories, insane fights, rising stars, and utter embarrassments to wrap our heads around. And so, we’d like to pay tribute to 2010 in the best way we know how — sarcasm and insults, mostly. Without further ado, here are 15 things we felt were worthy of some end-of-year recognition, Potato-style…

The Giant Silva Freak Show Award, presented each year to the match that’s made strictly for gruesome entertainment value; fighters should ideally exhibit a tremendous difference in either size or experience level.
Winner: Randy Couture vs. James Toney at UFC 118, in which a tubby boxing champ trash-talked his way into a co-headling bout against an MMA legend, and got choked out before he was able to land a single punch. This marks the first time in eleven years that the Giant Silva Award hasn’t been granted to a fight held in Japan.
Also receiving votes this year: Herschel Walker vs. Greg Nagy

The Wanderlei Silva Unintentionally Homoerotic Smack Talk Award, known as "The Wandy" is presented each year to the fighter who, when trying to hype a fight, inadvertently makes reference to having gay sex with his (or her) opponent.
Winner: Josh Koscheck, for the utterly disturbing wild-eyed, tongue-waving description above of what he was planning to do to UFC welterweight champ Georges St-Pierre during this season of The Ultimate Fighter.
Also receiving votes this year: Matt Horwich, for his cringeworthy rant about how he was going to Mike Tyson 10th Planet protagonist Renato Laranja.

The Natasha Wicks Memorial Best Female Newcomer Award, presented each year to the up-and-coming MMA ring girl — preferably blonde, as per the bylaws — who gets us to forget about Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer, if only for a moment.
Winner: Rhian Sugden, the stunning (and frequently-nude) star of the U.K.’s BAMMA promotion.
Also receiving votes this year: Kelli Hutcherson, Stephanie Ann Cook, Brittany Ward, Melissa Jo