“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*
Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.
Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.
“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*
Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.
Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.
Dolce addressed Rampage’s comments about him over at BloodyElbow, and his version of the events plays out exactly as you’re assuming it does: Rampage feels he is the victim because Mike made him eat vegetables and didn’t want him to be such a fatass. You know, he was doing that thing that Rampage hired him to do. Clearly, Jackson’s tendencies to balloon up to 250+ pounds in between fights and not even try to take his career seriously are not at all to blame here, because that would imply that Rampage isn’t so much “the victim” as he is a whiner with a persecution complex.
I’d offer more insight here, but frankly, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones said all that needs to be said about Rampage in general on Wednesday’s edition of The Opie & Anthony Show, alongside fellow TUF coach Chael Sonnen:
If you’re only interested in Jones’ comments on Rampage, skip to the 5:05 mark, but know that you’re missing one hell of a segment.
“He’s a wuss. He has this tough guy persona, but he complains about anything that doesn’t go in his favor. ‘Oh, my contract. Oh, he wants to take me down, that’s not real fighting.’ He is such a baby,” said Jones. Something tells me that even the most stubborn Bones haters are nodding their heads in agreement right now.
No, the above image is not something that was drawn up by a 7 year-old Japanese schoolboy in between classes, nor is it Dr. Scholl’s experiment gone awry involving a rubber factory and an army of millipedes. The utterly ridiculous mishmash of trampoline springs and synthetic leather pictured above is actually the Rampage Jackson-endorsed Reebok shoe responsible for Page’s latest tantrum aimed at the UFC. I cannot emphasize enough that I am not joking here. On a Rampage-Jackson-alternative-business-venture scale of “Rampage Punch” to “Now shake it, *you* shake it, I wanna see that ass butt-naked,” I give it a solid “Transsexual rape video.” No, I will not go into further detail.
Set to hit the shelves on February 1st, the only thing more outlandish than the look of this thing is the 140 dollars it will cost you to pick up a pair. For one third of that price, I will gladly push you down a flight of stairs, trip you in a crowd, or use whatever method you prefer to achieve the sprained ankle you will inevitably suffer while wearing these moon shoes. Jackson says that the design was inspired by all terrain vehicles, but could someone please explain to me what sport or everyday activity these things could possibly be useful for? Or what group of people Reebok is trying to promote with these? Unless competitive hopscotching troglodytes are a huge undiscovered market that has just been waiting to be tapped into, I expect that these things will be filling the bargain bins at Reebok stores nationwide by Christmas. Anyone disagree?
No, the above image is not something that was drawn up by a 7 year-old Japanese schoolboy in between classes, nor is it Dr. Scholl’s experiment gone awry involving a rubber factory and an army of millipedes. The utterly ridiculous mishmash of trampoline springs and synthetic leather pictured above is actually the Rampage Jackson-endorsed Reebok shoe responsible for Page’s latest tantrum aimed at the UFC. I cannot emphasize enough that I am not joking here. On a Rampage-Jackson-alternative-business-venture scale of “Rampage Punch” to “Now shake it, *you* shake it, I wanna see that ass butt-naked,“ I give it a solid “Transsexual rape video.” No, I will not go into further detail.
Set to hit the shelves on February 1st, the only thing more outlandish than the look of this thing is the 140 dollars it will cost you to pick up a pair. For one third of that price, I will gladly push you down a flight of stairs, trip you in a crowd, or use whatever method you prefer to achieve the sprained ankle you will inevitably suffer while wearing these moon shoes. Jackson says that the design was inspired by all terrain vehicles, but could someone please explain to me what sport or everyday activity these things could possibly be useful for? Or what group of people Reebok is trying to promote with these? Unless competitive hopscotching troglodytes are a huge undiscovered market that has just been waiting to be tapped into, I expect that these things will be filling the bargain bins at Reebok stores nationwide by Christmas. Anyone disagree?
Then again, the existence of Movie 43 (and the millions of dollars it will likely make this weekend. Just watch.) proves that we as a society are still not capable of distinguishing good products from terrible ones, so I guess we should just start preparing ourselves for the herds of wobbly-legged wankers who will be stumbling onto subways across the country donning these beauties.
So how many of you Taters will be camping out in line for a chance to own a pair of Page’s signature kicks? Get it? Kicks?! Because he never throws any?
There’s an old proverb that goes “Learn to walk before you run.” I can think of no better way to better describe the ass-whooping you are about to witness. Apparently the gentleman in the blue shorts, packed to the brim with testosterone and hubris, thought that he had acquired the necessary skills to take on the Muay Thai instructor donning the green shorts and Alessio Sakara-esque tatts. Unfortunately, our boy Blue learned everything he needed to know about striking from a Bob Sapp highlight reel. When this kind of dangerous ignorance is combined with an unwillingness to admit defeat until you are slung over the ropes in a heap ala Rampage Jackson, well, you end up slung over the ropes in a heap like Rampage Jackson.
While it’s hard to knock a guy for his fearlessness, we would also like to inform Blue that there is in fact a middle ground between the heavy bag and Tong Po’s cousin to test your skills. Consider that while you’re eating cheeseburgers through a straw for the next week or two.
There’s an old proverb that goes “Learn to walk before you run.” I can think of no better way to better describe the ass-whooping you are about to witness. Apparently the gentleman in the blue shorts, packed to the brim with testosterone and hubris, thought that he had acquired the necessary skills to take on the Muay Thai instructor donning the green shorts and Alessio Sakara-esque tatts. Unfortunately, our boy Blue learned everything he needed to know about striking from a Bob Sapp highlight reel. When this kind of dangerous ignorance is combined with an unwillingness to admit defeat until you are slung over the ropes in a heap ala Rampage Jackson, well, you end up slung over the ropes in a heap like Rampage Jackson.
While it’s hard to knock a guy for his fearlessness, we would also like to inform Blue that there is in fact a middle ground between the heavy bag and Tong Po’s cousin to test your skills. Consider that while you’re eating cheeseburgers through a straw for the next week or two.
(Heading into his bout at UFC 144, Jackson found strength in the words of his former Shaolin master: “Ret ra rage fro froo you.” Ten minutes later, this happened.)
Rampage Jackson’s ongoing feud with the UFC — which we feel so far removed from that we’ve all but completely forgotten what started it in the first place (money? boring fights? stank bref?) — has clearly taken a toll on both his popularity and his fighting career over the years, as Twitter rants and rape videos are wont to do. After getting submitted by Jon Jones at UFC 135, Jackson showed up heavy, then got wrestlefucked by Ryan Bader when we last saw him, in a performance that would quickly be out-shined (not in a good way) by his hilariously awkward foray into the Japanese hip hop scene later that evening. Needless to say, it appeared as if the power-bombing, Liddell era-ending Rampage we all came to know and love was but a distant memory.
Jackson was then expected to finally bid the UFC adieu at last weekend’s UFC 153 event against Brazilian slugger Glover Teixeira, but then yada yada yada he got injured. Teixeira would go on to beat the ever-loving dogshit out of Fabio Maldonado, whereas Jackson would go on to eat the ever loving shit out of some chili cheese FRITOS. But after consuming those heavenly bits of artificially flavored corn and realizing that Teixeira was in fact a legitimate opponent to build his post-UFC resume on, Jackson quickly doubled back on his “I don’t care who I fight anymore” mentality and proceeded to call Teixeira out on Twitter:
Yo @danawhite set up that fight with Glover please! Lets give him what he wants..fans I won’t let u down #fightofthenight
Dana White quickly responded with “sounds good bro,” which basically means that this thing is a done deal. Basically.
(Heading into his bout at UFC 144, Jackson found strength in the words of his former Shaolin master: “Ret ra rage fro froo you.” Ten minutes later, this happened.)
Rampage Jackson’s ongoing feud with the UFC — which we feel so far removed from that we’ve all but completely forgotten what started it in the first place (money? boring fights? stank bref?) — has clearly taken a toll on both his popularity and his fighting career over the years, as Twitter rants and rape videos are wont to do. After getting submitted by Jon Jones at UFC 135, Jackson showed up heavy, then got wrestlefucked by Ryan Bader when we last saw him, in a performance that would quickly be out-shined (not in a good way) by his hilariously awkward foray into the Japanese hip hop scene later that evening. Needless to say, it appeared as if the power-bombing, Liddell era-ending Rampage we all came to know and love was but a distant memory.
Jackson was then expected to finally bid the UFC adieu at last weekend’s UFC 153 event against Brazilian slugger Glover Teixeira, but then yada yada yada he got injured. Teixeira would go on to beat the ever-loving dogshit out of Fabio Maldonado, whereas Jackson would go on to eat the ever loving shit out of some chili cheese FRITOS. But after consuming those heavenly bits of artificially flavored corn and realizing that Teixeira was in fact a legitimate opponent to build his post-UFC resume on, Jackson quickly doubled back on his “I don’t care who I fight anymore” mentality and proceeded to call Teixeira out on Twitter:
Yo @danawhite set up that fight with Glover please! Lets give him what he wants..fans I won’t let u down #fightofthenight
Dana White quickly responded with “sounds good bro,” which basically means that this thing is a done deal. Basically.
As Glover stated in his post-fight interview, he would love the chance to face a “motivated” Rampage, who he considers to be one of his idols (Author’s note: Dude, we need to find you some better idols.), so it looks like the rematch we’ve all been kinda sorta waiting for is looming on the horizon once again. Yayyyy…..
We’re not going to delve into this any further until the fight is actually booked, but now that Glover has established himself as a fighter worthy of a big name, this matchup seems to make even more sense than it did before. Agree or disagree? And while we’re at it, who you got?
(Who knew keeping your back against the cage was effective defense? This kept Vitor’s knee from ending up like Willis McGahee. Pic Props:Ryan Kightlinger)
Yesterday on The MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani, your all too friendly, neighborhood reporter-humping, cage fighter made an appearance. And, as per usual, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson left the MMA world with a lot to talk about after withdrawing from UFC 153 and using TRT to trading verbal jabs and “F*ck you!”‘s with former TUF 10 contestant, Matt Mitrione. What was more notable from the interview was Jackson’s criticism of light heavyweight champion Jon Jones and his dirty, dirty knee kicks.
Vitor took the fight on short notice, and this is how you respect him, by kicking his knee backwards and stuff like that? He’s supposed to be a man of God. You can injure somebody, you can sever their career. You can mess people up for life kicking their knee back like that and he does it repeatedly, over and over. To me that has no honor. I take a lot of honor in fighting. He has no honor.
The former Pride and UFC champion went on to question why the athletic commission even allow “stuff like that” to be legal, arguing that if Jones keeps fighting dirty like this, he’ll put everyone on the shelf and won’t have anyone left to fight. As it would turn out, he’s not alone. TheScore.com’s Adam Martin took to twitter to voice his displeasure of the use of linear kicks to the knee as well and reminded his followers that the CSAC already bans the technique.
(Who knew keeping your back against the cage was effective defense? This kept Vitor’s knee from ending up like Willis McGahee. Pic Props:Ryan Kightlinger)
Yesterday on The MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani, your all too friendly, neighborhood reporter-humping, cage fighter made an appearance. And, as per usual, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson left the MMA world with a lot to talk about after withdrawing from UFC 153 and using TRT to trading verbal jabs and “F*ck you!”‘s with former TUF 10 contestant, Matt Mitrione. What was more notable from the interview was Jackson’s criticism of light heavyweight champion Jon Jones and his dirty, dirty knee kicks.
Vitor took the fight on short notice, and this is how you respect him, by kicking his knee backwards and stuff like that? He’s supposed to be a man of God. You can injure somebody, you can sever their career. You can mess people up for life kicking their knee back like that and he does it repeatedly, over and over. To me that has no honor. I take a lot of honor in fighting. He has no honor.
The former Pride and UFC champion went on to question why the athletic commission even allow “stuff like that” to be legal, arguing that if Jones keeps fighting dirty like this, he’ll put everyone on the shelf and won’t have anyone left to fight. As it would turn out, he’s not alone. TheScore.com’s Adam Martin took to twitter to voice his displeasure of the use of linear kicks to the knee as well and reminded his followers that the CSAC already bans the technique.
Just because one state bans something doesn’t make it a good decision (yeah, I’m looking at you New York!). Remember the craziness surrounding the Adlan Amagov/Keith Barry fight on the undercard at Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman? Never would’ve happened if everyone fought under the Unified Rules – which allow linear kicks to the knee – but I digress.
You remember when Kenny Florian was in a bloodbath or two and some people wanted to ban elbows? It’s the same argument all over again. All opposed complain that the usefulness of the strike in question is limited and is simply doing more cosmetic damage or causing career altering injuries than actually getting the fighter closer to victory via traditional methods like a knockout or submission. Conversely, all proponents of the (mostly) legal tactics point to their effectiveness at rocking opponents or allowing a fighter to keep an opponent at bay.
Question: Who doesn’t like razor sharp elbows or discombobulating knee strikes? Answer: Anyone who has ever faced a fighter who used them and couldn’t find a way to stop them. Here’s another question for you: What makes the type of kick Jon Jones utilized against “Shogun” Rua and Vitor Belfort (let’s not forget Carlos Condit using them recently as well) any more dangerous than a heel hook? After seeing an injury like this, are you going to tell me you’re more worried about some dinosaur’s knee because of a simple kick? Didn’t think so.
I’m convinced there will always be percentage of the population that fully embodies the “Just Bleed” mentality. The idea that mixed martial arts is little more than a glorified street fight fuels their desire to see defenseless grounded fighters have their face caved in with a devastating knee to the mouth. These people crave gratuitous violence and if given their druthers, would award fighter’s bonuses for soccer kicking their opponents head into the crowd like a Mortal Kombat fatality. These people would set the sport back a decade if they ran the athletic commissions.
Supporting the tactical use of certain attacks, however “dirty” others may perceive them to be, does not qualify you as one of those people.
Watching world-class athletes square off in the Octagon to test their skills is not for everyone, after all it is still (for the most part) two guys balling up their fists trying to punch each other’s lights out. But if it is for you, there are far more threatening problems facing fighters today than the type of kick Jon Jones used against Vitor Belfort at UFC 152 on Saturday night. It’s time we realize fighters are going to get hurt from time to time and more often than not, the injury will occur long before his music hits the speakers. Stop worrying about guys getting jacked up during a fight and focus more on keeping him from getting sidelined during practice. (Yes, we’re talking about practice.)
I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-HendersonJones-SonnenJones-MachidaJones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.
Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.
I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-HendersonJones-SonnenJones-MachidaJones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.
Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.
