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The Ultimate Fighter Finale 14 Results: Analysis, Reaction and Recap

The finale of the fourteenth season of The Ultimate Fighter will take place on Saturday, Dec. 3, from the Pearl at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas. The main event will feature a middleweight bout between this season’s coaches, former TUF winn…

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The Ultimate Fighter Finale 14 Results: Analysis, Reaction and Recap

‘TUF 14? Episode 10 Recap: I’m Awesome, You’re Not

(Gentlemen, please. You can *both* eat dicks. / GIF via IronForgesIron)

After a compact ten-episode run, Spike TV’s final season of The Ultimate Fighter ended last night. So what did we learn? Repeating short phrases over and over again gives them more rhetorical power. “Fufessional” is just another word for dumbass. Karma visits upon every asshole.

But before we put this sumbitch to bed, we have two more semi-final fights to get through. John “The Snitchin’ Magician” Dodson is training for his bantamweight face-off with teammate Johnny Bedford, while Bedford blatantly creeps on him the whole time. Coach Mayhem decides he won’t corner either man, leaving that responsibility up to the assistant coaches.

Says Dodson: “I only got taken down once, by Prince [John Albert], and I’m never going to get taken down again.” But taking Lil’ John down is, in fact, Bedford’s gameplan. And he doesn’t think Dodson has the power to hurt him. Dodson giggles and poses in the face-off after weigh-ins. Once again, we marvel at how small this man is, and how he should really be competing at 125, if such a division existed in the UFC. And once again, his size disadvantage probably won’t matter one damn bit.

(Gentlemen, please. You can *both* eat dicks. / GIF via IronForgesIron)

And it’s go time already. Bedford remarks that Dodson likes to smile after getting hit, but he won’t be smiling in this one. Dodson’s rebuttal: “You ain’t gonna get me dog. You know why? I’m awesome, you’re not.”

Round 1: Bedford and Dodson both land with leg kicks and punches. Bedford fires a pair of high kicks. Bedford shoots in, Dodson defends. Dodson lands a lightning fast knee/punch combo. Bedford tries to clinch and Dodson launches a flurry of inside punches. Dodson sticking and moving, landing counters. Bedford tries to clinch again, but Dodson is too slippery. Bedford with a left. Dodson lands two leg kicks. Bedford clinches and throws some knees but eats a punch as Dodson escapes. Bedford finally gets a takedown, but Dodson is up and out. Bedford tries to swagger-jack Jon Jones with a rolling backfist that misses wide. Dodson fires a looping hook. Bedford dashes forward with a knee, but can’t grab on. Bedford goes body/head with punches. Dodson catches a kick and dumps Bedford down. Bedford gets up and Dodson seems to punt him in the nuts on the way up, but Bedford is unfazed. They scrap to the bell. “I lost that round, didn’t I,” Bedford asks his corner. Yeah, pretty much.

Round 2: Dodson in a great rhythm, landing his counterpunches and exiting. He slaps in an inside leg kick. Now Bedford catches a kick and slugs Dodson against the fence, forcing him to retreat. Dodson lands to the body. Dodson connects on a stiff left that drops Bedford, and follows it up with some wild masturbation punches until Bedford’s soul leaves his body. And so, John Dodson will be facing TJ Dillashaw at the TUF 14 bantamweight finals on Saturday night.

“He looked like a monkey trying to open up a coconut when he was bashing on Bedford’s head” says Louis Gaudinot, an observation that’s equal parts offensive and accurate.

The doctor asks Bedford where he is, and he guesses Ohio. Now what were you saying about Dodson’s power?

Back at the house, Diego Brandao menacingly sharpens a meat-cleaver in the backyard while Bryan Caraway chills in the hot tub, trying to not look terrified. As Coach Bisping puts it, ”Look, I’d be scared of the guy, and he’s only the size of my leg!” Brandao says something about weening TUF so ee can buy house for ees mother.

Caraway just wants to keep his guts on the inside of his body. According to his own calculations, he threw up before his first 30 MMA fights, but is currently riding a three-fight streak of not throwing up. The sport gives him such anxiety that he hates it sometimes. Mayhem tries to talk him down from the ledge. At the end of the day, it’s better to be a UFC fighter than a Starbucks barista. Unless you love coffee and hate fighting, in which case it’s worth it just for the employee discount.

Bedford steps in as the voice of reason: “I’ve seen Diego lose in person. He’s definitely beatable. Bryan’s one of the most experienced guys here.”

But now that his fighter is considered such a massive favorite, Bisping bravely offers to bet Miller $100 on the fight. You can tell that Miller doesn’t want any part of this, but since Bisping made the challenge publicly, in front of both fighters and their teammates, Mayhem gamely accepts.

It’s the last night in the house, and the guys are gettin’ cray-cray. Mayhem rides through the house in his undies. A beer-pong tournament ensues. Meanwhile, Brandao is getting pissed off because he actually has to fight the next day and all this ruckus is fucking with his focus. Still, an angel appeared to Brandao in a dream, and told him he’s going back to Brazil to help a lot of families for Christmas. So he’s got that going for him.

“The pressure’s just as much on him,” Bryan says, not sounding too convinced. Meanwhile, Diego is upstairs beating the shit out of a box-spring.

And here it is, TUF 14′s final battle…

Round 1: Brandao opens with high kicks. Caraway shoots in to clinch, Brandao defends and escapes. A big haymaker from Brandao glances off the top of Caraway’s head. Caraway shoots, Brandao sprawls. Big kick from Brandao. Caraway returns fire. Brandao tries a superman punch, Caraway grabs him and pushes him to fence. Brandao knees him off. Brandao lands a leg kick that spins Caraway around. Brandao with a body punch, Caraway with a left hook. Hard leg kick from Brandao. Caraway shoots and misses, Brandao makes him pay with punches. Brandao lands another hard leg kick spins Caraway 360 degrees. Brandao fires an overhand right, Caraway mimics it. Brandao launches a flying knee that drops Caraway. Brandao starts jackhammering punches from the top. Caraway does his best to move around on his back and avoid damage. Caraway finally gets up but he’s still dazed, and gets dropped by another punch. More ground and pound. Caraway is tough as fucking nails and won’t quit. He gets up again, Brandao slugs him and Caraway collapses to his back. Another punch from Brandao finally finds Caraway’s off button. That’s three straight first-round knockouts for Diego Brandao. He’ll meet Dennis Bermudez in the featherweight finals.

The first thing Brandao does after the fight is threaten to smash Bermudez for talking shit the night before, a charge that Bermudez denies. Bisping’s prediction: “Diego kills Bermudez and goes on to be a big star in the UFC.” Now that he’s in the finals, Brandao promises to buy his mom a house, get his brother out of the drogas, and change his life. Seriously? They’re still just paying you guys $10k/$10k, right?

Before it’s time to leave, Dana has the coaches rub their foreheads together in one last face-off before their live fight at the Finale on Saturday. “Welcome to the UFC, dickhead,” Bisping says. “Back to the little leagues after this. Go find another TV show to present.”

“I feel like my whole life has been building up to beat this one bully,” Mayhem says.

Come back to CagePotato.com on Saturday night for our liveblog of the TUF 14 Finale main card. The full lineup looks like this:

Main Card (Spike TV, 8 p.m. ET)
– Michael Bisping vs. Jason Miller (MW)
– John Dodson vs. T.J. Dillashaw (BW)
– Diego Brandao vs. Dennis Bermudez (FW)
– Tony Ferguson vs. Yves Edwards (LW)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
– Dustin Pague vs. John Albert (BW)
– Louis Gaudinot vs. Johnny Bedford (BW)
– Marcus Brimage vs. Stephen Bass (FW)
– Josh Clopton vs. Steven Siler (FW)
– Bryan Caraway vs. Dustin Neace (FW)
– Roland Delorme vs. Josh Ferguson (BW)

Bellator 59 Recap: Dantas wins Bantamweight Tournament, Heavyweight Finale No Contest

Eric Prindle vs. Thiago Santos, fight ending low blow comes at the 2:07 mark. All videos in this post props to IronForgesIron.com

Coming fresh off of Last week’s action packed show, Bellator looked to keep building momentum last night in Atlantic City, New Jersey. The good news for Bellator is that, for the most part, the card delivered exciting, entertaining fights. The bad news for Bellator? That above video not only happened, but was supposed to be this season’s heavyweight tournament finale.

Rather, this season’s heavyweight tournament ends with a controversial no contest. On one hand, it would be anti-climatic to name a number one contender by disqualification from to an illegal kick. On the other hand, if Santos was aiming for the inside of Prindle’s thigh, it sure didn’t look like it. Prindle will meet Santos again to determine a contender for Cole Konrad, although a date for their next meeting hasn’t been announced yet.

Eric Prindle vs. Thiago Santos, fight ending low blow comes at the 2:07 mark. All videos in this post props to IronForgesIron.com

Fortunately for Bellator, this season’s bantamweight tournament ended with a much more exciting, much less controversial fight. While Alexis Vila managed to push the pace and earn takedowns in the first round, twenty two year old Brazilian prospect Eduardo Dantas came back to take the unanimous decision victory. Dantas utilized his reach advantage to keep Vila at bay and threatened with numerous submission attempts in the second and third rounds. Dantas will meet bantamweight champion Zach Makovsky for a title shot next season.

Also of note, New Jersey native Kurt Pellegrino was knocked out in just fifty seconds by Patricky “Pitbull” Freire. Pellegrino got caught early, and appeared to be working for a takedown while the fight was called. The Atlantic City crowd began chanting bullshit, but after the fight, Kurt announced that he had lost “fair and square” and that this fight would be his last. At thirty two years old, coming off of a loss to a promising lightweight prospect, it’s hard not to believe Pellegrino when he says that he’s retiring for real this time. Thanks for the memories, Batman.

Full results, courtesy of MMA Junkie:

OFFICIAL MAIN CARD RESULTS

Eric Prindle vs. Thiago Santos declared a no contest (unintentional foul) – Round 1, 1:24
Patricky “Pitbull” Freire def. Kurt Pellegrino via TKO (punches) – Round 1, 0:50
Eduardo Dantas def. Alexis Vila via unanimous decision (29-28 x3)
Marcin Held def. Phillipe Nover via split decision (29-28 x2, 28-29)

OFFICIAL PRELIMINARY CARD RESULTS

Karl Amoussou def. Jesus Martinez via TKO (strikes) – Round 1, 2:20
LeVon Maynard def. Chris Wing via unanimous decision (30-27 x2, 30-26)
Lucas Pimenta def. Doug Gordon via knockout (elbows) – Round 1, 0:40
Scott Heckman def. Brylan Van Artsdalen via submission (standing guillotine choke) – Round 1, 1:38
Gregory Milliard def. Brandon Saling via unanimous decision (30-27 x3)

UFC 139 GIF Party: The Finishes

(Ryan Bader has so much power in his hands, he only has to punch in the general vicinity of your head to knock you out. / GIFS via IronForgesIron)

All the knockouts and submissions from UFC 139: Shogun vs. Henderson, in animated GIF form. Lots more after the jump.

(Ryan Bader has so much power in his hands, he only has to punch in the general vicinity of your head to knock you out. / GIFS via IronForgesIron)

All the knockouts and submissions from UFC 139: Shogun vs. Henderson, in animated GIF form. Lots more after the jump.

(Michael McDonald ensures that Alex Soto’s UFC debut is as short and brutal as possible.)

(And here’s that first knockdown again, in super slo-mo. Just beautiful.)

(Urijah Faber rocks Brian Bowles with the uppercut that he later credited to teammate TJ Dillashaw…)

(…then hands Bowles his freakin’ ass on the ground.)

UFC 139 Photo Update: Cung Le’s Nose Almost Looks Like a Normal Nose Again

(On the bright side, he’s now able to smell out of his eyeball. Props: MMAConvert)

Following his TKO loss at the hands (and knees) of Wanderlei Silva at UFC 139, Cung Le‘s nose rivaled Ryan McGillivray’s in terms of sheer cartoonish bustedness. Silva patted himself on the back after the fight, telling Karyn Bryant, “Right now with that nose, he’s going to make more money in Hollywood because now he looks like a more real fighter. He should thank me for making his nose look better.”

I’m sure the offers to play “Jacked-Up Looking Asian Gangster #2” are about to start flooding in. So what did Cung’s schnozz look like the next day? The big reveal is after the jump, via @CungLe185.

(On the bright side, he’s now able to smell out of his eyeball. Props: MMAConvert)

I’m sure the offers to play “Jacked-Up Looking Asian Gangster #2″ are about to start flooding in. So what did Cung’s schnozz look like the next day? The big reveal is after the jump, via @CungLe185.

The human body is an amazingly resilient machine, isn’t it? So now that we know Le didn’t have the juice to beat an aging legend, is there a place for him in the UFC? Should he get another fight lower on the middleweight ladder — or does he need a couple tune-up fights outside of the Octagon first?

Video: Fedor Emelianenko Snaps His Losing Streak, Outpoints Jeff Monson in Moscow

(Fight starts at the 2:38 mark. And is that Fedor’s new lady at the 29:22 mark? Alright, buddy. Upgrade. / Props: valetudorus via MMAMania)

It’s been a tough couple of years for heavyweight legend Fedor Emelianenko. First, a brilliant MMA strategist named Damian Demento went public with a groundbreaking strategy on how to defeat him, which involved putting the boots to Fedor’s belly and intentionally mispronouncing his name. Then, his next three opponents beat him by stoppage. Coincidence? I don’t know. You tell me.

What’s important is that Fedor finally got back in the win column on Sunday, winning a unanimous decision over American grappler Jeff Monson at M-1 Global: Fedor vs. Monson, in front of a crowd of over 20,000 at Moscow’s Olympic Stadium that included Vladimir Putin. The full fight video is above, which shows Fedor in more controlled, measured form than his recent appearances, choosing to stay on the outside and score with leg kicks and long punches for the majority of the fight.

Monson, unfortunately, had nothing for him. In fact, the only times the Snowman was able to get the fight to the ground is when he fell over after getting punched in the face.

(Fight starts at the 2:38 mark. And is that Fedor’s new lady at the 29:22 mark? Alright, buddy. Upgrade. / Props: valetudorus via MMAMania)

Monson, unfortunately, had nothing for him. In fact, the only times the Snowman was able to get the fight to the ground is when he fell over after getting punched in the face.

So, is Fedor “back”? Since we don’t know if he’ll ever face top-ten competition again, it’ll be hard to answer that question. He’ll reportedly return at DREAM’s New Year’s Eve show against Japanese judoka Satoshi Ishii (4-1-1), who most recently fought to a draw against Paulo Filho at Amazon Forest Combat. Full results from M-1 Global: Fedor vs. Monson are below.

– Fedor Emelianenko def. Jeff Monson via unanimous decision
– Daniel Weichel def. Jose Figueroa via KO, round 1 (becomes new M-1 lightweight champion)
– Alexander Yakovlev def. Juan Manuel Suarez via TKO, round 2
– Yuri Ivlev def. Jerome Bouisson via TKO, round 1
– Mairbek Taisumov def. Joshua Thorpe via KO, round 2
– Mikhail Malyutin def. Seydina Seck via KO, round 1
– Albert Duraev def. Xavier Foupa-Pokam via submission (triangle choke), round 2
– Salim Davidov def. Sergey Kornev via unanimous decision