(Steve Ramirez vs. Darvin Wattree @ Pure Combat IX. This is how you do it, folks.)
To turn somebody’s lights out with one shot is a thing of beauty — but to do it with the very first strike you land? That puts you on a whole ‘nother level of awesomeness. Our favorite first-punch MMA knockouts continue after the jump. Condolences to those brave, unfortunate souls who went through eight-week training camps just to get assed-out in less than 10 seconds.
(First-punch knockout, cheap-shot-style. The YouTube description tells us that these guys are cousins. Now that’s country.)
(Steve Ramirez vs. Darvin Wattree @ Pure Combat IX. This is how you do it, folks.)
To turn somebody’s lights out with one shot is a thing of beauty — but to do it with the very first strike you land? That puts you on a whole ‘nother level of awesomeness. Our favorite first-punch MMA knockouts continue after the jump. Condolences to those brave, unfortunate souls who went through eight-week training camps just to get assed-out in less than 10 seconds.
(First-punch knockout, cheap-shot-style. The YouTube description tells us that these guys are cousins. Now that’s country.)
(Chris Clements vs. Lautaro Tucas @ TKO 25. Let’s just say that Tucas’s gameplan wasn’t hand-crafted by Greg Jackson.)
Two former UFC vets trying to climb their way back into the big leagues stepped up one minor, insignificant rung this weekend. What both fighters really need right now is a string of victories, so the names of the men they faced aren’t as relevant as the wins themselves, which is fortunate because you’ve never heard the names of the men they defeated.
Former UFC champion Tim Sylvia took a break from bustin’ perps to climb back into the cage at last night’s “Fight Tour” card. Momentarily standing across the cage from him was Patrick Barrentine, a 9-6 submission specialist. Barrentine took the fight on three weeks notice after a two year hiatus from competition, so he may not have come into the fight as sharp as he would have liked. MMAGoss.com gave a quick recap of the fight, which saw “The Maine-iac” dump Barrentine to the canvas and end the fight via ground and pound in just under three minutes. This was Sylvia’s first fight back since his quick loss to Abe Wagner at Titan FC.
Sean McCorkle made it to the UFC with a big win streak and an even bigger mouth. Though his trash talking abilities do little good when no one’s listening, he did put his experience to good use as he dispatched Alex Rozman on Friday night at “Legends of Fighting 48: Mega”. I’m not certain how much notice Rozman had for the fight, but with a 1-13 record he could have been notified at birth and still not have stood much of a chance in this fight. Just 1:29 into the bout, Rozman tapped out to strikes for the second bout in a row (and third time in his last four fights). This marks McCorkle’s second straight victory since being cut from the UFC following his guillotine loss to Christian Morecraft.
Two former UFC vets trying to climb their way back into the big leagues stepped up one minor, insignificant rung this weekend. What both fighters really need right now is a string of victories, so the names of the men they faced aren’t as relevant as the wins themselves, which is fortunate because you’ve never heard the names of the men they defeated.
Former UFC champion Tim Sylvia took a break from bustin’ perps to climb back into the cage at last night’s “Fight Tour” card. Momentarily standing across the cage from him was Patrick Barrentine, a 9-6 submission specialist. Barrentine took the fight on three weeks notice after a two year hiatus from competition, so he may not have come into the fight as sharp as he would have liked. MMAGoss.com gave a quick recap of the fight, which saw “The Maine-iac” dump Barrentine to the canvas and end the fight via ground and pound in just under three minutes. This was Sylvia’s first fight back since his quick loss to Abe Wagner at Titan FC.
Sean McCorkle made it to the UFC with a big win streak and an even bigger mouth. Though his trash talking abilities do little good when no one’s listening, he did put his experience to good use as he dispatched Alex Rozman on Friday night at “Legends of Fighting 48: Mega”. I’m not certain how much notice Rozman had for the fight, but with a 1-13 record he could have been notified at birth and still not have stood much of a chance in this fight. Just 1:29 into the bout, Rozman tapped out to strikes for the second bout in a row (and third time in his last four fights). This marks McCorkle’s second straight victory since being cut from the UFC following his guillotine loss to Christian Morecraft.
“We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.”
There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.
Call ’em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.
Roman Candles: Clay Guida
Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.
“We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.”
There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.
Call ‘em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.
Roman Candles: Clay Guida
Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.
Snakes: Jon Fitch
Much like those awful expanding snakes, Jon Fitch‘s fights are predictably dull, and when it’s all over you’re left feeling like you just wasted your money. They stay on the ground and do not emit sparks, flares, any form of projectiles, or any sound, but may induce sleeping. That should sound familiar to anybody who has endured the cruel and unusual punishment of a fifteen-minute, semi-clothed preview of War Machine’s next film, also known as a Jon Fitch decision victory.
Does that say Brown Pride?
Tanks: Cain Velasquez
The UFC Heavyweight champion has much in common with the super elite tank fireworks. For instance, both are short, stocky, and pack a mean punch. Both prefer to end their wars decisively with a brutal finish. Moreover, neither is going to be steamrolled anytime soon. For the fans, there’s just nothing like seeing a complete beast like Brock Lesnar getting manhandled by the sturdy, stoic Velasquez.
Bottle Rockets: Shane Carwin
I’ll spare you from the incredibly lazy innuendo and instead offer up this little nugget; Shane Carwin’s best stuff lasts about as long as it takes for a bottle rocket to scream through the BBQ smoke, reach its apex, explode, and fall to the ground. Carwin always delivers in the first round but don’t expect much beyond that. Although the action is short-lived, the excitement and hype leading up to launch time is furious because we know something potentially incredible is going to happen.
Firecrackers: Jose Aldo
The Brazilian champion has shredded his opponents by going undefeated for nearly six years, leaving most of his opponents second-guessing why they even took the fight in the first place. Weighing only 145 lbs., this tiny explosive does severe damage to his opponents legs with his expertly placed kicks (*BANG BANG BANG*!) and jacks your face up with his crisp striking (*BANG BANG BANG*!). Just like the Black Cats pictured above, don’t let the size fool ya…one mistake can cost youdearly.
Sparklers: “Filthy” Tom Lawlor
I believe the phrase is “All Sizzle, No Steak.” Sure, his weigh-ins and entrances are flashy and entertaining, but the overall performances leave a little to be desired — kind of like the gas station sparklers your dad brought home when you were a kid. Still, it’s hard not to feel patriotic when watching them.
Catherine Wheel: Chael Sonnen
Legend has it that the firework got its name from an instrument of torture, the breaking wheel, on which St. Catherine was martyred. I’m not sure who that broad was or what that has to do with Chael Sonnen but I do know this: both are really, really good at going in circles, both literally and figuratively. Mr. Sonnen, as his PO calls him, and Ms. Wheel have that X factor that mesmerizes audiences leaving them wanting more. Despite their obvious limitations and shady past, you’d give your last dollar to see them one last time if the opportunity presented itself.
Smoke Bombs: Ben Askren
Ahh, the smoke bomb. You fail to do any actual harm, instead you’d much rather annoy the hell out of everyone in reach. Such a colorful little brat, full of spunk and enough sulfuric smoke to gag a dolphin. Similarly, Askren’s wrestling prowess envelops his hapless opponents causing them to retort to their high school wrestling knowledge — which by the way is weak sauce. Once you’ve been attacked by one of these bad boys you might as well give up any hope of impressing the ladies. C’mon, I mean look at the army dude above me. He just lost 10 bro points for being in the same picture as a purple haze. (That still beats getting dry humped for fifteen minutes by a white dude with a ‘fro though.)
Fountains: Diego ” The Vision” Sanchez
The Class 1.4G explosive is highly reminiscent of the very first Ultimate Fighter winner. I’m not suggesting that all Diego Sanchez is capable of is shouting as he cartwheels into the distance — that’s just one similarity among others. Of all the pyrotechnics one could legally obtain without being licensed by the ATF, fountains display the most heart. From the initial ear-piercing scream to the crackling sparks to the changing colors and shooting flares, they leave it all out there. Like Sanchez, they do everything they physically can to put on an unforgettable performance and make you get up out of your seat and cheer. Damn, they’d fly if only they had wings. The Vision may be mentioned in the same breath as the firework displays in Montreal, San Jose, or Honolulu but until then, we’ll gladly accept the fountain that is Sanchez and enjoy every breathtaking moment.
If you missed Keyboard Warriors Monday, hey thanks. Nice to know someone actually appreciates all I do to entertain you jerkfaces. For the rest of you: hey guess what i did?
Yup, prepare yourselves for KBW #3! In the aftermath of the weekend’s Strikeforce action, Dana takes the time to address the heavyweights, evaluate their performances, and fill them in on his short terms plans. And his long term plans. Say what you will, but Big Daddy White dreams big, son.
If you are interested in 100% made up conversations between characters that are mostly fabrications, come on in and enjoy. Feel free to comment your little hands off. If you don’t like comedy … well, i’ve got nothing for you.
Why do you keep coming here again?
[RX]
If you missed Keyboard Warriors Monday, hey thanks. Nice to know someone actually appreciates all I do to entertain you jerkfaces. For the rest of you: hey guess what i did?
Yup, prepare yourselves for KBW #3! In the aftermath of the weekend’s Strikeforce action, Dana takes the time to address the heavyweights, evaluate their performances, and fill them in on his short terms plans. And his long term plans. Say what you will, but Big Daddy White dreams big, son.
If you are interested in 100% made up conversations between characters that are mostly fabrications, come on in and enjoy. Feel free to comment your little hands off. If you don’t like comedy … well, i’ve got nothing for you.
Why do you keep coming here again?
As always, thanks to Christopher and those jokers at WithLeather.
Frank Mir has been in the UFC for nearly ten years now and is the longest contracted heavyweight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship today.Mir has became a mainstay in both the UFC and the top ten heavyweight world rankings over the last decade. He h…
Frank Mir has been in the UFC for nearly ten years now and is the longest contracted heavyweight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship today.
Mir has became a mainstay in both the UFC and the top ten heavyweight world rankings over the last decade. He has had his ups and downs but when the smoke has cleared Frank has always been there.
Saturday night, May 28, 2011, Mir defeated fellow Las Vegas native Roy “Big Country” Nelson by unanimous decision for his second straight win inside the Octagon. The win moved Frank back up the ladder and it is now assured that his next opponent will be a very tough challenger indeed.
This slideshow will highlight the five biggest career moments in the UFC for former two time heavyweight champion Frank Mir.
Former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Heavyweight Champion, Ricco Rodriguez, was recently apprehended for allegedly resisting arrest and assaulting a cab driver in an affluent Phoenix suburb. Rodriguez and his female companion hired taxicab servi…
Former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Heavyweight Champion, Ricco Rodriguez, was recently apprehended for allegedly resisting arrest and assaulting a cab driver in an affluent Phoenix suburb.
Rodriguez and his female companion hired taxicab service to drive them to a popular sports bar in the area. When the cab fare calculated to $75, the 33-year-old mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter was only willing to pay $20, as explained by Myfoxphoenix.com.
According to the Phoenix police, it wasn’t until Ricco’s companion was willing to pay the remainder, an argument ensued between the driver and the heavyweight fighter, in which the cab driver promptly called 911. The former champ then proceeded to grab the man and throw him to the ground.
At 6’4” and over 220 pounds, it took three of Phoenix’s finest to subdue the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) black belt, injuring one of them.
“It’s our policy to handcuff behind, that did not occur. He was struggling with the officers, flailing his arms… one of the officers was pushed against the wall, and we believe at that point he sustained a minor injury or cut to his elbow,” says Sgt. Steve Martos.
The San Jose-born fighter is now facing charges of assault and resisting arrest.
Ricco has seen his share of problems in the past, as he once tested positive for marijuana and cocaine and was suspended by the California State Athletic Commission (CSAC). Plus, he appeared on season one of the VH1 reality television show, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
Rodriguez’ last MMA bout was a unanimous decision win over The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) contestant, James McSweeney, on February 26, 2011. He is also currently on an 11-fight win streak.
ROLAND RISO MMAIDIOT.COM
Roland Riso is a contributing writer for Bleacher Report. All quotes were obtained from Myfoxphoenix.com.
