Skip to the 1:45 mark for Dana’s appearance. Props to reader Alan K for the video.
While the rest of you were watching football today (the American version, aka the one worth watching *chugs beer, initiates U-S-A! chant*), you may have noticed a familiar face in this week’s edition of Riggle’s Picks. No, it wasn’t one of us. It was UFC President Dana White, satirizing “Exclusive Access” sports websites alongside Rob Riggle.
Riggle hits all the standard punchlines about these types: Improbable rumors, Rex Ryan is a fat mess, that these sites are only in it for the money, Richard Simmons, the webmasters live with their mothers, Jewish guilt- you know the drill by now. But Dana White steals the show with his masterful performance as a homeless drunk, who serves as an incarnation of “Guy who can’t possibly have inside information spreading outlandish rumors that only internet trolls are dumb enough to believe.”
Skip to the 1:45 mark for Dana’s appearance. Props to reader Alan K for the video.
While the rest of you were watching football today (the American version, aka the one worth watching *chugs beer, initiates U-S-A! chant*), you may have noticed a familiar face in this week’s edition of Riggle’s Picks. No, it wasn’t one of us. It was UFC President Dana White, satirizing “Exclusive Access” sports websites alongside Rob Riggle.
Riggle hits all the standard punchlines about these types: Improbable rumors, Rex Ryan is a fat mess, that these sites are only in it for the money, Richard Simmons, the webmasters live with their mothers, Jewish guilt- you know the drill by now. But Dana White steals the show with his masterful performance as a homeless drunk, who serves as an incarnation of “Guy who can’t possibly have inside information spreading outlandish rumors that only internet trolls are dumb enough to believe.”
Dana White is perfect for this role, and not just because it helps promote the upcoming UFC on Fox card. The Baldfather has certainly made his frustrations known about the way that many media outlets cover his sport, so one has to imagine he really enjoyed the opportunity to portray them as money-hungry attention whores who listen to homeless drunks for advice.
We were not happy to read a report from MMA Weekly that TUF 9 vet Frankie Lester allegedly hit female fighter Cassie Crisano [Ed. Note: And former Hot Potato] while in a scuffle between her and his girlfriend, fighter Shanie Rusth Saturday night after the two women weighed in opposite one another for an amateur MMA card in Virginia. Come to think of it, we’re incensed by the possibility that a large, professional male fighter may have hit Crisano in the face, and it has nothing to do with the fact that her face is particularly pleasant to look at. That stuff just ain’t cool.
According to MMA Weekly ‘s Damon Martin, “The situation unraveled during a weigh-in between two women’s competitors, Cassie Crisano and Shanie Rusth. Lester was there supporting Rusth, who is his girlfriend.
We were not happy to read a report from MMA Weekly that TUF 9 vet Frankie Lester allegedly hit female fighter Cassie Crisano [Ed. Note: And former Hot Potato] while in a scuffle between her and his girlfriend, fighter Shanie Rusth Saturday night after the two women weighed in opposite one another for an amateur MMA card in Virginia. Come to think of it, we’re incensed by the possibility that a large, professional male fighter may have hit Crisano in the face, and it has nothing to do with the fact that her face is particularly pleasant to look at. That stuff just ain’t cool.
According to MMA Weekly ‘s Damon Martin, “The situation unraveled during a weigh-in between two women’s competitors, Cassie Crisano and Shanie Rusth. Lester was there supporting Rusth, who is his girlfriend.
“According to several sources, a heated exchange took place between Crisano
and Rusth at the scales, after which Rusth spit on Crisano, and seconds later a
fight broke out between the participants. In the melee, Lester allegedly struck
Crisano before the participants were broken apart by others at the weigh-in.”
So far, no video or photos of the incident have emerged, and we don’t know if any criminal charges have been filed by anyone. But a statement from the owner of the promotion, Spartan promotions, makes it sound like he saw Rusth spit and Lester hit.
“Spartan Promotions strives to bring exciting amateur fights in a manner of class, integrity and sportsmanship,” James Jones, the owner, write.
“We are in the business of promoting events to showcase the talent and spirit behind Mixed Martial Arts. We do not, in any way, condone the actions that took place tonight at the weigh-ins for Battle of the Spartans IV.
“Spitting or striking of an opponent outside the cage does not hold to our core values. We thank those that intervened to stop the situation from escalating. We will be cooperating with the authorities as they move forward in their investigation.”
Let this be a cautionary tale, guys. Go and support your girl at her things, ie. a weigh in if she’s a fighter. But if she starts some shit with another chick, maybe you should just let her finish it for herself.
In our first installment of MMA in the Wild, we observed the fighting patterns of the HillBillyetica DipShiticus, a creature that used Facebook chicanery and a surprisingly diverse striking attack to display his dominance as alpha male of the porch-dwelling, slack-jawed humanoid tribe. In today’s installment, we will witness a beast of an entirely different nature (puns!), known henceforth as the Ninjitsu Ballisticus. Combining the hidden rage of the World of Warcraft freak out kid with the technical striking abilities of a young Cung Le, Ballisticus does not head into the wild seeking a fight, and will only resort to such primitive methods of solving a dispute when his back is against a wall.
But when his back is against the wall, prepare for hell, because he will hit you with such force that both a visible dust cloud will appear on impact and THE GUILE THEME SONG WILL BE EXPELLED FROM THE HEAVENS.
And just as quickly as he thrashes you to and fro like some kind of child’s play thing, he will declare that “He didn’t come to the river for this shit!” before vanishing back into the trees. The Ninjitsu Ballisticus, ladies and gentlemen.
In our first installment of MMA in the Wild, we observed the fighting patterns of the HillBillyetica DipShiticus, a creature that used Facebook chicanery and a surprisingly diverse striking attack to display his dominance as alpha male of the porch-dwelling, slack-jawed humanoid tribe. In today’s installment, we will witness a beast of an entirely different nature (puns!), known henceforth as the Ninjitsu Ballisticus. Combining the hidden rage of the World of Warcraft freak out kid with the technical striking abilities of a young Cung Le, Ballisticus does not head into the wild seeking a fight, and will only resort to such primitive methods of solving a dispute when his back is against a wall.
But when his back is against the wall, prepare for hell, because he will hit you with such force that both a visible dust cloud will appear on impact and THE GUILE THEME SONG WILL BE EXPELLED FROM THE HEAVENS.
And just as quickly as he thrashes you to and fro like some kind of child’s play thing, he will declare that “He didn’t come to the river for this shit!” before vanishing back into the trees. The Ninjitsu Ballisticus, ladies and gentlemen.
MMA Fighting reports that charges against retired former UFC fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller from an August arrest have been dropped in the Orange County Superior Court. You may remember the allegations as perhaps the most bizzare ones of Miller’s life, which is saying something.
“Miller was arrested Aug. 13 in Mission Viejo, Calif., on burglary charges after he allegedly broken into a church, sprayed a fire extinguisher and broke many items. According to a spokesperson for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, Miller was found by police naked on a couch in the church. He was not intoxicated and was arrested without incident,” MMA Fighting recounts.
According to the news site, Miller said that the case against him was dropped and that the arrest has been removed from his criminal record. “God is good,” he was reported as saying.
Just as his long and accomplished fighting career is often ignored by newer fans in light of his recent UFC performances, the fact that Miller is a friendly and good guy can often be lost amidst all of his public antics and schtick.
He has a lot to offer, even as a retired fighter. Let’s hope that his days of allegdly breaking into churches and women’s houses are behind him.
Not too long ago Miller took a stroll through New York City’s Central Park with MMA Fighting and discussed the arrest and other issues. Check out the full video interview after the jump.
MMA Fighting reports that charges against retired former UFC fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller from an August arrest have been dropped in the Orange County Superior Court. You may remember the allegations as perhaps the most bizzare ones of Miller’s life, which is saying something.
“Miller was arrested Aug. 13 in Mission Viejo, Calif., on burglary charges after he allegedly broken into a church, sprayed a fire extinguisher and broke many items. According to a spokesperson for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, Miller was found by police naked on a couch in the church. He was not intoxicated and was arrested without incident,” MMA Fighting recounts.
According to the news site, Miller said that the case against him was dropped and that the arrest has been removed from his criminal record. “God is good,” he was reported as saying.
Just as his long and accomplished fighting career is often ignored by newer fans in light of his recent UFC performances, the fact that Miller is a friendly and good guy can often be lost amidst all of his public antics and schtick.
He has a lot to offer, even as a retired fighter. Let’s hope that his days of allegdly breaking into churches and women’s houses are behind him.
Not too long ago Miller took a stroll through New York City’s Central Park with MMA Fighting and discussed the arrest and other issues. Check out the full video interview after the jump.
Dan’s opponent for Bellator 81, Mike Mucitelli, who is now waiting for a new fight. Taken directly from bandanmcguane.com
It isn’t often that the booking of an undercard fight can cause controversy, but Bellator recently found itself in hot water when they booked Dan McGuane on the undercard of this week’s Bellator 81. Bellator booked a fight between McGuane and 3-0 Light-Heavyweight Mike Mucitelli, ignoring the fact that Dan McGuane was convicted of manslaughter in 2005. No big deal, it was just self-defense, right? Unfortunately, no. Not even close.
Recently, a website BanDanMcGuane.com popped up after the webmaster had learned that Bellator had signed the fighter. According to reports, McGuane and his twin brother beat an eighteen year old, one hundred and fifty-five pound man named Kelly Proctor to death after Dan’s brother thought he heard Kelly say something. I wish I were exaggerating, but I’m not. After the jump, the grisly details, courtesy of the website (they’ve since been removed):
Dan’s opponent for Bellator 81, Mike Mucitelli, who is now waiting for a new fight. Taken directly from bandanmcguane.com
It isn’t often that the booking of an undercard fight can cause controversy, but Bellator recently found itself in hot water when they booked Dan McGuane on the undercard of this week’s Bellator 81. Bellator booked a fight between McGuane and 3-0 Light-Heavyweight Mike Mucitelli, ignoring the fact that Dan McGuane was convicted of manslaughter in 2005. No big deal, it was just self-defense, right? Unfortunately, no. Not even close.
Recently, a website BanDanMcGuane.com popped up after the webmaster had learned that Bellator had signed the fighter. According to reports, McGuane and his twin brother beat an eighteen year old, one hundred and fifty-five pound man named Kelly Proctor to death after Dan’s brother thought he heard Kelly say something. I wish I were exaggerating, but I’m not. After the jump, the grisly details, courtesy of the website (they’ve since been removed):
At the time of the incident that led to his death, the victim was five feet, eight inches tall and weighed approximately 155 pounds. Each defendant was approximately six feet, four inches tall and weighed nearly 200 pounds.
On the evening of Saturday, July 2, 2005, the victim and his girlfriend, Jayme Rotondi, watched part of the town of Ayer’s annual Independence Day fireworks at Pirone Park, but left early to avoid the crowds at the end of the display. As they left the park, the victim and Rotondi passed a group of at least six people walking toward the park. The group consisted of the defendants, Greg Shultz, an exchange student from Denmark, who was approximately the same size as the defendants, Brandi Livingston, Mary Papalucas and Sara Jones. Rotondi noticed one of the defendants staring at her; she smiled, then heard someone laugh. The victim stopped and asked Rotondi, “What are they laughing at?” Peter left the group and walked back toward the victim and asked, “Did you say something? Do you want me to beat your ass in front of your girl?” Papalucas positioned herself between Peter and the victim and said to Peter, “Don’t do this, let’s go.” At that point, Peter reached over Papalucas’s head and, with an open hand, slapped the victim across the face, knocking from his mouth a straw on which he had been chewing. After Peter slapped the victim, Daniel joined in the attack. Both defendants punched the victim several times. The victim began crawling, trying to escape the assault.
The fight gradually moved from the street to the curb, then onto the sidewalk, where the defendants forced the victim back up against a sport utility vehicle (SUV). Rotondi, in an attempt to break up the fight, jumped onto Daniel’s back and scratched him, tearing his blue polo shirt. She was pulled off Daniel by Papalucas, who also tried unsuccessfully to break up the fight. One of the defendants shoved Papalucas and Rotondi aside, then Daniel kicked the victim in the chest. The victim fell to the ground and ended up under the SUV. The defendants walked away, leaving the victim under the SUV. As he left the scene, Peter said, “What do you have to say now?”
The victim remained under the SUV, lying on his chest, with blood coming from his nose. His breathing was labored. Papalucas told the victim it was okay to come out from under the SUV, but he was not responsive. She and some of the defendants’ friends, who remained at the scene, pulled the victim from under the SUV. The victim was unconscious and his eyes were open but rolled back in his head.
Long story short, Dan and his equally deplorable brother beat a younger, smaller Kelly Proctor to death because they heard him ask his girlfriend a question. I’d compare them to the lunkhead pieces of shit who wear Affliction, but I have – and I can’t believe I’m typing this – more respect for those people than I do for the McGuanes.
Before we go any further, I understand that everyone has a right to make a living. At the same token, not everyone has a right to make a living as a professional fighter. There are plenty of other ways to make a living besides fighting.
It’s bad enough that certain politicians still compare our sport to cock-fighting and dog-fighting; we don’t need to give those comparisons legitimacy by glorifying a despicable human being like Dan McGuane. Beating a younger, smaller person to death with your twin brother isn’t “brave” or “athletic,” it’s something that only a completely sick, deranged individual would do.
If someone is unable to separate the person in the cage from the person outside of it, they simply aren’t mentally stable enough to deserve the right to represent out sport. If you disagree, that’s fine, as long as you don’t complain about the mainstream media representing MMA fighters as douchebag high school dropouts who are too stupid to work at Burger King. At least be consistent with your beliefs.
For the record, I also wouldn’t want current Bellator fighters Brett Rogers and War Machine representing my brand due to their – ahem – “character issues.” Unlike McGuane, though, not only did those two never kill anybody, but they’re also both names that hardcore fans are familiar with who have demonstrated that they have at least some talent. I’m not saying I agree with either man being on Bellator’s payroll, but at least I understand why they were signed. There were literally never any such advantages to signing Dan McGuane.
Basics of negotiation dictate that one starts with a high asking price. UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva doesn’t need to be told that twice.
Fans want Silva to fight light heavyweight king Jon Jones, but neither he nor Jones really seem all that interested in tainting their legacies testing themselves against one another. Well, sorta, but not really. Nonetheless, UFC Prez Dana White has confidently declared on several occasions that he has the cashflow to change their minds completely.
“I think the Jon Jones fight is a big fight. I know my man says ‘No, no, no,'” White told reporters at the UFC 153 post-fight press conference, “but the amount of money that would be offered for that fight, I guarantee you I will make Anderson Silva say, ‘Yes, yes, yes.'”
“O RLY?”, Silva recently replied in an interview with Brazil’s Tatame Magazine, stating that his price tag to fight Jon Jones is a completely reasonable 50% of the UFC’s net worth. “Let’s ask him to see if [White] will give me 50% of the UFC,” Silva told Tatame.
White has publicly estimated that the UFC is worth $2.5 billion. Half of that is…well, we’re writers not mathematicians but we’re betting its a lot of money.
Basics of negotiation dictate that one starts with a high asking price. UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva doesn’t need to be told that twice.
Fans want Silva to fight light heavyweight king Jon Jones, but neither he nor Jones really seem all that interested in tainting their legacies testing themselves against one another. Well, sorta, but not really. Nonetheless, UFC Prez Dana White has confidently declared on several occasions that he has the cashflow to change their minds completely.
“I think the Jon Jones fight is a big fight. I know my man says ‘No, no, no,’” White told reporters at the UFC 153 post-fight press conference, “but the amount of money that would be offered for that fight, I guarantee you I will make Anderson Silva say, ‘Yes, yes, yes.’”
“O RLY?”, Silva recently replied in an interview with Brazil’s Tatame Magazine, stating that his price tag to fight Jon Jones is a completely reasonable 50% of the UFC’s net worth. “Let’s ask him to see if [White] will give me 50% of the UFC,” Silva told Tatame.
White has publicly estimated that the UFC is worth $2.5 billion. Half of that is…well, we’re writers not mathematicians but we’re betting its a lot of money.
And why does Silva have such a high price for Jones’ head, you ask? Because he has better things to do than this Ultimate Fighting nonsense, of course.
“I have my projects out of the UFC and I want to put them into practice,” Silva went on.
“To open my school (martial arts) in Los Angeles. I do my thing, take a breath a little, take time with my family. I have better things to do (than just taking punches in the face).”
But at least we have a starting point from Silva as to what type of money it will take to get him to fight the larger Jones instead of his dream fight with the much smaller Georges St. Pierre. Sure, that figure is completely ridiculous and as close to a stonewalling as we’ve seen from a UFC champion and supposed GOAT, but you gotta start somewhere, right guys?
Let’s hope that Jones doesn’t ask for a 50/50 deal as well, because we may not be all that great with this math stuff, but with each fighter taking half of the UFC as their purse, there won’t be that many halves left…
