The Ten Most Random Replacement Opponents in MMA History


(He wore his own shirt in hopes of getting MMA fans to learn his name. Instead, they all asked him if he’s a cameraman for the new Danny Trejo movie.)

By Seth Falvo

By now you’ve heard that Rashad Evans is out of his co-main event clash against Daniel Cormier at UFC 170, and has been replaced by promotional newcomer Patrick Cummins. Unsurprisingly, reactions to this announcement have ranged from “Who is Patrick Cummins?” to “UFC Books Match Between Number One Contender And Twitter User.” Cummins certainly feels like an unusual replacement opponent, but how does he stack up against other fighters who were granted a shot in the spotlight out of sheer necessity for a warm body to step in and save a fight?

Coincidentally enough, we’ll start with his next opponent…

10.) Injury Replacement Daniel Cormier Wins the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix.

(Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.)

The Details: Replaced Alistair Overeem against Antonio Silva at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov (09/10/2011).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: It’s hard to believe that just under three years ago, Daniel Cormier such an unknown prospect that sportsbooks didn’t even bother creating odds for him to win the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix, despite creating odds for Ray Sefo and Valentijn “Othereem” Overeem; a $20 bet on Cormier “FIELD” to win the tournament would have netted you $1,000. But when Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion Alistair Overeem injured his toe/realized fighting in the tournament was pointless and pulled out of his scheduled bout against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, Cormier handled Silva so effortlessly that it was impossible not to take note. Cormier would go on to defeat Josh Barnett for the tournament title, and the rest is history.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: While Cormier may not have been high on our radars at the time, it’s hard to call an Olympic wrestler an “unknown prospect.”

On a somewhat related note…


(He wore his own shirt in hopes of getting MMA fans to learn his name. Instead, they all asked him if he’s a cameraman for the new Danny Trejo movie.)

By Seth Falvo

By now you’ve heard that Rashad Evans is out of his co-main event clash against Daniel Cormier at UFC 170, and has been replaced by promotional newcomer Patrick Cummins. Unsurprisingly, reactions to this announcement have ranged from “Who is Patrick Cummins?” to “UFC Books Match Between Number One Contender And Twitter User.“ Cummins certainly feels like an unusual replacement opponent, but how does he stack up against other fighters who were granted a shot in the spotlight out of sheer necessity for a warm body to step in and save a fight?

Coincidentally enough, we’ll start with his next opponent…

10.) Injury Replacement Daniel Cormier Wins the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix.

(Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.)

The Details: Replaced Alistair Overeem against Antonio Silva at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov (09/10/2011).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: It’s hard to believe that just under three years ago, Daniel Cormier such an unknown prospect that sportsbooks didn’t even bother creating odds for him to win the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix, despite creating odds for Ray Sefo and Valentijn “Othereem” Overeem; a $20 bet on Cormier “FIELD” to win the tournament would have netted you $1,000. But when Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion Alistair Overeem injured his toe/realized fighting in the tournament was pointless and pulled out of his scheduled bout against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, Cormier handled Silva so effortlessly that it was impossible not to take note. Cormier would go on to defeat Josh Barnett for the tournament title, and the rest is history.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: While Cormier may not have been high on our radars at the time, it’s hard to call an Olympic wrestler an “unknown prospect.”

On a somewhat related note…

9.) Injury Replacement Steve Jennum Wins UFC 3.

The Details: Replaced Ken Shamrock against Harold Howard in the finals of UFC 3 (09/09/1994).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: Well, did you buy UFC 3 to watch a police officer who dabbled in ninjutsu? Of course not. You bought that card to watch Royce Gracie take on Ken Shamrock, which made things sort-of disappointing when Royce Gracie forfeited from exhaustion to crazy person Harold Howard and Ken Shamrock was unable to continue fighting in the tournament after his victory over Felix Lee Mitchell. What we ended up with was Jennum quickly submitting Howard, winning the tournament before most fans watching could even be bothered learning his name.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Because at this point in UFC history, pretty much everyone other than Ken Shamrock and Royce Gracie was a random unknown (okay, slight exaggeration, but you get the idea…).

8.) Stephan Bonnar Saves UFC 153 by Getting Damn-Near Murdered by Anderson Silva.

The Details: Replaced Jose Aldo vs. Frankie Edgar as the Main Event of UFC 153 (10/13/2012).
Why This Makes the Top Ten: With The Injury Curse of 2012 in full effect, the UFC saw this show’s main event shift from Aldo vs. Koch to Aldo vs. Edgar to The First Two Healthy Bodies We Can Find, Hopefully At Least One of Which Brazilian. What the UFC ended up getting was then-indestructible middleweight champion Anderson Silva taking on The Ultimate Fighter star Stephan Bonnar at light-heavyweight. The short-notice bout felt like the recipe for a memorable freak show fight, and it certainly did not disappoint.
Why This Isn’t Ranked Higher: As random as matching these two guys up against each other was, let’s not act like either fighter was an unknown nobody before this fight.

7.) Strikeforce Takes Zero Chances on Replacement Opponent for Bobby Lashley, Books Wes Sims to Fight at Strikeforce: Miami.


(Photo Courtesy of Sherdog)

The Details: Replaced Shane Del Rosario/Yohan Banks against Bobby Lashley at Strikeforce: Miami (01/30/2010).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: Believe it or not, there once was a time when Strikeforce was an independently owned company that was actively trying to establish its own stars. One such fighter they were hoping would become a huge draw for them was former WWE superstar Bobby Lashley, who initially agreed to a bout against decorated Muay Thai fighter Shane Del Rosario at this event. Presumably as soon as Strikeforce officials realized how suicidal the match would be for Lashley, they changed their minds and set out to book a fight between Lashley and some guy named Yohan Banks. When the commission didn’t approve the bout – possibly because they asked “Who the hell is Yohan Banks?” and were met with vacant, blank stares – Strikeforce settled for none other than infamous UFC castoff Wes Sims. And if there were any doubts that Sims wouldn’t be a threat to their crossover star, they were erased when Sims showed up looking pregnant and attempted a pro-wrasslin’ test of strength at the start of the fight.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Wes Sims may not have been the most credible opponent for Bobby Lashley, but at least he was once a somewhat-big name. He was a lot more relevant than Jimmy Ambriz – who was also being considered for the fight – ever was.

6.) The So-Very-YAMMA Pit Fighting Saga of Patrick Smith


(Photo Courtesy of Sherdog)

The Details: Injury replacement for pretty much every “Masters Division” fighter YAMMA actually wanted for YAMMA Pit Fighting 1 (04/11/2008).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: It’s almost too easy to make jokes about the YAMMA Pit Fighting Senior Circuit – or “Masters Division,” as their marketing department wanted us to call it. The short version of the events is that the old-school UFC veteran was initially brought in to replace Don Frye against Oleg Taktarov, then removed from the card when he was arrested after a high-speed chase, making his participation appear doubtful. He was brought back when not only were his crimes reduced to misdemeanors, but also when his replacement, Maurice Smith, pulled out from the card. Smith fought Butterbean at the promotion’s only event, because of course he did. Butterbean, for the record, was initially set to take on Gary Goodridge.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Because even though he hadn’t been relevant in over a decade, he was still actively competing at regional shows when YAMMA called him up to fight.

5.) Seth Petruzelli Dethrones The Baddest Man in EliteXC…*sigh* Kimbo Slice

The Details: Injury replacement for Ken Shamrock against Kimbo Slice at EliteXC: Heat (10/04/2008).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: Don’t act like you don’t know the story by now. Petruzelli was the semi-retired light-heavyweight who put on a few last-second pounds to save EliteXC: Heat‘s main event when Ken Shamrock pulled out on the day of the fight. Ironically enough, he pretty much sunk the company by saving this card. Although every MMA fan in the United States would learn his name after he became the Kimbo Killer, let’s not change history and act like he was a big star before the bout.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Well, he was a TUF alumnus, so it’s not like no one had heard of him; never mind that most of those in attendance probably never heard of TUF, either.

4.) Patrick Cummins Will Fight Daniel Cormier at UFC 170

(Photo Courtesy of MMAJunkie.com)

The Details: Will replace Rashad Evans against Daniel Cormier at UFC 170 (02/22/2014).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: I’m not writing that he has no chance of beating Daniel Cormier, but on paper he sure as hell doesn’t. The 4-0 prospect has two weeks to prepare for one of the top fighters in the UFC, and the only reason anyone is giving him a chance is because of a high school drama-esque story about Cummins making Daniel Cormier cry when they trained together. This bout is essentially a slightly more legitimate version of Shamrock vs Lober II on paper; let’s see how it actually plays out.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Because who knows, Cummins might actually win…

3.) Pro-Wrestler Sean O’Haire Steps in to Fight Butterbean #PRIDENEVERDIE

The Details: Replacement for Mark Hunt against Butterbean at PRIDE 32: The Real Deal(10/21/2006).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: The craziest aspect of this bout isn’t the fact that PRIDE replaced one of their top heavyweights with a professional wrestler; that was pretty much par for the course with them. No, the strangest part about this fight was that Mark Hunt was pulled from the card when the NSAC deemed that he held an “unfair mat advantage” over Butterbean. I guess if you consider attempting a leg drop in an MMA fight a “mat advantage,” then yeah, O’Haire actually did have a chance of winning this new, “more competitive” fight.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Because Sean O’Haire was actually 2-1 in MMA at the time, so it’s not like he was completely inexperienced when he was called in to replace Mark Hunt. Also, because if you expected anything different from PRIDE, you clearly weren’t a fan.

2.) Fred Ettish: The Excellence of Being Executed

The Details: Injury replacement who stepped in for Ken Shamrock to fight Johnny Rhodes at UFC 2 (03/11/1994).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: What happens when a point fighter actually gets into a real fight? Something so tragic that it immediately becomes the stuff of legends, apparently. You have to feel bad for Ettish, who was there to essentially play Burt Watson before being called into action against an opponent with actual fighting experience. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Why He Isn’t Ranked Higher: Two Reasons: Number one, because if he looked unprepared, it’s because everyone was unprepared for what they were getting into in those days, because mixed martial arts was so new that the very term “mixed martial arts” wasn’t even coined yet. And number two, because the UFC was still very much an infomercial for Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, so it’s not like matchmakers were looking for fighters who could actually beat King Royce.

1.) Ilir Latifi: The Only Man To Ever Headline a UFC Card Who Still Doesn’t Have a Wikipedia Page.

The Details: Injury replacement for Alexander Gustafsson against Gegard Mousasi at UFC on Fuel TV 9(04/06/2013).
Why He Makes the Top Ten: When the guy who just signed you to a contract couldn’t be bothered with learning how to actually spell your name, you know that hopes aren’t exactly high for you. Latifi was a training partner of the injured Alexander Gustafsson, and presumably because every UFC light-heavyweight realized how suicidal accepting a short-notice bout against a Top Ten fighter would be for their careers – and also because Martin “Poker Face” Wojcik already made plans for that day, I imagine – the UFC signed Ilir Latifi to save the event. To his credit, Latifi managed to shed twenty-six pounds in three days in order to make weight for the fight. Too bad for him, though, was that the fight itself was completely forgettable, and he drifted back into obscurity immediately after it was over.
Why He Is Number One: Name one other person in UFC history to headline a fight card who doesn’t even have his own Wikipedia page. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Do you have an even more random replacement opponent in mind? You know you’re dying to share it in the comments section.

CagePotato Tribute: The 50 Worst Fighters in UFC History

Every great sport has been built on the backs of men who absolutely sucked at it — athletes whose hapless failures made the champions’ triumphs look even more outstanding by comparison. Baseball has its Mario Mendozas, its Bob Kammeyers, its Pete Rose Jrs. We have our Joe Sons, our Tiki Ghosns, our James Toneys. So in honor of the brave competitors who proved that MMA is even harder than it looks, we humbly present this “tribute” to the worst UFC fighters of all time.

A couple of notes to start: 1) We chose fighters solely based on their performances inside the Octagon. Some of these fighters achieved great things in other organizations, before or after their time in the UFC; for the purposes of this feature, we’re not really interested in that. 2) Instead of ranking one form of suckitude against another, we’ll group the 50 fighters into sections and arrange them chronologically. Use the links below to navigate, and if we omitted anybody notable, please let us know in the comments section.

– Ben Goldstein

Page 1: The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines
Page 2: The One-and-Done Wonders
Page 3: The Repeat Offenders
Page 4: The Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time TUF Guys
Page 5: The Barely-Worth-Mentioning Washouts

Every great sport has been built on the backs of men who absolutely sucked at it — athletes whose hapless failures made the champions’ triumphs look even more outstanding by comparison. Baseball has its Mario Mendozas, its Bob Kammeyers, its Pete Rose Jrs. We have our Joe Sons, our Tiki Ghosns, our James Toneys. So in honor of the brave competitors who proved that MMA is even harder than it looks, we humbly present this “tribute” to the worst UFC fighters of all time.

A couple of notes to start: 1) We chose fighters solely based on their performances inside the Octagon. Some of these fighters achieved great things in other organizations, before or after their time in the UFC; for the purposes of this feature, we’re not really interested in that. 2) Instead of ranking one form of suckitude against another, we’ll group the 50 fighters into sections and arrange them chronologically. Use the links below to navigate, and if we omitted anybody notable, please let us know in the comments section.

– Ben Goldstein

Page 1: The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines
Page 2: The One-and-Done Wonders
Page 3: The Repeat Offenders
Page 4: The Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time TUF Guys
Page 5: The Barely-Worth-Mentioning Washouts

*****

The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines

When “Style vs. Style” usually meant “Talented vs. Untalented.”

1. Art Jimmerson (UFC record: 0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 1, 11/12/93

Even before we really understood what the UFC was, it was clear that Art Jimmerson didn’t belong there. What was a one-gloved boxer going to accomplish in a no-holds-barred fighting competition? In the end, the glove gimmick was completely beside the point. Jimmerson wasn’t able to land a single punch with either hand before he was taken down by early franchise star Royce Gracie, and tapped out before Gracie even got a chance to sink a submission hold. These days, Art is gainfully employed as the head boxing instructor at the UFC Gym in Rosemead, California, and spends his free time calling out Kimbo Slice. Legend.

2. Fred Ettish (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 2, 3/11/94

The last thing I want to do is pile more abuse on Fred Ettish. He seems like a legitimately nice person, and he’s suffered enough in his life as it is. But leaving Ettish off a list of the worst UFC fighters of all time is like leaving Robert Johnson off a list of the 100 greatest guitarists of all time. The man has earned his place in history.

A kenpo karate stylist who wanted to challenge himself beyond point-fighting tournaments, Ettish sent a letter to Art Davie asking for a spot on UFC 2, and was brought on as a stand-by alternate when Ken Shamrock broke his hand before the event. But instead of letting Ettish warm up and keep focused backstage, the UFC tried to kill two birds with one stone by having Ettish wrangle fighters at the arena, Burt Watson-style. When Frank Hamaker injured his hand during his round-of-16 victory over Thaddeus Luster, shit got very real, very fast:

I’d just brought up [Minoki] Ichihara, the guy who fought Royce in the first round. I was going downstairs to find the next fighter at the same time Rorion Gracie was coming up the stairs. He grabbed me by the arm and asked, ‘Are you ready to fight?’…I had to go find my guys in the crowd, drag them backstage, get my gear, stretch and try to get myself prepared. This all happened in about a 10-minute window, and I was headed out to the Octagon…I wasn’t able to get my mind right. I checked out psychologically.”

Johnny Rhodes destroyed him. Ettish’s front-kicks were more of an annoyance to his opponent than anything else, and by the time Rhodes knocked him to the mat and began firing strikes from above, Ettish only had the “earthquake defense” to protect him. Rhodes eventually won by way of a choke-hold that he seemed to have invented on the spot. Luckily, Ettish didn’t get discouraged. He went on to open a Pat Miletich-affiliated MMA gym, and returned to competition in 2009, scoring a first-round TKO of a guy who was half his age. See? Nice guys don’t always finish last.

3. Emmanuel Yarborough (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 3, 9/9/94

Manny Yarborough proved that a 416-pound weight advantage was no advantage at all, especially if you have zero practical combat training outside of shoving other fat guys, and you can’t get off the floor without assistance. As soon as his opponent Keith Hackney landed a Hail Mary palm strike, Yarborough tumbled to the mat and nearly swallowed Hackney up in his massive gravitational pull. After a re-start due to Octagon gate-failure, Hackney pot-shotted Yarborough until he was able to knock the big sumo down again, then smashed Manny with blows from above until Big John McCarthy was forced to intervene. Yarborough wasn’t invited back to the UFC, though he did pick up a win via smother-submission during a Shooto fight four years later.

4. Joe Son (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 4, 12/16/94

Maybe we’re biased, considering he’s arguably the worst person who ever competed in the UFC. When Joe Son cut his creepy UFC 4 promo in which he threatened to show us “the spirit of the Lord of Jesus Christ tonight,” nobody knew that he had participated in the horrifying kidnapping and gang-rape of a woman on Christmas Eve 1990, a crime that wouldn’t catch up to him until 2008. Once again, Keith Hackney played the role of regulator, repeatedly slugging Joe Son in the balls during their fight — perfectly legal back then, mind you — before making the “Joe Son Do” practitioner tap due to a choke.

After his failed UFC campaign, Son snagged a role in the first Austin Powers movie then lost three more MMA bouts in equally embarrassing fashion before a fluke vandalism warrant tied him to his earlier crime. He was convictedsentenced to life in prison, and promptly killed his cell-mate, a fellow sex-offender. The only silver lining to the ugly story of Joe Son’s life is that he’ll almost certainly die behind bars.

5. Jon Hess (1-0)
Sole appearance: UFC 5, 4/7/95

How did a guy who never lost in the UFC make it onto this list? Well, just watch the video of Jon Hess‘s UFC 5 fight against Andy Anderson, and it’ll start to make a lot of sense. A co-founder of SAFTA — that’s Scientific Aggressive Fighting Technology of America, noob — Hess decided to pursue MMA after watching UFC 4 and concluding that he could beat Royce Gracie “very easily.” But once he got in the Octagon and started flailing around like a spaz, it wasn’t clear that he’d ever studied a real martial art. And despite his size advantage against Anderson, Hess resorted to blatant eye-gouging twice in order to get out of trouble.

In short, Hess was completely unathletic, would have been destroyed by any fighter his own size, and was most likely a total asshole to begin with. The UFC reportedly fined him $2,000 for his fouls and never allowed him back. In his second (and final) MMA fight the following year, Hess was invited to face Vitor Belfort at a SuperBrawl event on four days’ notice, and by the power of Christ, Belfort set the karmic balance back in order.

6. John Matua (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 6, 7/14/95

And now, the internal monologue of everybody who watched UFC 6 live: “Damn, John Matua looks like a beast. Did Michael Buffer just say he studies the ‘brutal Hawaiian art of bone-breaking?’ Yeesh…R.I.P., random biker guy. It’s kind of weird that I’ve been subscribing to Black Belt magazine for the last three years and yet I’ve never heard of Kuialua; I’ll have to ask my sensei about ways to defend against it. Okay, they’re fighting, and HOLY CRAP, TANK IS BEATING HIS ASS! BONE-BREAKING HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS USELESS IN A NO-HOLDS-BARRED SCENARIO! PIT-FIGHTING IS THE FUTURE! Oh man, is Matua dead? He’s definitely dead. Wow. Best $14.99 I’ve ever spent. [puts on Everclear CD]”
See also: Thomas Ramirez

7. Paul Herrera (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 8, 2/16/96

Oh, that poor bastard. That poor, poor son-of-a-bitch.

8. Moti Horenstein (0-2)
First appearance: UFC 10, 7/12/96
Final appearance: UFC 14, 7/27/97


With a background in karate, kickboxing, and krav maga, Israeli striker Moti Horenstein wasn’t looking to roll around the mat with anybody. His game-plan in the cage was to unleash the kind of vicious kicks that would later score him a Guinness World Record in baseball-bat breaking. (Yes, there is such a thing.) Unfortunately, Moti’s luck in drawing opponents was cosmically, hilariously bad. Horenstein debuted in the quarterfinals of UFC 10′s open-weight tournament against former NCAA Division I wrestling champion Mark Coleman, who swiftly took him down and unleashed his trademark ground-and-pound until Horenstein tapped from strikes at the 2:43 mark.

Horenstein gave it another shot the following year, entering UFC 14′s four-man heavyweight tournament. And who was his opponent this time? None other than former NCAA Division I wrestling champion Mark Kerr, who was simply a larger, younger, and more savage version of Mark Colemon. Bleacher Report aptly described the match as ”the worst case of a Jew being led to slaughter since Jesus.” Horenstein got TKO’d in 2:22 and thankfully never showed up in the UFC again.

9. Reza Nasri (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 11, 9/20/96

The UFC’s pre-Zuffa era featured two short-lived Iranian prospects — Tae Kwon Do stylist Saeed Hosseini, who competed at UFC 13, and Reza Nasri, who preceded him by three events. (Coincidentally, both fighters were matched up against juiced-up Americans wearing form-fitting Stars ‘n’ Stripes briefs, which made it clear who the fans were supposed to root for.) But while Hosseini put in a valiant effort before being TKO’d by Jack Nilsson, Nasri didn’t do anything for the budding reputation of Iranian MMA, getting beat down by Brian Johnston in under 30 seconds.

Nasri entered the Octagon with a Greco-Roman wrestling background, but it wasn’t clear if he’d done any striking training before joining the eight-man tournament at UFC 11, and he certainly hadn’t taken any jiu-jitsu lessons — you can tell that by the way he completely stopped fighting after Johnston put him on his back. Perhaps Nasri was waiting for the ref to award Johnston three points and stand them back up. Instead, Johnston unleashed a torrent of head-butts (still technically legal in those days) and punches that ended the Iranian’s UFC career as quickly as it began. Now, if Johnston had only come at Nasri with a knife in slow-motion, who knows what would have happened?

10. Tony Halme (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 13, 5/30/97

Unlike the inept first-timers in this section, Tony Halme already had a proven history of failure in MMA by the time he made it to the UFC, racking up an 0-3 record for Japan’s RINGS promotion. A former professional wrestler who had competed in the WWF under the name Ludvig Borga, the hulking, tatted-up Finn certainly looked like your stereotypical cage-fighter/Aryan prison-gang leader. But against a top-shelf wrestler like Randy Couture, he was roadkill.

Halme met the Natural in the semi-finals of UFC 13′s four-man heavyweight tournament — which happened to be Couture’s MMA debut — and opened the bout by running directly into a double-leg takedown. Couture easily placed the 300-pounder on the mat, transitioned to Halme’s back, then finished him with a choke, all in just 56 seconds. It was the last attempt at MMA for Halme, who went on to win a seat in Finland’s parliament for the ultra-right-wing True Finns party, before spiraling into drug-and-alcohol-fueled insanity, and killing himself in January 2010. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

11. Greg “Ranger” Stott (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 15, 10/17/97

His entire MMA career lasted only 17 seconds, but it taught us so much. For one thing, being 240 pounds doesn’t necessarily make you a heavyweight — sometimes it just means you need to reduce your carb intake. Also, the Octagon is no place to test out new martial arts systems that you made up in your garage. So it went with Greg Stott, an Army Ranger who debuted his own Ranger Intensive Program (“RIP rules, and all other styles rest in peace“) at UFC 15 against the nightmare-inducing Mark Kerr, a true heavyweight in every sense of the word. After Stott tossed out a few awful-looking jabs to demonstrate how unqualified he was, Kerr clinched up and launched an Overeem-esque knee straight up the middle, putting Stott’s lights out. The Mississippi fans booed the quick stoppage, angry that Kerr didn’t literally beat Stott to death. Indeed, it was a crowd that desired bloodshed above all else.

12. Yoji Anjo (0-3)
First appearance: UFC Ultimate Japan 1, 12/21/97
Final appearance: UFC 29, 12/16/00

The four-man heavyweight tournament at Ultimate Japan 1 featured two Japanese professional wrestlers, who entered as a publicity stunt for their Kingdom Pro Wrestling league. One of them was Kazushi Sakuraba, a last-minute injury replacement who managed to win the tournament and went on to become an MMA megastar in Japan. The other was Yoji Anjo, whose fight career couldn’t have turned out more differently. After losing a 15-minute decision to American fan-favorite Tank Abbott, Anjo was booked on two subsequent Japanese UFC cards, for no other reason than his nationality. In a pair of mismatches against middleweight up-and-comers, Anjo was choked out by Murilo Bustamante at UFC 25: Ultimate Japan 3 and TKO’d by Matt Lindland at UFC 29. Yoji Anjo retired from MMA competition with an overall record of 0-5-1. The fact that he was also responsible for the most epically failed dojo-storming attempt in martial arts history is a tale for another day.
See also: Daiju Takase

13. Chris Condo (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 20, 5/7/99

I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a damn thing about Chris Condo. I don’t know where he came from, and I don’t know what became of him after his brief stint in the UFC. Maybe he was simply a spectator who was asked to replace a fighter who had dropped out at the last minute. Your guess is as good as mine. What I see in the screen-cap above is a heavy-set “grappler” whose dopey, innocent expression is reminiscent of Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. When Condo faced Ron Waterman at UFC 20, he was, to quote that movie, in a world of shit; Waterman TKO’d him in just 28 seconds. I remember watching the fight online a while back, and I remember that it was ugly, but the video has disappeared from the Internet. Chris Condo never fought again. His life remains a mystery.

Jump to…
Page 1: The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines
Page 2: The One-and-Done Wonders
Page 3: The Repeat Offenders
Page 4: The Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time TUF Guys
Page 5: The Barely-Worth-Mentioning Washouts

Bobby Lashley Reveals Next Opponent, Eyes Winner-Take-All Fight with Dave Bautista

Bobby Lashley has a name and a date for his next MMA fight, and his opponent will be a familiar face to fans of The Ultimate Fighter.

On November 11 in Lubbock, Texas, Lashley will face TUF 10 contestant Darrill Schoonover for the Shark Fights heavywe…

Bobby LashleyBobby Lashley has a name and a date for his next MMA fight, and his opponent will be a familiar face to fans of The Ultimate Fighter.

On November 11 in Lubbock, Texas, Lashley will face TUF 10 contestant Darrill Schoonover for the Shark Fights heavyweight title, the former pro wrestler told Ariel Helwani on Monday’s edition of The MMA Hour. It will be the first in his multi-fight deal with the Shark Fights organization, and Lashley hopes it will help build him back up after his short, unimpressive stay in Strikeforce.

“I believe [Strikeforce CEO Scott] Coker said this, he said he doesn’t believe that I want it,” Lashley said. “…I have all the respect in the world for Coker, and he may have been right. Maybe I wasn’t ready for Strikeforce at the time. …I didn’t have everything together and I wasn’t training the way I should have.”

Lashley won his Strikeforce debut over journeyman heavyweight Wes Sims, but in his second bout with the organization he was undone by exhaustion against Chad Griggs. After starting strong against Griggs, Lashley suffered a cut and was later barely able to pick himself off the mat at the end of round two, prompting a stoppage that put the first blemish on his professional record.

Back then, Lashley said, he thought he was in shape, but with the help of a new strength and conditioning coach he recently learned that “I was just in the wrong kind of shape.”

That was a little over a year ago, and Lashley rebounded in March with a win over John Ott in the Titan FC organization, but he still hasn’t given up on the prospect of a rematch with Griggs.

“I would like to get that fight against Griggs some day,” Lashley said. “That’s one thing that still burns in my stomach, is having that loss on my record.”

Another fight Lashley wouldn’t mind is one with fellow WWE alum Dave Bautista, who was at one point rumored to be making his MMA debut in Strikeforce. That coming out party never materialized, but now that Lashley is with Shark Fights and Bautista is unsigned, Lashley has some ideas about how they could make it happen on a limited budget.

“If we do the fight, let’s do winner-take-all. Let’s put one purse up there, winner takes all,” said Lashley, who acknowledged that a bout between two former pro wrestlers might not be well received by every fight fan.

“I’d love to fight Dave. I guess that’s a super fight and that’s a fight for maybe the wrestling fans. I don’t know how well the MMA community would take it. I guess they would just sort of shrug their shoulders and say, ‘whatever,’ but I know it’s a fight that a lot of wrestling fans would love to see.”

As for his long-term future in the sport, Lashley said he remains committed to proving that he is a serious fighter, and not just a pro wrestler dabbling in MMA. His conditioning program has been adjusted to meet the demands of the sport, he said, and he’s spent a lot of time working on his stand-up skills and increasing his sparring load, despite not sparring at all before his last two fights.

“I think it’s good for me to get back there and try to prove myself. That’s what I’d like to do. I’m not one to fight what someone else says about me. It’s better to go out there and prove that, hey, I want to fight. I’m here, I’m taking this seriously, and I do want it,” said Lashley.

Ultimately, he said, he’d like to get back in the big leagues, which is easier said than done.

“I want to get some fights in and I want to really prove myself in front of these guys, so that I can have that door open and maybe go back with Strikeforce or maybe talk to Dana White later on and get up there and do some big things and show what I’m really capable of doing,” he said.

Beating Schoonover wouldn’t be a bad start. But considering Schoonover’s 1-4 record since losing to James McSweeney in the TUF 10 Finale, it would most likely be the first step in a long journey.

 

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UFC Fan Expo Highlight Reel: The Legend of the Punch Machine

(CagePotato.com punch machine highlights @ UFC Fan Expo Boston from Matty Sumida on Vimeo.)
By now, you may have already seen that video going around of Pat Barry kicking the stuffing out of our punch-machine at the UFC Fan Expo. When KLM Vending dro…

(CagePotato.com punch machine highlights @ UFC Fan Expo Boston from Matty Sumida on Vimeo.)

By now, you may have already seen that video going around of Pat Barry kicking the stuffing out of our punch-machine at the UFC Fan Expo. When KLM Vending dropped off the machine at our booth, they gave us strict orders to not let any drunken tough-guy idiot try to kick the bag. But when HD Barry drops by and starts rolling his shorts up, you’re pretty much helpless to do anything except smile nervously and move out of the way.

Of course, Pat wasn’t the only one who was drawn to the punch-machine at the CagePotato.com Fan Expo booth. As VH and ReX already explained, we had a thick crowd of participants and gawkers all weekend, many of whom turned into hooked rubes who couldn’t stop pleading for "one more turn" on the thing. And my God did they take it seriously. So here’s our video tribute to their efforts, edited by Break Media’s Matty Sumida and soundtracked by Fort Minor. Enjoy, and we hope to see you guys at the next one…

UFC Fan Expo Video Interview #1: Wes Sims Is Still Alive, You Guys

UFC Boston – Wes Sims Interview – Watch more Funny Videos
One of the most visible figures at last weekend’s UFC Fan Expo was "The A-Hole Show" himself, Wes Sims. When he wasn’t creating havoc around the convention center, the wild-‘n’-cr…

UFC Boston – Wes Sims Interview – Watch more Funny Videos

One of the most visible figures at last weekend’s UFC Fan Expo was "The A-Hole Show" himself, Wes Sims. When he wasn’t creating havoc around the convention center, the wild-‘n’-crazy UFC vet was stationed at the Bonafide Tough Guy booth, just a stone’s throw away from CagePotato.com’s setup, and was kind enough to grant us an interview (after spending some time whacking our punch machine and threatening nearby children).

As you’ll see, I ask Wes what he’s been up to since TUF 10, completely forgetting his subsequent loss to Bobby Lashley in Strikeforce; I’m sure he’d like to forget that fight too. He doesn’t have his next match set up yet, but he does explain his dim mak striking technique, and shares the story of how doctors accidentally cut four pounds of penis off of his new son, Max Ruckus.

I’ll tell you something — I’ve never felt more like Mean Gene Okerlund in my life. Big props to Wes for making CagePotato’s UFC Fan Expo booth that much more entertaining, and sticking around afterwards to sign autographs. More to come…

UFC Fan Expo Scene Report #1: The Viva Hate Story

("Viva Hate" and Pat Barry: A true meeting of the minds. Photos in this post courtesy of ReX13.)
By CagePotato.com Fan Expo video contest winner Chris "Viva Hate" Morse
First, let me start by saying welcome aboard to all the new …

Chris Morse Viva Hate Pat Barry UFC Fan Expo Boston
("Viva Hate" and Pat Barry: A true meeting of the minds. Photos in this post courtesy of ReX13.)

By CagePotato.com Fan Expo video contest winner Chris "Viva Hate" Morse

First, let me start by saying welcome aboard to all the new readers and members of CagePotato Nation. It was a pleasure and joy to meet, chat, hang, and beat down the punch machine with each and every one of you. Make yourselves comfortable and enjoy the complete experience of Cage Potato. Now, let’s get to the fun.

The experience began at the Semi Official Cage Potato meet up that went down on Thursday night at Champions Sports Bar. It was somewhat casual and to be honest some people may have had some trouble finding the group. Thank you to all of those that did come out. Hopefully everyone was able to try the Championship Tower, it was amazing and I would highly recommend it. I would also recommend you carry an AED with you as well, just in case.

The UFC Fan Expo was an amazing experience and the Cage Potato booth was extremely popular. I do feel somewhat bad for the punch machine that was literally having the stuffing knocked out of it by mid day on Friday. For those of you who were not lucky enough to make it to Boston, here are some notes from the booth…

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