History was made at UFC 180, and it wasn’t even on the main card! A preliminary bout between Jessica Eye and Leslie Smith produced one of the grossest visuals in MMA recently.
Eye battered Smith throughout the first round. One of Eye’s punches glanced Smith’s ear, rupturing it in the first round. In the second round, Eye kept smashing the ear, turning it into a gory mess worse than that of James Thompson when he fought Kimbo Slice.
Check out the image below (courtesy Zombie Prophet), but keep in mind it’s not for the faint of heart…
History was made at UFC 180, and it wasn’t even on the main card! A preliminary bout between Jessica Eye and Leslie Smith produced one of the grossest visuals in MMA recently.
Eye battered Smith throughout the first round. One of Eye’s punches glanced Smith’s ear, rupturing it in the first round. In the second round, Eye kept smashing the ear, turning it into a gory mess worse than that of James Thompson when he fought Kimbo Slice.
Check out the image below (courtesy Zombie Prophet), but keep in mind it’s not for the faint of heart:
Yeah. Damn. Understandably, the cage side physician eventually called the fight so Smith could leave the cage with two ears.
(Come up with your own caption, perverts. / Photo via Getty)
UFC Fight Night 56 happened last night and it was pretty boring. During the lull in action, we wondered if there was a prominent MMA fan fiction scene. It turns out there was! The only drawback: A vast majority of the stories featured prominent fighters having sex with other prominent fighters.
We’re not really sure how to say this with our characteristic irreverent tone, so we’re just going to flat out say it: There’s a shit load of MMA slash fic out there. We found it. It’s…well, you need to see for yourself. We don’t like to exaggerate in the headlines but this stuff is far out.
Please don’t construe this as us trying to insult the author. We’re the guys who watch Ultimate Surrender, so we can’t judge how anyone gets their rocks off. We just thought these stories were kind of funny. We think it’s great someone is passionate enough about MMA to write this kind of stuff, honestly. Here are some excerpts from the more wild stories:
(Come up with your own caption, perverts. / Photo via Getty)
UFC Fight Night 56 happened last night and it was pretty boring. During the lull in action, we wondered if there was a prominent MMA fan fiction scene. It turns out there was! The only drawback: A vast majority of the stories featured prominent fighters having sex with other prominent fighters.
We’re not really sure how to say this with our characteristic irreverent tone, so we’re just going to flat out say it: There’s a shit load of MMA slash fic out there. We found it. It’s…well, you need to see for yourself. We don’t like to exaggerate in the headlines but this stuff is far out.
Please don’t construe this as us trying to insult the author. We’re the guys who watch Ultimate Surrender, so we can’t judge how anyone gets their rocks off. We just thought these stories were kind of funny. We think it’s great someone is passionate enough about MMA to write this kind of stuff, honestly. Here are some excerpts from the more wild stories:
Title: UFC 178 Date Fighters who bang: Nick Diaz and Alexander Gustafsson. Summary: Nate Diaz pukes on Gustafsson and passes out. Then Gustafsson punches Nick Diaz in the face and Nick gives him a blowjob. Excerpt:
He leaned over and kissed Nick on the cheek that he punched. Nick turned towards him and kissed him back. Gustafsson took his shirt off. He’d been dying to get it off. It still smelled of Nate’s vomit. Nick kept his T-shirt on and both fighters made out on the sofa.
Check out the full story for the x-rated parts [Ed’s note: We’d post the erotic details here but corporate doesn’t really like serious, hardcore fetish writing posted on their web properties.]
Title: Mayhem In Stockton Fighters who bang: Nick Diaz and Mayhem Miller. Summary: After Mayhem Miller loses to CB Dollaway, he runs into Nick Diaz in the locker room. They have a scuffle and Diaz gives Miller a blowjob. Excerpt:
He laid still as Diaz hiked up his shirt and started to kiss his chest. ‘Hey Nick how much have you smoked today?’ Miller asked, confused. ‘None, you want me to stop?’ Diaz asked, leaning over on Miller’s stomach and twisting his belt. ‘Fuck no, just making conversation,’ Miller said as he pushed Nick’s hand away and undid his own belt. Miller kind of guessed that Nick hadn’t been the academic type at school and Diaz wasn’t gonna give ‘the eggheads’ a run for their money, but he had to give it to him, the kid knew how to give a good blowjob.
Title: Weidman vs. Silva 3. Fighters who bang: Chris Weidman, Anderson Silva (with a cameo from Nick Diaz) Summary: Chris Weidman visits Anderson Silva in the hospital after their second fight and they make out and do some light foreplay. Excerpt:
‘Now I have to go back to the hotel room…without you. It sucks,’ Chris said leaning over and kissing Silva on the mouth. Silva didn’t have the energy to kiss him back, but he stroked Chris’ arm instead. Weidman and Silva had been seeing each other since early June, before their first fight during UFC 162. Neither of them had planned it. For both of them. It was casual. Chris liked it that way, until tonight. Ever since that kick, Chris had jsut wanted to take Silva home and look after him.
Title: Dana vs. Daley Fighters who bang: Dana White and Paul Daley. Summary: Paul Daley gets on his knees so he can return to the UFC. Excerpt:
Without warning Paul scurried over to Dana on the chair and kissed him. Without thinking Dana kissed him back. They made out on the sofa until Paul started to unbuckle Dana’s jeans. Dana’s leg twitched.
Those were the most notable stories. And to reiterate, we’re not trying to make fun of the guy who wrote these. We throw shade at Zuffa (and Viacom) brass, not at MMA fans just trying to have fun and share their love (albeit erotic) of MMA with other people. If you’d like more MMA fan fiction, go here — though we can understand if you never want to read MMA fanfic again.
Sometimes we hate being right. Last night on Twitter, we predicted Ovince St. Preux would run through Mauricio “Shogun” Rua without effort. We had no idea how prescient our tweet would be.
As you can see above, OSP dispatched the Pride legend without even exerting himself. It only took 34 seconds. To make it worse, Shogun absorbed a ton of unnecessary damage as Yario Yamasaki let OSP batter the Brazilian’s skull. Such slack-jawed gawking aside, this fight was entertaining for the violent spectacle that it was. OSP isn’t a man to write off, and Shogun definitely needs to retire in this point.
There were some other fights last night as well, but they weren’t really anything to write home about (and if you did wrote home about them, you’d get a reply that’s like “What are you talking about? Who the fuck are these people?”). But in case you’re one of the TRUE HARDCORE ULTIMATE BAD BOYZ who comments about how much we hate MMA on our Facebook page, we’ll post the card’s full results. Check them out after the jump.
Sometimes we hate being right. Last night on Twitter, we predicted Ovince St. Preux would run through Mauricio “Shogun” Rua without effort. We had no idea how prescient our tweet would be.
As you can see above, OSP dispatched the Pride legend without even exerting himself. It only took 34 seconds. To make it worse, Shogun absorbed a ton of unnecessary damage as Yario Yamasaki let OSP batter the Brazilian’s skull. Such slack-jawed gawking aside, this fight was entertaining for the violent spectacle that it was. OSP isn’t a man to write off, and Shogun definitely needs to retire in this point.
There were some other fights last night as well, but they weren’t really anything to write home about (and if you did wrote home about them, you’d get a reply that’s like “What are you talking about? Who the fuck are these people?”). But in case you’re one of the TRUE HARDCORE ULTIMATE BAD BOYZ who comments about how much we hate MMA on our Facebook page, we’ll post the card’s full results:
Ovince Saint Preux def. Mauricio Rua via TKO (punches) – Round 1, 0:34
Warlley Alves def. Alan Jouban via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Claudio Silva def. Leon Edwards via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Dhiego Lima def. Jorge Oliveira via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Juliana Lima def. Nina Ansaroff via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Diego Rivas def. Rodolfo Rubio via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Caio Magalhaes def. Trevor Smith via knockout (knee, punches) – Round 1, 0:31
Leandro Silva def. Charlie Brenneman via submission (rear-naked choke) – Round 1 4:15
Thomas Almeida def. Tim Gorman via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
Colby Covington def. Wagner Silva via submission (rear-naked choke) – Round 3, 3:26
The UFC made an announcement about McCall’s condition earlier this morning, stating that McCall had “taken ill” after the weigh ins in Brazil and withdrew as a result.
There is no replacement for McCall, so Lineker just won’t fight and Alan Jouban vs. Warlley Alves will be upgraded to co-main event.
The UFC made an announcement about McCall’s condition earlier this morning, stating that McCall had “taken ill” after the weigh ins in Brazil and withdrew as a result.
There is no replacement for McCall, so Lineker just won’t fight and Alan Jouban vs. Warlley Alves [Ed’s note: LOL who are these guys?] will be upgraded to co-main event.
MMAJunkie claimed McCall’s infection was viral and it was severe enough to land McCall in the hospital last night.
And as Junkie noted, McCall admitted to being sick before he left for Brazil.
“I probably shouldn’t say this, but I just got my blood work back, my white blood cell count is through the roof,” he told MMA Weekly’s Majority Radio. “I’m sick, over-trained, or whatever it may be.”
Honestly, this sucks. It sucks because we legitimately wanted to see how this fight would play out — especially since McCall taunted Lineker, who missed weight his first attempt, at the weigh-ins by taking an extra-long swig of whatever drink it was he was using to rehydrate. It also sucks because now UFC Fight Night 56 is that much less powerful.
While you can’t necessarily provide a full judgement of a fight card before you watch it, you can at least provide an on-paper judgement. And on paper, this card just got a whole lot worse. Anyone who recognizes all the names gets a free XXL CagePotato t-shirt [Ed’s note: Not really].
Here’s the full card, in case you forgot:
Main card
Ovince Saint Preux vs. Mauricio Rua
Alan Jouban vs. Warlley Alves
Leon Edwards vs. Claudio Silva
Jorge de Oliveira vs. Dhiego Lima
Nina Ansaroff vs. Juliana Lima
Preliminary card
Rodolfo Rubio vs. Diego Rivas
Trevor Smith vs. Caio Magalhaes
Charlie Brenneman vs. Leandro Silva
Tim Gorman vs. Thomas Almeida
Colby Covington vs. Wagner Silva
We’re going to have to wait a little longer to see if Cristiane Justino can make 135 pounds.
Justino was scheduled to fight at bantamweight for the very first time at Invicta FC 10. Alas, the MMA gods are cruel and spiteful creatures. “Cyborg” recently sustained an ankle injury (a tear of her anterior talofibular ligament, according to Sherdog) and won’t be able to fight.
BUMMER.
(Photo via Getty)
We’re going to have to wait a little longer to see if Cristiane Justino can make 135 pounds.
Justino was scheduled to fight at bantamweight for the very first time at Invicta FC 10. Alas, the MMA gods are cruel and spiteful creatures. “Cyborg” recently sustained an ankle injury (a tear of her anterior talofibular ligament, according to Sherdog) and won’t be able to fight.
BUMMER.
The biggest hurdle to Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino vs. Ronda Rousey has always been the weight issue. Rousey fights at bantamweight and Cyborg always claimed she couldn’t make that weight — this was until July when she announced she was going to finally fight at 135 pounds.
If she made bantamweight in Invicta (a quasi-appendage of the UFC) and won, it’s not presumptuous to think Cyborg might wind up in the UFC fighting Ronda Rousey at some point in the near future.
But no such luck, at least for now.
By the way, speaking of Invicta, there was an Invicta event on last night: Invicta FC 9. The full results are below if you’re interested:
Barb Honchak def. Takayo Hashi via unanimous decision (49-46, 50-45, 50-45)
Karolina Kowalkiewicz def. Mizuki Inoue via split decision (28-29, 29-28, 29-28)
Raquel Pa’aluhi def. Kaitlin Young via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Jodie Esquibel def. Nicdali Rivera-Calanoc via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Amber Brown def. Liz McCarthy via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 30-27)
Amanda Bell def. Maria Hougaard Djursaa via TKO (punches) – Round 1, 4:56
Andrea K. Lee def. Shannon Sinn via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Jamie Moyle def. Jenny Liou via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Kelly McGill def. Maegan Goodwin via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
Every MMA fighter’s career has a downward arc, but few were as fast and drastic as that of Miguel Torres. Last night was just another painful GIF in that chapter.
Torres took on former Bellator fighter (and season 10 featherweight tournament semifinalist) Desmond Green in the main event of last night’s Titan FC 31. It wasn’t pretty. Green out-hustled Torres and finished him with a brutal knee and follow-up punches in under a minute.
It was a sad thing to see for people who remember Torres in his prime back in the WEC days. Torres was once the WEC bantamweight champ. At his best, he was an incredible 37-1. Then he lost to Brian Bowles at WEC 42 and Joseph Benavidez at WEC 47. When the UFC absorbed the WEC, he went 2-2, with losses to Demetrious Johnson and Michael McDonald.
Every MMA fighter’s career has a downward arc, but few were as fast and drastic as that of Miguel Torres. Last night was just another painful GIF in that chapter.
Torres took on former Bellator fighter (and season 10 featherweight tournament semifinalist) Desmond Green in the main event of last night’s Titan FC 31. It wasn’t pretty. Green out-hustled Torres and finished him with a brutal knee and follow-up punches in under a minute.
It was a sad thing to see for people who remember Torres in his prime back in the WEC days. Torres was once the WEC bantamweight champ. At his best, he was an incredible 37-1. Then he lost to Brian Bowles at WEC 42 and Joseph Benavidez at WEC 47. When the UFC absorbed the WEC, he went 2-2, with losses to Demetrious Johnson and Michael McDonald.
When the UFC sent him his walking papers, he went to the WSOF where he lost to Marlon Moraes and the unheralded can Pablo Alfonso. After this, Torres was relegated to fighting people like Wade Choate (Editor’s note: lol wut?) in the minor leagues. The fight against Des Green was the first time since 2012 Torres fought real competition, and it’s clear he can’t handle it anymore. What a shame.
The complete results for Titan FC 31 are below:
Main Card
Desmond Green def. Miguel Torres via knockout (strikes) – Round 1, 0:46
Ken Hasegawa def. Matt Thompson via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Hayder Hassan def. Felipe Portela via TKO (punches) – Round 1, 3:23
Sirwan Kakai def. Joe Barajas via submission (arm-triangle choke) – Round 3, 4:40
Tyler Stinson def. Jose Figueroa via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Preliminary Card
Kenny Garner def. Scott Barrett via split decision (28-29, 30-27, 29-28)
Steve Montgomery def. Brock Jardine via knockout (knee) – Round 2, 0:26
Michael Graves def. Rafael Souza via submission (rear-naked choke) – Round 2, 2:37
Mike Bruno def. Kamrin Naville via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
William Sizemore def. Matt Wagy via submission (guillotine choke) – Round 3, 0:50
