Keyboard Warriors: No Suit For Tito

Happy Monday, Nation. We hope you had a good weekend. No, really, we hope you’re in a good mood, since we’re presenting the second installment of Keyboard Warrior. Hopefully everyone had naked funtime last night, slept like a baby, and had a great breakfast this morning. Otherwise, we imagine there will be lots of very not-nice things in the comments.

We’ve changed up the appearance of KBW, making it look more like a typical MMA forum, complete with the kind of critical information any Keyboard Warrior should have for important discussion, like join date and number of posts. Maybe now it won’t seem like we’re blatantly ripping off other peoples’ ideas.

You can read the first episode here (all two pages of it), check out number two, and then you’re welcome to leave suggestions, ideas, and odes to our greatness below.

Thanks again to WithLeather and @MrBrandonStroud for letting us blatantly rip off their ideas.

[RX]

Happy Monday, Nation. We hope you had a good weekend. No, really, we hope you’re in a good mood, since we’re presenting the second installment of Keyboard Warrior. Hopefully everyone had naked funtime last night, slept like a baby, and had a great breakfast this morning. Otherwise, we imagine there will be lots of very not-nice things in the comments.

We’ve changed up the appearance of KBW, making it look more like a typical MMA forum, complete with the kind of critical information any Keyboard Warrior should have for important discussion, like join date and number of posts. Maybe now it won’t seem like we’re blatantly ripping off other peoples’ ideas.

You can read the first episode here (all two pages of it), check out number two, and then you’re welcome to leave suggestions, ideas, and odes to our greatness below.

Thanks again to WithLeather and @MrBrandonStroud for letting us blatantly rip off their ideas.

[RX]

Five Reasons Zuffa Won’t Buy Bellator


“So then I said to Dana, I said, ‘Look, big guy, you take that check, and you roll it up real tight…'”

With the UFC’s current deal with BFF network Spike set to run out at the end of the year, Zuffa has been looking at other options on television, including buying a stake in cable network G4. It’s been fertile ground for all manner of rumors, but one piece of speculation that kept popping up was that Zuffa may be looking at buying Bellator Fighting Championships. This is not really a new idea, and it’s understandable given Zuffa’s demonstrated willingness to swallow its competition, but it ain’t happening.

Sure, Zuffa has pockets deep enough to write a check for the young up and coming promotion, but would they actually be interested in doing so? What would such an acquisition do for the UFC? Could they convert Bellator’s circular steel to Zuffa’s angular cage? Do they need Bjorn Rebney to come up and teach the finer points of running tournaments? Are guys like Eddie Alvarez, Ben Askren, Joe Warren, and Hector Lombard valuable enough to justify a takeover?

Well, short answer: no. Everyone knows that you can’t octagon a circle, so Zuffa would likely have a handful of round cages with nothing to do with them. Who wants a cage that doesn’t reflect your company’s logo? Come on, people, that’s just elementary.

Come on in past the jump and we’ll lay out our case, woefully uninformed though it may be, as to why Zuffa will not be buying Bellator anytime in the near future. We’ll even open up the floor for comments, if you jerks think you know better than we do. Just remember, if you make us look silly, we’re completely capable of doing humorous things to your log-ins, like adding links to diaper fetish sites and penis pump vendors. You’ve been warned.


“So then I said to Dana, I said, ‘Look, big guy, you take that check, and you roll it up real tight…’”

With the UFC’s current deal with BFF network Spike set to run out at the end of the year, Zuffa has been looking at other options on television, including buying a stake in cable network G4. It’s been fertile ground for all manner of rumors, but one piece of speculation that kept popping up was that Zuffa may be looking at buying Bellator Fighting Championships. This is not really a new idea, and it’s understandable given Zuffa’s demonstrated willingness to swallow its competition, but it ain’t happening.

Sure, Zuffa has pockets deep enough to write a check for the young up and coming promotion, but would they actually be interested in doing so? What would such an acquisition do for the UFC? Could they convert Bellator’s circular steel to Zuffa’s angular cage? Do they need Bjorn Rebney to come up and teach the finer points of running tournaments? Are guys like Eddie Alvarez, Ben Askren, Joe Warren, and Hector Lombard valuable enough to justify a takeover?

Well, short answer: no. Everyone knows that you can’t octagon a circle, so Zuffa would likely have a handful of round cages with nothing to do with them. Who wants a cage that doesn’t reflect your company’s logo? Come on, people, that’s just elementary.

Come on in past the jump and we’ll lay out our case, woefully uninformed though it may be, as to why Zuffa will not be buying Bellator anytime in the near future. We’ll even open up the floor for comments, if you jerks think you know better than we do. Just remember, if you make us look silly, we’re completely capable of doing humorous things to your log-ins, like adding links to diaper fetish sites and penis pump vendors. You’ve been warned.

1.  Zuffa doesn’t want or need Bellator’s assets, i.e. fighters’ contracts. Every fighter that steps into the Bellator steel, with only a very few exceptions, already have their eyes set on the UFC. While there are guys like Eddie Alvarez who are more than happy with their pay and treatment, most guys have their sights set on the big money PPV land of the UFC. Likewise, Zuffa is not interested in the library of video owned by Bellator, either. While other acquisitions that Zuffa has made through the years have been influenced by a wealth of primo ass-kicking footage (PRIDE, WEC, IFL, Showtime…mostly PRIDE though), there’s relatively little of interest to the UFC. All due respect to guys like Yahir Reyes Jose Vega, and Rich Hale, but the UFC has no interest in insane highlights of guys that will likely not ever compete at the UFC level.

2. The UFC needs a developmental resource. Whatever you call it, there has to be a system in place for fighters to gain experience and develop some kind of pro record. If those fighters can get national exposure along the way, all the better. Just look at this list of former King of the Cage champions that have gone on to compete in the UFC that we considered making (we decided against it).  While Strikeforce will probably become the minor leagues for the UFC eventually, Bellator’s existence for now serves a helpful purpose to Zuffa.

3. Because Bjorn says “no.” Bellator has been through tough times,  but Rebney believes its value is growing strongly. While there is a great deal of speculation that BFC is losing money, executives at MTV2 are reportedly tickled pink with ratings from Bellator. Add to that the talk around pretty much every campfire that Spike expects to lose its relationship with the UFC, and that network suits are taking a look at Bellator to fill the aching hole that will be left behind, and it seems like a fair assumption that there’s growth ahead for the promotion as a whole.  Why cash out now?

4. Why buy when you can counter-program? This is where Strikeforce comes in again. Given enough time, there will be fluidity between the UFC and Strikeforce, allowing fighters to be called up from (and sent down to) the minors whenever Joe Silva sees something he wants, or a UFCer needs to pick up a couple of wins.  We’re already starting to see these kinds of contracts come out for Strikeforce guys.  As a result, there will always be enough established name talent fighting under the Strikeforce banner to put together compelling broadcasts, whether it be on Showtime, network television, or the UFC Channel.  That gives Zuffa a very large hammer to aim at any competition that pops up.  Dana has already shown that he’ll counter-program his competition — and usually win. If Zuffa ever does look to acquire Bellator, expect a solid counter-programming campaign first.

5.  It could look like a monopoly. After Zuffa’s purchase of what was universally seen as the UFC main competition, Strikeforce, rumors have circulated that the Federal Trade Commission was taking a look at Zuffa for possible legal issues, including establishing a monopoly. In our completely informed expert opinion </sarcasm>, it’s the very existence of promotions like Bellator and Shark Fights — smaller MMA organizations that have fair access to the market — that would support Zuffa and the UFC as fair competitors.  As far as the other stuff, hey, we’re just hack journalists (which may be one step up from being a  “shitsite“), not lawyers.  With the benefits of acquiring Bellator being debatable, why give your detractors (and the feds) ammo to use against you?

Disagree?  Go ahead and make your case below.  Just remember, we’re not above linking your screen name to pictures of Tito’s junk.

[RX]

Trash Talkin Kid: Sonnen’s Smack Light Years Ahead of Everyone


Who writes these?  Because we may have a job for him.

Whether you think he’s the most entertaining character in MMA right now, or you think he’s the boldest sort of hypocritical cheater, you kind of have to admit that no one — no one — can touch Chael Sonnen for smack talk. There seem to be no rhyme or reason to his endless stream of one-liners, and there’s no telling who he’ll target on any given day.

Who writes these?  Because we may have a job for him.

Whether you think he’s the most entertaining character in MMA right now, or you think he’s the boldest sort of hypocritical cheater, you kind of have to admit that no one — no one — can touch Chael Sonnen for smack talk. There seem to be no rhyme or reason to his endless stream of one-liners, and there’s no telling who he’ll target on any given day.

Sonnen famously used Twitter to trash Anderson Silva in the lead-up to their fight last August, and Anderson (or “Andy”, as Sonnen likes to call him) has remained a favorite whipping boy ever since. Aside from Silva, Sonnen has gone to Twitter to shit talk Michael Bisping, Jason Miller, Wanderlei Silva, Vitor Belfort, Georges St. Pierre and the entire city of Toronto, the Nogueira brothers, The Hangover 2, The Bachelor, Mirko CroCop, Lyoto Machida… seriously, this guy is a never-ending fountain of the kind of talk that will get you curb-stomped outside of a Waffle House, then possibly urinated on.

In all honesty, we kinda wonder where he gets his material.   Tweeting that many one-liners in itself is rather impressive, considering pretty much any one of these would be considered a burn of the burningest magnitude from another fighter.   For Uncle Chael, it’s just another day at the keyboard.   If he never manages to get licensed, he could probably make a decent living running an irreverent MMA site.

Actually, scratch that idea. But he could definitely be a Twitter consultant.

So we’ll leave you with this collection of Tweets, with one more point: this is his output in six days. If you know someone that can do this any better, let us know…because we want to follow him.

[RX]

Better Clear Out Your DVRs — the Summer MMA Schedule is Packed

Come on Internet, where are all the awesome fan-made promos? VidProps: mleqs

Damn, we’re glad we didn’t make plans this summer, because we’re going to be typing our hands off over the next few weeks. After the warm up-act of the TUF 13 Finale, we enter one of those fun times when there’s always another show coming up to talk about: we’ll have some big MMA event every weekend. That’s good for you, since we’re less likely to try something new and different. Also good for us, because ideas are hard.

This Weekend

Friday, 10 JuneMFC 30: Up Close and Personal The biggest MMA promotion in Canada returns for action, featuring Drew Fickett vs Brian Cobb, Marcus Davis vs Pete Spratt, Thomas Denny vs Sheldon Westcott, and the other Lima brother in welterweight action. Stay tuned for a full preview of the card.

Saturday, 11 JuneUFC 131: Carwin vs Dos Santos. More like UFC 131: Snakebit, right? (Just kidding. But seriously.) Carwin vs Dos Santos; plus a pretty nice list of compelling names, but not a lot of intriguing matchups (Poirier vs who?) On the other hand, we couldn’t agree on many predictions while discussing this for the Bum Rush, so no telling how the card goes. Plus, Nick Ring vs James Head jokes will write themselves for a week, easy. Success!


Come on Internet, where are all the awesome fan-made promos? VidProps: mleqs

Damn, we’re glad we didn’t make plans this summer, because we’re going to be typing our hands off over the next few weeks. After the warm up-act of the TUF 13 Finale, we enter one of those fun times when there’s always another show coming up to talk about: we’ll have some big MMA event every weekend.   That’s good for you, since we’re less likely to try something new and different. Also good for us, because ideas are hard.

This Weekend

Friday, 10 JuneMFC 30: Up Close and Personal The biggest MMA promotion in Canada returns for action, featuring Drew Fickett vs Brian Cobb, Marcus Davis vs Pete Spratt, Thomas Denny vs Sheldon Westcott, and the other Lima brother in welterweight action.  Stay tuned for a full preview of the card.

Saturday, 11 JuneUFC 131: Carwin vs Dos Santos. More like UFC 131: Snakebit, right? (Just kidding. But seriously.) Carwin vs Dos Santos; plus a pretty nice list of compelling names, but not a lot of intriguing matchups (Poirier vs who?) On the other hand, we couldn’t agree on many predictions while discussing this for the Bum Rush, so no telling how the card goes. Plus, Nick Ring vs James Head jokes will write themselves for a week, easy.  Success!

Next Weekend

Saturday, 18 June — Strikeforce: Werdum vs Overeem. Yeah, we may poke fun at Strikeforce, but there is no way we would miss this card: Werdum vs Overeem, Barnett (maybe) vs Rogers, Cormier vs Monson, Riggs vs Bro Overeem — stop, stop! you had us “Grand Prix”!   Side note:  Strikeforce has finally figured out that people are interested in the preliminary cards, and have begun to air those as well. You’ll be able to catch Justin Wilcox vs JZ Cavalcante and the rest of the prelims on HDNet.

Minor League Weekend

Friday, 24 JuneStrikeforce Challengers 16. Ryan Couture returns for a Challengers card headlined by Caros Fodor vs. James Terry. We were a little puzzled to see Jason High vs Quinn Mulhern on the prelim: a Dream/Affliction/UFC vet vs a young KOTC champ is on the un-televised portion of a Challengers card? Just who the hell is running things over there?

Saturday, 25 JuneBellator 46. Bellator returns for their Summer Series run, kicking off an eight-man featherweight tourney to bridge the gap between seasons 4 and 5.  We’ll probably ignore it.

Sunday, 26 JuneUFC on Versus 4: Marquardt vs Story. We wish the UFC would go ahead and buy a damn network and be done with it, these naming schemes are getting convoluted. Ultimate Fight Night, UFC on Versus, UFC Live, TUF Finale — why do you make us work so hard Dana?? Rick Story steps in on short notice to headline UFC Whatever against Nate Marquardt, plus our BFF forever Pat Barry vs guy that really hates us Cheick Kongo. (We got Barry in this one.)

July 4th Weekend

Saturday, 2 JulyUFC 132: Cruz vs Faber 2. Why not UFC 132: Role Reversal? Cruz was the challenger and Faber was the champ four years ago at featherweight, when Cruz suffered his only loss to date.   Now Faber has followed Cruz down to 135 and looks to claim his title.  Damn, we should totally start making promos for these things. All we need is a cool movie voice guy. And some video editing stuff. Probably some talent would help. Anyways, this is a wildly stacked card for fans of the lighter weight classes, for everyone else there’s Wandy vs Leben.

After UFC 132, there’s a full twelve days of waiting until Dream.17 (which you probably won’t see in the states live), and a terrifying 28 days until Strikeforce: Hendo v Fedor. Yikes. Guess we haven’t seen the last of Keyboard Warriors yet after all.

[RX]

Cerrone Puts Danzig on Blast, Rocha on Notice


“…and I call this here the ‘cattle prod’.”

Donald Cerrone faces UFC newcomer Vagner Rocha this weekend at UFC 131, but to hear him tell it, he knows next to nothing about the guy. “I haven’t watched any video on him and I haven’t watched any tape on him, I don’t care,” Cerrone told UFC.com, “I’m going in there to fight him like I’m going in there to fight anyone else.”

Of course, “fighting him like anyone else” means that we could well have a Fight of the Night on our hands, an award that Cerrone has picked up five times in four years. His first fight with Ben Henderson in 2009 was a five round war that was Sherdog’s pick for Fight of the Year. Now 14-3 (1 NC), Cerrone has racked up 12 submissions wins, but he’s not interested in going to the ground. Speaking of his opponent, a noted grappler with four of six wins coming via submission, Cerrone lets it be known that he wants a damn fight. “I hope he doesn’t come wanting to make this a jiu-jitsu match,” Cowboy says.


“…and I call this here the ‘cattle prod’.”

Donald Cerrone faces UFC newcomer Vagner Rocha this weekend at UFC 131, but to hear him tell it, he knows next to nothing about the guy. “I haven’t watched any video on him and I haven’t watched any tape on him, I don’t care,” Cerrone told UFC.com, “I’m going in there to fight him like I’m going in there to fight anyone else.”

Of course, “fighting him like anyone else” means that we could well have a Fight of the Night on our hands, an award that Cerrone has picked up five times in four years.  His first fight with Ben Henderson in 2009 was a five round war that was Sherdog’s pick for Fight of the Year.  Now 14-3 (1 NC), Cerrone has racked up 12 submissions wins, but he’s not interested in going to the ground.  Speaking of his opponent, a noted grappler with four of six wins coming via submission, Cerrone lets it be known that he wants a damn fight. “I hope he doesn’t come wanting to make this a jiu-jitsu match,” Cowboy says.

Vagner Rocha is a Brazilian by birth, but lives and trains in Florida under Pablo Popovitch. Rocha’s 6-1 record includes two wins on Bellator undercards and a decision loss to Bret Bergmark under the Strikeforce banner… and that pretty much sums up the information on Rocha, who most of us know very little about. While his grappling credentials are as legit as they come, there is some concern that he’s too one-dimensional to offer Cerrone much difficulty on the feet.

Cerrone had a few choice words for his previous opponent, Mac Danzig, who pulled out of the fight with Cerrone last month. Danzig started some trash talk on Twitter, saying “So all you have to do to secure a fight you haven’t earned is wear a silly hat, call yourself ‘Cowboy’ and talk trash? Seems strange.” Cerrone did not take kindly to that sort of discourse, and believes that Danzig faked an injury to avoid the fight, responding:

“I wasn’t surprised he faked the injury and pulled out of the fight because that is what happens when you talk shit and can’t back it up. I was very motivated for that fight. I was getting ready to go in there and show Mac why I belong in the UFC. But just because Mac pulled out doesn’t mean I’m not coming for him. He’s still going to get his ass kicked. If he wants to talk shit then he’s going to get his ass kicked. That fight will happen.”

Now, we’re all for guys getting fired up before they step into the cage, but we hope Cerrone isn’t looking past this Rocha fellow. A loss to some random dude would hamper the momentum Cowboy has generated over since his win at WEC 53 in December, momentum he needs to climb the ladder in UFC’s packed lightweight division. But Cerrone has words for Rocha as well: “Don’t come and try to pull guard. I don’t want to have a boring fight and disappoint anybody. So come ready to throw down.”
Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about. Gitty up, Cowboy.

[RX]

Overeem and Werdum Want UFC Fights, Water Wet, Sky Blue

“Say ‘Cheese’ fellas! We’re going to the UFC! Drinks are on me tonight.”

You know, we haven’t always been as friendly and respectful to Scott Coker and company the past few years as we could have been. Some of you have even called us haters, right here to our damn faces. However, since this is CagePotato and not CompletelyProfessionalMMAReporting.com, and since most of you assholes come here because we’re assholes, we figure that’s just peachy. That said, Strikeforce does manage to put together some stacked shows, when they’re given enough time between events.

Case in point: Strikeforce’s June 18 show in Dallas boasts a boatload (a large boat, son) of names taking part in the Neverending Story that is the SF heavyweight Grand Prix. Overeem vs Werdum is obviously the big one, but we’ve also got Josh Barnett vs Brett Rogers, Cormier vs Monson, the other Overeem vs that guy with the sideburns, KJ Noons , JZ Cavalcante vs Justin Wilcox… this is a stacked effing card, you pricks. So there, we said something nice. We marked it on our calendar, so it will be nothing but assholery and dick jokes until the autumnal equinox.

Or until the next UFC-Strikeforce superfight, whichever comes first. And with the recent news that cross-promotional fights are on the table for UFC and Strikeforce, we expect to hear SF champs making their case for a superfight of their own.

“Say ‘Cheese’ fellas!  We’re going to the UFC!  Drinks are on me tonight.”

You know, we haven’t always been as friendly and respectful to Scott Coker and company the past few years as we could have been. Some of you have even called us haters, right here to our damn faces. However, since this is CagePotato and not CompletelyProfessionalMMAReporting.com, and since most of you assholes come here because we’re assholes, we figure that’s just peachy. That said, Strikeforce does manage to put together some stacked shows, when they’re given enough time between events.

Case in point: Strikeforce’s June 18 show in Dallas boasts a boatload (a large boat, son) of names taking part in the Neverending Story that is the SF heavyweight Grand Prix. Overeem vs Werdum is obviously the big one, but we’ve also got Josh Barnett vs Brett Rogers, Cormier vs Monson, the other Overeem vs that guy with the sideburns, KJ Noons , JZ Cavalcante vs Justin Wilcox… this is a stacked effing card, you pricks. So there, we said something nice. We marked it on our calendar, so it will be nothing but assholery and dick jokes until the autumnal equinox.

Or until the next UFC-Strikeforce superfight, whichever comes first. And with the recent news that cross-promotional fights are on the table for UFC and Strikeforce, we expect to hear SF champs making their case for a superfight of their own.

As a few of you pointed out yesterday, Gilbert Melendez has every right to be thrown in the UFC lightweight title mix, but don’t expect to see that materialize anytime soon. The difference is that the lightweight division is drowning in contenders right now, while UFC matchmaker Joe Silva has recently started studying lucid dreaming and astral projection to come up with suitable challengers for Georges St. Pierre. GSP and Nick Diaz have both drained the pool of valid contenders, so the matchup (whether it goes against “business as usual” or not) was a no-brainer.

So let’s talk about interesting divisions. The UFC’s heavyweight class has historically been the promotion’s shallowest, while Strikeforce has essentially staked its reputation on having an elite group of 265ers, so there’s a bit of parity between the two. With Strikeforce’s Grand Prix going on (and on….and on…..), the promotion will look to determine its own rankings as objectively as possible. To date, however, there have been no plans for the tournament champion after he’s crowned.

Fabricio Werdum and Alistair Overeem have some ideas, though. The winner of their June 18 battle will likely be the favorite to win the tourney crown, and both fighters are making noise about wanting a shot at the UFC champ after the GP is over (which is currently forecast to finish in June of 2016, at the current pace). With Diaz-GSP now official for October, it’s not hard to believe that the eventual tournament winner will be challenging the UFC champ quickly. Of course, there’s no telling who the representatives will be (Dos Santos and Overeem, shhhhh don’t tell nobody), but if someone were taking bets about which division will be consolidated first under the Zuffa banner, we’ve got a five spot and a dirty CP shirt we’ll put on the heavyweights.

[RX]