Friday Links: Josh Koscheck Gets a New Desk Job, ‘Killa B’ Back in the UFC, Girls Dressed Like Ninja Turtles + More

(“I *SAY* TINGS, AND DEN I GO OUT AND *DO* DUM. AND PEOPLE DAYW ME WHEN I *SAY* DEM. UNTIL I GO AND *DO* DUM.” / Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Josh Koscheck Joins FOX Sports 1 Broadcast Desk for ‘Bader vs. St. Preux’ (UFC on FOX)

NSAC Files Formal Complaint Against Wanderlei Silva (MMAJunkie)

With Titan FC’s Blessing, Ben Saunders Returns to UFC (MMAFighting)

UFC Announcer Mike Goldberg to Call Two NFL Games This Upcoming Season (Sherdog)

You’re Massively Underprepared For A Fight – Here’s The Most Important Lesson You Need (AskMen)

Girls Dressed Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Radass)

The Worst Video Games of the ’90s (Gamefront)

Do Movies With Intentionally Misspelled Titles Always Suck? An Investigation (ScreenJunkies)

Check Out Greg Oden’s Hilarious Mugshot (EveryJoe)

Be Glad They’re Extinct: 3 Bizarre Dinosaurs You Never Learned About (DoubleViking)

Nicki Minaj’s Latest Photoshoot for Fader Magazine (DrunkenStepfather)

Fake Video of “Drunk Wife Makes Grilled Cheeses” Goes Viral (PopHangover)

Petition Wants “Weird Al” Yankovic For Super Bowl XLIX Half-Time Show (EscapistMagazine)


(“I *SAY* TINGS, AND DEN I GO OUT AND *DO* DUM. AND PEOPLE DAYW ME WHEN I *SAY* DEM. UNTIL I GO AND *DO* DUM.” / Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Josh Koscheck Joins FOX Sports 1 Broadcast Desk for ‘Bader vs. St. Preux’ (UFC on FOX)

NSAC Files Formal Complaint Against Wanderlei Silva (MMAJunkie)

With Titan FC’s Blessing, Ben Saunders Returns to UFC (MMAFighting)

UFC Announcer Mike Goldberg to Call Two NFL Games This Upcoming Season (Sherdog)

You’re Massively Underprepared For A Fight – Here’s The Most Important Lesson You Need (AskMen)

Girls Dressed Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Radass)

The Worst Video Games of the ’90s (Gamefront)

Do Movies With Intentionally Misspelled Titles Always Suck? An Investigation (ScreenJunkies)

Check Out Greg Oden’s Hilarious Mugshot (EveryJoe)

Be Glad They’re Extinct: 3 Bizarre Dinosaurs You Never Learned About (DoubleViking)

Nicki Minaj’s Latest Photoshoot for Fader Magazine (DrunkenStepfather)

Fake Video of “Drunk Wife Makes Grilled Cheeses” Goes Viral (PopHangover)

Petition Wants “Weird Al” Yankovic For Super Bowl XLIX Half-Time Show (EscapistMagazine)

Tim Kennedy, Josh Koscheck, Roy Nelson Rip NSAC over Handling of Sonnen, Belfort

Several notable UFC fighters believe that the Nevada State Athletic Commission was far too lenient in the sanctions it handed down to Vitor Belfort and Chael Sonnen at Wednesday’s hearing. 
As a matter of fact, Belfort didn’t face any sanctions at…

Several notable UFC fighters believe that the Nevada State Athletic Commission was far too lenient in the sanctions it handed down to Vitor Belfort and Chael Sonnen at Wednesday’s hearing. 

As a matter of fact, Belfort didn’t face any sanctions at all—despite admitting that he tested positive for elevated levels of testosterone during a random drug screening in February. 

Belfort was granted a conditional license, which means he will be subject to numerous random drug tests from the NSAC, until a middleweight title fight with Chris Weidman materializes at UFC 181 on December 6, per Thomas Gerbasi of UFC.com.

UFC middleweight contender Tim Kennedy, one of the most outspoken athletes in regard to cleaning up MMA, was up in arms over the fact that Belfort was licensed. 

Belfort, an open user of testosterone replacement therapy before the treatment was banned by the NSAC in February, also failed a drug test for the anabolic steroid 4-hydroxytestosterone in October 2006, per MMA Weekly

Therefore, many were surprised when the NSAC granted him a conditional license going forward. 

Fate was not nearly as kind to former three-time UFC title challenger Sonnen, who was issued a two-year ban by the commission for testing positive for the PEDs human growth hormone (HGH) and recombinant human erythropoietin (EPO) on June 5, per Shaun Al-Shatti of MMA Fighting

He did not receive any monetary penalty as part of the sanctions.

Making matters worse for The American Gangster was the fact that he failed a random drug test administered on May 24 for the anti-estrogenic drugs anastrozole and clomiphene.

In total, that makes three failed drug tests for Sonnen in about four years, as he failed a drug test for elevated levels of testosterone in September 2010 as well, per Sherdog

With all that in mind, former UFC welterweight title challenger Josh Koscheck believed Sonnen got a slap on the wrist.

Not addressing either Sonnen or Belfort in particular, UFC heavyweight Roy Nelson, known for his rotund physique as much as his heavy hands and iron chin, was clearly disappointed in the outcome of the hearing. 

Was the NSAC fair in the way it dealt with Sonnen and Belfort, or did it take a very lax approach to a very serious situation?

 

John Heinis is a featured columnist for Bleacher Report. He is also the MMA editor for eDraft.com.

Read more MMA news on BleacherReport.com

23 Things That Should Be Broadcast on UFC Fight Pass


(We’d include “The Dana White 24/7 feed — all Dana White, all the time,” but that’s kind of what the UFC is already. / Photo via Getty.)

If the UFC expects us to shell out $10 every month to watch local talent and foreign-language reality shows on the Internet, they’ve got another thing coming. Here are some suggestions for new Fight Pass content that would actually make the digital streaming service worth our time and money…

1. Live footage of fighter weight cuts (i.e., “sauna-cam”/”salt bath-cam”). Who wouldn’t want to see how brutal these things can get?

2. The complete library of TUF audition tapes.

3. Dana White bench pressing and doing pull ups.

4. Any existing video of Dana’s old boxercise classes.

5. Nicco Fertitta’s football highlights.

6. Random drug tests.

7. The first season of Keeping Up With the Koschecks.


(We’d include “The Dana White 24/7 feed — all Dana White, all the time,” but that’s kind of what the UFC is already. / Photo via Getty.)

If the UFC expects us to shell out $10 every month to watch local talent and foreign-language reality shows on the Internet, they’ve got another thing coming. Here are some suggestions for new Fight Pass content that would actually make the digital streaming service worth our time and money…

1. Live footage of fighter weight cuts (i.e., “sauna-cam”/”salt bath-cam”). Who wouldn’t want to see how brutal these things can get?

2. The complete library of TUF audition tapes.

3. Dana White bench pressing and doing pull ups.

4. Any existing video of Dana’s old boxercise classes.

5. Nicco Fertitta’s football highlights.

6. Random drug tests.

7. The first season of Keeping Up With the Koschecks.

8. All of the “Ultimate Knockouts” DVDs.

9. Weekly installments of Don Frye’s “Predator’s Predictions.”

10. “The World of Elliot”: A new video blog series starring that Elliot guy who shoots Dana White’s video blogs. (You know, the dude who’s always lurking in the background of staredowns? Yeah, that guy.)

11. Live-stream of the janitors cleaning up the arena after each event.

12. Live-stream of the media buffet.

13. Matt Brown’s Legit Man Shit, but as a TV show.

14. All the fighter interview footage that was left on the cutting room floor while creating the PPV intro packages, extended event trailers, UFC Primetime, and the rest of the UFC’s promotional offerings.

15. All Strikeforce: Challengers events.

16. All PRIDE events.

17. All Best of Pride episodes.

18. NSAC licensing hearings.

19. Contract negotiations.

20. Bout agreement signings.

21. Live-stream of the UFC fighter summit.

22. Live-stream of Dana White gambling at whatever casinos haven’t banned him yet.

23. Live-stream of all church services attended by Vitor Belfort.

Got any other suggestions? Throw ‘em in the comments section or tweet ‘em to us @CagePotatoMMA.

UFC Fantasy Matchmaking: May 2014 Edition

There is an art to matchmaking in combat sports.
While some fights come together with natural ease, most bouts are formed through a hectic process of evaluation. Several aspects need to be graded on each side of the table before committing to the match…

There is an art to matchmaking in combat sports.

While some fights come together with natural ease, most bouts are formed through a hectic process of evaluation. Several aspects need to be graded on each side of the table before committing to the matchup.

Whether or not a fight makes sense in the divisional scheme, timing and making sure both fighters stand to gain similar rewards are the most pressing issues that come to mind. Then, of course, there is the most important aspect of a potential fight: Will both competitors be willing to mix it up and put on a show?

The unfortunate part of the process comes when all of these criteria are met, and the fight fails to deliver. That said, the UFC showcases far more exciting tilts than flat fights these days, which goes to show just how good Joe Silva and Sean Shelby are at their jobs.

The 2014 campaign is well underway, and fight fans have been treated to a storm of action-packed tilts from all corners of the UFC roster. Crucial bouts with future title implications on the line have taken place in several divisions, with the winners taking a step closer to a championship opportunity and the losers being reshuffled back into a stacked deck.

The competition level in nearly every division under the UFC banner is at an all-time high, and that creates a situation where every bout that takes place at the elite level holds the utmost importance. There is very little room for error for those looking to hold their places in the divisional hierarchy as a batch of hungry competitors are eager to move up the ladder and replace them.

Every month we use this column to draw up three possible matchups that would serve to bolster the current state of affairs in the divisions where they would take place, and with the UFC schedule busier in 2014 than ever before, there are plenty of options to chose from.

Let’s take a look at the latest installment of UFC Fantasy Matchmaker.

 

Daniel Cormier vs. Anthony Johnson

After two dominant performances in the heavyweight division, Daniel Cormier decided to drop down a weight class and set his sights on the light heavyweight crown. The Louisiana native has taken strong strides toward reaching his goal as he’s dispatched Patrick Cummings and MMA legend Dan Henderson, respectively, and has done so in relentless fashion.

Yet, while he’s looked impressive in both of his showings at 205 pounds, there are still a few obstacles hindering his bid for a title opportunity. The biggest of which is recent title challenger Alexander Gustafsson, who is the man the UFC has deemed to be next in line to face champion Jon Jones.

The rangy Swede gave the pound-for-pound great all he could handle during their first meeting at UFC 165 last September, and there is a strong amount of buzz surrounding their projected rematch later this year at UFC 177 in Las Vegas.

While “Bones” has yet to agree to the bout, all signs point to “The Mauler” getting the next shot at the title regardless of which card it will headline. Currently, the projected date for the second go-around between Jones and Gustafsson is Aug. 30, and that time frame would put Cormier on the sidelines for an extended clip if he were to sit out and wait to face the winner at the end of the year or possibly early 2015.

Another factor currently hovering over Cormier‘s bid for a title opportunity comes in the quality of the wins he’s collected during his run at light heavyweight.

Despite being originally slated to face former champion Rashad Evans at UFC 170 back in February, “Suga” suffered an injury and was replaced by unknown newcomer Patrick Cummins. While “D.C.” properly thwarted the Orange County native in the first round of their co-main event tilt, defeating Cummins didn’t put his stock through the roof.

That said, the 35-year-old was looking to add an elite name to his list of victories in his next outing, and that’s precisely what he did against Henderson this past weekend at UFC 173. Cormier put a drubbing on the former two-divisional Pride champion and manhandled the former Olympian in a fashion few have managed over the course of “Hendo’s” 16-year career. Yet, despite his lopsided victory over Henderson, it won’t be enough to uproot Gustafsson from the No. 1 contender position.

UFC President Dana White told the media following UFC 173 that he doesn’t want Cormier to wait for his title shot to come around, and that is why Anthony Johnson is the perfect opponent for his next showing.

“Rumble” made his long-awaited return to the Octagon last month against Phil Davis at UFC 172 and did so in impressive fashion. The Team Blackzilians fighter battered “Mr. Wonderful” throughout the 15-minute affair to pick up his first win under the UFC banner since 2011. Johnson’s victory over Davis in Baltimore marked his seventh consecutive successful outing and amplified the buzz that has been building around the South Florida transplant over the past two years.

Where the 30-year-old was once plagued by weight-cutting issues, Johnson seems to have found a comfortable home as a light heavyweight. He has always possessed one-shot put away power, but other elements of his game appear to be in prime form as well. Johnson held a strong pace over the course of his three-round tilt with Davis at UFC 172 and never lost a step from start to finish.

With his power, size and wrestling abilities, Johnson would be an ideal opponent for the undefeated AKA staple.

While the spotlight is currently hovering over Cormier‘s potential title shot, a bout between the two top-ranked light heavyweights would equal rewards for Johnson as well.

If he were able to put the first loss on Cormier‘s professional record, it would make a strong case for him being next in line to compete for the title at 205. On the other hand, should Cormier keep things rolling and defeat the resurgent Johnson, there would be nothing standing between him and his goal of a title shot.

 

Michael McDonald vs. Takeya Mizugaki

The road to a title shot in the bantamweight division is wide open at the current time, and there are a handful of fighters who could make a strong case to earn a championship opportunity in the near future. Michael McDonald and Takeya Mizugaki are both on that particular list, but it is going to take a big win for either man to make that happen.

The scrappy Japanese fighter is currently riding a five-fight winning streak and has risen into the next tier of the 135-pound collective on the strength of that run. The 30-year-old picked up his most recent win at the expense of Francisco Rivera this past weekend at UFC 173, in a fight where his toughness and tenacity were certainly on display throughout the three-round affair. With the win, Mizugaki solidified one of the longest winning streaks currently standing in the division and put himself in a position where bigger opportunities are right around the corner.

With that in mind, McDonald would make the perfect opponent for his next showing inside the Octagon.

The 23-year-old Modesto, California, native has been on the verge of becoming the “next big thing” in the bantamweight division for the past two years. Over that time, “Mayday” has experienced a varying amount of success as he’s steamrolled tough opposition like Miguel Torres and Brad Pickett, but come up painfully short in high-profile tilts against Renan Barao and Urijah Faber.

The transition from talented prospect to elite-level competitor can be a difficult hurdle to overcome, and thus far, McDonald has fallen short on his two previous attempts to solidify that status.

That said, there is no doubting the talent the young Californian possesses. McDonald has shown exceptional power in his hands for a bantamweight and has tremendous “killer instinct” once he senses his opponent is wounded. Mizugaki has built a well-deserved reputation throughout his career for being difficult to break and pushes a pace that keeps him directly in his opponent’s face from start to finish.

In order to move up the ranks into the bantamweight upper tier, Mizugaki will need to add a big name to his resume. In a similar light, McDonald needs a solid victory to remain with the elite at 135, and that makes a potential matchup between the two a fitting option for both fighters.

 

Jake Ellenberger vs. Josh Koscheck

While the first two potential matchups in this month’s installment have focused on fighters moving up in their respective title hunts, the final addition shifts to two fighters who desperately need to turn things around in order to remain relevant in the welterweight mix.

The 170-pound weight class is arguably the most competitive collection under the UFC banner, and Jake Ellenberger and Josh Koscheck have both had periods of success in the welterweight fold. Yet, both fighters have experienced difficulty landing in the win column as of late, and that has put their current status in the divisional picture in limbo.

From 2010 to 2012, “The Juggernaut” racked up six consecutive victories that put him within striking distance of earning a shot at the welterweight crown.

That said, a setback against Martin Kampmann in June of 2012 and back-to-back losses in his two most recent showings have the Omaha native on the verge of being pushed out of the elite level at 170. There seemed to be a line to redemption leading into his bout with Robbie Lawler at UFC 173 as talk of a potential title shot lingered, but “Ruthless” proved too much to handle as he stopped Ellenberger in the final round of their tilt.

While two consecutive losses won’t put the heavy-handed Nebraskan on the chopping block, it does put him in a position where he can ill-afford another back step. He will need an impressive showing in his next outing, and Koscheck needs exactly the same thing.

The Ultimate Fighter season one alum has been a fixture in the upper tier of the welterweight division for the past four years. While he came up short in his bid to unseat Georges St-Pierre from the welterweight throne in 2010, he has remained a perennial contender in the highly competitive mix at 170. That said, Koscheck‘s position on the divisional hierarchy has been under heavy fire as of late as the former NCAA Division I national champion wrestler has been turned back in three consecutive outings. 

The 36-year-old was edged out in a close split decision against Johny Hendricks at UFC on Fox 3 back in May of 2012, but he suffered back-to-back first-round knockouts to Robbie Lawler and Tyron Woodley, respectively. A rough patch of that caliber would be enough to cost most fighters their places on the UFC roster, but Koscheck appears to have a bit more life left in him.

The Fresno-based fighter recently said he intends to honor the two fights remaining on his UFC contract and a bout against Ellenberger would not only be an interesting stylistic matchup, but it would be a battle to determine which of the two would remain relevant in the welterweight fold. 

 

Duane Finley is a featured columnist for Bleacher Report. 

Read more MMA news on BleacherReport.com

On This Day in MMA History: Paul Daley Sucker Punches Josh Koscheck, Earns Lifetime Ban From the UFC

By Ben Goldstein

Banning a cage-fighter for punching his opponent in the face is kind of like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500. Of course, context is everything in MMA. Between the first horn and the final horn, you’re allowed to inflict massive head trauma and wrench limbs until they break apart, as long as you avoid the relatively small list of no-nos set forth in the Unified Rules. But if you hit a guy directly after the fight is over? You’re garbage, and nobody wants you.

I’m not trying to call that hypocritical in any way. In fact, it’s these small distinctions — these subtle nods to context and polite behavior — that prevent mixed martial arts from devolving into pure barbarism. Otherwise, MMA would eventually become Thunderdome, and nobody wants that. Well, I’m sure some people want that. But we’re not sociopaths, are we? We’re sports fans. At the end of the day, having fights end with mentally handicapped man-children literally dying in the cage does us no good as a society.

(By the way, how many times have I referenced Master Blaster while running this site? Dozens of times? Thousands? Indeed, it has been a long journey.)

Four years ago today — May 8th, 2010 — at UFC 113 in Montreal, Paul Daley spent three rounds being smothered by the superior wrestling of Josh Koscheck. The fight was as dull as it was predictable. Clearly, Koscheck wasn’t interested in a standup battle against Paul Daley, one of the most dangerous welterweight strikers in MMA history. So, Kos scored a few takedowns and hung out in top position for fifteen minutes. And when it was all over, Paul Daley got to his feet and popped him one.

By Ben Goldstein

Banning a cage-fighter for punching his opponent in the face is kind of like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500. Of course, context is everything in MMA. Between the first horn and the final horn, you’re allowed to inflict massive head trauma and wrench limbs until they break apart, as long as you avoid the relatively small list of no-nos set forth in the Unified Rules. But if you hit a guy directly after the fight is over? You’re garbage, and nobody wants you.

I’m not trying to call that hypocritical in any way. In fact, it’s these small distinctions — these subtle nods to context and polite behavior — that prevent mixed martial arts from devolving into pure barbarism. Otherwise, MMA would eventually become Thunderdome, and nobody wants that. Well, I’m sure some people want that. But we’re not sociopaths, are we? We’re sports fans. At the end of the day, having fights end with mentally handicapped man-children literally dying in the cage does us no good as a society.

(By the way, how many times have I referenced Master Blaster while running this site? Dozens of times? Thousands? Indeed, it has been a long journey.)

Four years ago today — May 8th, 2010 — at UFC 113 in Montreal, Paul Daley spent three rounds being smothered by the superior wrestling of Josh Koscheck. The fight was as dull as it was predictable. Clearly, Koscheck wasn’t interested in a standup battle against Paul Daley, one of the most dangerous welterweight strikers in MMA history. So, Kos scored a few takedowns and hung out in top position for fifteen minutes. And when it was all over, Paul Daley got to his feet and popped him one.

It was a desperate move born out of frustration and a total lack of impulse control.  Apparently, Koscheck was talking shit to Daley during the entire fight, which doesn’t excuse Daley’s actions, but helps to illustrate what an unpleasant experience that fight must have been for the British slugger. As soon as the sucker-punch landed, referee Dan Miragliotta jumped in to restrain Daley, barking “ARE YOU KIDDIN’ ME?” in his burly East Coast accent, reflecting the utter disbelief of everybody who was watching this unfold live. The infamous Strikeforce Nashville brawl had happened less than a month earlier, and now the sport had another public embarrassment to deal with. Suddenly, Paul Daley was the biggest heel in MMA. Then, Josh Koscheck grabbed the mic and immediately reclaimed that title…

Whatever sympathy Koscheck briefly gained from being cheap-shotted was immediately snuffed out when he started insulting Montreal’s sports heroes, unprovoked, in a classic example of his cartoonish assholism. Seven months later, Koscheck returned to Montreal to get torn apart by Georges St-Pierre, in a beatdown so satisfying that we named a Potato Award after it.

But back to the night in question: Immediately after the sucker-punch incident, UFC president Dana White buried Paul Daley in the post-fight press conference, promising that “Semtex” would never fight in the UFC again:

He’s done. I don’t give a shit if he’s the best 170-pounder in the world. He’ll never come back here again…I’m probably the most lenient guy in sports. And this is probably one of the most lenient organizations. We’re all human, we all make mistakes, things happen. [But] there’s no excuse for that. These guys are professional athletes. You don’t ever hit a guy blatantly after the bell like that whether you’re frustrated or not. It was probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen…I don’t care if he fights in every show all over the world and becomes the best and everybody thinks he’s the pound-for-pound best in the world. He will never fight in the UFC ever again.

So far, White has stuck to his word, and Daley has spent the past four years roaming the Earth. He missed weight for a September 2010 Shark Fights appearance against Jorge Masvidal (which Daley won), and missed weight for two separate BAMMA fights in 2011 (which he also won). He went 1-3 in Strikeforce. He showed up in Bellator in 2012 to knock out Rudy Bears, before being released from the promotion due to visa issues stemming from a bar fight arrest. He’s done some kickboxing, and scored violent KO’s in minor promotions east of the Atlantic. He has pleaded for another chance.

And if he hadn’t punched Josh Koscheck after the bell, that one fateful night in Montreal, then what? Maybe he’d stick around for a few more years, collecting UFC knockout bonuses against mid-level veterans, winning a couple and losing one, winning a couple and losing one, until finally the UFC realized he was making too much money for a guy who would never work his way up to a title shot. And in that alternate universe, Paul Daley would be signed to World Series of Fighting right now. I’m not sure which scenario is worse.

Also at UFC 113…

Mauricio “Shogun” Rua became the UFC light-heavyweight champion by knocking out Lyoto Machida in their rematch.

Kimbo Slice was TKO’d by Matt Mitrione in his second official Octagon appearance, then released by the UFC.

Jason MacDonald’s leg snapped and his opponent John Salter was super psyched about it.

25 MMA Reaction GIFs for All Occasions


(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:


(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:

When you need to let the haters know that they ain’t bringing you down:

When you’re not amused. At all: