Tag: lists

The 7 Biggest UFC Busts of All Time: 2014 Edition

It’s been quite a while since we first penned our list of the 7 Biggest UFC Busts of All Time, and a lot has changed in the time since. While some of our choices are even more relevant now than they were when the list was originally published in July of 2009, most of them seem either inaccurate or simply out of date in light of current circumstances. Knowing what we know now, we’ve decided to update our list to align with today’s MMA landscape. Enjoy.

#7 – Robert Drysdale

Robert Drysdale had already achieved the distinction of being one of the most credentialed Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitors and sought-after coaches in all of MMA when he signed with the UFC last year. He had also picked up six straight first round submissions in professional competition, and was primed to make some huge waves in the UFC’s light heavyweight division.

But oh, if only it were that simple. Drysdale was first scheduled to take on Ednaldo Oliveira at UFC 163 until he was forced out of the bout at the last minute due to a “lingering staph infection” and definitely not the fact that he had been denied a therapeutic use exemption for TRT days prior. He was then scheduled to face Cody Donovan at UFC 167, but was denied licensure after an out-of-competition drug test came back with an absolutely absurd 19.4:1 testosterone-to-epitestosterone (T/E) ratio.

You’d think the UFC would have shitcanned Drysdale right then and there, but The Baldfather is nothing if not a softie for guys with a great ground game (lol!). Drysdale was given another shot at the TUF 19 Finale in July, and to his credit, he actually managed to show up and submit Keith Berish in just over 2 minutes. The post-fight drug test, however, would reveal that Drysdale was once again competing with an unnatural level of testosterone flowing through his veins. But hey, at least his T/E ratio was only 12:1 this time!

One fight. Two failed drug tests. And to our knowledge, Drysdale is still employed by the UFC. Let’s hope he can get his sh*t together long enough to pick up one legitimate win before all is said and done.

It’s been quite a while since we first penned our list of the 7 Biggest UFC Busts of All Time, and a lot has changed in the time since. While some of our choices are even more relevant now than they were when the list was originally published in July of 2009, most of them seem either inaccurate or simply out of date in light of current circumstances. Knowing what we know now, we’ve decided to update our list to align with today’s MMA landscape. Enjoy. 

#7 – Robert Drysdale

Robert Drysdale had already achieved the distinction of being one of the most credentialed Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitors and sought-after coaches in all of MMA when he signed with the UFC last year. He had also picked up six straight first round submissions in professional competition, and was primed to make some huge waves in the UFC’s light heavyweight division.

But oh, if only it were that simple. Drysdale was first scheduled to take on Ednaldo Oliveira at UFC 163 until he was forced out of the bout at the last minute due to a “lingering staph infection” and definitely not the fact that he had been denied a therapeutic use exemption for TRT days prior. He was then scheduled to face Cody Donovan at UFC 167, but was denied licensure after an out-of-competition drug test came back with an absolutely absurd 19.4:1 testosterone-to-epitestosterone (T/E) ratio.

You’d think the UFC would have shitcanned Drysdale right then and there, but The Baldfather is nothing if not a softie for guys with a great ground game (lol!). Drysdale was given another shot at the TUF 19 Finale in July, and to his credit, he actually managed to show up and submit Keith Berish in just over 2 minutes. The post-fight drug test, however, would reveal that Drysdale was once again competing with an unnatural level of testosterone flowing through his veins. But hey, at least his T/E ratio was only 12:1 this time!

One fight. Two failed drug tests. And to our knowledge, Drysdale is still employed by the UFC.  Let’s hope he can get his sh*t together long enough to pick up one legitimate win before all is said and done.

#6 – Yoshihiro Akiyama

(Photo via Getty.)

It pains us to say this about the man, the myth, the musical sensation known as “Sexyama”, but to declare his UFC career as anything other than :( would be a far more generous emoji than it deserved. Akiyama — seen above disguised as either a Super Saiyan or a pumpkin — was a K-1 Hero’s tournament winner riding a 14-fight unbeaten streak heading into his promotional debut in July of 2009, which saw him paired against Alan “The Talent” Belcher at UFC 100.

While Akiyama would defeat Belcher by controversial split decision that night, it would be all downhill from there. That he is still competing in the Octagon despite dropping his past four fights is a testament to his drawing power in Japan, a fact made all the more evident by his…let’s call it “convenient” decision to return from a two-year, self-imposed hiatus to take on Amir Sadollah at Fight Night Japan next weekend.

But should Akiyama drop his fifth straight to Sadollah, who himself will be returning from the second prolonged absence of his UFC career, one can expect to see him hang up the gloves for good. If you ask us, though, the UFC really missed the boat by not bringing in Sexyama as a coach on TUF 20. ”Easy on the Eyes, Hard on the Face” is practically the man’s credo, for Christ’s sake.

#5 – Jake Shields

(Photo via Getty.)

There was a lot of public uproar when Shields was suddenly cut by the UFC following his unanimous decision loss to Hector Lombard at UFC 171, and rightfully so. The former Strikeforce middleweight champ had gone 3-1 1 NC in his past 5 fights, was a relatively well known name (if for the wrong reasonzzzzz), and held recent wins over top welterweight contenders in Tyron Woodley and Demian Maia.

The problem was, Shields was never what Dana White would a call a “needle mover” (unlike your Conor McGregors and Royston Wees) and his loss to Lombard proved that he was far too one-dimensional to make another run at the title. As was the case with Jon Fitch and Yushin Okami, Shields simply became “too f*cking expensive” an investment for the UFC to ever see how they would get their return. And, not to pat the promotion on the back and risk losing my job, but they were probably right in letting him go.

The sad truth is, Shields was pretty underwhelming from the very start of his UFC tenure, and if you don’t believe us, look no further than the decision “win” he scored (snored?) over Martin Kampmann in his debut to earn a shot at Georges St. Pierre. Let me ask you this: Of the three victories that Shields would notch following successive losses to St. Pierre and Jake Ellenberger, can anyone remember a single highlight? And no, him getting ragdolled by Sexyama doesn’t count.

#4 – Brandon Vera…Still

What we said back then: “How’s this for a return-on-investment: The UFC paid “The Truth” a total of $76,000 in contracted salary for his first four wins against Fabiano Scherner, Justin Eilers, Assuerio Silva, and Frank Mir — all of them by brutal stoppage, mind you — then paid him $500,000 for his subsequent 1-3 stretch against Tim Sylvia, Fabricio Werdum, Reese Andy, and Keith Jardine. Did the fat paychecks make him soft? Did his long legal dispute with his manager throw off his mental game? It’s hard to know for sure, but by the end of 2008 it was clear that this wasn’t the same Brandon Vera who entered the UFC’s heavyweight division three years before and rocked it like a hurricane.

“The Truth is slated to return in August against Matt Hamill at UFC 102, in a fight that will either re-establish him as a rising star at light-heavyweight, or forever define him as an overpaid can-crusher.”

Ooof. If Brandon Vera was already considered a UFC bust prior to his appearance at UFC 102 (wherein he defeated replacement opponent Krzysztof Soszynski via UD), then the 1-4 1 NC streak that followed should undoubtedly serve as a validation of our assessment. I mean, Vera hadn’t even had his face broken by Jon Jones yet, or been turned into a human bongo drum by Thiago Silva yet, or had his face once again broken by Shogun Rua. Hell, he hadn’t even succumbed to the otherwordly shuck-n-jive skills of Ben Rothwell (IFL neva die!) yet.

For a guy who once claimed that he would hold two UFC titles simultaneously, it would be impossible to dub Vera as anything but a bust by his own assertion alone. He never fought for *one* title, or even in a #1 contender’s match for that matter, but hey, maybe he was just referring to his upcoming OneFC run.

#3 – Jason Miller

Jason Miller was never what you’d call “championship material” — even the folks at EA Sports knew that much about him. He was, however, one of the better fighters to spend the majority of his career outside the UFC and a charismatic, unique individual to boot, so it’s safe to say that the UFC had big plans for him when they brought him over to serve as a coach on the 14th season of The Ultimate Fighter. 

An intense rivalry with Michael Bisping (go figure, right?) fueled that season, and the expectations surrounding Miller were made all the higher by Miller himself. When he stepped into the octagon against the Brit, fans were expecting an intense, technical battle between two of the sport’s better middleweights. What they got instead was one of the worst — if not the worst — performance of Miller’s career. Between his hilariously awkward attempts at standup and his nonexistent gas tank, Miller looked like plain amateurish next to Bisping, who battered and abused him en route to a third round TKO.

It was a loss that Miller’s career would never come from. One that he certainly wouldn’t learn from, at least. After being tentatively granted another shot against CB Dollaway, Miller once again talked himself into a corner, vowing to retire should Dollaway defeat him.

And to Miller’s credit, he kind of did. Following a “backstage tirade” at UFC 146 and a bizarre string of arrests, he has not fought since. Unless you count that bar scuffle with Uriah Hall, that is.

#2 – Alistair Overeem

(Photo via Getty.)

Replacing Vitor Belfort at #2 (which, wow) is Alistair Overeem, the Hercules-armed, Achilles-chinned PRIDE and Strikeforce star whose hype train went off the rails following consecutive KO losses to Bigfoot Silva and Travis Browne, then careened over a cliff into a school for blind, malnourished orphans at Fight Night 50 last weekend. Metaphorically speaking.

For a time, oh, between 2008-2011, Overeem was nothing short of untouchable. Save a couple losses in the kickboxing ring to top-level competition, Overeem utterly destroyed any and all opposition that was placed before him. That many of his fights during that period could be dubbed as hilariously mismatched squash matches did little to persuade us from declaring that Overeem would be the heavyweight champion within a year’s time should the UFC ever sign him.

Well, they did, and Uber proceeded to kick Brock Lesnar right in the diverticulitis, sending a shockwave through the heavyweight division and a message that he was not a man to be messed with. Four fights later, Overeem’s reputation could not be more different.

The upsides to Overeem’s fledging UFC career: He’s made a sh*tload of money, and he will be given another shot despite suffering a record 9th TKO loss (the most of any active UFC fighter) to Ben Rothwell last weekend.

#1 – Mirko Cro Cop…Still

What we said back then: “As we’ve already discussed in a previous list (Ed note: LISTCEPTION), Filipovic made a strong case for himself as the best fighter in the world after storming through PRIDE’s Open Weight Grand Prix Finals in September 2006. When he jumped ship to the UFC shortly after, we expected him to head-kick his way to a heavyweight title. But in stunning, heartbreaking fashion, Cro Cop flamed out of the organization within a year, becoming the first and most dramatic victim of the PRIDE Curse, as well as the biggest bust in UFC history.”

It’s interesting, they were just having a live discussion over at BloodyElbow about whether or not Alistair Overeem was the biggest bust in UFC History. Surprisingly enough, they almost unanimously agreed that it was Cro Cop, citing the same reasons as we did in our original assessment. Cro Cop was on the heels of the performance of his career and the greatest one-night performance in MMA history, and to see him fall from grace so steadily in the UFC was nothing short of heartbreaking for his legions of fans.

Watching the legend get KO’d three consecutive times at the hands of Frank Mir, Brendan Schaub, and Roy Nelson was tough enough, but if you ask me, the absolute nadir of his MMA career came at Legends 2, where he was submitted via A F*CKING NECK CRANK by some guy we can’t even remember. I guess we can take some small solace away from the fact that Cro Cop is still fighting and winning on the Glory kickboxing circuit. I guess…

Dishonorable mentions: Sokoudjou, “Kid” Yamamoto, Brock Lesnar (SHOTS FIRED)

–J. Jones

Throwback Thursday: Alistair Overeem’s Eight Greatest Squash Match Performances


(Simon says, “Die.” Photo via sescoopes)

If the bookies are to be believed, Alistair Overeem should tear through Ben Rothwell like tissue paper at Fight Night Mashantucket tomorrow. Currently listed as high as a 7 to 1 favorite over “Big” Ben, Overeem is already making some pretty bold claims about his next run at a title, which cannot possibly backfire a second time. Hell, Overeem might even throw Anthony Johnson a pity beatdown on his way to said title, just for kicks. He’s THAT confident.

Then again, confidence has never really been an issue for Overeem, and it’s easy to see why. When he is paired up against anyone less than a top contender, Overeem fights as if he’s been beamed down from a distant planet (let’s call it, “Pectoria”) to remind us humans of how puny and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of it all. Even his nickname, “The Demolition Man”, is otherworldly in its awesomeness.

And while it’s true that Overeem has struggled against upper echelon competition throughout his career, it’s also true that there isn’t a fighter alive who crushes cans quite like he does (not that Rothwell is by any means a can). Ubereem is the foremost purveyor of squash matches, indeed, so let these eight videos serve as a testament to his greatness.

In Which The Uber Makes Gary Goodridge Cry Out in Agony

By the time Gary Goodridge got around to fighting Alistair Overeem, he was a 42-year-old (though oddly enough, introduced as 32) relic of his former self who was waist deep in the eight-fight losing streak that would end his MMA career. Overeem, on the other hand, had just obliterated Mirko Cro Cop‘s testicles at DREAM 6. To say that these men’s careers were heading in opposite directions would be a slight understatement.


(Simon says, “Die.” Photo via sescoopes)

If the bookies are to be believed, Alistair Overeem should tear through Ben Rothwell like tissue paper at Fight Night Mashantucket tomorrow. Currently listed as high as a 7 to 1 favorite over “Big” Ben, Overeem is already making some pretty bold claims about his next run at a title, which cannot possibly backfire a second time. Hell, Overeem might even throw Anthony Johnson a pity beatdown on his way to said title, just for kicks. He’s THAT confident.

Then again, confidence has never really been an issue for Overeem, and it’s easy to see why. When he is paired up against anyone less than a top contender, Overeem fights as if he’s been beamed down from a distant planet (let’s call it, “Pectoria”) to remind us humans of how puny and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of it all. Even his nickname, “The Demolition Man”, is otherworldly in its awesomeness.

And while it’s true that Overeem has struggled against upper echelon competition throughout his career, it’s also true that there isn’t a fighter alive who crushes cans quite like he does (not that Rothwell is by any means a can). Ubereem is the foremost purveyor of squash matches, indeed, so let these eight videos serve as a testament to his greatness.

In Which The Uber Makes Gary Goodridge Cry Out in Agony

By the time Gary Goodridge got around to fighting Alistair Overeem, he was a 42-year-old (though oddly enough, introduced as 32) relic of his former self who was waist deep in the eight-fight losing streak that would end his MMA career. Overeem, on the other hand, had just obliterated Mirko Cro Cop‘s testicles at DREAM 6. To say that these men’s careers were heading in opposite directions would be a slight understatement.

The age, speed, size, and everything else discrepancy was apparent from the very get-go, as Overeem followed up a few of his trademark vicious knees by just kind of gently guiding Goodridge to the ground to deliver a further beating. A series of brutal body shots followed, each sending shockwaves through the canvas with a sickening thud, and then, like a cat who had grown tired of its prey, Alistair mercifully finished off “Big Daddy” (phrasing) with an Americana.

Perhaps “mercifully” is the wrong word to use, as Goodridge was left crying out in pain like a man who had just received a botched vasectomy as it was happening. In any case, this fight was so insignificant that it is not even mentioned on either Overeem’s or Goodridge’s Wikipedia pages.

In Which The Uber Treats James Thompson Like a Child’s Play Thing

I may not speak the language, but I’d like to think that the announcers calling this fight were actively mocking it as it took place, hence their near constant bouts of uncontrollable laughter. The Japanese are unapologetically earnest when it comes to their love of freak show fights, and while Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg would be trying their hardest to sell us on James Thompson‘s underrated ground game or heavy hands, these two chose to treat the blasphemy of matchmaking that was Overeem vs. James Thompson like a nutshot compilation video on Youtube. Or maybe the Japanese language is just a series of pitched chuckles and guffaws. Researching it any further would only ruin the surprise.

In any case, Overeem’s fight with Thompson at DREAM 12 actually turned into a rather surprising affair, in that it somehow didn’t end in a 30-second KO victory for Alistair. It did, however, end in a 30-second submission win for Alistair after Thompson shot in on an ill-fated single leg takedown attempt. Uber broke less of a sweat finishing “The Colossus” than the announcers did laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole affair.

In Which a Pre “Uber” Uber Wipes the Floor With a Porn Star

Back in 2003, Alistair Overeem was but a frail beanpole of a man who could stand in the shadow of his future self. He was an Overeem who had yet to begin accumulating mass through totally natural means, but he was a dangerous Overeem nonetheless. Facing one-time UFC vet and future porn star Aaron Brink (a.k.a “Dick Delaware”) in his native Netherlands, Gauntereem looked every bit as dominant as his future Hulkish self would, scoring a quick takedown and locking up his patented guillotine choke in just under a minute.

The win would mark Overeem’s 10th straight and earn him a trip back to Japan, where he would knee Mike Bencic into submission at PRIDE 26. Brink would spend the rest of his days battling meth addiction while plowing premo trim in such films as Bossy MILFs 2, Gang Bang Virgins 2, Teens Take It Big 2, and Family Guy: The XXX Parody. So you tell me who’s led a more fulfilling life.

In Which The Uber Ends a Man’s Career Before It Ever Began

Poor Tae Hyun Lee. The sorry SOB never stood a chance.

Renaming ‘The Four Horsewomen’: Six Pro-Wrestling Stables That Better Describe the Group


(The Iconic Four Horsewomen: Ronda Rousey [not pictured], Three Other Chicks, and King Kong Bundy in a dress. Photo courtesy of TitoCouture.com)

By Seth Falvo

“If you’re gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job! Because there’s one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we’re the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue.”

– Arn Anderson, Horseman. August 5, 1996.

Those four sentences do more than anyone else could possibly hope to do in order to establish why “The Four Horsewomen” are anything but. On Saturday night, Horsewoman Shayna Baszler had the opportunity to get revenge on Bethe Correia, the fighter who outpointed Horsewoman Jessamyn Duke at UFC 172 and proceeded to downright ether the stable during her victory celebration. Not to ruin the outcome, but let’s just say that The Four Horsewomen now have to send four of Bethe’s friends to the morgue if they’re still trying to push that angle.

That the legendary Four Horsemen never feuded with nobodies like Hardbody Harrison — and sure as hell never jobbed to sub-.500 fighters — is completely besides the point. “The Four Horsewomen” have become such a tired joke that even mocking people who criticize how loosely they resemble The Four Horsemen on your social media accounts is completely worn out. Since we’re all in agreement that they need a new name, let’s look to some professional wrestling stables who The Four Horsewomen have resembled far more closely. Here are six that fit the description…

The Wyatt Family


A backwoods cult that’s gotten tremendously over with professional wrestling fans, despite accomplishing very little of note.
Why it works: Both factions are led by a compelling, charismatic eccentric.
Why it doesn’t: No offense to Bray Wyatt, but Ronda Rousey has accomplished far, far too much for this comparison to work.


(The Iconic Four Horsewomen: Ronda Rousey [not pictured], Three Other Chicks, and King Kong Bundy in a dress. Photo courtesy of TitoCouture.com)

By Seth Falvo

“If you’re gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job! Because there’s one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we’re the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue.”

  – Arn Anderson, Horseman. August 5, 1996.

Those four sentences do more than anyone else could possibly hope to do in order to establish why “The Four Horsewomen” are anything but. On Saturday night, Horsewoman Shayna Baszler had the opportunity to get revenge on Bethe Correia, the fighter who outpointed Horsewoman Jessamyn Duke at UFC 172 and proceeded to downright ether the stable during her victory celebration. Not to ruin the outcome, but let’s just say that The Four Horsewomen now have to send four of Bethe’s friends to the morgue if they’re still trying to push that angle.

That the legendary Four Horsemen never feuded with nobodies like Hardbody Harrison — and sure as hell never jobbed to sub-.500 fighters — is completely besides the point. “The Four Horsewomen” have become such a tired joke that even mocking people who criticize how loosely they resemble The Four Horsemen on your social media accounts is completely worn out. Since we’re all in agreement that they need a new name, let’s look to some professional wrestling stables who The Four Horsewomen have resembled far more closely. Here are six that fit the description…

The Wyatt Family


A backwoods cult that’s gotten tremendously over with professional wrestling fans, despite accomplishing very little of note.
Why it works: Both factions are led by a compelling, charismatic eccentric.
Why it doesn’t: No offense to Bray Wyatt, but Ronda Rousey has accomplished far, far too much for this comparison to work.

Raven’s Flock


In ECW, Raven’s Nest were a crucial part of major storylines. In WCW, Raven’s Flock could not have possibly been used more differently.

Why it works: “I don’t think there’s ever been a more over group that lost every single outing,” Raven recently said of his WCW Flock. You can say the same thing about how over The Four Horsewomen are with MMA fans — even if they think the Horseman comparison is a total farce.
Why it doesn’t: For the same reason it doesn’t work for The Wyatt Family. Ronda Rousey as Raven may sort-of work when comparing their personalities, but in terms of their accomplishments, it ain’t even close.

one Warrior nation


Much like MMA fans with “The Four Horsewomen,” professional wrestling fans are trying to pretend that one Warrior nation was never a thing that existed. Sorry for re-opening this wound, guys.
Why it works: Imagine Raven’s Flock, if it were led by an accomplished, ultra-charismatic, clearly insane grappler that fans either loved or hated.
Why it doesn’t: …except for the whole Halloween Havoc 1998 thing, when Hulk Hogan defeated The Warrior in one of the worst worked matches ever, but that’s another story for another day. As is that time Hulk Hogan saw The Warrior in his mirror…

The Latino World Order


A cheap, inferior knockoff of one of the greatest stables in professional wrestling history – why does that sound familiar?
Why it works: The L.W.O. was Eddie Guerrero and not much else.
Why it doesn’t:

Your argument is invalid.

The Kongtourage


See, because they were the entourage of a wrestler named “Awesome Kong.” I don’t care that you didn’t need the explanation.
Why it works: A dominant female champion, plus three random ladies who hung out with her. Sounds about right.
Why it doesn’t: Because what, are they supposed to call themselves the Rondarage? Egads, that’s unforgivable.

Pretty Mean Sisters


Consider this your daily reminder that The Attitude Era wasn’t nearly as awesome as you remember it being.
Why it works: Pretty Mean Sisters is regarded as one of the dumbest, most unnecessary stables in the history of professional wrestling. Plus it has the whole “all members were women” thing going for it.
Why it doesn’t: Because there really aren’t enough Al Bundy GIFs on the Internet to properly capture how ridiculous it would be for Ronda Rousey to describe her friends as “The Pretty Mean Sisters of MMA.”

So, what should it be? The Rousey World Order? Rousey’s Flock? Rousey and The J.O.B. Squad? Let us know in the comments section, or tweet your suggestions to @cagepotatomma.

25 Things You Can Do Between Fights on a UFC on FS 1 Broadcast


(26. Stare at this picture of Dana White for 45 minutes. / Photo via Getty)

The gap between fights on FS1 broadcasts is massive. We realized it was senseless to just watch all the commercials. Instead, let’s all be productive with our time. Here’s a list of several (but not all) things you can do during the huge amount of time in between fights.

1. Watch several fights from a previous UFC PPV on Fight Pass.

2. Go get ice cream or pizza.

3. Perform the recommended amount of daily exercise.

4. Read a chapter from the latest trendy YA novel.

5. Try to educate the heathens next to you at Buffalo Wild Wings about the finer points of MMA.

6. Do DDP Yoga.

7. Read a chapter from Matt Hughes‘ autobiography (don’t worry, it’s not exactly War and Peace).


(26. Stare at this picture of Dana White for 45 minutes. / Photo via Getty)

The gap between fights on FS1 broadcasts is massive. We realized it was senseless to just watch all the commercials. Instead, let’s all be productive with our time. Here’s a list of several (but not all) things you can do during the huge amount of time in between fights.

1. Watch several fights from a previous UFC PPV on Fight Pass.

2. Go get ice cream or pizza.

3. Perform the recommended amount of daily exercise.

4. Read a chapter from the latest trendy YA novel.

5. Try to educate the heathens next to you at Buffalo Wild Wings about the finer points of MMA.

6. Do DDP Yoga.

7. Read a chapter from Matt Hughes‘ autobiography (don’t worry, it’s not exactly War and Peace).

8. Calculate how much interest you’ll earn from your savings account this year.

9. Come up with a better tagline for the upcoming TUF than “Easy on the eyes, hard on the face.”

10. Try to explain the concept of _______ to the average MMA fan (there’s a lot of different ways to go with this one).

11. Try to explain “Alpha Male Shit” to a person with a functioning brain.

12. Illegally download the terrible action film they’re hawking on the broadcast that night, watch it in three-minute installments.

13. Or better yet, just watch Haywire again.

14. Play a game of Pitch, Rummy, Kings, etc.

15. Binge watch your favorite Netflix TV show.

16. Fix that leaky faucet your wife’s been complaining about since March.

17. Listen to YYZ in its entirety.

18. Make a souffle from scratch.

19. Step out for a cigarette or 12.

20. Listen to an episode of your favorite podcast (I recommend “How Did This Get Made?“).

21. Two words: Midnight. Golfing.

22. Take a shot every time a Nos, Harley Davidson, or Metro PCS commercial comes on.

23. Obtain a degree in quantum physics.

24. Go rent The Notebook or go to the movies. Dana White doesn’t care.

25. Write this article.

Five of the Greatest UFC Washouts Competing Today


(Photo via Getty)

Over the weekend, welterweight scrapper Josh Neer picked up his third straight win since being ousted from the UFC for a third time back in February of 2013 with a first round armbar over Travis Coyle, capturing the VFC (so close!) welterweight title in the process. It was a victory that may very well earn “The Dentist” yet another chance in the octagon, where he may very well washout yet again in four or so fights.

With all due respect, that’s just the level of fighter Neer seems to be; a perpetual gamer with good enough skills to destroy anyone on the local circuit while never quite being able to establish himself in the big leagues — which is saying something for a guy who holds victories over the likes of Melvin Guillard, Duane Ludwig, and Mac Danzig. But while Neer may never be a title holder in the UFC or even a contender, it would be hard to deny that he’s one of the most dangerous guys competing outside of it today.

Here are five more of those guys, listed in no particular order.

Josh Burkman 

A staple of the UFC’s welterweight division during the late aughts, Josh “The People’s Warrior” Burkman has had the most unexpected non TRT-induced career resurgence this side of Mark Hunt. After receiving his walking papers following a unanimous decision loss to Pete Sell at UFC 90 (with a 5-6 record overall), Burman all but vanished from the public eye. The reason behind his disappearance was similar to that of countless MMA veterans before him: Injury.


(Photo via Getty)

Over the weekend, welterweight scrapper Josh Neer picked up his third straight win since being ousted from the UFC for a third time back in February of 2013 with a first round armbar over Travis Coyle, capturing the VFC (so close!) welterweight title in the process. It was a victory that may very well earn “The Dentist” yet another chance in the octagon, where he may very well washout yet again in four or so fights.

With all due respect, that’s just the level of fighter Neer seems to be; a perpetual gamer with good enough skills to destroy anyone on the local circuit while never quite being able to establish himself in the big leagues — which is saying something for a guy who holds victories over the likes of Melvin Guillard, Duane Ludwig, and Mac Danzig. But while Neer may never be a title holder in the UFC or even a contender, it would be hard to deny that he’s one of the most dangerous guys competing outside of it today.

Here are five more of those guys, listed in no particular order.

Josh Burkman 

A staple of the UFC’s welterweight division during the late aughts, Josh “The People’s Warrior” Burkman has had the most unexpected non TRT-induced career resurgence this side of Mark Hunt. After receiving his walking papers following a unanimous decision loss to Pete Sell at UFC 90 (with a 5-6 record overall), Burman all but vanished from the public eye. The reason behind his disappearance was similar to that of countless MMA veterans before him: Injury.

Burkman spent the next year and a half recovering from back surgery, but when he reemerged, he did so as a completely changed fighter. A 5-1 win streak across various promotions would follow before Burkman would sign with the WSOF, where he would score upset wins over fellow UFC alums Gerald Harris, Aaron Simpson, and most impressively, Jon Fitch. Although Burkman’s meteoric rise would be halted in his WSOF title fight against Steve Carl, “The People’s Warrior” would bounce back from defeat with yet another brutal stoppage of Tyler Stinson at WSOF 9. And you better believe it was a walkoff KO.

David Branch

Speaking of the WSOF, David Branch has built up quite a little streak of his own in the Ray Sefo-led promotion, notching back-to-back-to-back wins over Dustin Jacoby, whatever remains of Paulo Filho, and Daniel Villefort before capturing the middleweight title via a first round submission of Jesse Taylor (who himself has seen a good deal of success outside the UFC) at WSOF 10.

Branch’s last fight in the UFC saw him fall victim to the nightmare scenario that is a Paul Harris kneebar, yet somehow, he was not admitted to a psychiatric facility shortly thereafter and in fact has compiled a 6-1 record in the time since, with the lone blemish coming by way of decision to hulking light heavyweight Anthony Johnson. Not bad for one of the most infamous KO victims in UFC History.

Rampage Jackson

We may rip on Rampage every now and again for being an annoying loudmouth with ever-deteriorating skills, but when it comes right down to it, the former UFC light heavyweight champion still has a lot of fight left in him. Now competing under the Bellator banner, Page has scored three straight victories for the first time since entering the UFC back in 2007 (a comparison we’re sure he’d appreciate), including a first round TKO of current/inexplicable title challenger Joey Beltran and a controversial decision over King Mo at Bellator 120: Dicks Be Ridden.

And while it’s almost certain that we’ll never see the 36-year-old back in the Octagon before he hangs ‘em up, we may very well see him rise to the respectable position of Bellator light heavyweight champion once Emanuel Newton sacrifices Joey Beltran to the MMA Gods. Have I mentioned how confused I am by that fight?

Ben Saunders

(Finish comes around the 6 minute mark.)

Although he may technically be considered a Bellator washout these days (which really doesn’t help prove our case), Ben Saunders has done a lot to separate himself from countless TUF washouts before him. He went 4-3 in the UFC following his stint on The Ultimate Fighter 6, picking up brutal stoppages of Brandon Wolff and Marcus Davis in the process, and has advanced to two Bellator welterweight tournament finals (and a third semifinal) via scorching knockouts of Raul Amaya and Brian Warren. He also likes to think that he helped get noted dog-killer Bjorn Rebney removed from his throne over at Bellator, which doesn’t exactly lower his stock in our book either.

“Killa B” was originally scheduled to face Matt Riddle at Titan FC 29 for the promotion’s welterweight title later this month, however, with Riddle once again forced out of a fight do to injury, Saunders will now face Vale Tudo legend Jose Landi-Jons. Should be a hell of a scrap.

Paul Daley

(I am being told that this is not one of Daley’s recent highlights, but is in fact the lowest lowlight of his entire career. I apologize for the mistake.)

Paul Daley’s decision to cheap shot Josh Koscheck following their fight at UFC 113 has been discussed to the point of nausea (or as Tito Ortiz might put it, “ad museum”). Daley’s apologized for it, repented for it, and probably made a donation to The Human Fund in Koscheck’s name in a last ditch effort to get Karma back on his side. The unfortunate incident is mentioned in every article even tangentially related to him despite happening some four years (and a half dozen or so brutal KO’s) ago, and he’ll arguably never live it down, not even if he cures cancer while saving a baby from a building burning.

But to act as if the cheap shot never happened would be to revise the history of MMA to suit our needs, and we’ll be damned if that’s going to happen under our watch. So let’s talk about it some more.

Honestly, I’m of two minds about Daley’s decision. On one hand, Koscheck is a bit of a turd, and turds sometimes require an uncouth method of expulsion, lest they stick around too long and stink things up for everybody. On the other hand, striking an opponent after the bell is perhaps the most cowardly, punk-ass move in the book, and allowing Daley to return to the octagon would be all but rewarding his despicable behavior.

But on the third hand, at least Daley was professional enough to do his fighting in the ring. I mean, did you even read the UFC’s apology for the Jones-Cormier brawl? What a crock of shit that thing was. I’m glad they decided to post an official video of said brawl to their Youtube page though, to show us how super serial they are about this kind of behavior infecting their otherwise polished organization.

Jason High shoves a ref, gets booted before White can even watch the tape. Daley throws a punch after the bell, gets a lifetime ban. Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier give a PR rep a heart attack, tackle Chuck Zito, and hit some poor lady with a shoe while brawling at a media day, receive all the monies. WHERE IS MATT HUGHES WHEN WE NEED HIM.

Oh right, Daley’s record. Since exiting the UFC, “Semtex” has gone 11-4 and 5-2 in the past two years across various organizations, with 7 of those wins coming via uber-violent knockout. A clean bill of (legal) health finally obtained, Daley re-signed with Bellator in July and will likely continue breaking jaws with tremendous aplomb for the foreseeable future.

Anyone you think we missed? 

–J. Jones

The 21 Best Accessories in MMA History


(Alistair Overeem wielding Mjolnir / Photo via Getty)

Sometimes fans need more to remember a fighter by than just a performance or a gimmick. They need an accessory to associate that fighter with–and the very best fighters understand this and know how to accessorize.

We brainstormed at Castle CagePotato as to what accessory was the greatest of all time. After several thought-sessions ended in magic ice cream binges and Martin Luther cosplay sessions, we decided to just list off all the best ones rather than just decide which one among them was the best:

1. Fedor Emelianenko’s sweater.

2. Donald Cerrone‘s cowboy hat.

3. Khabib Nurmagomedov‘s Dagestani hat.

4. David Rickels’ caveman club and dinosaur.

Get the rest after the jump!


(Alistair Overeem wielding Mjolnir / Photo via Getty)

By the CagePotato Staff

Sometimes fans need more to remember a fighter by than just a performance or a gimmick. They need an accessory to associate that fighter with–and the very best fighters understand this and know how to accessorize.

We brainstormed at Castle CagePotato as to what accessory was the greatest of all time. After several thought-sessions ended in magic ice cream binges and Martin Luther cosplay sessions, we decided to just list off all the best ones rather than just decide which one among them was the best:

1. Fedor Emelianenko’s sweater.

2. Donald Cerrone‘s cowboy hat.

3. Khabib Nurmagomedov‘s Dagestani hat.

4. David Rickels’ caveman club and dinosaur.

5. Rampage Jackson’s chain.

6. Alistair Overeem‘s old sledgehammer.

7. Kimo Leopoldo’s cross.

8. Fedor’s humble, wooden crucifix necklace.

9. Andrei Arlovski‘s fang mouthpiece.

10. Miesha Tate‘s Brian Caraway.

11. Kimbo Slice’s real gold version of a dollar store novelty boxing glove chain.

12. Tim Sylvia’s backwards Warrior Wear hat he wears in every other picture.

13. King Mo’s crown.

14. King Mo’s umbrella.

15. King Mo’s harem.

16. Mirko Cro Cop’s flag shorts.

17. Shinya Aoki’s tights.

18. Dan Hardy’s bandanna.

19. Marcus Brimage’s Dragon Ball Z scouter.

20. Rich Franklin’s brown and pink obsession.

21. Ronda Rousey‘s personal assistant (his name is Dana White or something).