Anyone who knows anything about UFCs and MMAs knows that the best fights are never found on the hoity-toity main card or even the highfalutin FX undercard on a channel that takes two of your friends a TV guide and Encarta ’97 to find. No, it’s a well known fact amongst us MMA media types that the best fights *always* go down during the Facebook preliminaries. “That’s where the real action is,” Ariel Helwani once told me, Danga, while pointing to the champagne room of a Tijuana strip club called La Mula Triste, but I think his words of wisdom can be applied to FB prelims as well.
Anyways, I just took a popper and feel like drunkblogging my way through the Fight for the Troops 3: Kennedy vs. Natal because there’s fuck all to write about besides. In my apartment I have: A bottle of Beam, a 12-pack of Lagunitas IPA, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, and a nip of Svedka, so lets do this!
(Just a typical 5 p.m. in the life of Danga.)
Anyone who knows anything about UFCs and MMAs knows that the best fights are never found on the hoity-toity main card or even the highfalutin FX undercard on a channel that takes two of your friends a TV guide and Encarta ’97 to find. No, it’s a well known fact amongst us MMA media types that the best fights *always* go down during the Facebook preliminaries. “That’s where the real action is,” Ariel Helwani once told me, Danga, while pointing to the champagne room of a Tijuana strip club called La Mula Triste, but I think his words of wisdom can be applied to FB prelims as well.
Anyways, I just took a popper and feel like drunkblogging my way through the Fight for the Troops 3: Kennedy vs. Natal because there’s fuck all to write about besides. In my apartment I have: A bottle of Beam, a 12-pack of Lagunitas IPA, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, and a nip of Svedka, so lets do this!
Derek Brunson vs. Brian Houston
Round 1: Fight for the Troops cards are notoriously violent so let’s see how this goes-HOLY SHIT! Brunson nails Houston with a picture perfect roundhouse to the dome and follows him to the mat where, after a little struggle, he finishes Houston off with a rear-naked choke.
Brunson def. Houston via rear-naked choke 0:48 of round 1.
And the bottle of Beam is open.
Jesus, that was so fast I wasn’t even able to explain the rules of the drinking game I will be playing for these prelims. They are as follows:
Additionally, I will take a swig for each Goldberganism, each Rogan freak out and each time the name “Yancy” is spoken. Yancy.
Neil Magny vs. Seth Baczynski
Round 1: Baczynski with a pair of leg kicks and a nice right to start. Fuck that name, I’m calling him Bski. Bski pushes Magny into the fence. Big John McCarthy separates the two after a minute and Bski fires off an overhand right that lands. Magny clinches and they battle for position before BJ separates them again. Bski snags a double and slams Magny to the mat but gets hit with a good shot from the bottom. Bski to half guard then full mount, landing a few body shots before the bell ends. 10-9 Bski.
Round 2: Man, this crowd is fired up. They’re treating every landed punch like an ultimate diss in a Yo Momma episode. Remember that show? God it was terrible. Anyways, the first minute and a half of this one is all clinch before Big John separates them. Bski lands another nice right hand and tries for a takedown but is reversed and were back to a clinch battle. Magny with a right. Bski dives for another takedown but appears to be fading. Big John calls for a time as Magny’s glove tap is loose. Bski gets his takedown on the restart. After landing a couple elbows, Bski moves to half guard and lands some elbows as the rounds ends. 10-9 Bski
The soldiers are literally counting down the final five seconds of each round in unison. SHould a fight end via spinning heel kick, I’m quite certain the roof will ‘splode. Anyways, I just ripped another popper because fuck you.
Round 3: Magny lands a right and the two clinch up. Knees to the midsection from Bski. They break briefly and Bski goes for another takedown. He gets Magny down for a second before he is reversed. Magny with some nice knees now. Big John breaks ‘em up and Bski with another nice takedown. Joe Rogan is really impressed with Magny’s hand strength, so I’ll call it a half freak out and take a swig of some wine. The two get back to their feet and Magny lands a big takedown but Bski pops back up. Magny unloading with some nice shots and snags another takedown. Bski gets to his feet and the two swing to the finish. 10-9 Magny
Seth Baczynski def. Neil Magny via unanimous decision (29-28 x3)
Yves Edwards vs. Yancy Medeiros
Oh boy, they’ve already said Yancy twice. This fight is going to be rough on my liver. Three times. CURSE YOU YANCY!!!!
Yves Edwards’ walkout music sounds like Shaggy is being rectally force fed a steel drum.
Round 1: Yancy comes out aggro for a guy named Yancy, trading low/body kicks with Edwards. Left hook Yancy. Body kick Yves. Edwards with a nice left hook. Yancy is throwing front kicks and Yves is answering with right hooks. Yancy tells Edwards to bring it and Edwards does with a few more rights. Out of nowhere, Yancy clips Yves with an uppercut and pounds him out for the victory. Son of a bitch, Yancy.
Yancy Medeiros def. Yves Edwards via KO at 2:47 of round 1
Well, there goes the nip of Svedka. Ditto for Yves’ UFC career, one would assume, as that’s three straight for the longtime vet. At this time, I’d like to personally thank Yves for a ridiculously entertaining caree-APACHE HELICOPTER SHOT. Drink drink!
Chris Camozzi vs. Lorenz Larkin
Chris Camozzi looks like a guy who knows where that good crystal is at, know what I’m saying? Larkin, on the other hand, is coming out to James Brown’s “Living in America” which makes me think that he is going to get beat to death in this fight. THROW IN THE TOWEL, ROCK!
Round 1: Herb Dean is our ref, which reminds me that I need to re-up with my weed guy. Inside leg kick Camozzi. The two trade front kicks, then oblique kicks like a couple ‘a pussies. Counter left from a retreating Larking, then a straight right that drops him! Camozzi recovers and is back up and lands a leg kick. Front kick to the body by Larkin. Inside leg kick Camozzi, who is getting off first. Flying knee Camozzi and a left hook. I’m not scoring this because I stopped paying attention to pack a binger halfway through this.
Round 2: Camozzi with some more leg kicks. Larkin appears to be aiming for Camozzi’s gloves like he is hitting mits. Nice straight right by Larkin that jacks back the head of Camozzi. Camozzi tries another flying knee and they clinch. Larkin with a weak leg kick on the break. Camozzi’s nose is bloodied up but they trade leg kicks. Nice left by Camozzi. Larkin cuts Camozzi with a left and they clinch again. A couple nice standing elbows from Larkin have really busted up Camozzi, who simply will not stop coming forward. Probably on account of the meth. 10-9 Larkin
Round 3: The two trade body kicks to start the round. Larkin with a nice jab and the two trade leg kicks. Huge right hand by Larkin, who is just the quicker man. Camozzi whifs a head kick. Camozzi is visibly worn down but refuses to quit. Some brutal elbows and rights from Larkin in the clinch. Camozzi has Larkin pinned against the fence and Larkin lands some more elbows. My God this crowd is awesome, and Camozzi cheers them on while getting beat up in the clinch. I’ll have what he’s having, amiright? *crickets* Larkin lands some spinning shit to close things out and that’s all she wrote. 10-9 Larkin
Lorenz Larkin def. Chris Camozzi via unanimous decision (30-27 x2 29-28)
Well, that’s it for me, Nation. I’m going to go take a piss off the balcony and yell at stray cats. Enjoy your fancy FS1 fights you bunch ‘a bitches.
(An elusive striker who throws punches like they cost him money vs. a former All-American wrestler. Yeah, baby. This is the matchup the Brits have been *begging* for. / Photo via Getty)
Handling the play-by-play for us today will be George Shunick, who will be stacking results from the FOX Sports 2 main card broadcast after the jump beginning at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and fire off your own observational witticisms in the comments section.
(An elusive striker who throws punches like they cost him money vs. a former All-American wrestler. Yeah, baby. This is the matchup the Brits have been *begging* for. / Photo via Getty)
Handling the play-by-play for us today will be George Shunick, who will be stacking results from the FOX Sports 2 main card broadcast after the jump beginning at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and fire off your own observational witticisms in the comments section.
Preliminary Card Results
– Al Iaquinta def. Piotr Hallmann via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
– Luke Barnatt def. Andrew Craig via submission (rear-naked choke), 2:12 of round 2
– Jessica Andrade def. Rosi Sexton via unanimous decision (30-26 x 2, 30-27)
– Cole Miller def. Andy Ogle via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Jimy Hettes def. Robert Whiteford via technical submission (triangle choke), 2:17 of round 2
– Brad Scott def. Michael Kuiper via submission (front choke), 4:17 of round 1
Welcome Potato Nation, to this Saturday presentation of the prestigious UFC liveblog. I know plenty of you are probably surfing between watching the fights and college football – not that any of you went to college, you degenerates – so this should keep you up-to-date on today’s happenings while you attempt to filter the sheer amount of sanctioned violence you will bear witness to. The main event today will be Lyoto Machida making his debut in the middleweight division against wrestler and power striker Mark Muñoz. I’m taking Machida, but don’t discount Muñoz’ knockout power or the judges’ ability to utterly fail to understand the most basic precepts of MMA. With that said, on to the fights!
Phil Harris vs. John Lineker
Like Lineker here; dude packs serious power and manages to be an exceptionally exciting fighter in an exciting division to begin with. Harris will be a test, but one he should pass.
Round 1
Harris misses an overhand. Lineker lands a low kick that spins Harris around. Overhand from Harris grazes Lineker. Low kick from Lineker spins Harris around again. Another lands. Harris’ leg is already reddened. Harris lands a 1-2 combo. Another right from Harris. Linker drops him with a right, but it’s as much a slip as the power. Body shot from Lineker. Left hook rocks Harris! He’s wobbly but fires back. Right hand drops Harris. Harris stands but he’s wobbly and eating shots. Body shots followed by a left hook to the head. Harris is in big trouble. Left hook the liver drops Harris, Lineker swarms and it’s all over. Beautiful liver shot from Lineker ends the fight. John Lineker def. Phil Harris via TKO, 2:51 of round 1.
Replay shows the punch landed on Harris’ solar plexus. As Rogan notes, Lineker didn’t make weight for the fight; still, it’s an impressive win. Lineker is still relatively raw and isn’t remotely ready to hang with John Dodson or Demetrious Johnson, but it will be interesting to see him develop over the next year or two.
Alessio Sakara vs. Nicholas Musoke
Musoke is from Sweden. Sakara is from Italy. Ummmm… that’s the extent of my analysis here.
Round 1
Musoke moving forward, but Sakara hurts him and tosses him to the ground. Sakara lands a left inside Musoke’s guard. Sakara gets caught! Musoke lands knees from the clinch! Both men are swinging in the middle of the octagon now! Musoke clinches against the fence and takes Sakara down. Sakara went for a triangle, but Musoke uses this to pass to half-guard. Now side control. Knee to the body from Musoke. Sakara regains half-guard. Sakara explodes from the bottom and starts throwing bombs from the top! Now in Musoke’s guard. WHOA! Musoke with an armbar out of nowhere wins it for the Swede! Nicholas Musoke def. Alessio Sakara via verbal submission (armbar), 3:07 of round 1.
If you blinked, you missed that armbar. Damn. Excellent debut for Musoke. Gustafsson, in the crowd, applauds his countryman’s accomplishments. In the polite, reserved Swedish manner, of course.
Norman Parke vs. Jon Tuck
Norman Parke is a TUF Smashes winner. Jon Tuck is a former competitor on TUF Live. In other words, none of you know who either fighter is.
Round 1
Jon Tuck’s nickname is “The Super Saiyan.” Well I know who I’m rooting for. Tuck opens with a headkick. He lands a low kick. Body kick from Tuck. Parke answers with one of his own. Right lands from Tuck. Parke lands a low kick. High kick from Tuck blocked. Nice left hand from Parke. Tuck unloads with three straight rights. They exchange crosses. Parke wiffs on a 1-2. Parke says he got poked but Tuck goes after him anyway; the ref doesn’t intervene. Rogan claims there was no eye poke according to replays. Both exchange crosses again; Tuck’s right against Parke’s left. Teep from Tuck. Low kick Tuck. Tuck barely misses a high kick. Parke lands a nice counter left. Right to the body from Tuck. Parke goes for a takedown at the end of the round and gets it just as time expires. Close round. 10-10.
Round 2
Left to the body from Parke, who’s gaining the momentum. Now he works the jab.Tuck is slowing down but lands a nice body kick. Parke lands a counter left, the a shot to the body. Nice right from Tuck. Uppercut from Parke. Right hook, left cross from Parke. Parke is putting the pressure on now. He’s beginning to land more and more. Left to the body followed by a kick from Parke. Uppercut Parke. Three punch combo for Parke. Nice body shot from Tuck, but immediately countered with a cross. Another cross lands for Parke. Parke isn’t letting Tuck breathe. He’s continuing to land combinations at will. Tuck is tired, and it’s really showing right now. He tries for a flying knee, but it’s blocked. Uppercut-cross combo from Parke. Tuck misses a superman punch off the cage. Parke lands another left. Round ends, 10-9 Parke.
Round 3
jab lands from Parke. Parke misses a capoeira kick. Body shot from Parke. Tuck needs to get the fight to the ground, but he’s not making any effort to do so. They exchange in the center of the ring, smiling at each other. Tuck’s mouthpiece is knocked out, and he’s hit with a barrage as he picks it up and pops it back in his mouth. now he’s getting tagged repeatedly by Parke. Tuck is simply exhausted. Tuck lands a body shot and a knee from the clinch. Parke with a big combo, though. Uppercut from Parke. Then an overhand. Park with a body kick. Tuck is on fumes as the last minute approaches. Left over the top from Parke. 3 punch combo lands from Parke. Two big overhands from Park. They’re exchanging until the end of the round, with Parke almost landing that capoeira kick. He should win this fight handily though.
Norman Parke def. Jon Tuck via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-27). Tuck should’ve eaten a senzu bean between rounds. That’s just poor planning on his part.
Jimi Manuwa vs. Ryan Jimmo
On one hand, Jimi Manuwa is a terrifying striker. On the other, he’s got a terrible ground game. He last beat Cyrille Diabate when the latter injured his calf. In other words, I’m not sold on the hype. Jimmo by submission or decision.
Round 1
Jimmo comes forward. Manuwa lands a left. Jimmo with a low kick. He reutns with a kick that Manuwa catches. Jimmo uses this to initiate a clinch and bring the fight to the fence. Manuwa lands a knee. Jimmo focusing on positioning. The ref separates them, and Manuwa lands two knees and pushes Jimmo into the fence. Jimmo lands a knee to the face, but it lacks the impact of Manuwa’s. Manuwa landing knees to the thighs of Jimmo. Jimmo winces and turns them around against the cage. Manuwa switches now, but the ref separates them. Jimmo’s in obvious pain, and Manuwa accentuates his point with a low kick. Body kick from Jimmo. Low kick from Manuwa. Hook kick almost lands from Manuwa. Jimmo answers a low kick with a body kick. Manuwa seems like he’s beginning to slow.Jimmo has more energy, but he’s currently refusing to engage. Manuwa tries to chase him down. Jimmo lands a counter right on a hard kick from Manuwa. 10-9 Manuwa.
Round 2
Manuwa rushes in and lands a right, only to get turned around and put against the cage. Jimmo can’t land anything from this position, though. Nice knee to the face, though. The ref breaks them. BIG body kick from Manuwa. Jimmo lands a low kick. High kicked from Manuwa blocked, but vicious low kick lands. Another lands. Manuwa rushes Jimmo into the fence, and begins to land short knees until he’s quickly reversed. Still, Jimmo can’t manage to do much with this position. Jimmo is hit with a low blow, and the fight is briefly stopped. Low kick from Manuwa. Jimmo almost lands a takedown, but they’re back against the fence, neither man doing anything. They’re separated again. Manuwa pushes Jimmo into the fence. They separate and Manuwa lands a big knee! Suddenly Jimmo goes down; it doesn’t appear to have been caused by the knee. The fight is over. The Curse of Manuwa strikes again. Jimi Manuwa def. Ryan Jimmo via TKO (injury), 4:41 of round 2.
Rogan asks Manuwa what sorcerer he trained with prior to this fight. Or he would if he was a responsible broadcaster! Alas, we will never know what dark magics played a role in his triumph. In the meantime, we get a shot of Michael Bisping firing up the crowd with something other than vitriol. Only in Britain.
Ross Pearson vs. Melvin Guillard
This fight isn’t as one-sided as some of you might think. Yes, Guillard has the speed and power, but on the other hand… he’s Melvin Guillard. He can be dominating the fight, but the instant something goes wrong he loses. His misfortunes metastasize as a single slipping rock may set off an avalanche. Should he win? Yes. Will he? I’m not so sure.
Round 1
They touch gloves. Guillard moving on the outside. Pearson with an inside leg kick. Guillard lands a left. Kick checked by Pearson. Inside kick from Pearson. Guillard misses an uppercut. Guillard lands a right to Pearson’s temple. And another. Guillard is loose now. Pearson still pushing forward. Knee from the clinch by Guillard. Flying knee from Pearson, who lands on the canvas! As he tries to return to his feet, Guillard knees him in the temple. The fight is stopped; the first knee is barely legal. However, the second knee is technically illegal — Pearson’s hand was on the ground. All in all, an unsatisfying conclusion to this business.
The fight is declared a no-contest due to an accidental illegal knee (1:57 of round 1). The audio keeps cutting out, presumably due to audience profanity, as Rogan tries to interview Pearson. Pearson has a nasty cut on his forehead; even if the fight wasn’t stopped for an illegal blow, it wouldn’t have lasted much longer. That cut would’ve been a fight-ender.
Lyoto Machida vs. Mark Muñoz
Machida’s movement, striking and takedown defense should prove too much here. Most people forget that Muñoz’ takedowns aren’t that exceptional; he was an accomplished collegiate wrestler largely on the strength of his scrambling and positional abilities. However, should Muñoz succeed in taking Machida down, he’s more than capable of finishing him. His ground and pound is extraordinarily powerful, and possesses more power from the guard than anyone since Fedor. But I suspect it won’t factor into this fight. Machida via decision.
Round 1
They touch gloves. Lots of distance between the two fighters so far. Machida looking for oblique kicks. Machida showing some weird movement right now. Over a minute in, no strikes landed. Muñoz misses a kick. Then he misses a takedown. Body kick from Machida lands! That’s our first strike, two minutes in. Hard body kick from Machida. Low kick Machida. HEAD KICK KNOCKOUT FOR MACHIDA! WOW! Fight’s over, ladies and gentlemen. Lyoto Machida def. Mark Munoz via KO, 3:10 of round 1.
So, Machida just won KO of the Night with that. He leaped on Muñoz when he fell, but restrained himself from following through, seeing Muñoz was out. Then they embraced when Muñoz came to. Lyoto Machida is that dude who will take you out and give you a hug after. Like a hyper-violent teddy bear. Nothing special in the post-fight interview. That’s all for today, heathens!
(It’s a classic battle of “BROWN PRIDE” vs. “KIND OF SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY RECEDING HAIRLINE” / Photo via CombatLifestyle.com. Check out more UFC 166 weigh-in photos here.)
Handling play-by-play for the “Velasquez vs. Dos Santos 3” PPV broadcast is our buddy Anthony Gannon, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and say whatever you feel like saying in our lawless cesspool of a comments section. Thanks for being here.
(It’s a classic battle of “BROWN PRIDE” vs. “KIND OF SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY RECEDING HAIRLINE” / Photo via CombatLifestyle.com. Check out more UFC 166 weigh-in photos here.)
Handling play-by-play for the “Velasquez vs. Dos Santos 3″ PPV broadcast is our buddy Anthony Gannon, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and say whatever you feel like saying in our lawless cesspool of a comments section. Thanks for being here.
UFC 166 preliminary card results:
FOX Sports 1 Prelims
Tim Boetsch def. C.B. Dollaway via split decision (30-26, 27-29, 30-26).
Hector Lombard def. Nate Marquardt via KO, 1:48 round 1.
Jessica Eye def. Sarah Kaufman via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28).
K.J. Noons def. George Sotiropoulos via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-27).
Facebook Prelims
Adlan Amagov def. T.J. Waldburger via KO, 3:00 round 1.
Tony Ferguson def. Mike Rio via submission (d’arce choke), 1:52 round 1.
Andre Fili def. Jeremy Larsen via TKO, 0:53 round 2.
Kyogi Horiguchi def. Dustin Pague via TKO, 3:51 round 2.
Sup, bitches. It’s about that time again. For those of you too cheap or too furloughed to buy this event, we’re here, Potato Nation. For you. Because we give a shit. Hell, there’s a party going on up in my crib, free-loading sons-a-bitches are eating up all my food, drinking up all my booze, feeling up my filthy whore of a girlfriend, and I’m hiding in the cellar like a rat, just for you.
The heavyweights are showcased tonight and that’s a good thing, because both Cain Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos stoke about as much pre-fight excitement as the nasty lip cancer does for the prospect of hooking up with the chick you met standing outside the methadone clinic. They don’t need to sell this bitch though. The heavyweight championship sells itself.
In the first outing, JDS knocked Cain’s ass out in about a minute. In the second, Cain laid a 25 minute, systematic ass-whoopin’ on JDS that was universally condemned at the Geneva Convention. We could argue the merits of each guy’s win until our nuts explode. The bottom line is that Cain is the rightful favorite here for good reason: he got knocked out – big guys, little gloves, that shit happens. But he dominated every second of the rematch. The dude is just a friggin’ winner. And he’s not a winner cause he wants to be. He’s a winner cause he’s got strength and speed, and because back in high school he taped Larry Lester’s buns together. Bet ya didn’t know that.
We open as usual, with Rogan and Goldberg breaking down the event, and Goldy’s bottom teeth are whiter than Sarah Kaufman’s legs.
Getting things started is Jon Dodson vs. Darrell Montague
Ok, let’s just talk real quick about how dicked up it is to throw a guy to a Top 3 flyweight in his UFC debut. That’s the boat Darrell Montague finds himself in. Sure, at 13-2 he’s a highly touted prospect, but damn man, how about a tune up fight or some such shit. And I’d be remiss if I failed to mention that the great majority of his wins came against dudes with no Wikipedia pages. Mock that barometer at your peril, bitch. Although in fairness, Montague was both the Gladiator Challenge and TPF flyweight champion, so there’s that. And dammit, if Ben Rothwell can still claim validation for being the IFL champ then it’s only fair that Montague get some street cred for meaningless titles as well.
Dodson is making his return after getting outworked by Demetrious Johnson in his quest for the title, although he did perform quite well until the tank ran low. He’s a rare commodity at 125 – a guy with some nasty punching power. But for Christ’s sake, he needs a new nickname. “The Magician” is downright silly. Or, and here’s a novel concept, how about no nickname? It passes understanding how guys don’t grasp the fact that no nickname is far better than a stupid one. Matt Hughes didn’t have a nickname, and aside from being an insufferable prick, he’s one of the all-time greats.
Darrell is “The Mongoose.” Ugh. Uuuuggggghhhhhhh!
Round 1: Dodson starts with a big overhand that misses. Montague with an inside leg kick. Oof, Dodson just landed a big left. Montague jabbing, not really landing any of them, but sticks a leg kick. Dodson answers with one of his own. Dodson lands a nice right. Dodson punches Montague’s thigh. The Houston fans are getting restless with the quickness. Dodson drops Montague with a left, then descends on him. Montague hanging onto a leg for dear life, manages to survive. And he gets rocked again. Dodson goes hard to the body. Montague looks shaky. Body, then head, Dodson continues to land shots at will. Another one to the body. Montague has a very solid chin and seems to be recovered. Jesus, Dodson drops him again, and gets the KO. That was a vicious beating.
Jon Dodson does a few celebratory flips, then starts laughing for no apparent reason. God this dude is weird.
It’s official, at 4:13 of round 1 Jon Dodson gets the KO.
Gabe Gonzaga and Shawn Jordan are up next.
Gonzaga was looking mean and focused at the weigh-ins, although the hair on his back has reached a point of unruliness rivaled only by Ron Jeremy’s pubic region. Gabe, dog, that’s a problem with a cheap, highly efficient solution. Clippers, baby, clippers. They’re about $15 at Walgreens.
Jordan has quietly amassed a 3-1 resume in the Octagon, with all wins coming via violent stoppage. His last fight, an awesome knockout over Pat Barry in just under a minute, earned him Knockout of the Night honors. Gonzaga may not carry the rep he did back when he damn near decapitated CroCop, but it’s still a nice notch to have in your headboard. Let’s see if Jordan can make Gonzaga that notch, horrifying as that mental image is.
Damn, Gonzaga comes out to “Mother” by Danzig. Respect.
Round 1: Gonzaga opens up with a leg kick, lands a decent straight right. Jordan, jabs, Gonzaga goes to the body. Hard inside leg kick by Gonzaga. Jordan with a left. Charges in and Gonzaga drops him, jumps on him with some hammer fists, and ends it.
The official decision is in, and it’s a TKO at 1:33 of round 1.
Next up is Diego Sanchez vs. Gilbert Melendez
In Gil’s last outing the only thing that prevented him from getting the belt was that he basically stopped fighting in the final round. Maybe he was tired, or maybe he bought into the bizarre cornering philosophy of the Cesar Gracie camp, which dictates they tell their guy he absolutely won every single round even when the rounds are razor thin. Then when the decision comes back against them, all they have to do is call shenanigans and in some alternate universe they declare total victory. After all, there is a well known judging conspiracy when it comes to the Diaz brothers and anyone who associates with them.
Diego seems to be one of those guys stuck in-between weight classes, spending the last four years bouncing from welterweight to lightweight, then back again, to both. Now 1-0 since returning to 155 – a tepid win again Takanori Gomi where Diego missed weight by three pounds – “The Dream” has a wonderful opportunity to catapult himself into the conversation against Top 3 lightweight, Gilbert Melendez. Only problem: Diego is probably going to be outclassed in every single area of the fight – except, perhaps, in heart and the ability to endure a savage beating and keep coming like a Zen Terminator. After squandering his past earnings on hookers and booze, as well as shitty friends, Diego is looking to get back on track here. The question is: Has the top level of the sport passed him by?
Diego busts out a cartwheel and then does his now famous “YUS!” routine.
Round 1: Diego charges out like an animal. Gil starts off with a leg kick. Gil missed a head kick, Diego takes his down. Gil is up, but Diego is on his back. Gil gets Diego off, then goes hard to the body. Nice start. Gil goes to the body again. Diego with a leg kick, east a punch to the chops for it. Diego misses a hook. Then misses a head kick. Diego shoots, Gil stuffs. Gil lands a nice shot to the face. Diego shoots again, stuffed. Diego charges in, gets punched in the face. Diego lands a jab, Gil responds with a big right. Body kick is caught by Gil, goes for a takedown, cannot get it. Gil with another good right. Diego with a hook, misses by a mile. Diego is cut above his left eye. Shoots again, Gil defends it. Gil lands a jab, then sticks a body shot. Diego lands a nice kick to the body. They trade punches, and Diego goes for another body kick, misses. Now they’re going toe to toe busting each other up. Gil drops Diego, but he gets right back up and into the slugfest. The round ends that way. Good round, close, but 10-9 Melendez
Round 2:Gil opens with a straight right. Diego with a leg kick. Gil doing a good job keeping his jab in Diego’s face. They trade shots center cage again, both land good shots. Gil with a leg kick. The ref stops the action to check out Diego’s cut. It’s a real nasty one but it’s not bleeding that badly. They start it up again. Gil with a right that sneaks through. Diego goes for a flying knee, misses. Diego lands a nice one to the beard, Gil responds with a head shot and a body shot. Good jab by Gil, Diego charges in wildly, lands a couple glancing shots. Diego misses a hook, Gil sticks a good right. Big body kick by Diego. Gil goes head body. Diego shoots, gets the takedown, but Gil pops right back up. Now that cut is starting to flow. Diego lands a right, Gil with an uppercut and a hook. Diego shoots, Gil sprawls and delivers a knee on the break. Diego charges in yet again, eats a shot for it. Another good round, 10-9 Melendez
Round 3: Front kick misses by Gil, as well as a body shot. Diego sticks an uppercut. Gil lands a left hook. They trade hard again, both land but Gil looks to have gotten the better of it. Damn, they’re going toe to toe, this is fucking great! They both landed a bunch of solid shots there. And man, Diego is busted up. Diego charges in again, Gil smacks him a couple good ones. They stop it again to look at that cut. It’s bleeding like a sumbitch, but it’s flowing around the side of the eye. They start it up again. Diego’s a mess, but he’s ready to roll man, very intense. Gil with a body shot, Diego with a good leg kick. Toe to toe again, Gil lands three to Diego’s two. Oh a couple real good shots landed by Diego, rocks Gil and drops him, now he’s on his back. Gil switches, takes Diego down, Diego going for a guillotine, Gil escapes, this is insanity. Gil lands a knee, and an elbow off the break. Diego with a body kick. Gil takes Diego down, now he’s up, and Diego hits a switch. They seterape, and Diego goes with a couple more body kicks. They end it up toe to toe kicking the shit out of each other. Awesome!!!!!! 10-9 Diego
The official decision is in and it’s Gil Melendez via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28) .
Definite Fight of the Night, could be Fight of the Year.
Diego gets a standing ovation from the Houston fans. His face is a wreck, looks like someone hit him in the face with a hatchet.
They’re going to the undercard to fill some time.
Roy Nelson and Daniel Cormier are next
Speaking with the media this week Dana White said of his favorite employee, “Roy’s just stupid and says stupid things, and I gotta deal with the stupid shit that he says.” That pretty much sums up Roy’s UFC career. Well that and showing up for fights looking a hot mess. But that’s just Roy, man. He’s misunderstood, kind of like the heal on a loaf of white bread. It’s stigmatized to the point where people either discard it immediately or just keep pushing it aside in favor of the choice slices.
It’s the story of Big Country’s life. Mocked by assholes like us, constantly insulted by his employer, Roy Nelson perseveres the only way he can – by appealing to the fans through his attempted common man persona. But like many a desperate plea for acceptance, he takes it too far. With his cumbersome hair, seemingly lice-infested beard, and greasy floppers, Roy would probably be in violation of even SAMCRO’s lenient grooming standards. One can even picture a teenage Roy, marginalized by his merciless classmates, spending evenings in his bedroom, housing cheese balls and sobbing into his loving dog’s non-judgmental mane,” They just don’t understand, Biscuit. No one understands!”
Like Nelson, Cormier dropped a few as well. He weighed in at 224 pounds, 11 less than his last fight against Frank Mur. He said he was on his way to 205, so this is a good start. Cormier at any weight is awesome, but at 205, with the strong possibility of a fight against Jon Jones somewhere in the near future, hopefully, it’s downright boner inducing.
Round 1: Here we go. Roy opens up with a lazy left, goes nowhere with it. Cormier grabs a leg, dumps Roy on his back. Roy with butterfly guard, Cormier is having none of it, puts Roy in a cradle, now working some body shots from top position. Roy gives up his back to stand up, Cormier drags him back down. Roy desperately tries to latch onto a leg. Cormier delivers a knee. Roy working a Kimura. Lets it go. Another single leg takedown by Cormier, Roy stands back up. Now Cormier has Roy pressed against the cage, administers a knee to the gut. Uppercut to the body by Cormier. Oh damn, huge knee to the body, then another that may have caught Roy in the sack. Big Country is taking a minute. Back to the action. High kick misses by Cormier. Roy goes for an overhand right, skims it. Cormier answers with a big right. Nice left lands by Cormier. Roy ends it with a huge miss. 10-9 Cormier
Round 2: Roy opens the round by missing about eight punches in a row. Cormier fakes a takedown, misses a shot of his own. Front kick to the body lands by Cormier. Cormier charges in, lands a good hook, pushes Roy into the cage. Knee to the body, grabs a leg and plants Roy yet again. Big Country doing a very good job of bouncing right back up though. Cormier has him against the cage again. He delivers a couple decent punches from the clinch. Roy escapes. The statisticians have it 40-9 significant strikes for Cormier. Cormier misses a huge overhand right, Roy sticks a jab. Switch kick by Cormier, blocked, then unloads a few shots to Roy’s head. 10-9 Cormier
Round 3: Cormier opens with a front kick, blocked by Roy. Good right hand landed by Cormier. Cormier with a jab, and they trade overhand rights. Inside leg kick by Cormier. Cormier fakes a takedown, misses a spinning kick, then lands a high kick. Roy eats it like it aint no thang. Three kicks in succession by Cormier, the body kick was the only one that landed. Left hook lands by Cormier. Roy skims a left. Cormier sticks a big straight right, then takes Roy down. And he’s up again. High kick by Cormier, blocked by Roy. Roy is calling his in, has his hands down. Cormier isn’t biting. Roy lands a left, Cormier responds with a right. They end the round with Roy missing a whole mess of punches, Cormier landing a few, and Roy almost dropping Cormier with a leg kick. That’s that, 10-9 Cormier, and should be an easy unanimous decision.
The decision is in and it’s a unanimous decision (30-27 x 3) for Daniel Cormier.
Main event time, Cain Velasquez vs Junior Dos Santos
Some mock Cain as a man of zero personality few words. But these people are ignant sons-a-bitches who lack the mental capacity to comprehend the true meaning behind “Brown Pride.” It’s not about being loud and obnoxious, despite the loud and obnoxious mariachi music Cain walks out to. It’s about hard work, honor, and the fact that the other carnales used to tease Cain for being so light-skinned – kind of like Miklo – so he did what any level-minded individual would do, he got a big-ass tat across his chest proclaiming his brownness. Hey, beats becoming the one-legged leader of a vicious prison gang.
Junior is fired up that nobody is taking seriously his argument that he over-trained and peaked early leading up to his loss to Cain at UFC 155. To Dos Santos, that loss was the likely result of a scientific training error, not the 25 minute, systematic ass-whooping by the night’s better man that the rest of the world witnessed. But what do we know about the nuances of high level training? Shit, many of us claim to understand the ground game because of that half season of JV wrestling all those years ago. Maybe Junior’s got a point, despite it sounding about as ridiculous as Shane Carwin’s loss to Brock Lesnar being caused by an “adrenaline dump.” We just don’t know.
JDS rolls out to the Rocky theme. Goldy says it’s a true Rocky story even though it’s really nothing like that.
A’ight, let’s do this shit!
Round 1: Right off the bat JDS lands a good shot and staggers Cain. Then Cain sticks a takedown, JDS up, catches Cain again. Furious pace to start off. Cain is pushing JDS against the cage, landing short shots and working for a takedown. JDS free. Cain pressing the action, pushes JDS to the cage again, looking to wear JDS down. And they separate. Cain shoots, JDS stuffs. Cain pushes it back against the cage, and Cain lands a takedown, ends up in half guard. Elbow from the bottom from JDS. Cain delivers an elbow, ad another. Cain takes the back, now side, JDS is up again, but Cain is on his again, pushing him against the cage and landing short shots, trying for a trip. Cain lands a good left, and a couple more short ones. He’s just not giving JDS an inch. He’s all over him. A left from Cain, then a knee to the thigh from the clinch. They separate and JDS misses a spinning kick. 10-9 Cain
Round 2: They trade jabs to open things up. Left hook by JDS, Cain grabs a leg and takes JDS down, but he pops right back up. Cain pushing it to the cage again, working some knees to the thighs that look real sucky. Cain lands a couple shots on the separation, Cain clinches again. JDS pushes Cain away. Cain charges back in with a hook that misses ,but he manages to clinch it up again. Good knee to the thigh, and they separate again. Cain shoots, JDS defends, but he’s got his back against the cage again with Cain working those legs. JDS goes for a trip, Cain up, lands a good right. Clinches again. Cain is pushing a brutal fight, clearly looking to wear JDS out. Huge knee to the thigh, followed by a short hook to the grill. They separate and JDS lands a good right, Cain aint having it and clinches again. Cain with a few left hooks, then JDS lands a nice right. Good shot but it’s still all Cain 10-9
Round 3: Overhand right lands by JDS. Cain shoots, stuffed, pushes it to the cage instead. Cain lands a big right, clinches up again, and working those knees to the thigh. Cain with a few short shots, then an uppercut. JDS sticks a nice elbow, Cain still pressing the action. Knee to the body of Cain, while Cain continues to work the legs. Jab by Cain lands. JDS lifts a knee, Cain catches it and goes for a takedown, stuffed. Cain drops JDS with a huge right and is pounding on him. Herb Dean damn near stopped it, but allows it to go on. JDS is rocked, and Cain is so relentless. Lands a couple more. And another. Now Cain pushes him into the fence again, working some dirty boxing. Cain backs off, look to land again and does. Uppercut to the body, and Cain catches him again with an overhand right. And again. JDS is taking a beating here, but he’s staying upright. Incredible heart. 10-9 Cain
Round 3: JDS is looking rough. Cain looks like he just went for a walk. Cain opens things up by landing another big right. Cain clinches up again, backs off and is landing more big shots. JDS still standing. Cain working for a takedown, cannot get it. Elbow off the break by JDS, and Cain answers with two good shots. Cain has JDS against the cage, looking for a trip. They separate briefly and Cain lands a hook. JDS lands a good elbow. JDS lands a good right, Cain with a body kick. Oh, nice uppercut by JDS, and as banged up as he is he’s still got some sting on those shots. Herb Dean stops the action to check JDS’s cuts. His face is jacked and he has a cut over his right eye. Here we go again. JDS swings wildly, misses. Cain charges in, JDS sticks a real good elbow, and Cain responds with a good right. Another elbow, and a left hook by JDS. Cain clinches and lands an elbow of his own. Cain sticks a straight right to end the round. 10-9 Cain
Round 5: JDS’s left eye is swollen completely shut and he still comes out firing. Cain lands a takedown in the middle of the cage. JDS gets to his back, now working to get back up to his feet. Cain is all over him, but he manages to get up. Cain clinches him into the cage. Lands two nasty punches to the neck. Cain working that dirty boxing, lands about seven shots to the neck and body. JDS tries to push off, lands an elbow, but Cain punches him in the face then clinches him again. More knees to the thighs. They separate and Cain hits another right, clinches it again. JDS falls down, Cain bashes him and the fight is stopped. Wow, dominating performance.
The official decision is in, and it’s a TKO at 3:09 of round 5 for Cain Velasquez.
Another amazing performance by Cain. Awesome card top to bottom. I got to roll. Thanks for hanging with us. We’ll analyze this shit tomorrow.
Handling the play-by-play for the FOX Sports 1 main card is Seth Falvo, who will be stacking live results and his own deep thoughts after the jump beginning at 7 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own thoughts into the comments section.
(“Alright homey, let’s give these fans what they paid for — 25 minutes of evenly-matched grappling stalemates.” / Photo via Getty)
Handling the play-by-play for the FOX Sports 1 main card is Seth Falvo, who will be stacking live results and his own deep thoughts after the jump beginning at 7 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own thoughts into the comments section.
Preliminary card results Igor Araujo def. Ildemar Alcantara by unanimous decision
Yan Cabral def. David Mitchell by unanimous decision
Chris Cariaso def. Iliarde Santos by TKO, 4:31 Round Two
Alan Patrick def. Garett Whiteley by TKO, 3:45 Round One
Please stand by…
Good evening everyone – pleasure for me to be bringing you live results. I hope you didn’t buy into that “deep thoughts” nonsense that Ben tried to sell you on. Honestly, if I make it through this with only one semi-related GIF, only one obscure professional wrestling reference, and only five hundred typos, I’ll consider this liveblog a smashing success.
AND WE ARE LIVE!!!
I happen to be watching the fights this evening from the classiest place imaginable. Well, classiest place that will allow me to furiously tap at a keyboard and swear at a television, that is (I’m at a suburban Buffalo Wild Wings outside of New Orleans. Judge me, bro). KenFlo’s hair looks magnificent, there’s an Ultimate Fighter preview on tv, and all is right in the world. Alright, let’s do this:
Raphael Assuncao vs. T.J. Dillashaw
Round One: Nice leg kick from Raphael to start us of. Dillashaw is swinging for the fences early, but not really connecting. They’re feeling each other out, throwing leg kicks that occasionally land. Dillashaw with a nice takedown, but Assuncao is soon back to his feet. Head kick from Dillashaw gets caught by Assuncao, but Dillashaw escapes. There’s a scramble, and Dillashaw not has Assuncao’s back! He’s working for a standing rear-naked choke, and Assuncao is now on the mat. He’s got room to breathe though. Dillashaw gives up on the choke attempt, and Assuncao manages to escape. They’re back on their feet now. Dillashaw attempts a front kick as the round comes to an end.
Round Two: They touch gloves, and Assuncao immediately throws a leg kick. Another one lands for Assuncao. He now attempts a head kick, but it misses. Dillashaw now does the same thing. Dillashaw throws a body kick, and Assuncao catches it, landing a nice straight. Dillashaw lands another takedown, pinning Assuncao against the cage. They’re back to their feet, and Dillashaw throws another head kick. Assuncao trips, then attempts a takedown that is stuffed by Dillashaw. Once again, Dillashaw has Assuncao’s back, but Assuncao escapes and we’re back to the feet. Lots of blood now, but I can’t tell who is bleeding.
Um, is this a mid-round commercial break? Dafuq?
Round Three: We’re back, and both guys are feeling each other out with the occasional leg kick. So far, I got Dillashaw winning both rounds…you know, in case you care to trust the guy who just got confused by a commercial break. Assuncao catches another kick, and works for another takedown that Dillashaw stuffs immediately. Dillashaw appears to be cut above his right eye. Two minutes left in this one. Assuncao is landing some nice counter strikes, but unless he gets the KO, I think it’ll be too little too late. One minute left now, and Assuncao misses with a kick. Assuncao now has Dillashaw clinched up against the cage, but Dillashaw escapes. This fight comes to an end, and I have Dillashaw taking it, 29-28. Let’s see if the refs agree…
Only one does. Raphael Assuncao def. T.J. Dillashaw by split decision.
Rousimar Palhares vs. Mike Pierce
Round One:Pierce immediately rushes Palhares, and immediately regrets his decision by nearly getting caught in a heel hook. He escapes, and proceeds to get caught in a heel hook that actually ends the fight.
Official Result: Rousimar Palhares def. Mike Pierce via submission (heel hook), 0:31 of Round One. Bold prediction [/sarcasm]: This will be the submission of the night.
We’ve now got Chael Sonnen and Brian Stann doing their best to convince us that Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill will be worth watching. That’s neat, I guess…
That segment is wisely followed up by a UFC 166 preview.
Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran
Round One: They touch gloves, and Beltran is throwing combinations early and often. He now has Fabio clinched against the cage, and…ouch, that’s gotta hurt. Is it me, or is Maldonado like, reaaalllllyyyy prone to nut shots? Okay, we’re back. Beltran is throwing, but Maldonado is doing a good job avoiding his punches. They clinch against the cage again, and Beltran looks for a standing guillotine. Maldonado with a few nice body shots, and Beltran is now incorporating a wall-and-stall heavy offense, with a few knees and elbows sprinkled in . Beltran swings for the fences, but Maldonado avoids his haymakers. He can’t escape from the cage though. Beltran lands a nice straight right, and Fabio seems dazed. The round ends with Maldonado taunting Beltran, who I think was busy enough to take the round.
Round Two: Maldonado begins the round with a double thumbs-up. I approve. Beltran is throwing some heavy strikes, but Maldonado is doing a nice job avoiding and countering. Beltran rushes Maldonado against the cage, and both men are now letting their hands go. Beltran clinches Maldonado against the cage, and lands a really nice knee. Yamasaki separates them, as Maldonado appears to have dropped his mouth guard. Beltran attempts to get Fabio back against the cage, but Maldonado gets away. This fight now has both men clinching in the center of the cage, throwing body shots. They separate, with Beltran blitzing Maldonado in an attempt to get his back against the cage, as this round comes to an end. Good fight.
Round Three: We’ve got more combinations, more Beltran clinching against the cage, a foul (this time Beltran is on the business end), blood, more clinching, some nice knees from Beltran, and these two hug it out at the end of the fight. What can I say, I decided to be efficient this round.
Fabio Maldonado def. Joey Beltran via split decision.
Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill
I do not feel good about this…
Round One: Hamill has officially lasted longer than Mike Pierce did…so, you know, there’s that. Leg kick Hamill. And another, that Silva counters with a huge right hand. Leg kick Silva. Hamill with a nice body shot there. Two minutes left in the round, with Silva missing with a vicious haymaker. Hamill is doing a good job avoiding Silva’s heavier shopts, but Silva has had success with leg kicks throughout the round. Much closer first round than I was anticipating.
Round Two: Hamill catches Silva early, but Silva recovers. Hamill is keeping his hands dangerously low, as Silva is still catching Hamill with leg kicks. Some awkward, slow combinations from Hamill…that Silva barely misses. My this fight is sad. Silva now has Hamill’s back and is throwing punches, but Hamill escapes. The fight returns to a slow, sloppy kickboxing match, until Hamill takes Silva’s back against the cage. Hamill now has Silva on the ground, but can’t finish the fight before this round mercifully comes to an end.
Round Three: You know what? Screw liveblogging this fight. Play us off, wrestler GIF.
Thiago Silva def. Matt Hamill via unanimous decision.
Erick Silva vs. Dong-Hyun Kim
Whoa, technical difficulties here! Don’t get too excited though, because I’m back. Anyways, Kim’s grinding style works well in neutralizing Silva for most of the fight, and then Kim connects with a HUGE overhand right left, knocking Silva out cold. Awesome victory for Kim!
Dong-Hyun Kim def. Erick Silva via KO, 3:01 Round Two
Main event time!
Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields
Round One: No glove touch here, as Shields opens up with some leg kicks. Maia shoots for a takedown, and now has Shields against the cage looking for the takedown. He eventually gets it, and is in Shields’ guard. Maia looks to transition, but Shields’ butterfly guard is strong, and is controlling Maia’s hips well. Shields gets to his feet, and works for a takedown of his own now. Maia reverses, and lands another takedown. Shields gets up, but gives Maia his back in the process. Shields escapes, and gets Maia down. Maia has shields in his half guard, and gains full guard as Shields attempts to pass to side control. Shields attempts to pass guard, but Maia isn’t having it. Shields throws a few punches now, as Maia is now throwing punches from the bottom. The round ends with Shields in Maia’s guard.
Round Two: Shields opens the round with a few kicks, and then shoots for a takedown. Maia stuffs it, and looks for a takedown of his own now. Shields counters that takedown, and is in Maia’s half guard against the cage. Maia has full guard now. Shields is working for elbows, as Maia looks for a way back to his feet. Shields is back in Maia’s half guard, as Maia looks for a triangle. Shields avoids it, as Maia uses the butterfly guard to try to get a little space. Shields is content to control space – not exactly a bad strategy when you’re grappling against a guy like Maia. To Maia’s credit, he’s been looking for submissions and passes for the entire round, as this one comes to an end.
Round Three: Shields with another leg kick, and throws a head kick as well. Maia with a straight left, and misses with another one. Body shot Maia. Big left from Maia, as Shields decides he’s done pretending to be a kickboxer and shoots for a takedown. Maia reverses it, and now has Shields against the cage. Shields counters the takedown nicely, and now they’re back on the feet. Maia rocks Shields, and has Shields’ back. He gets the takedown, and has Shields’ back. AWESOME reversal from Shields, and he’s in Maia’s guard. Both guys are punching each other from Maia’s guard, as Shields now passes to Maia’s half-guiard. Maia throwing some ineffective punches from the bottom, as Shields begins to throw a few hammerfists. Shields throws a few elbows, as this round comes to an end.
Round Four: They feel each other out, and Shields rushes in for a double-leg takedown. Shields has Maia against the cage, but Maia reverses, and throws a knee against the cage. Shields reverses position now, and the ref has seen enough. He separates them, and Shields immediately shoots for a single leg. He’s unable to get it, and looks frustrated. He shoots for another, and Maia stuffs it. Maia is in Shields’ guard, with just under two minutes to go. Maia with some body shots, and we’ve got yet another stand-up. Eh, I’ve seen more than enough sloppy kickboxing from Silva/Hamill, but it’s not the worst stand-up I’ve seen. Maia gets the better of the exchanges as this round comes to an end. Both guys look exhausted.
Round Five: It’s been a close fight, as Shields is working his jab early and often to start things off. Maia is throwing some heavy shots, but he’s coming up short with most of them. Shields shoots for a takedown, but Maia stuffs it. Shields with a kick. Shields shoots for another takedown, but Maia stays on his feet. Maia now has Shields against the cage, but Shields escapes, and we’re treated to more grapplers impersonating kickboxers. Delightful. Maia lands a nice left hand, and Shields lands a kick. Shields shoots for another takedown, but Maia sprawls. Shields has Maia against the cage, but Maia works for a standing kimura. The ref separates them with less than thirty seconds to go. Maia is swinging for the fences, but Shields manages to survive until the end of the fight.
Tough call on who won this one…
The official decision is in: Jake Shields def. Demian Maia via split decision.
Eh, my parlay paid off, so I’m pretty excited. Interesting night of fights. We’ll have plenty to discuss tomorrow.
(Ugh. MMA fans can be so annoying. / Photo via Getty)
If you count the UFC interim bantamweight championship as a real title, then there are two belts on the line tonight at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre. Neither fight should be particularly competitive, but hey, blowouts can be fun too. On tonight’s menu: Jon Jones looks to clinch the longest title-defense streak in UFC light-heavyweight history against Swedish striker Alexander Gustafsson, and Renan Barao could put another footnote in the history books with a second interim belt defense against Eddie Wineland. Plus, Sir Smoke-A-Lot tries to put a dent in Khabib Nurmagomedov’s undefeated record, and Matt Mitrione vs. Brendan Schaub will slug each other into unconsciousness. Hopefully.
Round-by-round results from the UFC 165 pay-per-view broadcast will be accumulating after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of your old pal BG. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, drop your thoughts into the comments section, and swing by our Twitter page tonight for additional observations and yuk-yuks from CagePotato staff writer Matt Saccaro. Now let’s have some fun.
(Ugh. MMA fans can be so annoying. / Photo via Getty)
If you count the UFC interim bantamweight championship as a real title, then there are two belts on the line tonight at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre. Neither fight should be particularly competitive, but hey, blowouts can be fun too. On tonight’s menu: Jon Jones looks to clinch the longest title-defense streak in UFC light-heavyweight history against Swedish striker Alexander Gustafsson, and Renan Barao could put another footnote in the history books with a second interim belt defense against Eddie Wineland. Plus, Sir Smoke-A-Lot tries to put a dent in Khabib Nurmagomedov’s undefeated record, and Matt Mitrione vs. Brendan Schaub will slug each other into unconsciousness. Hopefully.
Round-by-round results from the UFC 165 pay-per-view broadcast will be accumulating after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of your old pal BG. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, drop your thoughts into the comments section, and swing by our Twitter page tonight for additional observations and yuk-yuks from CagePotato staff writer Matt Saccaro. Now let’s have some fun.
UFC 165 prelim results:
FOX SPORTS 1 PRELIMINARY CARD
– Myles Jury def. Mike Ricci via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
– Wilson Reis def. Ivan Menjivar via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Stephen Thompson def. Chris Clements via KO, 1:27 of round 2
– Mitch Gagnon def. Dustin Kimura via technical submission (guillotine choke), 4:05 of round 1
FACEBOOK PRELIMINARY CARD
– John Makdessi def. Renee Forte via KO, 2:01 of round 1
– Michel Prazeres def. Jesse Ronson via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
– Alex Caceres def. Roland Delorme via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
– Daniel Omielanczuk def. Nandor Guelmino via KO, 3:18 of round 3
Welcome, friends. I know you’re as tired as I am of hearing about Alexander Gustafsson’s incredible one-inch height advantage, so let’s just bury that shit right here, right now. From this point forward, I am not going to mention the UFC’s bullshit hype-line about how Gustafsson is a threat because he’s tall. That’s my promise to you.
Pat Healy vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov
…and if you think I’ll be spelling out Nurmy’s full name dozens of times in this liveblog, you’re out of your damn mind. He will be referred to here as KN. Joe Rogan is still baffled by KN’s wacky wig. Mike Goldberg calmly explains that it is a traditional Russian sheepskin hat, worn to pay tribute to KN’s heritage. This marks the first time that Goldberg has ever passed along useful information. I am savoring this moment.
Round 1: Healy opens with a long lead hook. And again, as KN backpedals. KN rushes in lands a couple punches and exits. Healy still chasing with that hook. He tries a straight right to the body. Healy shoots, KN brushes him off. KN throws a hook and tries to roll out but Healy follows him, pushing him against the fence. Healy is coming forward relentlessly, and KN is playing a more elusive game. KN tries the ol’ flying knee as Healy wades in. Healy gets tagged with an uppercut walking in and he’s cut under his left eye. Healy takes a break from his march forward, then resumes throwing punches. The fight is briefly paused when KN loses his mouthpiece. Healy comes in like a zombie, swinging wide right hands. KN throws another flying knee to stop Healy’s forward progress. A punch combo from Healy lands. KN gets a takedown, but Healy is quickly up. KN drags Healy down again, but Healy gets up, and KN pops him twice as the bell rings.
Is Healy’s nose broken again, or does it seriously always look like that?
Round 2: KN lands a counter hook then an uppercut, but Healy staggers him with a punch of his own. KN ties up with Healy and drags him to the mat. Probably his best strategy, because Healy’s pressure is constant on the feet. Healy gets up. KN with a leg kick. KN lands a hook then fires a leg kick. KN is doing all of this while moving backwards. Healy lands a good shot and KN is on the run. KN throws a flying knee that doesn’t come anywhere close to landing. KN drags Healy down again, but as usual Healy is on his feet before KN can capitalize on it. Healy lands a straight right on the button. As he moves forward, KN drops and grabs onto a leg. KN lands an uppercut from the clinch, and one on the exit. Healy gets some distance and fires his own punches, KN shoots for a double and dumps Healy on his back. KN with a couple of sharp strikes from the top, and the round ends.
KN not taking his stool between rounds two and three. Crazy Russians.
Round 3: Healy coming out walking forward and throwing heat. KN drops and shoots, Healy breaks free. Another clinch, Healy works in a knee to the body. KN scores a takedown, fires a hard left hand from the top. KN grinding down on Healy, sneaking in punches where he can. KN hanging on tight as Healy tries to get to his feet. Healy’s up. KN picks him up and fireman-carries him across the cage for a Hughes/Trigg-style slam. That’ll make an impression with the judges, for sure. KN gets some distance and starts upping the intensity of his ground and pound. KN works the ribs and ear of Healy. KN on Healy like glue as Healy tries to make it to his feet before the last bell. It ain’t happening; Healy looks exhausted. KN transitions to back control as the last horn sounds. KN jumps up on the cage and calls for his funny hat, celebrating before the decision is actually read. Let’s hope the judges don’t mess it up, because he’d look like a real asshole.
Khabib Nurmagomedov def. Pat healy via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3). Nurmagomedov puts his hat on Joe Rogan, reminds everybody of his 21-0 record (5-0 in the UFC), and asks for a title shot. “I am legend,” he says, I think.
Costa Philippou vs. Francis Carmont
Man, the Air Canada Centre doesn’t mess around with their security staff. Philippou comes out to the cage escorted by five 400-pound bald white guys who are all a head taller than him.
Round 1: Front kick Carmont. Carmont throws another kick to the body. Philippou tries to return a kick of his own, but Carmont rips one into Philippou’s leg, then scores a takedown. Carmont has Philippou against the fence, hanging off his legs. Philippou tries to work to his feet, Carmont takes his back and starts throwing in punches from behind. Philippou rolls to escape the position, and Carmont is on top of him in guard. Carmont throws down an elbow. Philippou looks for an armbar, but Carmont defends. Philippou stuck on bottom. Philippou working his guard, looking to attack. Carmont is stifling him. Carmont gets some space and fires down a punch. Philippou looks for the armbar again but time runs out in the round. 10-9 Carmont.
Round 2: Carmont pops the jab. Carmont ducks under a punch from Philippou, shoots and puts Philippou on his back again. Carmont pushes Philippou against the fence. Carmont with a knee to the body, a punch from the top. Philippou tries to roll out, Carmont stays on him. Big John stands them up. Carmont drops to his knees and muscles Philippou to the mat. Carmont sneaks in a few punches to Philippou’s face. Carmont gets some space and tees off, then returns to the grind. He briefly transitions to mount, but Philippou establishes half guard as the round ends. Philippou looks utterly defeated, taking a moment before getting to his feet and shame-walking back to his corner. 10-9 Carmont.
Round 3: Philippou tries the jab. Carmont brushes him back with a wide head kick. Carmont shoots for the takedown and scores. Carmont grunting like a female tennis player as he swings down punches from above. Carmont lands a knee to the body. Philippou tries a guillotine choke from half-guard, and Carmont slips out with ease. The crowd boos, Carmont grunts and punches. Carmont just bullying Philippou now. Philippou stuck on his back, eating punches and elbows. Carmont gets mount and fires down a hammer-fist, and a double-hammerfist. The round ends. Carmont won every round. It wasn’t a particularly entertaining fight, but Carmont’s utter dominance of Philippou on the mat was very unexpected, and quite impressive.
Francis Carmont def. Costa Philippou via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 30-26). No time for an interview. The fans are restless.
Brendan Schaub vs. Matt Mitrione
Really hoping for a quick KO here to speed things along. Mitrione does some walk-out karaoke, singing along to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Simple Man.” Chris Lytle showing support in Mitrione’s corner. Always great to see that guy. Schaub rips off two cartwheels when he gets into the Octagon. This ain’t Ultimate Tumbling, son.
Round 1: Mitrione doesn’t feel like touching gloves. He pops a straight left. Schaub lands a right hand that gets Mitrione’s attention. They clash in a striking exchange. Very tense opening. Schaub dashes forward with a long-distance straight right. Big right hand from Schaub. Mitrione tries a kick. He’s cut near his left eye, and that thing is bleedin’. Inside leg kick from Mitrione. Lead hook from Schaub. Schaub storms forward with power punches. Mitrione eats them and smiles. Schaub body slams him and Mitrione isn’t smiling anymore. Schaub wraps up Mitrione’s neck as Mitrione tries to stand up, and drags him to the mat with a D’arce choke. Schaub squeezes. He shouts to the ref that Mitrione is out, but Mitrione gives the ref the thumbs-up. Schaub squeezes harder and…yep, Mitrione is out. The ref stops the fight, and Mitrione lays there, limp.
Brendan Schaub def. Matt Mitrione via submission (D’arce choke), 4:06 of round 1. Schaub is elated with the win, and shouts out all his training partners and instructors, including Rener Gracie. He also invites Joe Rogan onto his podcast, The Fighter and the Kid.
Alright, time for some title fights…
Renan Barao vs. Eddie Wineland
Round 1: Wineland runs out to the center of the cage and refuses the glove tap. Wineland flashing his hands, going for the body. He misses some punches but lands a straight to Barao’s face. He’s trying to set the pace early. They clinch briefly against the fence, the crowd immediately starts booing, and Yves Lavigne immediately separates them. Attaboy. Barao slips to the mat after an exchange but pops right back up. Barao fires a turning side kick but hits air. Wineland trying to find his distance, throwing from long range, not hitting much. Barao charges in with a pair of hooks. Wineland brushes off a takedown attempt. Barao lands a punch combo. Both men land heavy in a punching exchange. Barao swings over Wineland’s head, and the round ends. Pretty close, but Wineland was the aggressor for most of it.
Round 2: Wineland power-walks out to the center once again. Barao with a wide haymaker, Wineland returns fire. Barao tries the turning side kick again and it’s a direct hit to Wineland’s jaw. Wineland falls backwards to the mat, and Barao swarms with punches. The ref is on top of it and stops the action before Wineland can take too much additional abuse.
Renan Barao def. Eddie Wineland via TKO, 0:35 of round 2. Well, it was competitive while it lasted, but when a Brazilian starts throws spinning shit at you, duck. Barao calls out Dominick Cruz, of course. I guess that’s a fight that needs to happen, but with Cruz out of action so long, it almost doesn’t seem fair.
Jon Jones vs. Alexander Gustafsson
Jones’s shorts sport the Nike swoosh and Gatorade ‘G’. Your move, Condom Depot. He slaps his body a few times, just to feel what that would be like.
Round 1: Gustafsson and Jones both using their range right away, throwing out some long kicks and punches. Jones fires a kick up top. Jones with those inside kicks to the knees. Jones throws a quick superman punch. Jones returns a nice leg kick, and lands a left hand. Body kick Jones. Leg kick Gustafsson. Jones lands a hard right hand, Gustafsson counters. Gus throws a pair of straight punches, and Jones is cut open. Jones with the knee kick. Gustafsson lands more punches. They trade low kicks. Gustafsson reaches for a superman punch over the top. And Gustafsson becomes the first man to take Jones to the mat! He lets Jones up. Point proven. Jones spins for an elbow. Gustafsson gets poked in the eye, and Big John warns both of them for letting their fingers hang out. Jones rushes forward and lands his spinning elbow, trying to steal the round with a final burst of aggression. They clinch against the fence as time expires. Gustafsson may have earned that opening round, 10-9.
Round 2: Inside leg kick Jones. Gustafsson catches his leg when Jones tries it again and shoves him to the mat. Jones bounces back up, Gustafsson dodges out of the way as Jones tries to make him pay. Jones lands a lead elbow. Gustafsson with a left hook. Hard body kick from Jones, Gustafsson returns a knee. Jones misses a turning side kick. And again. Then he lands a high roundhouse. Jones stuffs a takedown. Gustafsson whips some sharp punches. Jones lands a lead hook. He whiffs an overhand right. Gustafsson catches a kick from Jones and dumps him, Jones springs up and tries to put together a takedown of his own but can’t do it. Inside leg kick Jones. Jones scores dead-on with a head kick but Gustafsson walks through it. Gustafsson scores with punches. That’s the round. It’s another close one, though the champ did a little better this time.
Jones’s right eyebrow looks ragged.
Round 3: Leg kick Jones. Gustafsson pops Jones with an uppercut as the champ rushes in. They clash shins as Jones tries another leg kick. Gustafsson stuffs a takedown. He lands jabs to the body and head. Knee kick Jones. Gustafsson landing from different angles. Leg kick from Jones is checked. Front kick to the body from Jones. Jones isn’t really putting strikes together…it’s one kick at a time, for the most part. Gustafsson lands another solid uppercut in a flurry. Jones brushes him back with a head kick. Jones with a hook and a knee-kick. Jones fires an axe kick and Gustafsson dodges. Body kick from Jones, who’s getting some momentum back. Knee kick and jab from Jones. Gustafsson advancing with punches, jabbing low and high. Jones stuffs a takedown attempt. Gustafsson catches a kick from Jones, but fails to dump him down this time. Jones dashes forward and lands his spinning elbow.1-2 from Gus. Jones lands a hard jab at the bell. Another close one. Gustafsson was doing great in the first half, but Jones did his best to even things out.
Round 4: Time to see what Gustafsson’s made of. He’s never seen the championship rounds before. 1-2 from Gustafsson lands. Leg kick Gustafsson. Jones tries a front kick to the body, a knee kick, a head-kick. Jones fires a right hand. Gustafsson catches his leg and tries to push him down, but can’t. Gustafsson lands hard with his right cross. Hard inside leg kick from Jones. Gus pops the jab. More inside leg kicks from Jones. Gustafsson stuffs a takedown. Gustafsson lands punches and a body kick. Jones dumps down, clinches, and pushes Gustafsson against the fence. Gustafsson slips out. Blood pouring down the right side of Jones’s face. Gustafsson lands his 1-2 cleanly, and stuffs a takedown. A turning side kick from Jones glances of Gus’s shoulder, but he lands a head kick. Gustafsson shakes out of a clinch. Gustafsson avoids one spinning elbow but gets hit cleanly with another, and he’s on his heels as Jones throws in a knee and pours on punches. Jones attacking ferociously, trying to seize the moment. Gustafsson still manages to defend a takedown, but he’s getting lit up as the round ends. Jones might have stolen that round after being outgunned for the first four minutes of it. Gustafsson is now as bloody as Jones is.
Round 5: Gustafsson with a jab to the body, leg kick from Jones. Gustafsson lands a right hand. Another jab downstairs. Jones lands a body kick. Leg kick Jones. Gustafsson lands hard with his uppercut as Jones tries to clinch. Jones slams a led elbow into Gustafsson’s face. Jones lands a counter-right. He takes Gustafsson down, and Gustafsson scoots back to the cage and stands. Gustafsson circles out of Jones’s grasp. Jones lands a head-kick point blank. Gustafsson takes it. He takes *another* head kick. And *again*. Kid’s got a chin, but this isn’t looking good for him. Jones with a body kick. Gustafsson is exhausted but still game. Jones lands another head kick. My God, Gustafsson’s poor brain. Gustafsson dropping his hands out of fatigue, and Jones fires the head-kick upstairs. Jones lands an uppercut. Gustafsson stuffs a takedown and eats a knee, and the round ends. That was clearly a 10-9 for Jones, but it might have been the only round where the score was obvious. Scorecards might be all over the map, here. Prepare for heartbreak.
Jon Jones def. Alexander Gustafsson via unanimous decision (48-47 x 2, 49-46). The crowd boos. Jones says he got that dog-fight he was looking for. Jones says he got to test his warrior spirit, and that means more than getting the win. Gustafsson says he’s just starting his career, and he’ll come back stronger. Gustafsson and Jones shake hands and bow to each other in the cage. Jones needs help walking out of the cage and back to the locker room.
Maybe the only thing we didn’t expect out of this fight was a brutal war of attrition. Gustafsson performed far beyond our expectations, but the champ started taking control in round 4. No matter how the rounds were scored, or how they could have been scored, Jones won that fight. Gustafsson was the walking dead in round five, held up only by heart and will.
Take care, Potato Nation. We’ll talk more tomorrow.
(Dana White isn’t there. Joe Rogan isn’t there. Arianny and Brittney aren’t there. But if you’re the Veteran Voice of the Octagon, you grab a polo shirt out of the hamper and show the hell up. It’s called integrity, okay? Hippofan knows what I’m talking about. / Photo via MMAJunkie)
Live round-by-round results for those fights will be located after the jump starting around 8 p.m. ET-ish. We’ll also post quick results from the supporting card beforehand. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and if you’re watching along with us on FOX Sports 1, use the comments section to let us know how you feel.
(Dana White isn’t there. Joe Rogan isn’t there. Arianny and Brittney aren’t there. But if you’re the Veteran Voice of the Octagon, you grab a polo shirt out of the hamper and show the hell up. It’s called integrity, okay? Hippofan knows what I’m talking about. / Photo via MMAJunkie)
Live round-by-round results for those fights will be located after the jump starting around 8 p.m. ET-ish. We’ll also post quick results from the supporting card beforehand. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and if you’re watching along with us on FOX Sports 1, use the comments section to let us know how you feel.
Quick results…
FOX SPORTS 1 MAIN CARD (7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT)
Glover Teixeira def. Ryan Bader via TKO, 2:55 of round 1
Ronaldo Souza def. Yushin Okami via TKO, 2:47 of round 1
Joseph Benavidez def. Jussier Formiga via TKO, 3:07 of round 1
Piotr Hallmann def. Francisco Trinaldo via submission (kimura), 3:50 of round 2
Rafael Natal def. Tor Troeng via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
Ali Bagautinov def. Marcos Vinicius via TKO, 3:28 of round 3
FOX SPORTS 1 PRELIMS
Kevin Souza def. Felipe Arantes via split-decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
Lucas Martins def. Ramiro “Junior” Hernandez via technical submission (rear-naked choke), 1:10 of round 1
Elias Silverio def. Joao Zeferino via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
Ivan Jorge def. Keith Wisniewski via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-27)
FACEBOOK PRELIM
Sean Spencer def. Yuri Villefort via split-decision (30-27, 28-29, 29-28)
Alright, let’s do this.
Joseph Benavidez vs. Jussier “Formiga” Da Silva
Round 1: Benavidez measures his distance with front kicks. Benavidez stalks forward and they clash with punches. Benavidez sticks and moves. Formiga trying to play the counter game, with limited success. Benavidez throws a body kick, Formiga fires a hard left hook. Benavidez with a left straight. He throws some punches at the air and fires a high kick that’s blocked. Front kick and punch from Joe. Formiga tries a turning side kick. Benavidez lands hard with a pair of punches and a knee to the body, and Formiga crumples to the mat. Benavidez drops some bombs from the top, and the ref stops it. Excellent performance from Joe B…he was the aggressor the whole time, and seized on the finish at his earliest opportunity.
Joseph Benavidez def. Jussier “Formiga” Da Silva via TKO, 3:07 of round 1.
Yushin Okami vs. Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza
Round 1: Okami pawing with the jab. Jacare flashes the front kick. Body kick from Jacare, who shoots to clinch afterwards. Okami shakes out, but Jacare lands a big punch that stuns Okami, then punishes Okami against the fence with a barrage of strikes. Okami looks to be in trouble, but he escapes and they return to the center of the cage. Jacare throws a big overhand right. Okami returns fire. Jacare throws the overhand right again and knocks Okami to the mat. Jacare fires down some nasty right hands from the top and the ref has seen enough. Man, did I pick the right fights to liveblog or what?
Jacare says an injury prevented him from doing his Jacare crawl. So you might as well just watch Jade Bryce do it.
Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza def. Yushin Okami via TKO, 2:47 of round 1.
Glover Teixeira vs. Ryan Bader
Round 1: Bader shoots for a single right away and Teixeira defends it. Bader tries for a guillotine on the mat when Teixeira engages in close. Teixeira defends. They get back to their feet and clinch against the fence. Teixeira considers a guillotine of his own. They separate. Bader fires off some punches, and a high kick as Teixeira tries to close distance on him. Teixeira slips to the mat (or is he staggered?) after Bader launches a punch volley at him. Teixeira gets to his feet but he looks shaky as Bader continues his striking attack. But then Teixeira catches Bader on the chin with a right straight/left hook combo and Bader falls to the mat! Teixeira follows it up with punches from the top and it’s all over. Damn…all three fights ended the exact same way.
Glover Teixeira def. Ryan Bader via TKO, 2:55 of round 1.
“I’m telling you, this belt is gonna be mine,” Glover says. “It doesn’t matter if it’s Jon Jones or Gustafsson, it’s gonna be mine.” He admits to being knocked down by Bader, and says it was due to being overconfident.
Did that performance change your opinion of Teixeira in any way? Is he a future title threat or not? Let us know in the comments, and enjoy the rest of your night…
