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Wow, what a nice lady! Five days later, that tweet was followed by this:
Before all the die-hard Jennito fans (?) start mourning the demise of their favorite celebrity couple (??), keep in mind that they also pulled this shit last year, and spent a …
Wow, what a nice lady! Five days later, that tweet was followed by this:
Before all the die-hard Jennito fans (?) start mourning the demise of their favorite celebrity couple (??), keep in mind that they also pulled this shit last year, and spent a good chunk of 2010 accusing each other of assault and drug abuse. Anyway. Stay strong, you two.
(This fan-made hype video was first posted to YouTube on September 30th. Wow. CletusDamVan must have read The Secret.)
Ugh, you guys, I had the worst dream last night. I was at home, but it was actually the house I grew up in, you know? I was watching TV, and suddenly all the lights went out. Dana White walked in through the back door. He told me — and here’s the freaky part — that Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen would be coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter, and they’d actually be fighting for the light-heavyweight belt in April. I was like, “Why? Why are you doing this?” And he said, “Because I fucking hate you.” And when he said that, I realized it wasn’t Dana White, it was my own father. Then, my teeth started cracking and falling out one by one, and-OH MY GOD NO! AHHHHHHHH! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! [scene]
Look, we’re not alone in our utter distaste for this booking. Elsewhere on the Internet, pundits have called Jones vs. Sonnen (vs. TUF) a thinly-veiled money grab that reeks of desperation and sets a horrible precedent. But this matchup is now our reality, and we have to deal with reality on reality’s terms. Here’s a sample of the fallout and news updates that yesterday’s bombshell kicked up:
– Tweet of the Day, from Dan Henderson: “I guess I should just quit training to win fights and to be exciting for the fans and just go to shit talking school. @danawhite”. Dan and Chael might be bros from way back, but that clearly doesn’t make this news any easier for Hendo to swallow. It’s insulting, really. Henderson is still the most rightful challenger to Jones’s belt, but an ill-timed injury has apparently put him on the UFC’s “pay no mind” list. Don’t make us say it.
– More sour grapes: Of course, Sonnen’s new opportunity now leaves Forrest Griffin without an opponent; FoGriff was originally supposed to meet Sonnen at UFC 155 in December. As you can imagine, Griffin doesn’t seem too thrilled about this latest development either, telling Ariel Helwani, “I’m not mad at him. Why fight your way to the top when you can talk your way to the top? I’m actually happy I’m not fighting him anymore, because watching his fights was boring and tedious.” The hot new rumor is that Griffin could possibly face the recently-wrecked Stephan Bonnar instead. Fine, whatever.
– And now, the Chael Sonnen reaction video you’ve all been waiting for/dreading…
(This fan-made hype video was first posted to YouTube on September 30th. Wow. CletusDamVan must have read The Secret.)
Ugh, you guys, I had the worst dream last night. I was at home, but it was actually the house I grew up in, you know? I was watching TV, and suddenly all the lights went out. Dana White walked in through the back door. He told me — and here’s the freaky part — that Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen would be coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter, and they’d actually be fighting for the light-heavyweight belt in April. I was like, “Why? Why are you doing this?” And he said, “Because I fucking hate you.” And when he said that, I realized it wasn’t Dana White, it was my own father. Then, my teeth started cracking and falling out one by one, and-OH MY GOD NO! AHHHHHHHH! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! [scene]
Look, we’re not alone in our utter distaste for this booking. Elsewhere on the Internet, pundits have called Jones vs. Sonnen (vs. TUF) a thinly-veiled money grab that reeks of desperation and sets a horrible precedent. But this matchup is now our reality, and we have to deal with reality on reality’s terms. Here’s a sample of the fallout and news updates that yesterday’s bombshell kicked up:
– Tweet of the Day, from Dan Henderson: “I guess I should just quit training to win fights and to be exciting for the fans and just go to shit talking school. @danawhite”. Dan and Chael might be bros from way back, but that clearly doesn’t make this news any easier for Hendo to swallow. It’s insulting, really. Henderson is still the most rightful challenger to Jones’s belt, but an ill-timed injury has apparently put him on the UFC’s “pay no mind” list. Don’t make us say it.
– More sour grapes: Of course, Sonnen’s new opportunity now leaves Forrest Griffin without an opponent; FoGriff was originally supposed to meet Sonnen at UFC 155 in December. As you can imagine, Griffin doesn’t seem too thrilled about this latest development either, telling Ariel Helwani, “I’m not mad at him. Why fight your way to the top when you can talk your way to the top? I’m actually happy I’m not fighting him anymore, because watching his fights was boring and tedious.” The hot new rumor is that Griffin could possibly face the recently-wrecked Stephan Bonnar instead. Fine, whatever.
– And now, the Chael Sonnen reaction video you’ve all been waiting for/dreading…
(Props: fueltv)
“This show has some tremendous young talent on it. I will be taking 50 percent of that talent and teaching them how to fight. The other half is going to be taught how to be selfish, entitled brats by Jones. The good news is that when it is all over, I’m sure Coach Jones will throw a hell of an afterparty…I did everything I could to warn this guy. [I told him] ‘Hey Jon, I’m coming to the division which puts you on notice to pack your bags and get put of there.’ He was talking about going to heavyweight and he should have done it. The bottom line is, he waited too long and now the man has arrived…I got the biggest arm, I got the greatest charm, and I do the most harm. I’m better than Jon Jones, I’m better than Sean Combs, and I’m even better than John Holmes.”
– The injury angle: So why is Jon Jones — a guy who was previously known for his fight frequency — now content to be sidelined until April 27th in order to play the straight man on a flailing reality show? Blame Vitor Belfort’s “nearacle” armbar, which caused a strained elbow ligament in Jones’s right arm that will require him to undergo physical therapy to rehab it. In other words, Jones wasn’t going to jump directly back in the cage anyway. When you consider that fact, the decision begins to make a lot more sense from the champ’s perspective: Keep yourself in the public’s eye through TUF, then take a squash match against a natural middleweight as your post-injury tune-up fight.
– Discussion topic #1: Will Jones and Sonnen both make it to their April 27th fight date intact, or will one be struck down by the TUF Coaches Curse?
– Discussion topic #2: “Lesnar couldn’t move the needle for TUF on Spike and some of you think Sonnen will do it on FX. Some of you don’t get reality.”
(Sorry guys, but this shitty Photoshop is as close as we’ll get to seeing these two face off. / Image via MMAMania)
Considering how many times Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have told us that they’ll never fight each other, most reasonable people would have given up hope on that particular fantasy-match by now. Of course, UFC president Dana White is not exactly known for being reasonable. Asked by a fan on Twitter yesterday if Jones vs. Silva would ever happen, Dana replied “it will.”
That simple phrase — seemingly based on nothing other than his own desire to promote the fight, and his long-standing belief that any fighter can be convinced to do anything if you put enough money in front of them — resulted in a predictable firestorm on twitter. There were the gullible UFC-marks who expressed their excitement for the match as if it was already booked, and the detractors who questioned if Dana could actually put it together.
Props to Reddit/MMA for capturing part of the ensuing tantrum…
(Sorry guys, but this shitty Photoshop is as close as we’ll get to seeing these two face off. / Image via MMAMania)
Considering how many times Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have told us that they’ll never fight each other, most reasonable people would have given up hope on that particular fantasy-match by now. Of course, UFC president Dana White is not exactly known for being reasonable. Asked by a fan on Twitter yesterday if Jones vs. Silva would ever happen, Dana replied “it will.”
That simple phrase — seemingly based on nothing other than his own desire to promote the fight, and his long-standing belief that any fighter can be convinced to do anything if you put enough money in front of them — resulted in a predictable firestorm on twitter. There were the gullible UFC-marks who expressed their excitement for the match as if it was already booked, and the detractors who questioned if Dana could actually put it together.
Props to Reddit/MMA for capturing part of the ensuing tantrum…
Once again: If you doubt anything Dana says, you can pretty much eat a dick, even if you’re a paying customer. And how do you think Jones and Silva would feel if they heard White making promises about their careers that completely contradict their wishes? Can the UFC really force them to fight? It’s stuff like this that makes me sympathize with Bones’s “piece of meat” comment. Treating employees like they’re your property is a pretty reliable way to ensure that they won’t remain loyal to you.
(Too. Damn. Talented.)
By: Jason Moles
I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.
Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.
Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*
Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.
Leonard Garcia: God help him.
Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.
(Too. Damn. Talented.)
By: Jason Moles
I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.
Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.
Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*
Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.
Leonard Garcia: God help him.
Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.
Nate Diaz: Championship is possible.
Nick Diaz: Public relations nightmare.
Anderson “The Spider” Silva: Greatest fighter ever.
Chael Sonnen: Milking his schtick.
Brian Stann: Tough but limited.
“Big Country” Roy Nelson: Needs Mike Dolce.
Rich “Ace” Franklin: Lifetime company man.
“The Axe Murderer” Wanderlei Silva: Should retire soon.
Benson “Smooth” Henderson: Still question power.
Clay “The Carpenter” Guida: Seemingly no plan.
Shane Carwin: Age now issue.
Frank Mir: Another convenient injury.
Forrest Griffin: Chin erosion continues
Josh Koscheck: Still a d*ck.
Michael “The Count” Bisping: Continually underrated talent
“The American Psycho” Stephan Bonnar: Don’t count out.
“The Natural Born Killer” Carlos Condit: Don’t count on.
Pat “HD” Barry: Next stop, Strikeforce.
Georges “Rush” St.Pierre: Per for mance.
* I will never concede that Matt Hamill “won” that fight. That was a garbage-ass call.
When UFC president Dana White announced Tuesday that Jose Aldo and Quinton Jackson had been forced out of their respective UFC 153 bouts against Frankie Edgar and Glover Teixeira, few could have anticipated it would lead to a new main event between mid…
When UFC president Dana White announced Tuesday that Jose Aldo and Quinton Jackson had been forced out of their respective UFC 153 bouts against Frankie Edgar and Glover Teixeira, few could have anticipated it would lead to a new main event between middleweight champion Anderson Silva and veteran light heavyweight Stephan Bonnar. However, as reported […]
(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.)
In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.
In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.
Well, my friends, Dana White just dropped a bombshell on Twitter, and not even Sly Stallone can get us out of this tunnel:
Rampage is hurt and out of UFC 153 RIO. SUCKS!!!!!!
You can almost feel the apathy in White’s tweet.
Ariel Helwani confirmed that Jackson suffered an elbow injury, and that the UFC is currently looking for a replacement opponent for Teixeira.
We will keep you informed as things transpire.
(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.)
In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.
In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.
Well, my friends, Dana White just dropped a bombshell on Twitter, and not even Sly Stallone can get us out of this tunnel:
Rampage is hurt and out of UFC 153 RIO. SUCKS!!!!!!
You can almost feel the apathy in White’s tweet.
Ariel Helwani confirmed that Jackson suffered an elbow injury, and that the UFC is currently looking for a replacement opponent for Teixeira.
We will keep you informed as things transpire.
