If anyone is foolish enough to try to heckle MMA stars, then they’d best prepare themselves to be on the receiving end of a verbal beatdown – if not worse. The trash-talkers in this article discovered the hard way! Chael Sonnen vs. Regional Fighter At a Q&A session during the UFC Fan Expo in 2013, […]
If anyone is foolish enough to try to heckle MMA stars, then they’d best prepare themselves to be on the receiving end of a verbal beatdown – if not worse.
The trash-talkers in this article discovered the hard way!
Chael Sonnen vs. Regional Fighter
At a Q&A session during the UFC Fan Expo in 2013, Chael Sonnen found himself coming under fire from a regional fighter called Bill Smallwood, who apparently had a chip on his shoulder.
“I’m trying to figure out why people are asking your opinion when you haven’t had your hand raised in two years?” Smallwood said after queuing up to ask Sonnen a question.
As Smallwood continued to ramble on about ‘real talk,’ the state of Oklahoma, and fighters from that area who deserved a title shot more than him, Sonnen finally lost his patience and began to fire back with both barrels.
“Spit it out brother, you’re putting everybody to sleep, man, and I’m about to come over there and whip your *** in a second just to give people something to look at!” Sonnen bellowed at him.
“Here’s real talk dummy. If you don’t get to the end of the line, I’m going to come down there and warm up on you before I talk care of LeBron [James] later tonight, so take those stupid sunglasses off your head, because we’re in a dark room, dummy!”
Smallwood was running out of material fast but kept going anyway.
“I sell *** whoopings, son, not memberships,” he retorted.
“You don’t sell anything, stupid,” Sonnen informed him. “You sell ***-whippings? What is your name again? Who are you?”
Smallwood didn’t respond to that, perhaps because no one had a clue who he was, and the reality was that he only had a 2-3 record in MMA at the time (a record that several years later now stands at just 4-7).
“Tell my room of fans what real talk means,” Sonnen mocked him to cheers and applause from the crowd. “Beat it!”
Of all the ways to lose in the UFC Octagon, one of the rarest and indeed most embarrassing is when a fighter somehow manages to knock themselves out. Given all the preparation that goes into getting ready for a fight, from the grueling grind of cardio workouts, the endless rounds of sparring, the hours spent
Of all the ways to lose in the UFC Octagon, one of the rarest and indeed most embarrassing is when a fighter somehow manages to knock themselves out.
Given all the preparation that goes into getting ready for a fight, from the grueling grind of cardio workouts, the endless rounds of sparring, the hours spent carefully crafting a gameplan for an opponent, and the sleepless nights spent envisioning all the possible ways the fight could play out, it must be a particularly bitter pill to swallow to know that, in the end, they themselves inadvertently proved to be their own worst enemies.
In this article we’ll take a look back at several classic examples of these freak occurrences in the UFC over the years, including instances where the fighter didn’t even make it to the octagon before delivering the knockout blow that would take them out of the fight.
Though the main card was high-quality in terms of entertainment value, the prelims were a dull affair. The two highlights: Ben Wall walking out dressed like a furry before getting KO’d in under a minute, and a great scrap between Nam Phan and Takeya Mizugaki that saw the latter’s hand raised via unanimous decision.
The main card started with one of the most technical, evenly matched women’s fights the UFC has ever had. Longtime fighter Julie Kedzie met newcomer Bethe Correia. Too bad that FOX Sports 1 blacked out for many viewers, cutting off the first half of the contest. Furthermore, Greg Jackson’s Matt Serra-level shouting eclipsed some of the action. It’s hard to appreciate what’s going on when all you can hear is Jackson screaming about how amazing a mediocre combo was in order to sway the inept judges.
Dylan Andrews and Clint Hester met next. It looked like they weren’t going to continue the card’s momentum, but they pulled through. The bout had spurts of inactivity, but for every dragged-out clinch or half-guard hangout session, there was at least one fiery exchange or big hit. The fight was stopped in between the second and third rounds on account of a shoulder injury, giving Hester the victory.
Check out the results of the co-main event, main event, and for the TL;DR rundown of the card after the jump.
(Mark Hunt is an artist…who only paints in red. / Photo via Getty)
Though the main card was high-quality in terms of entertainment value, the prelims were a dull affair. The two highlights: Ben Wall walking out dressed like a furry before getting KO’d in under a minute, and a great scrap between Nam Phan and Takeya Mizugaki that saw the latter’s hand raised via unanimous decision.
The main card started with one of the most technical, evenly matched women’s fights the UFC has ever had. Longtime fighter Julie Kedzie met newcomer Bethe Correia. Too bad that FOX Sports 1 blacked out for many viewers, cutting off an early portion of the contest. Furthermore, Greg Jackson’s Matt Serra-level shouting eclipsed some of the action. It’s hard to appreciate what’s going on when all you can hear is Jackson screaming about how amazing a mediocre combo was in order to sway the inept judges. It didn’t work though; Correia took home a split decision victory.
Dylan Andrews and Clint Hester met next. It looked like they weren’t going to continue the card’s momentum, but they pulled through. The bout had spurts of inactivity, but for every dragged-out clinch or half-guard hangout session, there was at least one fiery exchange or big hit. The fight was stopped in between the second and third rounds on account of an Andrews shoulder injury, giving Hester the victory.
The next fight was short and sweet; Soa Palelei came, saw, and conquered Pat Barry‘s consciousness. After shrugging off Palelei’s first takedown, Barry couldn’t duplicate his success. The Australian threw Barry to the mat, passed into mount, and turned off Barry’s brain with a barrage of punches. It was all over in 2:09.
Ryan Bader vs. Anthony Perosh was the first lackluster fight of the night. What was expected to be a squash match for Bader turned into a 15-minute grind fest. Bader earned a unanimous decision victory. There’s not much else to say about it. The fight happened and will be forgotten by tomorrow morning. Let’s move on.
Next up was the co-main event: James Te Huna vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. The “Pride never die” slogan proved true in this fight. Rua lawn chair’d him. The knockout was so impressive Dana White called it “KO of the century” (though Chris Weidman might disagree with that assessment).
Mark Hunt vs. Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva met in the night’s main event and produced the magic that the UFC has been lacking for some time. “Warriors” is thrown around way too much, but the two were warriors. By the end of the 25-minutes, both men were lathered in each other’s blood. Hunt-Silva was a fight were martial artistry erupted into bar-brawling and then reverted back again. Even though it ended in a draw—typically a result that pleases nobody—it wasn’t a mood-killer. We get to see that fight happen again, and we’re pumped for it. There aren’t enough hyperboles to explain how great it was. Watch it. You won’t regret it.
TL;DR: The card was worth the time it took to watch. The fights were competitive and the fighters involved mattered—two traits that are becoming rarer as the UFC holds more and more shows.
Complete Results:
Main Card
Mark Hunt vs. Antonio Silva, majority draw (48-47, 47-47, 47-47)
Mauricio Rua def. James Te Huna via KO (punches), 1:03 of Round 1
Ryan Bader def. Anthony Perosh via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-26)
Soa Palelei def. Pat Barry via KO (punches), 2:09 of Round 1
Clint Hester def. Dylan Andrews via TKO (doctor stoppage), 5:00 of Round 2
Bethe Correia def. Julie Kedzie via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Preliminary Card
Takeya Mizugaki def. Nam Phan via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-28)
Caio Magalhaes def. Nick Ring via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Justin Scoggins def. Richie Vaculik via TKO (punches), 4:59 of Round 1
Krzysztof Jotko def. Bruno Santos via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-27)
Alex Garcia def. Ben Wall via KO (punches), 0:43 of Round 1
(Rugby: You’re doing it wrong. I think. To be honest, I’m not 100% sure what rugby’s supposed to look like. / Photo via Getty)
The UFC lands in Brisbane tonight for UFC Fight Night 33, and for a free card overseas, this thing is kind of loaded. In the main event, heavyweight contenders Mark Hunt and Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva slug it out in a match that is scheduled for five rounds but probably won’t last that long. Also on the card, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua‘s continued status as an active UFC light-heavyweight is on the line against New Zealand native James Te Huna, while Pat Barry and Ryan Bader attempt to bounce back from recent TKO losses against Soa Palelei and Anthony Perosh, respectively. Plus: Julie Kedzie will attempt to humiliate Bethe Correia as badly in the cage as she did during yesterday’s weigh-ins.
Our liveblog of the “Hunt vs. Bigfoot” FOX Sports 1 main card begins at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Get round-round results after the jump, refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section.
(Rugby: You’re doing it wrong. I think. To be honest, I’m not 100% sure what rugby’s supposed to look like. / Photo via Getty)
The UFC lands in Brisbane tonight for UFC Fight Night 33, and for a free card overseas, this thing is kind of loaded. In the main event, heavyweight contenders Mark Hunt and Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva slug it out in a match that is scheduled for five rounds but probably won’t last that long. Also on the card, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua‘s continued status as an active UFC light-heavyweight is on the line against New Zealand native James Te Huna, while Pat Barry and Ryan Bader attempt to bounce back from recent TKO losses against Soa Palelei and Anthony Perosh, respectively. Plus: Julie Kedzie will attempt to humiliate Bethe Correia as badly in the cage as she did during yesterday’s weigh-ins.
Our liveblog of the “Hunt vs. Bigfoot” FOX Sports 1 main card begins at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Get round-round results after the jump, refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section.
Preliminary Card Results
– Takeya Mizugaki def. Nam Phan via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-28)
– Caio Magalhaes def. Nick Ring via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Justin Scoggins def. Richie Vaculik via TKO, 4:43 of round 1
– Krzysztof Jotko def. Bruno Santos via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-27)
– Alex Garcia def. Ben Wall via KO, 0:43 of round 1
Hey folks, BG here. It’s 9 p.m., and I’m just waiting for this Arizona State vs. DePaul game to finish up so the UFC broadcast can start. Apparently, it’ll be running on something called a “FOX Sports Too” until then, but I don’t have that goddamned channel, and I don’t think any of my neighbors do either, so I guess I’ll be liveblogging college hoops for a while. Luckily, the first 20 minutes of any free UFC card are dominated by commercials. I think we’ll be alright.
It’s 9:03. I just saw about seven seconds of Julie Kedzie and Bethe Correia shadowboxing at the camera backstage before the screen went black. Huh.
9:13. At least I ordered pizza and wings, so the night’s not a total loss. And I’ve got twitter to entertain me. Poor Julie Kedzie, though, this sucks for her.
9:18, and Fox Sports 1 finally gets its shit together, midway through round 2. Alright, Kedzie and Correia are slugging, and Greg Jackson goes “WOWWWWWW!” Spinning shit is being thrown, my friends. We’ll start the official liveblog in round 3. Both of these fighters have nice, thick legs, and that’s something I would totally mention even if they were men.
Round 3: Correia lands a straight right. She tries a leg kick and eats a counter-right from Kedzie. Correia attacking with long hooks. Kedzie throwing out kicks without much success. Correia lands a hook while flailing some punches. Her punches are still looking sharp in the third round. Hook/cross from Correia. Correia snatches up a body kick from Kedzie and bulls her to the mat. Correia shoves Kedzie to the cage and tries to work to back control, but Kedzie reverses and escapes to her feet. Kedzie fires a wheel-kick. Is Greg Jackson yelling “JUST KIDDING” over and over again for some reason? Correia rushes forward with punches. Correia with another hook. Kedzie lands a side kick and they brawl to the bell. Like I said, I missed most of the first two rounds, but Correia looked damn good in the third.
Bethe Correia def. Julie Kedzie via split-decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29). Kedzie has lost her fourth consecutive fight. She was 0-2 in Strikeforce, and now she’s 0-2 in the UFC.
Dylan Andrews vs. Clint Hester
FYI, these guys were on TUF 17 together.
Round 1: Andrews marching forward, Hester sticking and moving with leg kicks. Hester wobbles Andrews right away with a stiff right hand. Hester clinches up and fires a knee to the body. Andrews scores a nice body-lock takedown and lands in half-guard. Andrews isn’t doing much from the top. He tries to trap Hester’s arm, but can’t do it. Hester tries to work to his feet and Andrews goes for a guillotine. Hester slips out and establishes top position. Another stalemate on the ground. Andrews gets to his feet, then briefly dumps Hester to the mat. Hester gets up, Andrews puts him right back down. Andrews hangs out in side control until the round ends.
Round 2: They trade leg kicks. Hester whiffs a big left hand and Andrews grabs him, but can’t convert the takedown. Hester with a right, Andrews returns a big right hand of his own. Hester rushes forward and drives Andrews to the mat. Hester with a few decent shots from the top, working Andrews to the body with punches. Hard elbows now. Andrews trying to lock Hester down, stalling him, and the crowd boos. Andrews is bleeding badly from his forehead. Andrews gets to his feet and Hester tees off on him. Andrews escapes danger. Hester pops the jab, Andrews returns fire. Hester gets his leg kicked out from under him, but he pops right back up. Leg kick Hester. There’s something wrong with Andrews’s right hand/arm…he’s holding it almost at his waist. There’s the bell. Clear 10-9 for Hester.
And it is all over. Andrews suffered a shoulder dislocation and can’t answer the bell. Hester goes over to him and they embrace as friends. With his one arm that still works, Andrews raises Hester’s arm.
Clint Hester def. Dylan Andrews via TKO (injury/doctor’s stoppage), 5:00 of round 2.
In the replay, we see the moment where Andrews’s shoulder fell apart. Basically, he just missed a punch and his arm swung out of it’s socket. One in a million shot, doc.
Jesus Christ. I feel like I’ve been watching UFC 168 promos for the last eight minutes, and they’re all fucking awful. Yes, yes, Andy, you back. Trust you. You back.
Pat Barry vs. Soa Palelei
My parlay bet begins…now.
Round 1: Palelei pushes Barry into the fence but Barry circles out. Barry whiffs some hard roundhouses. Palelei catches a knee from Barry and takes him to the mat. Off his back, Barry actually looks for an armlock. Wouldn’t that be something? Palelei escapes it and throws a few punches to Barry’s midsection from half-guard. Palelei jumps to mount. Oh boy, this ain’t good. After just a few punches from the top, Barry is totally unconscious. Don’t let a 265-pound man do that to you, bro.
Soa Palelei def. Pat Barry via KO, 2:09 of round 1. Barry’s face looks like he fell off a motorcycle or something. Jesus. Palelei only hit him like five times. Poor dude. Pat’s UFC record just dropped to 5-7, all losses by stoppage.
Ryan Bader vs. Anthony Perosh
Anthony Perosh is 41 years old, you guys. 41. Bader’s got a nice playoff-beard going.
Round 1: Bader takes the center of the cage. Perosh lands a wide hook. Bader grabs a clinch and whips in some uppercuts. Perosh falls to the ground and he looks to be in trouble as Bader pours it on, but Perosh gets to his feet. Bader lands another big uppercut and Perosh is on his heels. But Perosh collects himself and brushes Bader back with a big right hand of his own. Perosh rushes forward and essentially falls on his face. Bader gets on top and slugs down on Perosh. Perosh rolls to his knees, Bader sticks on him. Perosh gets to his feet. The box for a bit, and then Bader grabs Perosh against the fence and takes him down. Big elbow from Bader. Perosh is split open. Bader is briefly kicked off, but then jumps back on with a “Shogun punch,” as Jon Anik says. Bader with a little more GnP as the round ends. Easy 10-9 for Bader.
Round 2: Perosh dashes forward with punches, then follows it up with a leg kick. Bader drags Perosh down and works some knees to the body on the mat. Gnarly elbow from Bader. And some more short elbows. Perosh trying to find a way up, Bader just burying him with strikes. Perosh is totally stuck. Every time Perosh tries to kick Bader off, Bader dives right back in and punches him in the face. More hard elbows. And more, and more, and more. 10-9, bordering on 10-8 for the fact that Perosh did nothing except endure abuse.
Round 3: Bader wants to finish this thing. He swings some nasty left hooks, hard and reckless. At his earliest opportunity, he scores a takedown and puts Perosh right back against the fence. Bader, with those damn elbows. Perosh rolls, desperately. Bader slugs him in the face. Perosh briefly gets to his feet, Bader dumps him right back down and goes apeshit, looking for the stoppage. Perosh is too tough for his own good. He gets up again, Bader drags him back down. Bader’s arm is drenched in Bader’s blood. The entire mat is, actually. 30 seconds left. Bader punching and punching. There’s the last bell. Well, it’s a win, though I’m sure Bader is disappointed that he couldn’t stop an opponent who had nothing for him.
Ryan Bader def. Anthony Perosh via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 30-26). Bader says he hurt his hand in the first round, and Perosh is super tough, etc. By the way, the judges need to start handing out more 10-8′s. That last round was a mauling.
Mauricio Rua vs. James Te Huna
Round 1: Shogun comes forward swinging. He tries a leg kick. Te Huna comes in for a takedown, and Shogun tosses him to the side. Te Huna scrambles back to his feet, and covers up as Shogun swings on him. Te Huna misses a left hook but Shogun lands one of his own and Te Huna goes down, KO’d. He was stiff before he even hit the mat. Well damn, there goes my parlay. It was going so well, too.
Mauricio Rua def. James Te Huna via KO, 1:03 of round 1. Check out the GIF of the stoppage right here. Gnarly stuff. But is Shogun really “back”? Do we have to say that every time he wins a fight now?
They’re replaying Mizugaki vs. Phan from the prelims. I hear it was a good one. I’m just gonna enjoy it like a civilian.
This is a great fight, but I’m constantly checking my phone anyway. Blame it on my ADD.
Mark Hunt vs. Antonio Silva
All of Bigfoot’s cornermen are texting during the intros. Or Vine-ing. Or some shit. Just put away your damn phones, guys. Silva is booed. Hunt is carrying Oceania on his back right now; it hasn’t gone too well for the home team tonight. Hunt walked out shirtless and has absolutely no sponsors on his trunks.
Round 1: Silva makes first contact with a side-kick to the leg. He tries a front kick. And another side-kick to the leg. Dude thinks he’s Jon Jones or something. Hunt fires a punch over Bigfoot’s head. Silva slips to the mat but pops right back up. Front kick Silva. Hunt engages with a hard punch combo but Silva drops him with counter punches! Silva jumps on but Hunt scrambles to his feet. Leg kick from Hunt. Front kick to the body and a punch from Bigfoot. Leg kick Hunt. Hunt dashes in with a right straight. Silva grabs him against the fence. Hunt reverses him. Knee to the body from Bigfoot. then a body kick from Silva. There’s the bell. 10-9 Bigfoot.
Round 2: Hunt runs forward with punches, Bigfoot evades. Silva with a leg kick that knocks Hunt off balance. Silva clinches up, Hunt shakes out. Low leg kick from Silva. Bigfoot tries a spinning back kick that misses by a mile. Hook and a cross to the body from Hunt. Silva goes high with a kick. Hunt brushes Silva back with a hard right hand. Hunt with an inside leg kick. Sharp body kick from Hunt. Silva tries a front kick to the body. Hunt stalking Silva down. A leg kick from Silva wobbles Hunt, who’s clearly hurt. Hunt switches stance to avoid more damage. Hunt is limping around in southpaw. The bell gives him a moment to recover. 10-9 Bigfoot.
Round 3: Hunt comes out with some urgency, swinging hard. Hunt flies forward with a punch into a takedown. Silva tries to get up, Hunt drags him down, Silva gets to his feet again and stays there. Silva clinches, pushes Hunt against the fence. Hunt escapes, Silva throws a head kick at him. Hunt with an uppercut and right straight. Hunt clinches with Bigfoot against the cage. Silva works some knees. They separate, Hunt lands a right hand, and another one that flattens Bigfoot! Hunt gets on top and starts firing down short elbows. Hunt in half-guard. Silva stuck on his back, Hunt with steady GnP. Hunt raises up and drops some big elbows as the third round ends. We are indeed going to the championship rounds, and Hunt has regained momentum. 10-9 Hunt.
Round 4 (come on): Bigfoot ain’t done yet. He’s throwing kicks like the last round never happened. Hunt grabs him and pushes him against the fence. Bigfoot rolls out and starts attacking with punches. Hunt takes him to the mat. Hunt returns to the elbow show. Bigfoot gets to his feet and both men are slugging now. Oh baby, it’s a heavyweight fight. Bigfoot pushes Hunt against the fence and tees off with punches and knees. Hunt is exhausted. He tries for a takedown and falls on his face. Bigfoot gets on top, Hunt swinging at him from his back. Talk about a gamer. Hunt tries to roll out, and Silva gets full mount. It’s Donkey Kong time. Hunt’s forehead is split open from the abuse, but it looks like he’ll hang on to the bell, and he does. My God. Somehow, we are going to round five, and that’s a good thing. 10-9 Bigfoot.
Round 5 (WTF??): Hunt swings a right haymaker, and lands a stiff one on Bigfoot’s chin. Hunt still has a chance as long as he’s standing. Left hook lands from Hunt. Bigfoot tries for a takedown and doesn’t get it. Hunt lands a sharp standing elbow, and another hook, and a right. Bigfoot’s got a chin on him, but he’s completely gassed, and his face is covered in blood. Hunt backs Silva against the fence and tears him up with punches. The ref pauses the fight and brings the doctor in to clear Silva’s face. It’s a break for Bigfoot, and the crowd boos it. Bigfoot storms back, throwing punches, clinching, trying to stay in it. Silva lands four punches in succession, and Hunt returns the favor. Knee from Bigfoot. Holy shit, what a brawl. Pace slowing in the last minute, but both men still working, firing punches. Hunt stuffs a right hand into Bigfoot’s face as the round ends. Jesus. Hunt did all he could. Maybe he would have won if this was scheduled for seven rounds, but the scores here will likely be in Silva’s favor. Fantastic show of heart from both men.
Mark Hunt and Antonio Silva ends in a majority draw (47-47 x 2, 48-47 Hunt). Whoa…I had Bigfoot winning rounds 1, 2, and 4. But if there’s ever a fight that deserved a draw out of principle, this was it. Bigfoot tells the crowd he injured his back recently, and they rightfully boo him for it. But anyway, good God, what a fight, and for once, the draw actually feels satisfying. I loved it. What did you guys think? And should Hunt and Silva do an immediate rematch?
That’s some hit, man. (I’m so sorry.) PicProps: Esther Lin / MMAFighting
So BG is gone this week, I assume to yet another wedding, because once he bought the tuxedo he was determined to get the mileage out of it. Seriously, he’s got the whole bit: natty little straight cane with the white tips, monocle, top hat, the whole nine. It’s dashing, but apparently it’s expensive as hell. That or he’s running some kind of scheme where he collects disposable cameras and plastic champagne flutes? What the fuck are you building in there, Goldstein?
So anyway, I’m poking around his office here at CP headquarters, kick over a box of CagePotato Hall of Fame t-shirts, and damn if i didn’t stumble over the ol’ arbitrariest of MMA supercomputers: the Potato Index.
Turns out it’s been hooked up this whole time, so I decided to pull up the numbers on UFC’s Fight Night 27, just for old times’ sake.
The Octagon Girls +16
The new Octagon Girls are lovely. Chrissy Blair is the archetypal California Girl; think Christie Brinkley in a Ferrari, but blonder. And the new brunette one getting tattoos exactly like Brittney Palmer’s was a nice touch.
Kansas City fighters + 42 Zak Cummings [+19] and Jason High [+23] both picked up their first UFC wins with good-looking performances. Jason High had previously lost to Erick Silva in June and Charlie Brennamen back in 2010, mostly because Joe Silva likes to call High on short notice for not-easy fights. The Kansas City Bandit gets a big bump with a quick win.
Abel Trujillo +11
Trujillo picks up the best kind of No Contest: the kind that comes from a foul that is both uber-agressive and debatable. Attacking grounded fighters with knees will always stir the passions; if Trujillo were a savvy marketer, he would start coming to the cage in a Hannibal mask and a straight jacket. A straight jacket covered in sponsor patches. Dana White would get a visible boner.
Roger Bowling -5
Unfortunately, according to (arbitrary) opinion, it’s better to take the loss in the cage and get the NC declared later. But enjoy your short-term memory and normal brain function. (Pussy.)
That’s some hit, man. (I’m so sorry.) PicProps: Esther Lin / MMAFighting
So BG is gone this week, I assume to yet another wedding, because once he bought the tuxedo he was determined to get the mileage out of it. Seriously, he’s got the whole bit: natty little straight cane with the white tips, monocle, top hat, the whole nine. It’s dashing, but apparently it’s expensive as hell. That or he’s running some kind of scheme where he collects disposable cameras and plastic champagne flutes? What the fuck are you building in there, Goldstein?
So anyway, I’m poking around his office here at CP headquarters, kick over a box of CagePotato Hall of Fame t-shirts, and damn if i didn’t stumble over the ol’ arbitrariest of MMA supercomputers: the Potato Index.
Turns out it’s been hooked up this whole time, so I decided to pull up the numbers on UFC’s Fight Night 27, just for old times’ sake.
The Octagon Girls +16
The new Octagon Girls are lovely. Chrissy Blair is the archetypal California Girl; think Christie Brinkley in a Ferrari, but blonder. And the new brunette one getting tattoos exactly like Brittney Palmer’s was a nice touch.
Kansas City fighters + 42 Zak Cummings [+19] and Jason High [+23] both picked up their first UFC wins with good-looking performances. Jason High had previously lost to Erick Silva in June and Charlie Brennamen back in 2010, mostly because Joe Silva likes to call High on short notice for not-easy fights. The Kansas City Bandit gets a big bump with a quick win.
Abel Trujillo +11
Trujillo picks up the best kind of No Contest: the kind that comes from a foul that is both uber-agressive and debatable. Attacking grounded fighters with knees will always stir the passions; if Trujillo were a savvy marketer, he would start coming to the cage in a Hannibal mask and a straight jacket. A straight jacket covered in sponsor patches. Dana White would get a visible boner.
Roger Bowling -5
Unfortunately, according to (arbitrary) opinion, it’s better to take the loss in the cage and get the NC declared later. But enjoy your short-term memory and normal brain function. (Pussy.)
Darren Elkins +14
Elkins survived a vicious body attack in the first and a dangerous grappling attack in the second and third. “Surviving” does not tend to lead to big gains in esteem, as witnessed by Elkins being bounced to the prelims despite a 7-2 UFC record, and minimal gains here.
Hatsu Hioki -27
Attacking Hatsu Hioki on the ground, with a leg lock, should be like picking a fight with Iron Man while wearing your own home-made power armor. But that’s exactly what happened, after Hioki had failed to put away a visibly hurt Elkins in the first round. Hioki is now 0-3 in the UFC, so don’t expect to see him before the organization returns to Japan.
Brandon Thatch +38
There’s a first appearance, and then there’s a debut. One you need to look up, and one just stands out. In 1 minute and 23 seconds of full-blown Tekken button-mashing mode, Thatch introduced himself to a whole bunch of new people.
Justin Edwards: -23
Poor Justin Edwards. Where previously he was always being mentally associated with this guy, now people are always going to mentally associate him with 82 seconds of gloriously violent interpretive dance. Expect Edwards to get another chance to redeem himself, but that’s a harsh beating to take.
TUF 18: Rousey vs Tate: +8
The latest incarnation of the Ultimate Fighter competition show continues to draw buzz with its first female inclusion, while Cat Zingano [-4] has been effectively forgotten. At least the UFC has a legitimate challenger after Tate suffers her second disarticulation loss.
Dylan Andrews: +18
Andrews looked to be losing a grappling match until he uncorked an economy three-pack of Aussie brand Uppercut that tucked Papy into Abedi in the third round. [Ed. note: The computer is unable -or unwilling – to apologize for this.] Carrying that kind of power late into the fight, even when injured, makes Andrews a scary opponent. Andrews lost points for calling his uppercut his “money shot”, because human fluids are disgusting.
Papy Abedi -11
Abedi kept his grappling attack entertaining, with some slick trips and a high-amplitude slam. His chin looks to be suspect, but that shouldn’t stop him from getting a call again, particularly when friend Alexander Gustafssen is on the card, or the UFC is visiting Europe.
Brad Tavares +17
Tavares showcased some powerful strikes without going complete Manhoef, possibly pacing himself for a tough fight. It was a good performance in that it showed potential, but it was outshone by a card packed with stoppages.
Bubba McDaniel -19
If your name is Robert, but everyone calls you “Bubba”, you have to be a tough SOB and you have fight to scare people [See also: “Tank”, “Barbie”]. McDaniel is not living up to expectations – late rally notwithstanding – and he’s only a couple of wins away from being “Rob”. If he taps to strikes he goes straight to “Bobby”.
Takeya Mizugaki +17
Mizugaki gets a bigger bump than the judges would indicate, with an intelligent performance that affirms his place in the bantamweight elite.
Erik Perez -6
No shame in a loss to Mizugaki, but it will slow the hype train. Perez stayed predictable enough for Mizugaki to counter sharply, and this should be an excellent learning opportunity for the 23 year old Perez.
Court McGee +5
Reports of McGee’s demise are greatly exaggerated. He is still very much alive and active, and earned a slim split decision in a very close fight. This fight is notable in that scores vary wildly from all sources, including the official judges, who scored the bout 30-27, 29-28, and 27-30. The notable aspect is that none of these official scores are indefensible. It is a curious, aberrational result that indicates a different scoring protocol should be investigated.
Robert Whittaker -5
Whittaker was on the losing end of a curious, aberrational result that indicates a different scoring protocol should be investigated, so now would be an opportune time for someone to approach him with a petition. The close result would seem to make the two interchangeable in the rankings for the near future.
Kevin Gastelum +36
Gastelum steps out at welterweight for the first time, and steps up on the Index with a convincing showing of boxing offense to augment his touted wrestling base.
Brian Melancon -21
Melancon was a late replacement for Paulo Thiago, which is enough to by him enough goodwill for another fight. That said, anybody at 170 pounds (always a packed division) that came from Strikeforce is on thin ice to begin with.
Rafael dos Anjos +34
Any winner over Cerrone puts the division on notice. A matchup against a convalescing T.J. Grant has been suggested, and seems entirely appropriate later this fall.
Donald Cerrone -16
Donald Cerrone has solidified his role the gate keeper at 155, which is not terrible by any stretch. He’s solidly in the Top 10, and he’s 584% more entertaining than a “You must be this _______ tall to fight the champ” sign.
Carlos Condit +37
A convincing win that completely erases any previous loss, Condit is riding high. Future Twitter fights or a well-phrased YouTube video could cause another slide on the Index, however. Like Cerrone, Condit is a perfectly-placed yardstick at 170 pounds — there doesn’t appear to be anyone not named St. Pierre* better than Condit.
Martin Kampmann -21
Look at Kampmann’s face when Dean waves the fight off. He’s not arguing, he’s bewildered – Kampmann’s just hoping someone got the license plate of that low-flying gang of ninja monkeys that just attacked him. (His face after the fight wasn’t much better.) Expect the Danish Hitman to come back with a vicious win after this, possibly rocking a different look going forward.
*Or Hendricks, as reader Scott Johnson rightly points out. Clearly, the Potato Index Super Computer IS BUGGY AFTER NOT BEING USED FOR SO LONG GAH. Asshole.
Every UFC main event has to be about something, and when there aren’t any titles on the line, things tend to get pretty creative. Leading up to the main event of the TUF 17 Finale, the talk surrounding the bout focused on the friendship between competitors Urijah Faber and Scott Jorgensen and how it may affect the bout. Whether the two were actually the close friends that the media made them out to be was completely irrelevant; which is good, because Jorgensen revealed during fight week that they weren’t.
What we were left with was a bout between the number two and number seven ranked bantamweights that played out as expected. This isn’t to say that the fight wasn’t entertaining (it was), but Jorgensen was outgunned early and often by Faber before “The California Kid” sank in the fight ending rear-naked choke in the fourth round. It was closer than the gambling odds indicated it would be, but not exactly a close fight, and though Jorgensen managed to mount some offense of his own, he never appeared to be any real threat to Faber.
The bantamweight division is very top-heavy, which perhaps more than anything explains why Urijah Faber is seemingly always one fight away from a title shot. The gap between the top five guys and the rest of the division is wider than most fans would care to acknowledge, and it showed last night. Still, I’d rather watch Urijah Faber fight Michael McDonald than watch him get crammed into yet another title fight. I doubt I’m in the minority here – at least among hardcore fans.
Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.
Every UFC main event has to be about something, and when there aren’t any titles on the line, things tend to get pretty creative. Leading up to the main event of the TUF 17 Finale, the talk surrounding the bout focused on the friendship between competitors Urijah Faber and Scott Jorgensen and how it may affect the bout. Whether the two were actually the close friends that the media made them out to be was completely irrelevant; which is good, because Jorgensen revealed during fight week that they weren’t.
What we were left with was a bout between the number two and number seven ranked bantamweights that played out as expected. This isn’t to say that the fight wasn’t entertaining (it was), but Jorgensen was outgunned early and often by Faber before “The California Kid” sank in the fight ending rear-naked choke in the fourth round. It was closer than the gambling odds indicated it would be, but not exactly a close fight, and though Jorgensen managed to mount some offense of his own, he never appeared to be any real threat to Faber.
The bantamweight division is very top-heavy, which perhaps more than anything explains why Urijah Faber is seemingly always one fight away from a title shot. The gap between the top five guys and the rest of the division is wider than most fans would care to acknowledge, and it showed last night. Still, I’d rather watch Urijah Faber fight Michael McDonald than watch him get crammed into yet another title fight. I doubt I’m in the minority here – at least among hardcore fans.
Of course, the “friendship” angle between Faber and Jorgensen wasn’t the only storyline from last night to abruptly fall apart. After Anik’s interview with Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen, it’s safe to say that any possibility of the UFC marketing these two guys as bitter rivals/sworn enemies/anything other than apathetic about fighting each other is off the table. Judging by the comments on last night’s liveblog, I may be the only person who actually enjoyed the segment, but I digress. Oh, one more obvious storyline fell apart last night, too.
Elsewhere on the card…
– Throughout this season of The Ultimate Fighter, it seemed obvious that Uriah Hall was destined for stardom. He steamrolled his way through his competition on the show, impressed us with flashy, Tekken-inspired kicks and appeared ready to make an immediate impact on the UFC middleweight division. On paper, Hall’s co-main event clash with Kelvin Gastelum for this season’s championship was strictly a formality, as Gastelum was no threat to actually win this fight, right?
Not quite. Gastelum surprised many – including Hall – by being more than willing to press the action against the feared striker, and earned takedowns throughout the course of the bout. Even though Hall managed to reverse some of Gastelum’s attempts, in the end Gastelum took the fight – and this season’s championship – by way of split decision.
Perhaps it’s fitting that the most interesting season of The Ultimate Fighter in recent memory ended with an underdog winning it all, but don’t be quick to dismiss Kelvin Gastelum. Gastelum may not have the resume that Hall has, but a good wrestler who doesn’t get gun-shy has unlimited upward mobility in the UFC. As the youngest TUF champion in the history of the show, Gastelum has the potential to make quite the impact on the middleweight division. Likewise, don’t give up on Uriah Hall just yet. The close loss may be a product of Hall having the Octagon jitters, something that happens to many fighters the first time they fight in the UFC. Time will tell how Hall bounces back from this defeat.
– The $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus rightfully went to Cat Zingano and Miesha Tate for their three round brawl. Although Zingano kept the bout close, Tate’s wrestling earned her the edge on the judge’s scorecards heading into the third round. However, Zingano was in complete control in the third round, earning a takedown and landing strikes at will against Tate. After catching Tate with a knee during a scramble, Zingano kept swinging until Kim Winslow stopped the bout. Cat Zingano earned a coaching slot on The Ultimate Fighter 18 alongside Ronda Rousey – as well as a title shot at the end of the season – with the victory.
Fights are virtually guaranteed to end in controversy whenever Kim Winslow is in the cage, and this fight proved to be no exception. After the event, Miesha Tate expressed her anger over the stoppage, claiming that Winslow waived things off too soon. “She told me, ‘Show me something,’” said Tate. “I don’t know what you want. I sat up, I shot a double, I got back to my feet. I took some damage because of that, because I was trying to listen to the referee, and she fucking stopped the fight.” Despite Tate’s argument that the stoppage was early (for what it’s worth, I didn’t think it was), it was a great fight that further demonstrated why women belong in the UFC.
– Travis Browne is certainly one of the most creative strikers in the UFC, but I know I can’t be the only person who thought “not this again” when he started his bout against Gabriel Gonzaga with a wild high kick that completely missed its target. Throughout the next minute of the fight, it was obvious that Gonzaga wanted nothing to do with Browne’s striking. During the last six seconds of the fight, it was obvious why. Despite Gonzaga’s best efforts to neutralize Browne’s dynamic stand-up, Browne only needed a few standing hellbows to shut out Napao’s lights, earning himself the $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus.
– If you didn’t like watching Bubba McDaniel thoroughly outclass Gilbert Smith on his way to a third round triangle choke victory, you’ll possibly take comfort in knowing that he didn’t win the $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus for his efforts. Instead, the honor went to Daniel Pineda, who kicked off the card with a first round victory by kimura over Justin Lawrence.
– As for the $25,000 End of the Season awards, Fight of the Season went to Dylan Andrews and Luke Barnatt for their back-and-forth quarterfinal fight that Andrews eventually won by TKO, Submission of the Season went to Kelvin Gastelum for his rear-naked choke victory over Josh Samman during the semifinals, and I think it’s pretty obvious who took home Knockout of the Season.
Full Results:
Main Card:
Urijah Faber def. Scott Jorgensen via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:16 of Round Four
Kelvin Gastelum def. Uriah Hall via Split-Decision
Cat Zingano def. Miesha Tate via TKO (knees & elbow), 2:55 of Round Three
Travis Browne def. Gabriel Gonzaga via KO (elbows), 1:11 of Round One
Bubba McDaniel def. Gilbert Smith via submission (triangle choke), 2:49 of Round Three
Preliminary card:
Josh Samman def. Kevin Casey via TKO (knees), 2:17 of Round Two
Luke Barnatt def. Collin Hart via Unanimous Decision
Dylan Andrews def. Jimmy Quinlan via TKO (punches), 3:22 of Round One
Clint Hester def. Bristol Marunde via KO (elbow), 3:53 of Round Three
Cole Miller def. Bart Palaszewski via submission (rear-naked choke), 4:23 of Round One
Maximo Blanco def. Sam Sicilia via Unanimous Decision
Daniel Pineda def. Justin Lawrence via submission (kimura), 1:35 of Round One
