Tag: WTF

TUF or WTF?: A Season-by-Season Retrospective of The Ultimate Fighter


(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.


(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.

Season 2 

Season 2 saw Rich Franklin coach opposite Matt Hughes, and since both men competed at different weight classes, they were obviously not going to fight at the conclusion of the season. This was a prime example of the UFC throwing shit against the wall to see if it would stick by parading two somewhat charismatic champions in front of the camera with hopes of gathering ratings/fans for the upcoming UFC 56 PPV. Although it was undoubtedly a less thrilling season than that of its predecessor, it did introduce to another future light heavyweight champion in Rashad Evans, who won the contract competing as a heavyweight, as well as such names as Joe Stevenson, Melvin Guillard, and future pound-for-pound punching bag GOAT Keith Jardine. And if not for Jardine, the worldmay have never learned that “The Dean of Mean” would make no sense if his last name was Johnson, a valuable take home indeed.

Season 3 

Season 3 is one of my personal favorites because of the preconceived notions about coaches: Tito Ortiz and Ken Shamrock. Tito was working the crap out of “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” gimmick and wore the black hat pretty damn well even though he desperately wanted to be accepted by everyone. On the other hand, Shamrock was the MMA legend who competed in the very first UFC tournament and was the founder of his own training facility – The Lion’s Den. Shamrock was supposed to be the more seasoned coach, but chose to bring in weight lifting specialists and opted to rewatch videos of his UFC fights instead of training during an infamous episode, among other baffling decisions. Tito, conversely, came across as a guy that was genuinely committed to making his team better fighters through technique (believe it or not) and some crazy conditioning drills involving piggyback rides and vacant floors of Las Vegas hotels. In the end, Tito TKO’d Ken in just over a minute and Michael Bisping began his quest to piss off everybody around the world en route to winning the LHW contract.

Season 4 – The Comeback

Season 4 came upon us with the familiar sound of a giant turd smacking against a cinder block divider. Luckily for the UFC, a Ram-Manesque New Yorker with a perfectly timed overhand right came along and the dookie kind of stuck. I am not exactly sure who came up with the idea of bringing back washed up fighters mixed with a few coulda-shoulda guys coupled with a blend of has-beens and never-weres, but I am certain it must have sounded phenomenal during the pitch meeting.  This was the only other season that featured an abundance of talent (albeit fleeting talent) like the first season. Shonie Carter, Patrick Côté, Matt Serra, Travis Lutter, Jorge Rivera, Pete Sell, *cough convicted rapist *cough* Jeremy Jackson, Scott Smith, Din Thomas, Mikey Burnett, and (everybody’s favorite) Chris Lytle. All of these guys were waaaaaay professional for any of the usual drama to become too much of an issue, aside from Shonie’s batshit craziness, that is. There were no head coaches but instead guest coaches, and all the fighters shared instructors Mark DellaGrotte as their striking guru and Marc Laimon as the perceived submission specialist. Season highlights include a goggled Burnett self-concussing himself while running through some sheet rock (forgetting that code requires studs every 16 inches), Serra calling Laimon a pussy for never stepping into the real world of fighting and of course . . . . . this.  After the season there would be a fundamental plummet to mediocrity.

Season 5, or, the Aforementioned Plummet to Mediocrity

Season 5 was back to a basic grudge match between BJ Penn and Jens Pulver.  The session would have been pretty tense if Pulver actually won his “welcome back to the UFC” fight months prior. Instead, Jens got KTFO by a wild-eyed nobody (at the time) named Joe Lauzon. How do you remedy this issue? Make Lauzon a participant during the season and have BJ make the guys raise their hands if they did NOT want to be on Pulver’s team. We were also introduced to the unrefined, yet potent, skills of Nate Diaz (along with his brotherly inspired “Fuck You” demeanor towards Karo Parisyan) and some Ping-Pong skills that would make Forrest Gump puke. So, basically the entire thing resembled a trash can fire without the Doo Wop.

On the next page: Disgusting pranks, trans-Atlantic rivalry, and a pugilist named Slice. 

Freddie Roach Bit a Dude’s Eyeball; Also, Offers His Thoughts on GSP, Anders- No Seriously, He Bit Out An Eyeball


‘Oh Africa Brave Africa’. It was… a laugh riot.

By George Shunick

Famed boxing trainer Freddie Roach recently appeared on MMAJunkie.com Radio, and he delivered the goods. Sure, he touched on Amir Kahn’s upcoming fight, Pacquiao, and certain MMA fighters, but none of that matters. Freddie Roach almost ate a man’s eye in a street fight. Not only did he do this, but he talks about it with the gleeful amusement more befitting a child recalling his favorite prank than a grown man describing how he used his teeth to transform another human being into an unwilling cyclops.

The conversation begins with Roach discussing Amir Khan’s fight against Danny Garcia, but quickly veers into MMA. At one point, Roach claims that one of the reasons that boxing has fallen behind MMA in terms of pay-per-view numbers is that “[boxing has] promoters that don’t like each other, and they bring their personal life into boxing.” Fortunately, MMA hasn’t had to suffer overly emotional promoters who hold grudges, so it’s still in good shape. Then Roach hits on a number of topics, including…


‘Oh Africa Brave Africa’. It was… a laugh riot.

By George Shunick

Famed boxing trainer Freddie Roach recently appeared on MMAJunkie.com Radio, and he delivered the goods. Sure, he touched on Amir Kahn’s upcoming fight, Pacquiao, and certain MMA fighters, but none of that matters. Freddie Roach almost ate a man’s eye in a street fight. Not only did he do this, but he talks about it with the gleeful amusement more befitting a child recalling his favorite prank than a grown man describing how he used his teeth to transform another human being into an unwilling cyclops.

The conversation begins with Roach discussing Amir Khan’s fight against Danny Garcia, but quickly veers into MMA. At one point, Roach claims that one of the reasons that boxing has fallen behind MMA in terms of pay-per-view numbers is that “[boxing has] promoters that don’t like each other, and they bring their personal life into boxing.” Fortunately, MMA hasn’t had to suffer overly emotional promoters who hold grudges, so it’s still in good shape. Then Roach hits on a number of topics, including…

Lingering MMA-Boxing enmity: “I have boxing people that don’t like that I like MMA. And it’s like ‘they’re against us.’ And I said there’s room for everybody. A good fight’s a good fight. I don’t care what you call it. You know, I like good fights.”

Anderson Silva: “My good friend Anderson Silva, of course, he had a great fight the other night. They’re saying there’s a little controversy about the knee, that it was a little bit high and went to the chin… I talked to the commissioner Keith Kizer about it, he says ‘we have tape, it’s clean and they’ll be no change in the outcome.’ And Anderson’s one of the best guys I’ve trained, just as far as knowing timing and distance, he’s really, really good.”

GSP: “Right now, I’ve been working with GSP quite a bit. And he’s just like, he’s a great guy and he wants to learn. He’s the type of guy, you show him a move and the next day he comes back and he’s got it down pretty good. And I asked him ‘how long did you spend in the mirror practicing that?’ And he’s that type of guy, he goes back to his hotel room, in front of that mirror working on it. He’s just a great guy to work with.”

BJ Penn: “Penn was one of the best strikers I’ve ever trained. I think at that time he was maybe the best striker. He could really punch. I really liked working with him, and one thing about working with the UFC fighters or the MMA fighters is they have a lot of respect. They come to my gym and they bow and they’re very respectful.”

Tito Ortiz: “I trained Tito for a while also. But the thing about training Tito, though, is that he wanted to go to the ground right away. ‘Cause that was his thing. He didn’t like the standup as much as the other guys I had trained. He wanted to get me on the floor as soon as possible… Even on the mitts, he’d throw a combination and shoot for the takedown.”

Finally, Roach mentioned a street fight in passing. Curious, host George Garcia pressed him for more details. Roach then proceeded to explain how he ended up biting a dude’s eyeball out of its socket.

“I was leaving a club, and I was going out with this girl. She was a Penthouse Playmate and she was real pretty. She was a pretty girl, but she had a drug problem and so forth. So I really don’t know why this fight happened, but two cars, one cuts in front of me, one gets behind me, three guys jump out. I should have probably stayed in the car, but it’s not like me to stay in the car. I get out, the guy’s yelling at me in a foreign language, getting really aggressive, so I dropped him, and then I jumped on him, and then the other two guys thought I was a football and they kicked the shit out of me with their boots on. So then, I gotta do something drastic here, so then I took the guy and I bit his eyeball out. I had eyelashes in between my teeth. It worked though, ‘cause they swung a knife at my back and cut my shirt right in half but didn’t scratch me. And then they went to hit me again with it, and Mike Andolini [approximate guess of this dude’s name] I was giving a ride home that night, he grabs the knife, twists it out of the guy’s hand and threw it in someone’s yard. I had to take him to the hospital to get stitched up. I had 25 major contusions on my head, broken head, broken shoulder, they messed me up pretty good.”

Just, wow. I mean, Freddie and I must have a different concept of efficacy – I’m not entirely sure having someone swing a knife at you is proof that biting a man’s eye out “worked,” but to each his own. At any rate, this has to rank in the top five street fight stories in MMA lore, alongside Bas Rutten fending off Swedish bouncers and Lee Murray landing a Tekken combo and then curb-stomping Tito’s cranium. Even if, you know, this one doesn’t concern an MMA fighter. Whatever, no one’s a fan of technicalities. And as for the question everyone is asking; did he spit the eyeball out? “Oh yeah, blood was gushing. It was great.”

“It was great.” Don’t fuck with Freddie Roach.

Lamb to the Slaughter: Cody McKenzie vs. Chad Mendes Booked for UFC 148 in July


(You have no idea how right you are.) 

What in the name of Science is this bullshit? Fresh off a victory over Marcus LeVesseur at UFC on FUEL 3, it has been announced that the inventor of the deadliest guillotine choke known to man, TUF 12 veteran Cody McKenzie, will be making his featherweight debut at UFC 148, which transpires from the MGM Grand Garden Casino in Las Vegas on July 7th. Welcoming him to 145 lbs will be…Chad Mendes? Didn’t he just fight JOSE F’ING ALDO FOR THE F’ING TITLE?! Did McKenzie piss off Dana White, or is this Karma’s way of punishing him for making Josh Koscheck look like even more of a clown on the set of TUF 10? If it’s the latter, then Karma is a dick. A high school Letterman jacket wearing, clove cigarette smoking, man ass motorboating dick.

As we all know, McKenzie has won 11 of his 13 professional victories by way of his signature vice-grip like submission, aptly dubbed “The McKenzietine,” which has earned him a spot amongst the greatest one-trick ponies of all time. Mendes, on the other hand, has never been submitted, and is coming off the first blemish of his career, which came via brutal first round knockout to Aldo. Why it was decided that these two should face off is nothing short of baffling.


(You have no idea how right you are.) 

What in the name of Science is this bullshit? Fresh off a victory over Marcus LeVesseur at UFC on FUEL 3, it has been announced that the inventor of the deadliest guillotine choke known to man, TUF 12 veteran Cody McKenzie, will be making his featherweight debut at UFC 148, which transpires from the MGM Grand Garden Casino in Las Vegas on July 7th. Welcoming him to 145 lbs will be…Chad Mendes? Didn’t he just fight JOSE F’ING ALDO FOR THE F’ING TITLE?! Did McKenzie piss off Dana White, or is this Karma’s way of punishing him for making Josh Koscheck look like even more of a clown on the set of TUF 10? If it’s the latter, then Karma is a dick. A high school Letterman jacket wearing, clove cigarette smoking, man ass motorboating dick.

As we all know, McKenzie has won 11 of his 13 professional victories by way of his signature vice-grip like submission, aptly dubbed “The McKenzietine,” which has earned him a spot amongst the greatest one-trick ponies of all time. Mendes, on the other hand, has never been submitted, and is coming off the first blemish of his career, which came via brutal first round knockout to Aldo. Why it was decided that these two should face off is nothing short of baffling.

When assessing McKenzie’s performance after his career-saving win, we came to the conclusion that he “isn’t exactly ready for a huge step up in competition” and should face someone like Reza Madadi to see where he stands. Although dropping to 145 lbs. surely changes things up for him a bit, matching him against one of the most elite guys in the division for his debut seems a little harsh, don’t you think? Can you imagine how insane the odds are going to be for this fight when UFC 148 rolls around? Cyborg/Yamanaka insane would be our prediction.

And while we’re fantasizing, suppose McKenzie somehow manages to choke Mendes into next week, what does the UFC do with him then? If Erik Koch can earn a title shot with a win over Jonathan Brookins a year ago, #RallyforMcKenzie campaigns are going to be popping up on the Twitter accounts of every Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers cast-member overnight. Tins of Grizzly chewing tobacco are going to quadruple in value, and children are going to start guillotining each other on playgrounds across the nation. It will be complete and utter chaos. Sean Shelby, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!

The full lineup for UFC 148 (minus some changes that we will be made aware of this evening) lies below.

Preliminary Card:
Melvin Guillard vs. Fabricio Camoes
Gleison Tibau vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov
Shane Roller vs. John Alessio
Riki Fukuda vs. Constantinos Philippou
Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie
TBD Renan Barao vs. Ivan Menjivar

Main Card:
Demian Maia vs. Dong Hyun Kim
Rich Franklin vs. Cung Le
Tito Ortiz vs. Forrest Griffin
Urijah Faber vs. TBD *cough* Renan Barao *cough*
Chael Sonnen vs. Anderson Silva

–J. Jones

WTF of the Day: Denis Kang Competing on Korean ‘Dancing with the Stars’


Props: Supersindo.kr. Picture of Kang in action available after the jump.

I don’t know how to break this to you, so I’ll just be blunt about it: Remember when a victory over Denis Kang actually meant something? Yeah, those days have traveled the same road as Pepsi Jazz. After a disappointing 1-2 run in the UFC, “The Super Korean” has gone 2-3-1, which includes his current three fight losing streak.

And now, the once dominant PRIDE middleweight is competing on this season of Korea’s Dancing with the Stars.

If you’re wondering how the Korean DWtS differs from the American version (you aren’t, but play along), Director Shin Myeong-hoon recently told The Korea Herald that their version “will focus more on dancesport (competitive ballroom dancing), which has its own fan base.”

Granted, I’m not exactly a dance critic. In fact, I didn’t even know competitive ballroom dancing was a thing until that last sentence. But from the looks of this picture from last night’s episode, Denis Kang is about to suffer a loss far less dignified than his recent loss to Jesse Taylor:


Props: Supersindo.kr. Picture of Kang in action available after the jump.

I don’t know how to break this to you, so I’ll just be blunt about it: Remember when a victory over Denis Kang actually meant something? Yeah, those days have traveled the same road as Pepsi Jazz. After a disappointing 1-2 run in the UFC, “The Super Korean” has gone 2-3-1, which includes his current three fight losing streak.

And now, the once dominant PRIDE middleweight is competing on this season of Korea’s Dancing with the Stars.

If you’re wondering how the Korean DWtS differs from the American version (you aren’t, but play along), Director Shin Myeong-hoon recently told The Korea Herald that their version “will focus more on dancesport (competitive ballroom dancing), which has its own fan base.”

Granted, I’m not exactly a dance critic. In fact, I didn’t even know competitive ballroom dancing was a thing until that last sentence. But from the looks of this picture from last night’s episode, Denis Kang is about to suffer a loss far less dignified than his recent loss to Jesse Taylor:

So what say you, comments section? Does Denis Kang last longer on DWtS than Chuck Liddell did? That’s a match that Kang might be able to win.

Insane Tweets of the Day: Rampage Wants to be Released from the UFC *Now*


Source: @Rampage4real

Looks like Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is back on the energy drinks.

When he took to his Twitter page earlier this week to blast the UFC, many of us assumed he was just venting after a difficult loss to Ryan Bader at UFC 144. Well, Rampage is still venting, except now he’s asking for his release from the UFC. In a bizarre twist to an already strange situation, Rampage blames the UFC for the reason he’s lost his desire to fight. And he implies that the desire to keep fighting will somehow come back to him once he walks away from the biggest stage in MMA.

And if you thought that that was strange, consider his next two tweets, both of which in response to fans’ reactions to his initial announcement:

 
Source: @Rampage4real

Looks like Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is back on the energy drinks.

When he took to his Twitter page earlier this week to blast the UFC, many of us assumed he was just venting after a difficult loss to Ryan Bader at UFC 144. Well, Rampage is still venting, except now he’s asking for his release from the UFC. In a bizarre twist to an already strange situation, Rampage blames the UFC for the reason he’s lost his desire to fight. And he implies that the desire to keep fighting will somehow come back to him once he walks away from the biggest stage in MMA.

And if you thought that that was strange, consider his next two tweets, both of which in response to fans’ reactions to his initial announcement:


Source

Wait, Rampage is the victim here? You serious? The guy that the UFC bailed out when he went on an energy drink and “The Secret” bender before rampaging through the streets of Orange County? The guy that Dana White stuck with despite initially bailing on a bout with Rashad Evans in order to film a movie, threatening to transition to professional boxing and his questionable treatment of female reporters? That guy?

Makes sense if you don’t think about it at all whatsoever.


Source

If by “better” we mean “more winnable”, then sure. Rampage could certainly smash lesser competition with a lot less resistance than he’s facing in the UFC. But in terms of interesting fights that fans will pay to watch, don’t bother looking for them.

Not that it matters- If Rampage thinks the UFC is cheap, just wait until he sees what the minor league promotions offer their fighters.

But at least he still has that music career to fall back on, right guys?

Red Bull is a helluva drug.

Houston Alexander catches son Talking Dirty, Challenges him to Boxing Match, gets Arrested


“Back up, homie: What the hell is ‘Face Book’?”

As MMA fans, we’ve seen our fair share of “WTF” moments. From freak show fights to flashy knockouts to Jon Fitch partying like a rockstar to freaking Jose Canseco, you would think that we’ve seen it all and nothing could surprise us. Yet sometimes a story comes along that is so bizarre that even we are unable to make sense of it.

Houston Alexander returned to the spotlight this weekend. When we last checked in on the former UFC light heavyweight, he was getting his lights turned out by ex-hockey enforcer Steve Bosse. If you thought that was as low as things could get for Alexander, then prepare to flabbergasted.

Here is the latest update on Alexander, courtesy of KMTV News Omaha, via MiddleEasy:


“Back up, homie: What the hell is ‘Face Book’?”

As MMA fans, we’ve seen our fair share of “WTF” moments. From freak show fights to flashy knockouts to Jon Fitch partying like a rockstar to freaking Jose Canseco, you would think that we’ve seen it all and nothing could surprise us. Yet sometimes a story comes along that is so bizarre that even we are unable to make sense of it.    

Houston Alexander returned to the spotlight this weekend. When we last checked in on the former UFC light heavyweight, he was getting his lights turned out by ex-hockey enforcer Steve Bosse. If you thought that was as low as things could get for Alexander, then prepare to flabbergasted.

Here is the latest update on Alexander, courtesy of KMTV News Omaha, via MiddleEasy:

Police ticketed popular MMA fighter Houston Alexander for child abuse after the 39-year-old became upset with his 16-year-old and made him box with him.

Police reports say officers were called to a home near 44th and Maple for a domestic disturbance. The older Alexander told them he was having trouble with his teen son, who was “having explicit sexual contact on Facebook with some unknown females.” The 16-year-old reportedly lied and “made him very upset.”

According to police reports, “Alexander then retrieved boxing gloves and told his son, ‘If you are going to lie to me, then we are going to box.’” The two reportedly boxed in the basement. Officers describe the teen as having a “slight bloody nose and pain to his right side.”

Alexander was cited for misdemeanor [sic] child abuse.

In other words, “The Assassin” caught his son talking dirty to some lady friends on Facebook. When his son lied about it, Houston Alexander challenged him to fight on the spot. After the impromptu boxing match, police arrested Houston for child abuse.

We may be hack journalists, but even we have our limits. If there’s two things we don’t joke about at Cage Potato, it’s child abuse and surprise vans– so we’ll decline to comment on this any further. You guys in the comments section, on the other hand….